Home at last

So I'm finally home. My phone AND computer are broken AT THE SAME TIME, which has me convinced that either the universe is angry with me or something exciting is about to happen, and that exciting thing can only take place when I'm not distracted by a phone/computer.

Right now I'm on my dad's computer, but it's harder to get distracted in his office.

Regardless, I am hard to contact right now, but your best bet is facebook if anyone actually wants to say hello.

That was sulky.

Apologies. I'm hungry and it puts me in a bad mood. Mom and I had this plan to go to this juice place for breakfast after she got back from wherever it is she went, but now it's 10:30, and I've had some grapes but they are not cutting it.

But I want to go to this juice place, because apparently it's epic.

I'm learning German. For real now. It's going to be so legit. I know how to say "the man swims" and "the little girls eat"

It's really quite impressive.

On the agenda today:

1) Check out juice place

2) Run by apple place to inquire about computer's fixedness

3) Go to Verizon place to see if it's my phone battery or the whole thing that's screwed up

4) There was something else. I don't remember.

Love always,
Clara

[EDIT: I remember the 4th thing. Avoid cervical cancer. I'm scheduled for my last HPV shot today]

Tired tired.

I am, as it has been said, already a noodle.

Saw Dartmouth this morning and drove a few hours into Brunswick, ME, to see Bowdoin tomorrow. It's been cool (in the literal and figurative senses).

Also saw "Knowing" with my dad. Interesting movie. Pretty cool if you like apocolyptic scenarios.

In italy we had a couple conversations about our "favorite" apocolyptic scenarios. The guys favored zombies. Or I guess the conversation was mostly guys to begin with.
Then we began talking about asteroids, and what the government would do in the event of an asteroid or something that we couldn't avoid. Cyanide pills.
Then I kind of wondered, what if almost everyone took the cyanide pills, and the disaster didn't happen? That would be kind of cool.
And so with Alexandra's encouragement I have decided to make that my NaNoWriMo next november. Yay planning!

Step one of that planning will be to read "The World Without Us", to get a sense for things.

For now I am totally exhausted despite sleeping in the car because I woke up absurdly early this morning. Not on purpose.
Damn circadian rhythms.

Love always,
Clara

Real conversation with my dad

Driving up to Hanover
Me: Do you know where this hotel is?
Dad: I walked up to it... January 5th or 6th, 1971. I should be able to find it.

Of course, he did find it, within about a minute of getting into town. My god.

Love always,
Clara

I charge you,

oh circadian rhythms
that you stir not up, that you stir not up, that you stir not up
that you stir not up nor awake, awake, awake, awake
my love til she please.

That is a modified version of "The Rose of Sharon" by Billings, a song we sang last year in chorus.
It seems to make sense to quote it right now because I am that tired.
But sleep is simply not happening anymore.

I had a dream about trying to order pizza in an airport (before catching a plane, of course) and you had to use your passport number to do it, and Taylor D's dad was there.
That should tell you something about the last couple days.

In my brain it is almost noon.
This is not cool.

Non placet mihi.

I am such a latin nerd it's insane.
It's actually a good thing I'm a nerd like this, because I'm fairly certain all the colleges I'm exploring this week love nerdiness to some extent.
I hope.

Yikes. College kind of freaks me out. Just because I'm still not sure I know what I want in one.
But I know I want nerdiness. And friendliness. And to some extent I want it to be pretty, just because people are really affected by their surroundings and so living around ugly buildings and such would depress me.

Love always,
Clara

I'M BACK!

In the U.S.A.

Italy was phenomenal. Exhausting, but phenomenal.
Best bits:

• Seeing things (collesseum, roman forum, awesome renaissance art, pompeii, etc)
• Getting hit on by a mime (kind of literally)
• FOOD. Pizza in italy is not even the same thing as pizza in America.
• Awesome freedom and the subsequent wandering of the streets of Rome/Sorrento
• Chilling with cool people
• Finding myself saying typical stupid-clara things due to tiredness/jetlag (i.e. "I hate when you find out someone is dead after it happens")
• At our lodgings in Sorrento, we stayed in these cabins and outside there were orange trees. Like, you could reach up and grab an orange and peel it and eat it. To be fair, they were really sour and it wasn't exactly recommended.
• GELATO (egg flavor is randomly really good)
• I invented something called "the pasta game" that makes you pretend to be pasta to go to sleep. You start off as a stiff dried noodle and end up in a meal, covered in butter and cheese. Thus I got the nickname "noodle".
• Italian boys are attractive. Fact.

Now I'm on the good old college tour with dad. Today we hit up Brown and M.I.T. which was pretty cool; now we're in Hanover NH to check out Dartmouth tomorrow morning and then drive to Bowdoin.

My god I'm a nerd. But I'm so okay with that.

I have spent far too much time going between airports in the past fourty-eight hours. They are becoming something like a second home to me.

Oh well. Could be worse.

Love always,
Clara

I'm going on a journey...

...that would test the strength of love 

against the power of death

on this island of two different worlds

Whoa, musical moment. I certainly hope the latin trip doesn't involving testing the power of death. Sounds dangerous.

But that's what I'm packing for right now! Yay!

Or rather, procrastinating packing for. I have maybe two hours to finish this little endeavor. It's not a problem, right?

Chili is up in my room poking his nose at everything.

I have realized I've kept a blog in one form or another since like, seventh grade. I am an epic blogger.

Before that I tried to teach myself html with a website called "watermelon seeds". It was hot pink. And had zero content.

I was determined to make my own graphics... with microsoft paint.

So it went

1. Watermelon seeds
2. International News of Anonymous (1)
3. International News of Anonymous (2)
4. *secret secret blog whose name I will reveal had something to do with Altoids*
5. Love Always, Clara

A bit of explanation:

INoA 1 was the first real blog, and it had a color scheme similar to this one- pink on black. I basically wrote about my little 7th grade life, like taking the SAT and getting my room redecorated.

It also had a pretty sweet advice column, and my friends would make up problems to write to me about.

INoA 2 was a little bit more legit, far more pink, with something like monthly updates and links to other websites. But it also had a message board. Which was perfectly innocent, until it wasn't.

Give 13 year olds an opportunity to be monsters anonymously and they will take it.

So that transpired, I shut the board down, school administrators found out, and I almost took the fall for it, but I could prove that everything I said had "moderator" written under it. And everything I said was like, "oh let's be nice, don't hurt people's feelings, I like rainbows"

That was eighth grade.

I'd like to say I've changed since then. I definitely have.

But the more I think about the life and times of Clara, the more I think I haven't changed at all.

Which is a little bit alarming.

I suppose 7th-8th grade is an anomaly. No one is anything close to normal-functioning-human-being at that age.

No one I knew.

Italy will be fun. But the reason for my crazy blog-rant is that I probably won't be blogging in the next week, seeing as I'm not bringing my computer.

So...

so long, fare thee well, pip pip cheerio, I'll be back soon!

Love always,
Clara

P.S. Wow, I'm just full of musical moments today.

between lunch and now...

Hanna: Cath, pick up my planner!

Sam: Cath, don't let her be anti-semitic!

Me: How is that anti-semitic?

Sam: She's picking the only other jew in the room to pick on

Me: I don't think it's because you guys are jewish

Drew: Yeah, that's not why hanna's picking on cath. But it's why I'm picking on you.

David: If you're starving, you should eat Anneka's vocal chords. That sounded really creepy outside my head.

Mr C: So why would we use a word for petrified tree sap to talk about electricity?

Hanna: Oh, because electrostatics are charges standing still, and when something is petrified it stands still, like in harry potter they say petrificus--

Sam: PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!

Hanna: Yeah... So that's why.

Mr C: Cool idea, but no

Hanna: Mr Cobb, can I have ten points for Gryffindor?

Love always,
Clara

The saga of the tree

This was junior retreat. I'm not sure the videos make sense in order, but here they are. Guys throwing a tree into a lake.

Love always,
Clara

Anguish and whatnot.

Today was hell.

But I'm about to go to sleep and it will all be over. And the rest of my life will be happy in comparison.

Thank goodness.

I didn't let myself leave school until I had the bulk of my homework done. That was 7:25 PM. After the shuttle busses had stopped running, basically, which means I got to feel really guilty as a very nice driver took me to the junior parking lot.

