which? where? witch? whale?

I've been all over the place for the past few days. Apologies.

Last night I was hanging out with Dylan and Genevieve being generally studious. The two of them were both doing math I think, and I was doing my linguistics reading. The problem with doing linguistics reading is that a solid amount of that reading needs to be done aloud, at least in the phonetics section.

Me: You guys, do the words 'which' and 'witch' sound different to you? They're spelled differently phonetically... the W has two different letters...

Genevieve: Which... witch... which...

Me: The 'which' is supposed to sound more like 'where', whereas the 'witch' is supposed to sound more like 'with'. Is this making any sense?

Apparently the two sound different in different dialects of american english. I can't say I've heard these other dialects.

Me: You guys... do pot and bought rhyme?

Dylan: Yes?

Me: They say no.

I've got this weird paranoia now that I've been speaking english with vague and inaccurate pronunciations for my entire life.

Whatever. I know what rhymes with what.

But which W was used there? Or in that 'which'?

I'm sticking to "that" from now on, given the choice. These Ws are crazy.

Love always,

Clara

fight! fight! fight! fight!

I met some of the funniest people last night. I was at Jo's having a grilled cheese with tomato, and I sat down with them.

Me: Whoa, recap this? I'm lost.

Dan: So you know the pirate ninja thing? Like, pirates versus ninjas? It's kind of overplayed.

Cameron: So we were thinking, the new epic battle could be Quakers versus Leprechauns.

Me: Wow. I like it. You've got that nationalism element, irish versus the dutch... and the cereal aspect of things.

Dan: Cereal! We hadn't even thought of that! The quakers are after the leprechauns' lucky charms!

Next time someone asks you about a rivalry between groups (I want to say mythical groups, but obviously Quakers are real), mention quakers vs. leprechauns.

This is going to catch on.

Love always,

Clara

zoombinis, and mad class

So the other day I was sitting in the Ivy room with Benny and John and Megan and her friend Anna whom I've maybe met twice.

We were eating hummus and such other middle eastern things.

Somehow we got on to talking about video games we enjoyed as a child.

Benny: Do you remember that game, with the little blue people? And you could give them hats?

John: Oh! And they could have springs for feet?

Me: And they used to make pizza for the grumpy people?! And there was a sneezing mountain?!

All of us, in dorky and unrealistic unison: I loved that game!

None of us could remember the name. We didn't have very many identifying features either. How do you google that?

"blue people making pizza sneezing mountain children's game"?

Well, yes.

We spent the next fifteen minutes reminiscing about the Zoombinis that we used to love.

Someone, somewhere, probably my father, once told me that the word "that" was once said to be too versatile to be useful, and someone once came up with a sentence that uses the word "that" something like six or seven times in a row. I've made an effort to use "which" instead as much as possible since then.

However.

On thursday I was in my Introduction to Linguistics class, and someone asked the professor about the that/which distinction, and she said that they were both "proper", although "that" is more colloquial.

Take that.

Speaking of classes, I think I've got my schedule figured out: Intro to Linguistics, Intro to Economics, The Meaning of Life, and Intro to Modern Culture and Media.

Three classes on Mondays and Wednesdays (and perhaps fridays, depending on what mcm section I'm placed in), and one on Tuesday/Thursday. I'm always done with classes before noon. Hooray for not having to rush to lunch.

Also, Emma Watson is shopping my philosophy class. Or, she was, for about ten minutes on friday. She sat down like three rows in front of me and I was so excited.

She probably hates people like me- random stalker freshmen. Oh well.

This whole post has been so rambly.

Love always,

Clara

ice coffee

An interesting fact is that in many parts of the world, iced tea is marketed as "Ice Tea". In english. The international community's refusal to participate in our use of the perfect passive participle ('iced') is perplexing to me, but after a year of drinking Lipton Ice Tea in Switzerland, I've come to terms with the fact that the product sounds more like a chunk of herbal ice than anything else.

Which brings me to my next point: How not to make iced coffee.

So yesterday I bought a coffee maker for 20 bucks because I'm finding I rarely go to the Ratty for breakfast, and anyway the coffee at the Ratty looks like swamp water or something. It was a good investment, I'm pretty sure. It also makes water hot, so if I want to use it for tea or soup or something, that's also an option.

This is all beside the point. For those in places that are not experiencing this weird pre-hurricane heat wave, it is way too hot to be drinking coffee.

Unless, perchance, that coffee is iced.

I decided it would be worthwhile to make some iced coffee, to fulfill the joint goals of learning how to work the damn thing, and having coffee this morning (this all happened yesterday). So I filtered some water and I scooped approximately 2 1/4 tablespoons of coffee mix into the filter area and I did everything right.

And then I put the resulting coffee into the freezer.

For 12 hours.

So this morning I'm looking forward to drinking my iced coffee, and I open the freezer, and it's not so much iced coffee as ice coffee. As in, frozen solid.

I've got mad skills.

Also, I'm finding it curious that so many of these random-college-moments involve refrigerators.

Love always,

Clara

refrigerator adventure

First of all, I always want to put a 'd' in the word 'refrigerator' and it's really problematic. Someone tell me I'm not crazy?

Anyway.

Story time.

So, today, I was walking out of my dorm to go buy some books (because it's the first day of classes, and I think I have my schedule mostly figured out). As I exited the building, I ran into John and his roommate who may or may not be named Lob Sing or something similar. On a related note, I'm realizing how much I suck at names.