My god, I wish I knew the bus drivers' names. I know Jennifer, because she was mine, and she's a little bit infamous anyway, in certain circles. And I knew Marcello, who used to be my late bus driver, spoke very little english, and was also a little bit infamous.

We had something of an understanding, in 8th grade, when I would be the only kid on late bus (on tuesdays. Due to voice lessons.) And I wasn't cool and comfortable with the late bus like those super awesome high school kids; I was wearing a kilt for god's sake. No one can be cool and comfortable wearing a kilt.

Or I guess some people can. Scotsmen, and those 8th graders who are such hot shit (at least in their own minds). And girls in sports uniforms, but only if they have any athletic ability (i.e. not me).

Anyway, he would tune the radio to oldies and I would sit quietly with my head against the seat and do homework, until that got soul-crushing, and then I would harmonize. At the time I thought it was quiet, but I'm sure now that I probably got pretty into it and he could definitely hear me.

Then one day I was half-complaining to my super cool 8th grade friends about it, and one said I should just change the station myself. So that day I got on the bus before he did and set the radio to 99.5. And it stayed there, I think, for as long as I rode the late bus.

To tell the truth, after that I kind of missed harmonizing to random oldies. Specific memory: Singing "Only the Good Die Young" as the bus pulled into the Safeway parking lot.

Marcello and I were chill though.

Although he had no idea what was going on most of the time.

I think he got fired... I haven't seen him once this year. And he was notoriously unreliable.

That's depressing.

Want to hear something non-depressing?

Tomorrow is the last day of school before spring break. 

That is definitely not depressing.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. Also not depressing: In 48 hours I will be on a plane to Italy. I need to pack.

A moment when Clara talks about herself

... in a slightly self-pitying and overdramatic way, because she only has 30 more days of being a sixteen year old girl.

So I was walking to chorus today (or rather, to book fair before chorus. I got three books for a dollar. It's fantastic) and I saw a bunch of freshmen, guys and girls, playing soccer on the quad. And they were having so much fun and I thought (or rather, said, aloud but quietly, because [secret alert!] I talk to myself quite regularly), "My god, I wish I were a freshman".

Then I looked in the other direction and saw a super cool bunch of sophomores chilling by this really great tree. These particular sophomores already know how much I admire that- they've got it figured out. If you have a sweet tree and people to chill with under it, you're essentially set. And I saw them and thought/said "Or a sophomore"

And then I thought about everything and thought (really, this time), "or anyone other than myself".

I'm not sure where that came from.

Except that I sense a great deal of unhappiness within my grade around now. Lots of projects and things, heightened awareness of this schism between ourselves and the faculty, etc, are making us very frustrated.

Like, example, today at lunch we had a pretty spirited debate about the acceptability of confiscating hats on a free dress day.

The issue, I'm pretty sure, wasn't actually hat-taking but (at least in my mind) the whole concept that so much of our lives is at the whim of a small bunch of adults. If they tell us to do something, we don't have many options.

And so why would I rather be another junior as opposed to myself? I've yet to figure that one out. Maybe I'm just done with it for a while.

That thought pretty rapidly dissolved, actually, when my mom came home and told me about her riveting experience at the White House. At that point I thought, "Wow, my life really is pretty cool"

Regardless of anything, spring break cannot come soon enough. Two days. Two days. It's like, a mantra.

Love always,

Clara

What we think about math.

Shivani: I f**ing hate math

Drew: I hate f**ing math.

Reilley: Yeah man. It's just kind of tedious.

(they continue)

Shivani: I don't get it.

Katie: Having sex with math is unpleasant.

Love always,
Clara

Whole Foods

Wend there. Today after school. With the mom.

I came home in a terrible mood only exacerbated by her announcement that we essentially had no food in the house.

So we went.

I was having sinus issues... When my sinuses disagree with me, they make my brain stop working. And considering I was pretty tired today to begin with, I was pretty off.

At Whole Foods they have like, homeopathic remedies for things. Got two: One for sinuses, one for "Nervousness due to everyday stress"

And I had some tea called "Easy Now" which is like, relaxation something with lavender and passionflower. I didn't know passionflower was a real thing, but it is and I drank its tea.

Anyways, I thought "Easy Now" was like, "Easy, Now!". Which I supposed they intended to mean "life, be easy when a person drinks this tea!" but I kind of thought it seemed more like "Be easy and/or sexually promiscuous, at this moment!". Which I guess a relaxation tea could do... when you think about it...

Then it occurred to me (or maybe my mom pointed it out) that "easy now" is a thing you say to someone to calm them down.

But still.

Love always,
Clara

History

Ms. M: Who went to the classroom first? [people raise hands] Did you say hello to the ducks?

Drew: And the Dinosaurs.

Ms M: I'm glad. They get lonely.

Drew: The Ducks and Dinosaurs need as much love as any child of god.

Love always,

Clara

Our resident conspiracy theorist

Shivani: Sam, maybe Catherine's secretly smarter than you but you like, give her pills at night to make her brain shrink, and her brain is slowly wasting away.

I love physics class.

Mr C: Does anyone blow on the top of bottles to get that note?

Cath: I'm good at that!

Shivani: I don't believe you. That's really hard.

Chanel: So Cath can't do it because it takes talent?

Later...

Mr C: Please, guys

Shivani: I can't be quiet, even if someone's threatening me

Talking about the olden days...

Mr C: Back before TV they had these newsreels that they showed at movies

Shivani: That never happened.

This is the girl who asked "What if chemistry is a lie?"

Way to be a skeptic.

This aforementioned newsreel just called the Tacoma bridge over Puget Sound a "Pendulum of Doom". I am impressed by the drama. The bridge is now "whipping about in a fantastic way".

Intensity.

Love always,
Clara

Eavesdropping

Otherwise known as: My favorite hobby.

Two sophomores (male and female) are discussing who the girl should develop a "crush" on. The guy is using all kinds of code names.

"Water will always be there for you. Like, if you have no electricity... you still have water!"

Now they're using australian accents.

Previously, the guy said that If he had one superpower, it was that he was a Super Secret Keeper. An SSK, if you will.

I'm something of a SSK of other people's secrets. Not so much my own, but I'm getting better. But as I've said, I blog. Privacy is not at the top of my list of priorities.

I used to claim it was. That I wanted to live a happy little life under the radar. My blog was password protected. It was all very secretive. And then I realized I totally hate that because I'm an eldest child, effectively, and thus I like attention.

I'm not technically the oldest. Stephanie and Donnie are my Dad's kids from his first marriage, 28 and 33 respectively. I don't know why we call him Donnie, seeing as he could have children by now. Probably just to differentiate between himself and my dad.

And they live in the area and they're around, but not so much that it would make me a "middle" child. Although when they are around, I pretty quickly assume that role. Mediator.

I have an aversion to conflict.

That's been true for as long as I know.

Except when it comes to my authority issues. Then I crave conflict like a drug. Adrenaline and the like.

In the realm of my own life, I tend to avoid conflict, just for the sake of my own happiness.

Love always,
Clara

I feel

like I've had a Red Bull or something.

Coming back from chorus, I had kind of a moment of insanity. I think I'm just nervous for this concert we have tonight. Or rather, I'm not nervous because the only people listening will be the 7th and 8th graders, plus parents, but I'm dreading it because I'm fairly certain we will not be at our best.

Yikes.

Anyway, now I'm trying to focus on a history presentation. Fail.

Although the presentation is pretty good. Props to Cat, Cara, Zander, and John. I'm going to start listening to you now.

Not that i wasn't before.

Love always,
Clara

Five days

Until I'm totally out of here and off to Italy. Thank god.

Between now and then I have to finish my profile, take the National Latin Exam, write up a Physics lab, do a Chem lab, and take a history quiz.

Shoot me please?

I really need to stop saying that. Daylight Savings Time has me kind of pissed off, but it's unseasonably warm, and I'm wearing short sleeves and I'm not even cold. So I should be happy.

Love always,
Clara

Oh, my town and its madness

Anyone with a mind for twittering may have realized I was frustrated with some parade-goers today. Here's the deal.

My town loves parades. I don't know why; maybe we have a great road for it? I think we're just really enthusiastic people. I generally love that. Enthusiasm is great.

But.