John and the roommate who must not be named were wheeling a minifridge around.

John: Hey Clara! Want to see our refrigerator? There's a murky liquid in it!

Me: Absolutely! I love... murky liquids?

So John opened the refrigerator door for me, and, lo and behold, there was a mysterious murky liquid indeed. It wasn't at all what I was expecting. It was a sort of watered-down-magenta color, and there were little things floating (growing?) in it.

Me: It looks like there's an ecosystem in there!

It turns out, John had acquired this refrigerator from his sister's friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin's dog-sitter or something, and it was free, which explains a lot.

It was wild.

Then they left it on the lawn with this other pile of trash, where a dumpster used to be.

For some reason, this was like, the highlight of my day. I had to blog about it.

Love always,

Clara

hey there sydney dalton i think you're chill

This is when you know you spend too much time on the internet. I'm ashamed to even be aware of this debacle.

So here's the story. I'm paraphrasing Jezebel's coverage of the nonsense. This girl that you see above decided she would make an anti-Justin-Bieber video. It's sort of cute. In any case, I am well acquainted with awkward early-teen youtube moments, and am completely sympathetic to the way she will look back on herself later.

But you know those Bieber fans. They're not the most rational people. And by that I mean, I'm almost concerned that there are subliminal messages in his songs.

Which brings me to this video:

THIS GIRL ISN'T EVEN UNIQUE. Sydney Dalton and #slutneydalton were trending topics on twitter today. There is a massive army of awkward tween girls, and they're all pissed off at one person. And sending her DEATH THREATS.

For just about no reason.

I am so glad I'm older than this/not mentally unstable (oh wait, yes I am, but in different ways).

I'm cracking up right now.

Like... wow.

What is the world coming to?

There is also a point to be made about cyberbullying and such but this is too much of a joke for me to take anything seriously at the moment.

For the record (because I don't want to receive any death threats), I rather enjoy some of Justin Bieber's songs, but sometimes I have really bad taste in music, and I totally accept that.

Love always,

Clara

in which i wish for more classes for the first time

Guten morgen!

I woke up way too early this morning. Why I ever thought taking a shower would take almost an hour is so beyond me. I'd resolved to eat a pop tart instead of going to the dining hall, so I've been chilling in my room for the past hour.

I do have somewhere to be this morning. We have meetings with our advisors to figure out courses and such.

My issue is that there are way too many courses I want to take. I want to do introductions to everything, because why the hell not? I've always wanted to know something about linguistics/computer science/urban studies/economics/etc.

We'll see what the advisor-man tells me, and we'll see what I end up taking. I really do have to limit myself to four though. Which might be impossible.

The past couple days have been chill. I want classes to start though; I need to be busy.

Oh well. I only have to wait until tomorrow.

Love always,

Clara

an abundance of hangers

I ran into Ora today! I'm not sure I'd actually seen her since she graduated a couple years ago, but there she was standing in line at the Brown bookstore this afternoon.

Ora: Hey! What are you doing here?

Me: I need more hangers.

Ora: Oh, if you want to come by my dorm, I have a thousand extra hangers.

Me: Awesome! Thanks!

So I go over to her dorm. It turns out she's pledging a coed fraternity this semester (which sounds really cool), and their building shares with another frat. She wasn't exaggerating when she told me how many hangers she had. There might have been tens of thousands. So she gives me two big armfuls and we plan to grab lunch sometime and I walk back to my dorm. With two huge bundles of hangers. Going through a frat.

I felt like Edward hanger-hands or something.

It was awesome.

So that was just one of the many many uncomfortable-freshman moments that I know are in the stars for me.

Hoooray for being awkward.

Love always,
Clara

oh hi college

I'm moved in. I've unpacked and I've put my photos on the wall and I am so living here.

Here are some pictures. I feel like I should be busier than I am, and maybe there's some kind of social mingling happening that I'm not aware of.

I need to find that.

Love always,

Clara

UPDATE: College is awesome.

stressing out

In 15 hours, I will be in Providence, Rhode Island.
I am stressing out.

We (meaning myself, my mother, and two of my many many aunts) went to Target today to pick things up. Various simple things like laundry detergent and Advil. Somehow this became a crazy stressful experience which I would prefer not to repeat. Everyone had opinions on my laundry detergent! No one understood my desire for cute band-aids!
I'm a wanderer. I like strolling through every single aisle figuring out exactly what it is that I need. I don't like limiting myself to a plan, and I don't like having to justify my decisions to other people, and I don't like it when other people (who aren't aware of my elaborate decision-making processes) give me relatively unnecessary input. I know that in the end, it's all body wash, but I want the one that smells like pomegranite because I had a weird love affair with the scent of pomegranite last summer, and my old shampoo/conditioner used to smell like pomegranite, and now that I'm using different shampoo I need some pomegranite in my life, and I don't want to have to explain that to my random well-meaning family members.
I have my reasons.

This is why I used to go to CVS by myself. I'd just wander around. It was great.

Then we got pedicures which was nice except that the woman tried to attack me with her viscious sandpaper torture device. Besides that blip, I did get a lovely lavender color on my toes, so... all's well that ends well.

I've just been stressing out all day and getting worked up over random things. What I need is to blog and run around on the internet for a while, but there hasn't been time for that.
Now there is. I feel much better already.

Blogging is sort of like a drug for me. It keeps my internal monologue from getting to out of sync with reality. If I'm being a crazy person in my head, usually it goes unchecked, but I like to think that I have to acknowledge my madness if I write it down.

Anyway. Expect another blog post tomorrow, and the day after, and forever more, and if I stop, know that I am either busy (e.g. yesterday) or completely losing my mind (e.g. yesterday).

Love always,
Clara

goodbye, switzerland!

I'm leaving. Again.

I think I'm getting used to this itinerant life though. Maybe I should be a Foreign Service Officer. Or door-to-door Bible salesman.

I feel very tempted to bring the kitchen sink.

I went to school today. I needed to pick up my yearbook, and I wanted to bid my ISB friends adieu. I also wanted to steal some music from Thomas's USB, but that didn't exactly work out (coughthomasisafailurebutjkilovehimcough), so he's going to do something fantastic to get me his awesome music, somehow. I trust him.

I'm going to miss the ISB kids. I've gotten so used to their antics. I've grown accustomed to their faces. I've sang songs that I've written in front of them. They've seen me at my best and some of them have seen me at my worst as well. I edited (read: designed) their yearbook, and had to pretend to have some knowledge of the general zeitgeist. But, just as Heisenburg would have predicted, my observation altered the result. I think.

(Wow, I just grossly oversimplified quantum mechanics. Sorry, Heisenburg.)

In any case, they're great and I'm going to miss them and I have this feeling that my absence will be noticed. If anything, with Emily and I gone, it's going to be a lot quieter in the hallways. To which I say, to hell with that. I'm going to be making hallways noisy somewhere else.

At least two of them twitter, so that's a plus. Thomas, I know you're reading this, and I expect you to at least tweet music recommendations at me. And get me that USB. Somehow. I will try to spread the gospel of Freelance Whales to the greater Providence area. And, of course, Marina.

I'm tempted to give everyone shout outs right now, but that's going to get lengthy and awkward and boring to anyone who doesn't know whom I'm talking about. Let it be said, instead, that all of you will go far (essentially, at the risk of sounding pompous, I don't hang out with people who aren't destined for great things).

If you have the chance, come to university in America (or even elsewhere on the east coast of the North American continent) so we can hang out. I'm looking at you, Kajus. And Adelene. And whomever else.

Any of you, feel free to send me your TOK essays. I'll be sure to get high on shrooms before editing. Then you're sure to get a 7. Because, you know, that's how TOK works.*

What is reality anyways?

All in all, I love you guys, and I'm off to college, and I'll see you in December.

Love always,

Clara

*Disclaimer: I've never done shrooms. Mom, calm down.

somehow i think my google results are okay

First, a real conversation from this afternoon--

Mom: Is that you?

Me: Who?

Mom: That girl.

Me: No.

Mom: She looks like you.

Me: Mom, she's black.

Mom: She's wearing sunglasses.

This is what happens when mom looks over my shoulder as I newsfeed-stalk. She can't tell the difference between a news feed and a profile I don't think, so she thinks every item is related to me in some way.

Speaking of facebook and the internet (and the crazy way we live our lives these days), Daphna is very concerned about her google results. When one googles Daphna, the fifth result is her involvement in a facebook group called "Whenever I feel down I listen to the Enormous Penis song and everything's OK"

Daphna

WHAT WILL THE COLLEGES SAY
Clara

haha
Daphna

enormous penis = rejection
Clara

the colleges don't have time for your penises
Daphna

hahahhahaha
idk

they stalk facebook
Clara

seriously
Daphna

they can google my name
Clara

they get SO MANY applications
i feel like they only facebook stalk if they're really super not sure. or bored.
Daphna

although

if i google you

the first thing i get is

clara beyer (clarabellum) on Twitter
its been said i'm a tender spanish lover. also, naked romps lead to jail.
twitter.com/clarabellum - Cached - Similar

Clara

and somehow brown let me in

Daphna

brown might be down with the naked romps. i doubt princeton is down with orgies and enormous penises. they are less chill. they're presbyterian for god's sake.

For god's sake.

Tomorrow is my last real day in Switzerland. I'm going to school to pick up my yearbook, and getting my final shit together. And on Wednesday, I fly to Boston.

This is insane.

In other news, there's an awesome thunderstorm going on right now. I love storms.

This has been a random blog post, brought to you by Clara's tired brain and an excess of date bars.

Love always,

Clara

dancing panda

Enough with the real world.

Check out this panda.

He's going to find the guy who's climbing in your windows, snatching your people up. HE'S GONN FIND YOU.

Love always,

Clara

new songs, and me being a stresscase

I had an interesting night. Instead of going into it, I'm going to show you the music I downloaded today.

Internet Killed the Video Star - The Limousines

Young Blood - The Naked & Famous

Corporation Town - Thomas Patrick Maguire

Kiss With a Fist - Florence + The Machine

Sorrow - The National

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

When I'm Alone - Lissie

I've decided I need to make a playlist for "Things in general are not so bad or scary". I've always been a crazy stresscase. I try to pretend that I used to be a crazy stresscase, but that's a lie. I've just gotten better at talking myself down from things.

Sometimes though, I can't totally talk myself down. And I go straight back into stresscase-mode.

When I was younger, I'd get sent into this state by little random things (that my mother would tell you were just projections of greater issues). If I didn't think I'd unplugged the glue gun, I'd stay up at night in a cold sweat with a stomach ache just thinking about my impending doom, and plotting possible ways to get down to the basement/craft room without alerting my parents to my insanity.