When the sidewalks are crammed with silly people wearing green (one third of whom you can probably assume aren't even irish to begin with) celebrating a holiday that's not coming for another week or so by cheering at an old car, and I'm just trying to get to CVS to pick up a prescription, and then drop off my film, it gets old.

I was tempted to buy some of those cool green necklaces with the clovers though, in preparation for the real holiday (seeing as I actually am Irish). Didn't have cash. Darn.

I've never really identified with the Irish stereotype though. I'm loud, but only because I can't hear myself talk. That's different. I'm not overly emotional (I don't think. Please tell me if I am). I relate more to my dad's heritage, that being largely Nordic. More mellow, more pragmatic, etc. 

My parents each see more of the other side in me. i.e. Mom occasionally entertains the idea that I'm a statue, Dad, I imagine, has a completely different perception, seeing as he seems bewildered at my wilder moments.

Isn't it weird that we're all kind of products of our parents, on a basic level? You could say we're also products of our surroundings, and I totally agree with that, but the fact is that in most cases, your parents are the first two people you know. So in the very beginning, they are your surroundings.

Whoa. I meant to be talking about the stupid premature St. Patrick's day parade and idiot tourists, and I've gotten into nature vs nurture.

Funny how that happens.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. Picking up prescriptions is really awkward. I resolve not to do that again for as long as I can avoid it.

I'm Back!

I was actually back yesterday, but I was too tired to think, let alone blog. It would have been messy.

So now that I'm fairly rested, I feel equipped to describe the madness that was Junior Retreat.

We get there and claim cabins. It turned out not mattering that much, but still, whatever. Then we all go sit in a room and play little games. And then we listen to jazzy music and make posters. Ours had Yar and narwals. So you know it was good.

After lunch, we watch a fairly depressing movie about kids in Israel and how they handle the conflict there. Kind of cute, kind of slow, in the end just incredibly frustrating. Or rather, I think the whole issue is incredibly frustrating (and a good example of a time when you have to put common sense over religion).

During a moment of free time, we girls had a dance party. Which was sweet.

And then we discussed the movie and discussed school and bonded. And watched another movie (Dead Poets Society) and discussed school and bonded more.

There was a lot of that.

Et cetera. We played manhunt until like midnight, went to our cabins, chilled out, went to other cabins, chilled out, et cetera. I have heard there were crazy games of truth or dare, and we essentially piled as many people as possible onto one bunk bed, which was just hilarious, and no one got much sleep.

The next morning, we did more bonding-type things. Some guys tried to throw a tree into a frozen lake. Then we took a bus home, and I tried to sleep for a bit, and it was all lovely.

I had fun.

Then I came home and like, passed out. I was like, about to go to sleep, watching Sisterhood of the Traveling pants with my sister and my little cousin who's visiting, when Isabella calls and asks whether I'm coming to hang out.

So I get out of my pajamas and go.

I love being a teenager. There's an awesome independence and an equally awesome rationale for doing stupid things. It's like, do you ever wish you could have a day when nothing really mattered? I feel like that's our lives sometimes. Which, in a non-nihilist way, is really fun.

Because nihilism sucks.

I have loads and loads of video from the trip, so expect some.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. REAL CONVERSATION

I was tired, and had just described the guys throwing the tree into the lake.

Me: There was this rock island thing and to get there you had to climb down a cliff and use a rope and cross the stream and wander through the magical forest and there was this tree on the side of the land and the lake was icy and...

Daphna: Are you sure the whole thing wasn't just like, a bad acid trip?

... like I said, I was tired.

Model Congress video!

I'm feeling like quite the filmographer recently.

Except when the super cool actual world-changing awesome documentary woman comes and gives us a totally awesome assembly. In which case I feel acutely aware that my silly little music videos will save zero lives in the Niger Delta.

Oh well.

Here goes:

Love always,
Clara

P.S. Tomorrow and Friday I'll be at junior retreat. Expect no blogging.

But afterwards, expect some kind of rant on the nature of bonding. or something.

Priorities of readers of CBS news

Priorities:

1. Food
   
2. Things that will never happen to you
   
3. Ugly cats
   
4. Murder
   
5. Politics
   

Love always,
Clara

Physics and love. Again.

A person in my physics class whom Mr C. tends to joke about hatred for has recently found himself a lover.

We were explaining this to him.

Shivani: Mr C, you know [redacted]? Her.

Mr C: Yeah, she's a really nice girl right? Oh, this is terrible. I'm calling her parents.

Apparently something relating to limericks happened on a quiz that I haven't taken yet (physics+limericks=I don't even know).

Hanna: [redacted], we made up two lines of a limerick for you- 'he gave her some drugs, so she would do more than hug'

Mr C: Um, that's illegal

I'm not sure why I'm beating so much around the bush in all of this, because those who know what I'm talking about know what I'm talking about, and those who don't wouldn't anyway.

I just learned a while ago that people's personal lives should stay mostly off the internet.

With the exception of facebook.

Love always,
Clara

Reasons I love Latin Class

Mr C: How do we know that's a dactyl?

James: Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith

Alexandra: Good job, Mr Soren Kierkegaard

Me: *overflows with intense love for existentialism and Alexandra*

Will: Nice.

Love always,
Clara

Open question

I happened to be in the same building as the 11th grade parent forum tonight, which my dear mother was moderating. After I had completed my own business, Katie and I decided we had a right to hear what these crazy parents and administrative folk were saying about us. And by "us" I of course mean the collective bunch of juniors who I am intensely defensive of. "Us" is my second family, even if I'm not bffs with all of "us".

So we had our heads in the window listening in, and my mom came over to discreetly moderate us out.

I know what goes on at these meetings usually: Too much work, not enough sleep, will they ever get into Harvard? Oh I am a stressed parent!

This time it is obvious that certain recent events are being discussed, as they should be. Communication is good. 

But if it's obvious that we're being gossiped about, why don't we have a right to know what's being said?

My question to you, whoever it is that reads this, is as follows:

Does one inherently have the right to know what is being said about them? In cases of like, meanness? In cases of people trying to help other people (as in the case of this parent gathering thing)?

You are totally welcome to comment  in that little thing below the post that says "comments"

Love always,
Clara

Musical video!

So this is about a week late, but hey, I'm supposed to have a life too.

Without further ado, a tribute to the cast of the winter musical:

Love always,
Clara

History presentations...

... and the people who love them.

Yar was worried Zander's face would make him laugh.

Yar: It's a shame Zander isn't a muslim woman.

Reilley: Yes, that's a shame

Zander: Why, so I could wear a veil?

Yar: Yeah

Zander: You should be suspended for saying that.

Love always,
Clara

I get funny spam.

I figured I'd empty out my "spam" folder on Gmail (which, like everything google-related, I totally love, by the way).

Fantastic subject lines that I didn't pursue:

• Want to make 156 today for typing in your favoritePJs? (what if I'm wearing PJs I'm not fond of?)
• Hey, you've been selected (Hey, thanks for selecting me!)
• Your score does not matter to us (what score? who ARE you people?)
• Buy a richer lifestyle... cheap (...wait, what?)
• Common Worries! (Is that supposed to entice me?)
• Be at peace - Help prevent colon cancer with ColonZen (I hadn't realized colon health and spiritual wellbeing were so intricately connected)
• Celebrities are swearing about acai! (Mental image- Kanye West muttering, "fuck acai")
• Complimentary Colon Cleanse (*speechlessness*)
• The Secret of Immortality (OH MY GOD! Why hasn't this been on the news?!)
• What the government doesn't want you to know (I must say, I'm intrigued)
• Greatness awaits. You could be part of an Elite Database! (Um, did the nazi party just discover the internet? I'm afraid. But also surprised they're not more selective)

And my personal favorite,

• HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM... IN BED

I swear to god, all of these were really in my Gmail spam folder. Seriously.

Love always,
Clara

No school!

Snow is a great thing. Really truly.

I saw Milk today. Really good movie. If you haven't seen it, go see it. Seriously incredible.

I spent a solid portion of today reading the Comics Curmudgeon. There's a link in the previous post I think. Or before that.

Also talked to Isabella about school and whatnot. Figured out what I missed on thursday and friday (being at model congress and all). 