Getting slightly older, this would be prompted by an unprovoked certainty that I was failing 10th-grade-world-history (because I got a B on the last essay and haven't done my reading for this week and it's already thursday OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS OVER). And there was no unplugged glue-gun that I could check. I could get up at two in the morning and do the reading, but that wasn't a done deal.

Anyway, I think that I need a playlist to combat these moods. One can't always get up in the middle of the night and run to check the glue gun or do a week's worth of World History reading or dash off to the emergency room.

Sometimes, you need to sleep.

Maybe one of these days I'll get a good night sleep. Perhaps on the airplane back.

Perhaps not.

Love always,

Clara

four days until i leave, and this is what i've got

Things found in one of my college suitcases:

1. No fewer than four scarves
2. Hooker boots
3. Several white T shirts
4. A leopard print Snuggie (tm)
5. A little globe. (It's blue!)
6. Some anarchist art
7. My Mclean Youth Lacross windbreaker from sixth grade.

Still the only windbreaker I own. I can't imagine how big that must have been on my 6th-grade self.

I feel like college is a joke.

A very funny one, at that.

Love always,

Clara

not even if it were in malibu!

I tried to explain the premise of The Purity Myth to Grace last night.

I'm not sure I got anywhere.

Now I'm at home wondering what to do with myself. I'm organizing a night out tomorrow night, so that's something, but right now I'm at home telling my parents that no, I wouldn't like to play cards with them, actually.

Obviously, in my spare time I talk to David about political issues.

Me
and you know the area around ground zero isn't all hallowed ground anyway
David
sometimes i think there should be stimulus spending for cocktails
Me
there's a strip club on the same block
and GOOD IDEA
boost the economy AND calm everyone down
David
are you saying strip clubs are not hallowed ground?????????????????

We are such serious pundits. There is definitely a talk show career for the both of us somewhere out there.

Now we're discussing the fact that he didn't end up going to Pepperdine.

David
im still sad i am not living in malibu though, but i realized it would be like going to rehab for 4 years
Me
i'd rather not go to rehab
even if it WERE in malibu
David
thats like amy whinehouse, only polite rich girl remix
Me
hahahaha
David
"i'd rather not go to rehab even if it were in malibu no no no!"

David comes up with the greatest song lyrics. Here's a list.

Reasons David should be a Lyricist:

1. "I aborted my crush on you! hoo hoo hoo!"
2. "Blame it on the ve-e-e-e-e-eggie cheese!"
3. "i'd rather not go to rehab even if it were in malibu no no no!"

David should put this blog post on his resume because I am recommending so many professions for him.

Kyle

i totally walked past your house today

That's not creepy at all.

Love always,

Clara

real live humans

It's been a wonderful day for a skype-chat. I'm telling Mackenzie about our crazy house-guests.

Me: They're like, real live humans now, not just random fetuses.

Mackenzie just found out that her campus is dry, and fairly serious about it, but not too serious, thankfully.

Me: At least you're not going to Brigham Young.

Mackenzie: What?

Me: The mormon university?

Mackenzie: Oh. I thought you said Bring-Him-Yum. Like, bring him the goods. I was like... what?

She would.

On an unrelated note, tonight at dinner, we got into a conversation about Star Wars with the "real live humans".

Me: Are the Jedi humans though? I'm not really sure.

Addison: They are, they are! Um... but... they are but they aren't.

Me: Exactly.

Someone gave us a flamboyant Bern-themed flask. It's got Bern-pride tassels and a Bern bear and Bern colors everywhere. I kind of want to bring it to college with me, as the requisite swiss-paraphernalia.

Mom is not sure that this is a good idea.

I think it's a great idea.

I could just put it in my dorm room and admire it from a distance. It could go right next to my globe and my postcards because I am just so international.

I hope I don't become obsessed with my world travels.

It seems likely, unfortunately.

Mackenzie: My singing lumberjack man... the man of my dreams.

I can't even comment on that.

Love always,

Clara

things that make me smile

This seems like a valid and worthwhile exercise.

• Proper grammar.
• Marina and the Diamonds
• Postcards (but not sending them)
• Pretty photography
• Ellie Goulding
• Being obsessed with my music statistics on last.fm (link on the right, for the curious)
• There's this bouncy ball that my boss had on her desk and I've stolen it and now it's on my desk and I play with it when my attention span crashes and burns (as it tends to do)
• My iPhone
• When grown women read Twilight as if it were some kind of legitimate literature
• Coleridge
• Keats
• Kerouac
• Camus
• Alliterations that make me sound perhaps more intellectual than I am
• "Indeed." "Indeed what?" "Indeed speaks for itself!" "Oh? And what does it have to say?"
• An Alaskan Silverwolf typing up a quick confidentiality agreement on his treehouse iMac
• Little Weirdo stories
• Big dogs
• Little dogs
• Chili dog
• Wikipedia
• Beans on toast, and the associations this snack now has
• Naked romps that lead to jail (Buy yourself some clothes at a rummage sale! Naked plans lead to epic fails!)

I acknowledge that this list probably stopped making sense about halfway through.
That's okay. This is my blog and I don't have to be comprehensible if I don't feel like it.

Love always,
Clara

um guys packing is hard

So I just started legitimately packing. I've managed to fit probably half my wardrobe into one pink (monstrous) suitcase. I'm impressed by my ability to increase the density of my apparel.