We had a class meeting... we tend to do that when things get crazy. And evidently, things have been crazy. Isabella and I had a pretty interesting conversation about authority though.

My opinion:

People with redeeming qualities deserve respect. Most people are nice or smart or something, so I tend to assume this means everyone.

But no one deserves authority. People are inherently in charge of their own actions (and I'm having an existentialist moment-- this always happens on snow days for some reason. Was Sartre a snowman?). If someone tells you to do something and you do, it's still your decision. If they threaten you, you decide doing what they want you to do is better than like, being shot or whatever, to use an unnecessarily violent example. 

Not even your parents/teachers. The reason we give parents authority is that as much as teenagers hate to admit it, they tend to be right about things. Not always, and I'm lucky to have pretty rational parents with usually pretty good advice, but in general they know what's going on. There are of course exceptions. And when my parents tell me to do something I think is stupid/pointless, I tend to ignore them. It just doesn't happen that often.

My decision.

And yes, sometimes they tell me to do things that would be a good idea and I ignore that too, out of laziness or contempt or whatever. I'm sixteen and am somewhat entitled to my idiocy.

Teachers too have our best interests in mind, generally. Obviously if you teach math you think math is super awesome and should be taught.

Occasionally, people in authority are wrong. At which point, that needs to be recognized and addressed.

Example: School administration responded poorly to unspecified event. Students display disapproval by means of black-wearing.

And as I've said before, teacher respect is totally a two way street. If we want to be treated like adults, we ought to act like them.

But I think it's completely rational for us to ask to be treated like adults, even if technically we can't vote and our brains have a little way to go before they're done. Although one day I know I will go back and read this and laugh at my naivete, I feel pretty mature and independent. 

So I wasn't at this meeting, but that's probably what I'd have said if I had been there...

Or in the grand style of Clara-public-speaking, I would have said, "Okay, so there's respect-deserving, and then there's authority-having, and we need to differentiate, because we should be treated like adults too, but we're like, teenagers, so it's all kind of messy and... yeah"

At which point, Chanel would say "You and the talking..." and I would receive several looks saying "wait... what?"

Because I don't tend to make sense, especially under pressure.

Although I argued pretty coherently in favor of prostitution.

Love always,
Clara

The Delegate Dance

Oh, the sexual scandalocity that tends to take place among young faux political officials.

Model congress dances are insane. Great, but insane.

Here's my theory on model congress dances:

The whole weekend everyone's getting up and debating things and being cool. And that leads to some tension.

And people tend to anticipate sluttiness, and girls claim to dread it and guys have essentially no comment, except perhaps some sort of high five.

Because everyone knows what's going to happen.

And then you throw several hundred model congress charismatic/interesting/repressed people into a room with some darkness and glow sticks and music... and everyone gets a little bolder and there is a standard level of insanity that must be met.

I enjoy it, for the most part, seeing as I always have a good bunch to rescue me if the *predators* get too enthusiastic.

Those predators. Always getting enthusiastic.

And of course I reciprocate the rescue missions when necessary. Although most of the girls can take care of themselves. Anna G tends to tell guys she has a boyfriend... she told me this on the elevator ride up. This would have been good to know beforehand. But I should have come up with it on my own, seeing as I've used that one.

(To be fair, I was fourteen. And didn't know how to reject people)

(To be fair, I still don't)

Real conversation between Guy-I-Was-Dancing-With (GIWDW) and Guy-Cath-Was-Dancing-With (GCWDW)

GCWDW: Hey man

GIWDW: Hey

GCWDW: How's it going?

GIWDW: Pretty good

GCWDW: Yeah

GIWDW: Hey man, is my hair still glowing?

GCWDW: A little.

Anyway, scandalous sexytime.

Speaking of scandalous sexytime, we legalized prostitution this morning. I gave a pro speech. And then they suspended the rules to extend my time. Which always happens to me when I'm saying things that are controversial.

It happened at PMC when I was talking about religion in schools. Which I'm passionate about. I'm not exactly passionate about prostitution, but I figure the bill made sense.

Regardlesssssss, I don't know. Forget that rambling with this funny link.

Love always,
Clara

Section III is the legal part of the Malleus that describes how to prosecute a witch. The arguments are clearly laid for the lay magistrates prosecuting witches. Institoris and Sprenger offer a step-by-step guide to the conduct of a witch trial, from the method of initiating the process and assembling accusations, to the interrogation (including torture) of witnesses, and the formal charging of the accused. Women who did not cry during their trial were automatically believed to be witches.

Via Wikipedia

I read this aloud.

(Long story as to why I was on this wikipedia page)

Me: Oh. I would be believed to be a witch then.

Cath: I believe it.

Fun fact for context: I don't tend to cry when it would make sense to. I don't cry at like, group gatherings. I cry when I can't get my drawers to interact correctly with my dresser.

Love always,
Clara

Cath is my hero

Cath: (Being awesome and enthusiastic)

Me: Did your bill pass or something?

She is having a silly moment and it is funny.

She just described how she intends to introduce herself to a guy she met in a stairwell (oh, connotations). I won't write it though, because out of context it might reflect badly on Cath's character, only if you don't know Cath.

But I do. And take my word for it- she is funny and has marvelous character.

My committee is super awesome... I like it a lot.

Shoutout to Red Senate- Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions! Loves!

Cath: My bill passed! And even the scary intense guys supported me!

Jamila: (implies that they may have been more amenable to supporting her bill due to her attire)

Cath: What? You mean it wasn't my natural charm or intellect?

Me: You're super charming. You just also happen to be incredibly attractive.

Cath: ... it's a burden.

Love always,
Clara

Hope and change

I found this incredibly entertaining.

Love always,
Clara

MoCo

I bought model congress sweatpants. And they say "MOCO" on the ass. I love that.

Thursday something funny happened in math.

Yar: Why do lumberjacks like statistics? Because they get to work with logs!

Sam: (disgruntled) My log joke was better.

Eleni: (in her quiet happy way) No it wasn't.

Sam's log joke was something about logs being natural and the number e. It was sort of roundabout. Katie and I tried to help him save it, but he would not listen.

My bill passed! It was exciting and great. Now I get to argue everyone else's. No more timidity for Clara. I didn't want to offend anyone before they had to vote for me... but not so much anymore.

Not that I'm going to like, tear everyone down. I tend to be in favor of bills, just for the sake of being in favor. I'm an optimist.

I also love amendments.

Today is our long day. I'm more excited for tomorrow. We may see big papa.

Love always,
Clara

We're Here!

Yay! The four lovely juniors' room is actually not ready yet, so we're sharing with the three other girls for now. Seven girls in a room.
It's a little crazy.

I'm nervous... I think my bill is first. Damn my last initial falling early in the alphabet.

Love always,
Clara

About to embark...

on a journey.

A journey that would test the strength of love against the power of death, on this island of two different worlds.

Or rather, to model congress in Philidelphia, but I'm still in musical withdrawal.

Yikes. Excitement. Two hours on a bus.

Currently sitting in english.

David and Paul's Word of the Day

Bird- The bird is the word

Love always,
Clara

The dietary supplement genistein can undermine breast cancer treatment

The dietary supplement genistein can undermine breast cancer treatment
It's model congress time again. Those dietary supplements are going down.

Leaving tomorrow morning. Will blog from there. Yay!

Love always,
Clara

Hilarity courtesy of David

Slightly heartbreaking, mostly hysterical

These are too funny.

Love always,
Clara

Busyness.

Last week: Tech week

This week: Model Congress

Nest week: Junior Retreat

After that: Spring break in Italy and then various colleges in new england.

Then back to school.

Then my birthday and I believe Daphna's coming to visit.

Then... okay, I don't know. But the next two months are kind of packed.

See? I am a very busy person. I felt the need to prove that by posting my schedule.

Regardless, I took a two hour nap today. Not playing softball basically means I can't complain anymore, because it's two hours of each day that I regain. 

Interesting fact: "Horrify" and "Whore-ify" are the same word. So if you say someone horrifies you, you're either feeling shocked or sexual.

Another interesting fact: The population of New York grows at about the same rate as the hypothetical "rat island". What does that imply? Who knows?

Alexandra (a.k.a. Mama Latin) said this today: "I'm going to work at Denny's for 20 years, start chain smoking, dye my hair pink and call myself Betty"

She is positively brilliant and needn't think these things. But her thoughts entertain me.