Speaking of things that are only impressive to me, check out my ability to make packing skills sound like some kind of scientific achievement!

I'm not sure about this whole college thing. Packing my clothes sort of reminded me that it would in fact be me going to Brown in twelve days, and not some idealized super-capable future version of myself. If this college-attending person is wearing my clothes, she's probably me.

The problem is that I can't visualize it. Every time I picture college, I picture myself alone in my room, without friends, without any involvement in anything, and without good grades, trying to watch Gossip Girl and pretend life isn't happening.

I know this is preposterous.

I managed to make friends this year (after a few, shall we say, false starts), and I was probably involved in every extracurricular group short of the basketball team (and, I was involved with a member of the basketball team, and I think that counts). And hey, my grades were good enough to get me into Brown in the first place.

So obviously I'm not a friendless boring sloth in real life.

But I have this horrible irrational fear that I will become an incredibly drab person as soon as I arrive at this wonderful place.

Anyone else freaking out?

Love always,

Clara

P.S. The weird part about this is that I know at least a couple future classmates of mine read this, and hopefully I'll develop something of an audience once I get to college.

What if they eventually read this post and become aware of my insecurities? Heaven forbid.

These are the paranoid thoughts I have. Hi, future classmates.

gotta get my shit together gotta gather my shit

I downloaded some new music today.

Nothing But Change, Pt. 2 - Harlem Shakes

Challengers - The New Pornographers

A Message - Coldplay

Signs - Bloc Party

Slow Show - The National

Warning Sign - Coldplay

Not a huge load, but I'm a fan of all of it, and that's what matters, right?

Our houseguests are freaking me out.

They're wonderful people, really. My mom's old assistant (from an absurdly long time ago) is here with her husband and three young daughters, all of whom are completely adorable, by the way.

The issue is, when I was about twelve, I sort of semi-babysat for them, as a summer job. She was pregnant with her youngest. Her oldest was three.

Now, this girl whom I knew only as a baby bump is six years old. The oldest is nine! And they're all adorable and charming.

What the hell?!

In other news, I've been in Switzerland for a year today.

Also, I leave for America in ten days.

I need to start packing...

Love always,

Clara

we should all be more like bananas

I was reading the back of my cereal box this morning (as I tend to do), and came across this line--

"We should all be more like bananas."

Apparently bananas have the ideal lifestyle, and we should aspire to be more like them.

I hadn't realized this was the case.

Didn't bananas cause some serious civil unrest in South America?

Not sure I want to be like a banana.

Yesterday I skyped with David. When he's at his summer house, he tends to skype with me from his bathroom for various architectural reasons.

Me: David!

David: Yep, here I am, in a dimly lit room, sitting on the toilet. You know how I roll.

He had some pretty funny stories about girls with dry hair and kids who are just discovering parties and being a high-class chauffeur. Then we talked about America's problems. It was awesome.

I've got to go, because I'm only on chapter 8 of my current Pretty Little Liars book, and I want to know what's going to happen next.

Love always,

Clara

cool photo, yeah?

the lights that turn me into stone, originally uploaded by csb324.

I just really like this picture and wanted to post it.
Yeah I took that.

Love always,
Clara

i'm so itchy

I got probably a million bug bites today.

Now I'm debating whether to go to work tomorrow. I probably should. I have things to do there.

Today I brought Chili to work. I decided he and I both needed some excitement.

He, of course, ended up sitting on the floor under my desk, bored out of his mind. I told him, welcome to office life. He made this horribly sad whining noise.

I agreed.

Now I'm talking to Chris. I'm not sure why I do that.

Me
yeah i color outside the lines too
i'm a crazy badass like that
Chris
colouring outside the lines is a sign of incompetence
Me
i'm post-competent
Chris
not bad-assness
post-competent?
Me
like, post-structuralist? or post-modern?
like, i've gone through the "competent" phase and now i've moved on to "post-competent"
Chris
like door-post?
Me
post-morality?
Chris
or fence-post
or even better
post-man
Me
(i am literally shaking my head right now)
Chris
post-card

Like... wow.

He doesn't realize that he's basically an existentialist. I've tried to explain it to him.

I spend a lot of time explaining things like existentialism and Freud and the passive-perfect-participle to the kids here. They don't seem to be absorbing much of it.

Except Simone. He's really absorbing this Freud business. I think it haunts him a little bit.

Earlier I was talking to Chris about leeches. How we get onto these topics is so beyond me.

Chris: Leeches suck.

Me: Literally!

Chris: No, figuratively.

Me: That was a pun. I was really proud of it...

Chris: Oh.

I can't wait to go to a place where people understand when they're being existentialist and will put up with my puns. I sure hope Brown is that place. I feel like it will be.

Love always,

Clara

stories of romeo

I ran into Percy's brother Romeo the other day and we had a priceless encounter that I really can't repeat here. Romeo is 14.

I'm talking to Percy now.

Percy

romeo is crazy

Clara

romeo is hilar

adi would have been like "oh hi whatever" but romeo was like "OHHHHHHH"

Percy

yea

hes just funny

one time my parents came home late

and he was standing right in front of the fridge

and like 2 am

and they are like what are you doing

?

and he says

im taking my medicine

but he was making toast

Clara

hahahahahahahahahaha

We generally run into one of Percy's brothers when we go to the pool, because they live around there.