Love always,
Clara

Studying for latin

Or rather, blogging about it.

And by means of blogging, procrastinating.

I also have to work on a history project... Yikes. And House is on tonight, and I'm not missing it. I'm fairly certain it's about a hermaphrodite.

I read Middlesex last year for school. I'd been meaning to read it anyway. Anyways, it's about a hermaphrodite. And it's really good. I recommend it. 

Now it sounds like I have a thing about hermaphrodites. In the same way I have a thing for propaganda and the Nazi party. I don't like, aspire to participate in any of these things, but I find them fascinating. You know?

Not that hermaphrodites are like Nazis. They're not like, evil. Oh god.

I am digging a hole for myself.

Anyway, here's a funny conversation to distract you from that rambling.

Savannah: Let's move the chairs so they face the TV

Will B: Um, let's move the TV to face the chairs

Savannah: We can't do that. They're all facing different ways

Me: I'll move your TV to face the chairs

Savannah: *giggles*

Will B: Oh god, you're going to blog that, aren't you?

Me: Yep.

Love always,
Clara

Change

... is a good thing. (Obama moment).

Being a terminal creature of habit, I've found I tend to avoid change.

That ends today.

I just quit softball and signed up to tutor kids every monday night.

This is new.

And thus exhilarating. I may become one of those people who does drastic things on a daily basis.

Or not. 

Who am I kidding?

Regardless, this is fun.

Love always,
Clara

Blegh day

Epic sibling drama+post musical depression+sleep deprivation=not such a fantastic day.

But.

Lily Allen's new album is awesome.

And I went to Lohemann's with mom, which is awesome.

And we went to Panera and I had an awesome mango smoothie and had songs about juicy, lovely, poison mangos stuck in my head for about an hour afterwards.

And then we hypothesized about the future, which was both frustrating and exciting. And makes us sound far more philosophical than we were being.

I am so tired I might sleep through Dawson McAllister. I hope I don't. I love that radio show. Anyone in the DC area, tune to 99.5 between 10 and 12 on sunday nights. It's a fantastically amazing advice type show that I listen to ritually. And I missed it last week due to 3-day-weekend confusion. So I want to  hear it.

Not that I intend to stay up until midnight. Madness. No, I set my radio to turn off after two hours, and fall asleep whenever. Which is usually a little before eleven.

But tonight it may be far earlier. I couldn't sleep in this morning because... my brain woke me up (unfair, cruel brain), and I'm exhausted now.

I need a haircut. But I can't figure out when I'll have time to get one.

The next month is about as scheduled as one month can be. 

Love always,
Clara

Some videos.

Feat. Kate, Rebecca, Taylor, Emily, etc.

Feat myself, Ella, and Samantha. In what came to be Lily's headdress.

Feat. Will and Taylor

Love always,
Clara

Once on this Island

I love us.

I miss us already.

We cannot evaporate.

I wanna sing sing sing, I wanna shout shout shout, I wanna sing, I wanna shout, praise the lord

When these gates are open wide, I'll be there right by your side, I wanna sing, I wanna shout, praise the lord.

Those words will be stuck in my head for at least a week.

At this moment I want to

a) sing

b) cry

And I can't sing because it's one in the morning, and my house is sleeping, and I can't cry because I just don't. The only time I can remember crying under rational circumstances in public was at the end of camp this year. And only this year. And there were a lot of reasons for that, all complicated.

I don't like/acknowledge/believe in endings.

That's my problem.

It hasn't occurred to me yet that come tuesday, I won't be singing with my musical buddies after school. I'll be playing some hateful sport that I can't bring myself to take seriously.

Anyways, I'm hyper and have tons of video that I need to edit/upload. So get pumped for that.

Tonight, I'll probably just facebook stalk people for the next hour, and then go to sleep. Or not.

Love always,
Clara

A lovely mango!

The musical was tonight!

I'm high on life.

No joke. The musical=good crack.

We rocked it tonight. Fo rizzle. It was all there. And no major slips.

(Major slips do happen. Last year, I think on opening night, we cut about five minutes out of the end of Act 1. When Act 2 started, there were some characters the audience had never seen before and everyone was using a different name for no discernible reason. That was a major slip.)

If I might ramble about my ego for a moment, I must say I was proud of myself tonight. The love goddess thing suits me, I've decided. 

Then we went to Silver Diner, as superstition dictated, to ensure that our own fortunes would multiply. Or something. We mostly go for the shakes and fries.

I took lots of video, most of which will end up on here at some point. I'm thinking music video/documentary format. Compiled and edited. That'll be my project, once I find an ounce of spare time.

I'm already kind of feeling post-musical depression. I feel like today everything came together, and I'm dreading the moment driving home from the cast party that it falls apart again.

I live on this business.

And softball simply doesn't have the same effect. Sadly.

But alas, sports credits beckon. So I'm stuck.

Real conversation of the night:

*Will C blows at me through a straw. He was trying to fly the paper wrapper thing at me, but failed pretty epically*

Me: I've been blown at!

Lily: I don't think I've ever heard that preposition after that statement.

Me: Oh god, let me rephrase. Will blew at me with a straw!

Lily: *laughs harder*

*we continue in this way, and I begin to observe the fact that the milkshakes come with thicker straws. at this point, straws have developed unsavory connotations*

*I reach for Lily's water straw as an example*

*I suffer anomia*

Me: I'm touching your... thing

Lily: *giggles*

Me: And look, mine's thicker!

It was a long conversation. But worth it for the innuendo.

Oh, and the most notable innuendo of the show:

"Come here then. Stay the night and show me your powers. Make me forget this pain. Who knows, maybe the gods did send me a gift after all"

-Will (as Daniel) to Samantha (as Ti Moune) in a steamy moment right before I make them fall in love.

Love always,
Clara

Perhaps another discussion of civil liberties

So a lot of people are wearing black. For the thing that happened.

Which is great. I look like a secret agent. Which is up there with the tiara look on the list of "things I should wear more often but don't because it's unusual".

Certain teachers are freaking out though. Not all of them. A small minority, actually. But enough to make the entire thing blow completely out of proportion. People have cried. As if the most peaceful of protests makes you a bad person.

It's a mess.

But although one teacher things our class is "going downhill", I think it says good things about us. We stick up for our friends, we are capable of organizing peaceful protest, we have self respect. We're not saying we hate the administration. Really. Most of the teachers are fine with our statement. And most teachers have been at least understanding of our outrage, even if they disagree.

Which is wonderful.

The thing is that it's propagating this 'us vs them' mentality thing of which I am so not a fan, and that's a two way street. Everyone wants to play the victim there, but the fact is that both parties have allowed the notion into their heads.

At which point all I can say is: This time, they started it. 

Love always,
Clara

In which I quote Camus

A thing has happened, involving silliness of teenage boys and subsequent gross overreaction of the administration.

I won't go into it; I learned long ago that school dramas don't belong on the internet.

But it's sparked some interesting discussions.

The student body, collectively, is outraged. The punishment does not fit the crime. And the administration is taking a very defensive position on the whole debacle of decision-making.

(What they're saying, basically, is "Hey people got mad at us for the decision we almost made, and that was inconvenient for us; now shut up")

But there's something thrilling about fighting the system. Suddenly you're the protagonist in the epic of david vs. goliath. And I've felt more connected with people I'm not even that tight with, just from our mutual outrage.

To quote Albert Camus,

"In our daily trials rebellion plays the same role as does the "cogito" in the realm of thought: it is the first piece of evidence. But this evidence lures the individual from his solitude. It founds its first value on the whole human race. I rebel--therefore we exist."

And I've been thinking my school has a lot of problems. I've been writing them down actually. A list. Maybe I'll post it here one day, if I'm in a really bad mood. Most of the points could apply to any school, really. Other schools with problems.

I'm a person who likes to stir things up. I'm generally non-confrontational when it comes to personal relationships, but when I'm fighting das man I relish it.

So every time something 'outrageous' happens, I always nurture this hope that we'll all come together and fight it, so that we can "lure the individual from his solitude".

It's happened before. Freshman year. The dress code was arbitrary and silly. We agreed that some sort of dress code should exist, but didn't like the random details in the rules (i.e. you couldn't have rivets on your pants. Like, those little metal things. Because... they aren't classy?). So some seniors organized a protest. We were all to wear ugly things. Really ugly. And clashing. But in dress code.