Apparently Romeo has asked the same 8th grade girl out maybe three or four times. He will grow up to be relentless like his brother, although, by the looks of it, less successful.

Went shopping today. Wasn't I just thinking about how I have far too much clothing? Whatever. I bought very practical things like soft v neck shirts and dark wash jeans (because obviously I don't have enough of those).

(But really. All of my dark wash jeans lose their darkness after a couple months. Mom theorized that I wash them too much, but I really don't! Generally I'll wear jeans a few times before I wash them)

I also packed a suitcase of things for college. They're things I won't see until October (long story involving not-going-home-until-christmas), but it's a step.

That's what I've been up to.

Love always,

Clara

last night

i get knocked down, originally uploaded by csb324.

I spent almost the whole time taking sweet pictures like this one.

Love always,
Clara

some songs

I bought some songs!

Jump In the Pool - Friendly Fires

Black & Blue - Miike Snow

Always Like This - Bombay Bicycle Club

I Don't Know What to Do - Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson

Green Eyes - Coldplay

Let Your Love Grow Tall - Passion Pit

Runaway - The National

Ready to Start - Arcade Fire

Mine - Taylor Swift

I don't know why it took me this long to download Jump In the Pool. I sing it in my head every time I jump into a pool, or someone else jumps into a pool, or someone even tangentially mentions swimming pools.

Also, my love for TSwift will never die.

Love always,

Clara

i like being smacked around a little bit.

I went out tonight and took a million cool pictures. I learned how to drag the shutter all by myself, using the power of logic and absolutely no outside instruction.

I was very proud.

Totally stole the concept from Ella B (who obviously invented it). I've been stalking her photos on facebook because apparently she went to super-cool-photo-camp.

Anyway, I felt the need to disclose that.

Amelia: Cacy's drunk! She says her poodle has bunions!

Cacy: That's a lie! I don't even have a poodle!

We went to the park and spun people around on these playground toys. I mostly photographed.

Now I'm skyping with David. He's telling me about a pretty sad attempt at being served underage. The girl would, upon being asked for ID, pretend she had no idea what was going on.

David: So I was like, did you want the waitress to think you were already retarded, so she couldn't damage you any further with some alcohol?

David: So after she'd been smacked around by the waves a bit, she decided it was too much for her. I think that's the fun part though.

Me: Yeah, I like being smacked around a little bit.

It's true. There are very few things I enjoy more than going into the ocean and getting knocked around by nature.

I really should go to bed now though. I've got work tomorrow.

David's telling me about wordplay though, and I'm finding it hard to drag myself away.

David: So here's the mad sick nasty wordplay. I mean, I don't want to build it up too much. It's just wordplay.

That's wordplay, bitches.

Love always,

Clara

russian winnie the pooh!

The degree to which I enjoyed this is almost embarrassing.

Not that I speak russian or anything. But it was (for the most part) not that hard to figure out what was going on.

Love always,

Clara

P.S. At 1:52, when the fishes jump? I giggle every time!

simone meets freud meets my mother

Kyle and I tried to explain Freud to Simone last night.

That went well.

Simone: That fucking guy is so fucked, man!

Somehow, being told that he secretly wanted to get nasty with his own mother didn't go over so well. I can't imagine why.

I was actually out with my cousin and his harem of Georgia boys last night, but they decided to go in early and watch Zoolander. I wasn't going to question that decision; Zoolander is unquestionably one of the greatest movies of the last twenty years. I wasn't in the mood for an early night though, so I stayed out a bit longer.

This resulted in extreme judgment from my mother. What else is new?

I really don't know what her issue is lately. I'm sure she or some other family member will read this and have their own comments, and I welcome that below (see: Comments). She's spent the past few months being as judgmental as humanly possible, perhaps in a misguided attempt to preserve my 16 year old self before I go to college. I'm not sixteen though, and I don't think she would actually ask me to regress if I asked her explicitly.

Dad has said that she's just worried because I'm going to college and she won't be around to monitor my activities anymore. I'm of the opinion, naturally, that she's in no position to monitor my activities anyway, seeing as I'm legally an adult, and I have pretty good judgment anyway.

I've made far more good decisions than bad ones. They should all trust me by now.

But, for whatever reason, she doesn't.

This is bothering me.

Back to Freud.

In the Oedipus Complex, the child in question feels that to become powerful, he must overthrow the current dictator, his father. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that this is what's going on right now. My mother thinks she should be the one calling the shots for me, and I'm going to reject that.

(I would call that an Electra Complex, but I really don't want to get penis envy involved in any of this)

Anyway, that's been my life lately.

Love always,

Clara

i'm so judgmental (?!)

I've realized something startling about myself.
I am really judgmental in one particular area.
I'd always considered myself a pretty easy-going non-judgmental person. To each his own, right?
Apparently I've been lying to myself. Because if someone is walking around with an "@yahoo.com" email address, I'm going to assume they're a fourth grader. And if you still have a "@aol.com" address that you use on a regular basis, I want you to know that you don't have to pay for dial up anymore, so it's okay to switch. And if your email address in any way references tigger, and you're on my spouse-list, I'm going to wonder who you are and why you're doing this to yourself.

I'm an email-address bitch.