And many did, myself included (duh), and we paraded ourselves around looking confused when people gave us weird glances. I even walked through the Intermediate School (our 7th/8th grade division) to see my old teachers, and scolded them for their "tremendously inappropriate attire" (whoa, Ms S is wearing pants with rivets! And Mr A doesn't have a belt!).

Freshman year was fun, but that might have been the best day.

And *we won.

I wear rivets.

So I want that again. And this is a good cause. Really. What has happened is absurd and inconsistent with my school's typical attitude.

I want to fix all of this.

And maybe I'm an idealist too, who thinks that if we just explain what happened, the adults will realize it's all just been a big misunderstanding.

I know I'm an idealist.

Idealist non-confrontational rebel-lover?

Can that exist?

She does, her name is Clara.

Love always,
Clara

*For islanders: Before I typed that, I thought "Students fought against rules, and the hated administration; they fought for their clothing and finally won!"

Here I am.

David and Paul's Word of the Day

Scrip- a small bag or purse.

I'm carrying a scrip around today. To carry my stage makeup/spandex etc, for the show. It's turquoise.

English class is madness.

Mr B is injured. This is not good.

Love always,
Clara

End Suffrage!

In history class. Discussing women's suffrage and WWI

Bam: Don't women already have suffrage at this point?

Ms. M: Maybe in your mind

Everyone: Wait, what?

Yar caused something of a disturbance.

Bam (whispering): Yar, no, don't!

Ms. M: What?

Yar: Apparently i was about to do something that people aren't supposed to do, but eveyone does, and that it's a bad idea ... It's like cigarretes, there is something that you're not supposed to do, but you do do.

Ms. M: Are you selling drugs over there or something? You're not very subtle.

For the record, he was about to eat a stride gum wrapper. I do it too. Only when I'm in the car.

Love always,
Clara

Bagels

Mr D: Ms D isn't here today, so she sent me instead. She told me to bring you bagels, but I think poems are more nourishing than bagels, so I brought you a poem.

This is what happens when English teachers get married.

Love always,
Clara

There is no 'like' in physics... only love

Me: I don't know why I'm on such crack today

Cath: Is it tech week?

Me: Yeah

Cath: That's the problem

Me: It' hasn't even started yet!

Cath: ... oh. Best of luck.

Love always,
Clara

Math Class

Reporting Live from H block Precalc!

Mr H: I've looked this up. Rats are incestuous. They don't care

We were doing a project on rats and their reproduction

Mr H: On week 9, they got pregnant again

Yar: Except they didn't, because it was thanksgiving, and they were feasting with the squaw... pigeons.

I was talking about my profile subject. Sam asked (in some kind of semi-logical context) whether she was going to have children. I said that would probably be unsafe for a woman her age.

Sam: Is she an old menopausal woman... like Katie?

Katie: What?

Everyone: Sam, what?

Shivani hates this class (and she is not alone) and is making brilliant and slightly violent pictures on her laptop now.

We're all supposed to be using Excel. I don't even have excel on this computer. It vanished when my hard drive died.

Which was really frustrating.

Although I do love GoogleDocs.

Love always,
Clara

Propaganda debate

Yar: This is going to sound really liberal, and I'm not sure if I believe it, but...

Drew: Oh, say it anyway, so we can flame you.

I love history class.

Despite what I was saying earlier.

Love always,
Clara

Welcome to Tech Week

Don't expect much power blogging this week. Spare time will be at a minimum, seeing as the musical is this weekend and long-running practices are to be expected.

I'm excited. Despite myself, I love tech week like no other. It's up there with exams.

It seems I relish insanity.

Breakfast club was awesome. We were first talking about how to "fill the hole" of emptiness that is inherently one's life (before they go about filling it).

And then we got on to decisions. And regrets.

I've found it is impossible for me to regret anything. There are things I ought to regret I suppose, but every decision I've made was 

a) all I could have done at that moment

b) an experience making me who I am

And so I seriously have no regrets. Not to say I haven't made mistakes (oh lord no. I have. I swear. Don't worry).

Isabella shares this belief.

People really open up in breakfast club. It's good.

It's interesting and very existential. I like it when Jesus Club takes a turn for the philosophical. Those are the best weeks.

Love always,
Clara

I have a mask on my face

And it feels weird and tingly.

Brilliant link courtesy of Katie

Love it.

I'm all about brevity today.

Today I went to a deli and delis were involved. And at said deli, I bought 8 oz of vegetable soup. Which was really pretty great.

Green tea too.

Love always,
Clara

Another impressive time-waster

For people who find food entertaining.

Deep fried s'more on a stick?

That's either disgusting or brilliant.

Probably both.

But what impresses me mostly is its rapid popularity.

Which I am propagating. 

Clever bastards.

Love always,
Clara

Little to say

I interviewed my profile subject today. She's cool. And knows everything about my town. Which adds to her coolness.

Have been hanging out with my parents today. That sounds incredibly depressing but it's not really.

Or I'm the biggest dork ever.

Or both.

Mom and I just watched Austin Powers.

Mom: (before ordering) Is that the one with the shagalicious guy?

Me: ... yeah.

Oh dear.

Love always,
Clara

Blogs greater than my own

I know what you're thinking.

What? You mean this isn't the greatest blog ever? How can that be?!

But it is true

the "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks

men who look like old lesbians

cats in sunglasses

Love always,
Clara

Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's day is an interesting holiday.

Pros:

• It's festive
• Pink is among my favorite colors
• Love is a great thing
• Candy is wonderful
• Cupid is kind of cute
• It's an excuse to be enthusiastic
• If you're in a relationship, you can go out and be romantic and whatnot

Cons:

• Some single people get mopey about it (I talked to a few people yesterday who said they were going to wear all black in spirit of 'singles awareness day')
• It's kind of awkward if you're in a relationship
• It's rather awkward if you're not, but good friends of yours are
• There's nothing to do that night if you're not, because other people are out.
• Red isn't a flattering color
• Ask Daphne and Apollo; Cupid's a vicious little brat

In the end, I like holidays. So yeah, I basically wore head to toe pink today, with cheap CVS beads and everything.

On another note, I've decided tiaras need to be in style. Because I almost wore one today (it was pink). And I didn't, but I decided it was a good look for me.

So I might rock that look in the near future.

Love always,
Clara

My mom is enthusiastic about her closet

Mom: Come on Clara! Come see it! Please? Come on. It'll just be one second. It's so organized! Don't you want boxes too? Please please please please please? Am I going to sit here waiting forever for you? You have to look! Come on! Please? Then you can see how nice it is!

Me: This is like playing with Chili

Mom: I don't appreciate that analogy.

Mom: (continues pleading)

Love always,
Clara

Physics rave

We're playing with tuning forks and strobe lights.

Chanel: Mr C, why does the school have a strobe light to begin with.

Mr C: Mr L and I have raves on weekends. Only the special people get to go. Tori's been invited a few times.

Later (after the experiment)

Mr C: The thing is, this is all we do at the raves. Sometimes we use a few tuning forks, and that's when the police show up.

Now we're testing our hearing...

Mr C: Your great grandparents at your age probably had better hearing at your age, just because you guys have been exposed to urban noise. Back then it was like "hey it's saturday night. Let's stand in a field!"

on Kindergarten marriages...

Hanna: In Pre-K, I wrote a love letter to Eric C.

Anneka: You're the easiest person I know!

Drew: Especially if I were Flemish.

I don't even know where that one came from.

Love always,
Clara

First of the morning

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANN!

David and Paul's Word of the Day

Junket- a feast/banquet

Love always,
Clara

I like Grapes

On an unrelated note...

Sam: Wouldn't it be cool if, in economics there were a formula to account for human irrationality?

Me: Yeah, but you can't like, multiply all your decisions by 54.7

Mr H: Haha, "Oh no, I'm off by a factor of 1.15! If I just divided my life choices by 1.15, I'd be much happier!"

I cracked up.

Me: I like wordplay.

Alexis: Wordplay?

Me: Yeah

Alexis: Okay, I thought you said something else.

That pervert. This is the girl sometimes known as the "pubic touch lady", seeing as she has a tendency to mishear things. Most notably...