I just spent fifteen minutes plugging email addresses into my contact list so that I can inform the spouses about things when my boss is gone, and I spent the whole time judging people. I've found that the only email addresses I respect are ones that end in "@gmail.com" or ".gov". I suppose I would also respect a ".edu", but I didn't see any of those so I'm going to say that's irrelevant.

Why do so many people use yahoo? Or hotmail?
Gmail is so much better! Come on, guys! Join the 21st century! We're a whole decade into the 2000s! You do not need to be using Yahoo!

I may make this my new personal cause-- to spread the word of Gmail and convert the heathens. Wish me luck.

Love always,
Clara

living arrangements!

I know where I'm living next year!

And it's a cool place!

And I know with whom I'm living too!

Hooray!

Such a good mood. I checked my email at chris's house, because I'm a freak, and all the info was there. I'm living on Keeney quad, which is full of freshman and apparently really lively, and my roommate is from Massachusetts and her name is Genevieve and she likes Passion Pit. That's basically all I know about her, because she hasn't accepted my facebook friend request yet.

I also sent her an email.

Perhaps I'm a little too enthusiastic.

I should calm down.

This is so exciting though.

So exciting that it's kept me up 45 minutes past my bedtime. I should really sleep at some point, preferably soon.

I started rambling to Chris and his brother about the importance of mini-fridges for the purpose of buying little iced coffees and keeping them cold.

Me: So, if I want an iced coffee in the morning instead of a proper breakfast, I can take it from my mini fridge and not have to buy one! It's so useful!

Chris: *looks at me as if I am mad*

Me: It's a normal thing to do! Andrew, you're in college. Isn't keeping iced coffees in your mini fridge a normal thing to do, if you like iced coffee?

Andrew: What? I don't know. I mostly kept beer in mine freshman year.

Me: Oh... my country doesn't really let you do that...

I was serious about the iced coffee. Also, diet coke. I'd really only like a mini-fridge for the purpose of keeping my caffeine chilled.

I love college already.

Love always,

Clara

wooosh!

Okay, I'm home and sort of rested.
Let's talk about europe.

Best vacation ever. Paris was gorgeous. We went to museums and went shopping and avoided most of the touristy areas. And we cooked. I made bruscetta. Eleni and I ran around with false identities calling everyone grapefruits. It was awesome.
Then we went to Berlin and became obsessed with their traffic-man, the Ampelmann. I bought some art from this anarchist community in an abandoned warehouse. We ate currywurst. I discovered that canadians are strangely drawn to me. Not sure what that's about, but it's a bit alarming.
The train from Berlin to Prague was a mess but we made it and that's what's important. Prague is absolutely beautiful. We went to a castle and a bar crawl and a classical music concert. We came back to our hotel room and ate breakfast cake with nutella.
Three short flights later we're in Santorini, in the back of a taxicab with a madman, with whom I was probably rude. Worth it. We discuss my entitlement. I would say "entitlement issues" but I don't see any issue with thinking I deserve not to be killed in the back of a taxi or be overcharged for margharitas or forced to stand on a public bus. If all the seats are taken, fine, but if there are free seats, who says anyone else deserves to sit any more than I do?
We swim in the water. We go to a volcano. We swim in hot springs. We take naps, we take busses, we learn to like tomatoes. That last one was just me.
I walk into a potted plant. That's what you get for trying to walk and text at the same time.

All the while, we're reading Pretty Little Liars out loud, reading epic lines like "Hanna's adam's apple bobbed" and "Rain made Aria think of rainy days" and "woosh!"
We are entertained.

Now I'm home and I'm actually at work.
Promise me that if I ever begin to think a job in an office sounds like fun, you will all find me and smack me and redirect me to these recent blog posts. It's all bitterness and bitchiness and obsession with protocol. And I am not a fan.

Yesterday I went for coffee with Chris because I needed to get out of the house. I'm in this state of mind that I'm an independent person, and being in my home just puts me in the jurisdiction of people whom I don't need. Being out of the house means I'm on my own.
I leave for college in 22 days though.
I really need that.

Love always,
Clara

home, and just in time

I promise, you will get a full fledged eurotrip-recap-blog-post tomorrow. Possibly even complete with pictures.

But right now, I'm home, and I'm going to run out and meet the swiss kids for August 1st (the Swiss 4th of July) celebrations in about thirty minutes, and my hair is still wet.

However, I'm back in my own room. I'm wearing clean clothes for possibly the first time in weeks. I took a really long shower. So I'm in a really good mood.

Love always,

Clara

in greece :)

In a tourist place with internet. I've got eight minutes left on my euro's worth of time, so this will be brief.
The rest of us are checking out ancient Fira, but I was/am exhausted and decided my morning would be better spent asleep on the beach. Which was awesome, by the way, but now I'm covered in sweat and plan to take a long shower at the end of this eight minutes.

Greek food is awesome. Everything is honey and yogurt and nuts and pastry things. Or it's tomatoes and feta and olive oil. I love all of those things! Curiously, I've been wholeheartedly converted to the camp of tomato-loving people. Curious because, until this trip, I've mostly hated tomatoes. They were weirdly juicy. But I've just had so many fantastic tomato-based experiences over here that I have to change my allegiance.
And that's serious business right there.

I'm reading Bonk right now, which is a book about sex, but from a scientific standpoint. I've read about artificially inseminating pigs and the methods used to study sex in the 1950s and sex inside MRI machies and more. Also reading Lolita.
I guess either of these books on their own would be pretty normal, but together there's a certain theme. According to the contents of my bag, I'm a pervert.