Mr B: Are you guys familiar with therapeutic touch?

Alexis: Yeah

Mr B: Okay, well that's what we're going to do.

Alexis: Wait, what? Oh I thought you said pubic touch.

When I start laughing, it's hard for me to stop. Especially in musical practice. I have some theories on that:

1. Musical practice is funny
2. At the end of the day I'm too tired to control myself
3. It's become a thing (i.e. once I realize I'm doing it again, that makes it worse)

Will B has a problem with this. Actually both Wills have a problem with this (we have 4 guys in the musical. Half of them are named Will). It's possible that most people have a problem with this. But they're all haters.

Will B: Clara, when that little demon in your head tells you to start laughing... resist.

Love always,
Clara

She's right, we don't

According to my iTunes, I’m three episodes behind on 24. So that will be my bedtime activity tonight. Most people read, but I’m blonde, so you know, we don’t know how.

-via Mary Rambin

I love her. Embrace the blondeness.

Love always,

Clara

Stress v. Complacency

Mr P says we're complacent. Or rather, that our student body on the whole is generally complacent.

Although I look at my grade and see stress. Everywhere. People freaking out. Nervous. Etc.

Which is curious. I see it hard for the two to exist together.

Not that I'm disagreeing with Mr P. I see the complacency too. Apathy and the like. It's a drag. People will walk into a class and simply not care. At all.

(Not this class. We in AP US History having an engaging debate regarding the stimulus package. Except me. I'm blogging.)

So I think both things are bad. It sometimes looks like the teachers want us to work all the time. I know it's not true, but that's the impression that people get. So we get work, and a lot of it, and we freak out because there are not enough hours in a day to do work and pursue something we like. And that's a shame.

On the other hand there are people who seriously do. not. care. And that's not okay either, because you come to school for a reason besides "I have to".

Mr P supposed that people are complacent because there's nothing we're striving for. Perhaps a drawback of going to private school is that we trust we'll have stable and successful futures (and if not, our parents will cover us for a little while).

But people who have goals, like, dreams, they're not complacent. There was a girl I knew who had decided at 8 years old that she would go to Yale and study journalism. And she was motivated. Fantastically driven.

And with all the stress we have, so much of our consciousness is "okay now I have to write an essay and then I'll take that test and..." it never gets past high school. Or worse, we think "Okay now I'm going to get grades and GET INTO COLLEGE" and that's where the planning stops.

Because we don't have time anymore to realize we really love journalism.

I think what I'm getting at is that a little bit less stress given by teachers would, I hypothesize, eliminate a lot of the complacency they're seeing.

One day I'm going to write a book about Educational Theory.

Love always,
Clara

In the Morning...

We're translating Metamorphoses...

Mr C: Well here's fumabant, something was smoking. And Pygmalion's statue was smokin'!

David and Paul's Word of the Day

Environs- surroundings

Love always,
Clara

More Hilarity

The Onion is definitely my news source of choice.

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

Bad language, yes. But it can be forgiven. Because this is amazing.

Love always,
Clara

Oh my god. Too funny.

Funny things have been happening.

Grace showed me this:

IS THAT SERIOUSLY SUCH A COMMON THING?

Five minutes later, she asked me whether I thought humans have souls.

I thought she said "Cubans"

I was like "My god, are you extremely terrified of chinese people too? What assertions based on nationalism are you going to make now?"

I've been mishearing things all day actually. In musical practice today, there was a group line about how the upper class's "hearts yearn forever for France"

For some reason, I thought Mr B replaced the word 'France' with 'sex'

And I cracked up. For like, ten minutes.

Grace: I have a big test tomorrow

Me: You have a big chest tomorrow?

This is my problem. I blame allergies.

Love always,
Clara

Sinusoidal wave form?

My own sinuses are having a hissyfit. It's warm, which is great, but that leads to time outside, which is also great. what's not great is the pollen in the grass, or whatever else it is that makes my allergies freak out.

And I didn't take my singulair last night. Bad choice.

Yesterday...

Me: *is weird and giggly*

Joey: Did you take your pills today?

Me: YES! I DID! I REMEMBERED TO TAKE MY SINGULAIR!

Mr B: That's for like, asthma

Me: Yeah, see, the thing is when I get allergies, they infect my brain

Anyway, the sinusoidal wave forms are in physics. Where I am. Wait, what?

I am in that realm of waves. Mostly sound waves. Or others. And Light.

The speed of light is c. Which stands for celer.

We had chem outside. So obviously my senses are a little... off.

Hanna's last name is Rocks. How cool is that? And the Rocks family is tall, generally.

Just now Mr C was discussing how he buys big clothes for his young and growing son.

Hanna: We tried to do that with my brother...

Mr C: But the Rocks family is freakishly large! A week ago, you were 5' 2"

A moment of serendipity just occurred. Involving myself being a physics dork.

Maybe I'm a curiosity dork. Or a person who was accustomed, in her wee years, to asking complicated questions to try to outsmart teachers. Not that I knew the answers. But they didn't either, and I supposed they'd never thought to ask.

In retrospect, I bet they did.

I was a pretentious little thing.

Mr C on genealogy: You think 'oh, I must be related to all these famous people'... nope, all just alcoholics and criminals

Today in math, I learned that I am the age of the average penny in circulation.

Mr H: So the average penny was minted sometime between 1990 and 1992

(it is realized that that is also the average age of those in our math class, roughly)

Me: That's weird to think about. Like we've all been minted and exchanged and whatnot

Reilley: "how old are you?" "let's just say i'm the age of the average penny..."

Sam: I feel dirty

Me: That was creepy...

Humid air. it's what we're discussing, and it's what's outside.

What crack am I on today?

I was laughing at lunch (not unusual)...

Teddy: You're laughing way too hard

Isabella: (having misheard) WHAT?

Teddy: (repeats). What did you think I said? That her laughing...

Isabella: Makes you hard

Teddy: I'm sorry clara, that laughing will never make anyone hard.

and then...

Teddy: Isabella, your laughing makes me flaccid

Isabella: Good. Let's keep it that way.

Later I found myself in the grass with those guys. Isabella was reluctant.

Isabella: Teddy, if you make one penis joke, I will... (trails off menacingly)

Teddy: Hey isabella, your pink highlighter is... hard.

Maturity in abundance.

Love always,
Clara

Warm day

David and Paul's Word of the Day

Duenna- an elderly woman serving as a governess and companion to younger ladies.

Ms. D: (about yesterday's Word) You knew that one already?

Sam: I like to stay informed about my obscure mammals

Love always,
Clara

Reasons sleep is great

1. It rests your eyes
2. It rests your brain
3. Your brain does things when you're sleeping that get your thoughts in a line
4. Sometimes your brain solves math problems. Or mine does. Sometimes
5. Dreams are great.
6. Beds are cozy
7. If for one reason or another you're not in a bed, there's an exhausting novelty to it and I end up appreciating my sleep more.
8. It's a solid way to differentiate between days. I hate it when you stay up past midnight and you want to say "oh on saturday night" and picky people say "NO that was sunday morning!" thinking they're clever. They're not. If I haven't slept, it's saturday night.
9. When you wake up you forget who you are for a moment.
10. Hitting the snooze button
11. Too many times
12. There's something cuddly about it.
13. I make bad decisions when I'm tired
14. I'm not getting any right now!
15. And by that I mean sleep.

Oh wow. Time for bed, Clara.

Before you say any other stupid things like "sleep is cuddly"

Which didn't make sense, but I'm not erasing it either.

Love always,
Clara

Decisions, decisions

So I had to

a) choose

b) contact

c) schedule interview with

my 'profile subject' today. Nerve wracking much? I procrastinate. That's my problem. So today I was like, sneaking into the bathroom at lunch to try to call potential subjects. 

On the way home there was only a parking spot on the other side of the street, so I intended to drive around the block. And I found myself driving into the heart of town, to the one street where I knew I would find either

a) Those involved with "Ghost Tours" or

b) Those involved with our newly-opened "couple's boutique" (read: sex shop)

The thing was, I was so ready to walk into la tache (i think) and ask for an interview, but concerned my wonderful english teacher wouldn't appreciate the absolutely necessary deviation from what is generally considered 'appropriate'. And the thought of walking into the Ghost Tours HQ with no idea what I was doing there was terrifying.

So I paced the sidewalk for a little bit. And then I went in.

To Ghost Tour HQ.

And I rambled for a bit.

And... SUCCESS! LaQuinta, weekend manager, is going to meet with me on saturday! And she's already told me that my house is probably haunted. This is going to be AWESOME.

Love always,
Clara

Ways to send a message to your friend in Timbuktu

Letter

Email

Telegraph

Candygram

Fax

Telephone

"mental telepathy"

Carrier pigeon/birds

message in bottle/on arrow

make Anneka run there

Smoke signals

Whale

Facebook

Video/tv

...in that order.

As compiled by my physics class.

This is why I love school.

Love always,
Clara

Diners

Diners are great.

When I was little, dad would take Grace and Donny and I out to the silver diner. It was great.

And in high school, after opening night of the musical, we go to the silver diner. Tradition. It's great.

And this morning, for breakfast club, we went to the family diner place. Lots of people and eggs and I had coffee. So great.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. Fun fact: I didn't plan to end every line with the word "great". It just happened. That's how great diners are.

P.P.S. Insight of the day (after the [possibly excessive] coffee): "Caffeine makes me talk. It doesn't make me make sense"

P.P.P.S. The nature of this post may have to do with that possibly excessive coffee.

Techno Language Education?

So Kayla inspired me. She's learning spanish via podcast. Because she's proactive and generally amazing.

I decided to do the same with german; last year I tried to learn a little before our chorus trip to Germany and Austria. I didn't learn as much as I'd have liked to (and had several embarrassing stupid-american moments) but it was fun, and convinced me of the virtues of multilingualism.

Anyways, I downloaded an audiobook on it. I should have known when I saw the name of the publisher, Earworms Learning, that something would be eccentric about it.

It's like, a conversation between two people, but with a techno beat behind it. And they like, speak in rhythm. 

"bitte shun, bitte shun, bitte shun..."

(it trails off in rhythm)

Anyways, I just learned how to order a glass of white wine. In the first eight minutes. They really get down to business.

Love always,
Clara

Twitrage.

Philip wanted me to blog about him. I told him I would and sent out a tweet about it.

Then I forgot or figured a tweet would suffice or something else happened. Whatever.

Today he accosted me in the hallway. He said that I had not blogged about him, I had twittered about him, which doesn't count, or something.

Apparently twitter is for stupid people. With no lives, and who want everyone to know what they're doing at all times.

Um, that's so me. I told him I was horribly offended.

Whatever. Exhibitionist, I am.

I like to tell people what's going on with me at all times, even if they're not listening. People who know me will acknowledge this.

That's why I hate secrets, as I said before. It kills me.

Philip is cool though, because he's among the few people at school who I can talk to about existentialism.

That number is growing, but he's notably interested.

Props to him.

Although in the title, I think I just called him a twit.

Love always,
Clara

"Incest is Creepy"

Sam said this.

Just now.

POE is creepy.

Love always,
Clara

Word of the Day

David and Paul's Word of the Day

Echidna- a burrowing, spiny-coated, toothless, nocturnal, monotreme mammal of Australia.

Suzanna: (talks about the Grammys)

Ms. Dewey: Was that a dream?

Suzanna: It's on the news!

--Proof of how weird the world is.

Love always,

Clara

Hey hey hey!

Didn't blog yesterday. Should have. It was one hell of a day.

But that's beside the point.

Everything is kind of crazy over here. A side effect of having political parents, I suppose.

Went to the basketball game last night for maybe half an hour. It was boring. I'm pretty sure we won.

I used to really like basketball games last year. I think we just picked a kind of empty one to go to. They're only cool when they're crowded.

Note to self: When sleeping over at Isabella's, inform parents.

Love always,
Clara

So here's a thought

I got a letter the other day from this college summer program. And it looked like an interesting one, so I went to the website.

And I realized it was basically independent (i.e. when you're not in class, no one is telling you what to do). At first I thought that would be kind of weird, and then I realized, that's what college is going to be like.

And then, the weirdest thought: That's what real life is like.

High school warps people. We've gotten pretty good at taking orders. But that can be a blessing or a curse.

It's like that book "Ella Enchanted". Or the movie, if you prefer. We're really good at doing what we're told, but what about otherwise?

Ella was something of a free spirit anyways. She was cool. I always liked her.

Yar told a really great joke today:

What did the progressive say to the dinosaur? 

"You should be dead!"

It struck me as really great at the time. Although, at the time, of course, I was writing a history essay. So anything would have struck me as really great.

Love always,
Clara

Sam's Palindrome

Sam, upset/ADD, dates pumas.

He wrote that himself and is very proud of it.

I can't judge. I love palindromes.

Love always,
Clara

English Telepathy

Bam: I just got word from Suzanna that... [redacted]

Ms D: Oh. And how did you get this word?

(It is assumed that she texted him)

Bam: It's sort of like a subconscious thing

Ms D: OH, okay! Let's all send Suzanna a vibe!

Ms D gets into these romanticism lectures and starts to believe in the supernatural occurrences. 

Love always,
Clara

400th post!

David and Paul's Word of the Day:

Zucchetto- a small round skullcap worn by Roman Catholic ecclesiastics.

And this is my 400th post! Love always's tetracentennial. Or something.

Love always,
Clara

Going Crazy

I love advisory dinners. Although being a non-starchy vegetarian at Chicken Out is kind of tricky. Whatever; they have salads and brown rice now, and I'm happy.

But driving home at that hour kind of addles my mind. I listened to "Where is the Love" on full blast the whole drive home, and then, once I was home, decided I didn't want to be home yet, so drove around my town and revisited my childhood. Still pumping the Black Eyed Peas. 

It was great. I saw my old house, the park, my preschool, etc etc. You'd think I'd see those things all the time, but it's all near the river, and I tend to spend more time on the side near the metro station.

Nostalgia gets me.

Then I came home and watched The Office and now I'm just tired.

Love always,
Clara

History class and Mr R's anger

"And this is going to sound weird but like, I thought it was cool that there were only four presidents who were assasinated, and I was one of them. Like, I felt kind of elite"

-Cat on why she loves McKinley

"That light doesn't work. I'm going to come in with a gun and shoot it"

-Mr R. was having a bad day, and taking it out on inanimate objects

Love always,
Clara

At home...

Being sick is boring. It turns out I had a fever all along, but by 3 o clock I was restless. I convinced mom I was well enough to go to Staples for a graph paper notebook (I've been needing one for a while) and proceeded to stumble around like a drunk woman.

I wish I could have let everyone know, I'm not drunk, I'm ill.

At Staples in the checkout line there was the usual assortment of random items. Including something labeled as ".2 LITER REALLY USEFUL BOX"

Which cracked me up, especially in my state. Which is continuing, actually, but I plan to be at school tomorrow. Probably drugged up, but there.

I think I'm especially prone to medicines' side effects. When I take benadryl (which isn't that often, but my allergies sometimes necessitate drastic action), I kind of lose it. Like, rolling on the floor giggling. Occasionally I'll take it on a plane if I know I have to sleep (i.e. changing time zones, flying at night) and it's landed me in some pretty funny situations.

Involving a lot of giggling.

So I'm hoping that doesn't happen tomorrow.

Love always,
Clara

As predicted

I slept for thirteen hours last night.

It was awesome.

Hoping I'm not missing much at school, also relishing the rest.

Love always,
Clara

touching and beautiful

A Three Part

Love Story

By Mr. B.

This is so cute. I want their life.

Love always,
Clara

The Emo/Goth distinction

Youtube makes my life.

I might be closer to the "freaky goths who speak latin and go swimming in leather jackets". I do take latin, after all.

Love always,
Clara

Wow, today was FUNNY

We were all wondering where Ann went yesterday.

Grier: The whole school thinks you're addicted to meth, pregnant, and a christian scientist. At least, that's what I heard...

Mr. C was appalled at Cath's lack of enthusiasm

Mr. C: We have lunar eclipses far more often

Cath: Yeah but no one cares, because it's the moon

Mr C: I care!

I can't even explain this one, except that Shivani said it and it had to do with a math achievement test.

"Do you feel inclined to be a space explorer?"

Love always,
Clara