NetCredit is freaking out at me. I should go. But all is well from greece and I'll be home again on August 1.

Love always,
Clara

hi there!

I'm sitting in an internet cafe (read internet-basement-of-a-convenience-store). Figured I'd check in.

The past week or so has been awesome. Yesterday we spent 8 hours on trains but passed the time reading Pretty Little Liars out loud. That's a fantastic book, by the way.

Not much time!
Au revoir, Pomplemoose!

Love always,
Clara

packing

It's hard to commit to carrying three weeks worth of clothes on your back. At least on the Camino there was no expectation to look good. On my trip, I don't think that will be the case.

I think I might finally be finished though. Hooray for that. Packing inexplicably wears me out so now I'm trying to put together an awesome traveling playlist.

I was trying to download a bunch of new music, but that is for some reason incredibly difficult lately. I'm so indecisive about music and I've just go this feeling that all of the songs that I love are already on my iPod.

So that got frustrating and then I remembered that I still have that big folder of music that Thomas sent me, so I took another bunch of songs from there. I'm not sure whether they're summer songs because I haven't listened yet, but here's a sampling.

I'll Hold My Breath - Ellie Goulding

Lights - Ellie Goulding

Salt Skin - Ellie Goulding

Your Biggest Mistake - Ellie Goulding

Oh No! - Marina and the Diamonds

Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons

Eat That Up, It's Good for You - Two Door Cinema Club

Hermit the Frog - Marina and the Diamonds

The Outsider - Marina and the Diamonds

Re: Stacks - Bon Iver

Stranger - Noah and the Whale

Team - Bon iver

Thistle & Weeds - Mumford & Sons

Undercover Martyn - Two Door Cinema Club

What You Know - Alessi's Ark

In other news, I'll be absent until August 1st. Maybe August 2nd. I might stop in and blog if we find an internet cafe or something. If I don't, it's because I'm too busy being a backpacker, or because I've been kidnapped and sold into sex slavery.

Love always,

Clara

i went and jumped off a bridge last night

I've been kept up late hearing Camino stories from Katie, Eleni, and Cath.

The Camino sounds hilarious, strenuous, stressful, inspring, and mostly exhausting. Which is why we didn't go clubbing tonight as planned, but instead watched "Taken" with my parents and ate chinese food and sat around my dining room table and chatted.

Mom legitimately told my dad to go out and buy "Taken" so that we could watch it before we left. As an educational experience or something. A two-hour-long-educational-experience-with-drugs-and-guns.

Me: Look at Mom, so pleased with herself. She's like "and that's why you should stay in switzerland for the next three weeks!"

Mom: And don't swim in the Aare!

Me: Because there are Albanians in the Aare! With heroin!

The Aare, by the way, is a river. And while I'm sure that sometimes there are Albanian immigrants swimming in the river (because it's quite the Swiss sumer activity), they have no interest in kidnapping any of us or selling us into sex slavery.

Today I did swim in the Aare. I jumped off a bridge into the river and it was probably the greatest half-second of my life. For the record, I did check to be sure the water was deep enough, and I knew I was a strong enough swimmer to take on the current. I'm a safe river-swimmer.

Danny and I were supposed to go at the same time, actually.

Me: Danny, have you never jumped before either?

Danny: No.

Me: We can have our first times together!

Danny: Um...

So he says, "On three..." and I'm freaking out and Chris is behind us. And Danny jumps. And we have to go down in a group because swimming in the river alone is another unsafe thing. So I'm like, "shit, I have to go, because otherwise I'm stuck without the group and/or Danny's by himself and neither of those are good.

So I jump.

Best half-second ever.

Love always,

Clara

P.S. Bonus points to those who got the Eddie From Ohio reference in here.

frogging, flogging, and blogging

Go Spain!

I have no idea how to properly cheer for a soccer game. I really have gotten into the whole soccer deal, but I'm not a pro yet. I can be heard shouting things like "KICK THAT BALL, SPANYARD!" and "NO, DON'T KICK, BITCHES!"

I think the problem is that people don't really do anything other than kick in soccer. Or I just don't know enough about soccer to distinguish the differences between kicks.

Thomas: America is awesome at everything. [rolls eyes]

Me: Thomas! You're my new favorite!

Thomas: What? Oh, clearly you didn't see my eye roll.

Me: Oh. Well, it's what I heard that counts.

Thomas: You would like me a lot better if you were blind.

This sent me into hysterics, of course. Thomas might still be my new favorite, regardless of the eye-roll.

It's up for debate. I'm still not sure who my old favorite was, so it may be hasty to choose a new favorite already.

I've been into this new thing where I threaten to flog people. It's really useful in a lot more situations than you would think. As I learned with Peter, if something is giving you trouble, hit it with a hammer.

Anyway, this new tendency has gotten me into a bit of trouble, because no one understands me when I speak. They think I'm saying I want to "frog" them. "Frogging" has somehow taken on a sexual connotation. How that happened is a mystery.

Me: Danny, I told you not to eat the chips! I will flog you!

Danny: No, don't frog me! I'm still sore from last time you frogged me!

You see how this can get out of hand very quickly.

Flogging people is one of the best ways I know to express myself though.

Sometimes, people just need to be flogged.

Thomas: Are you going to blog about blogging about me saying that you were going to blog me, about blogging?

How am I supposed to not blog that?

Love always,

Clara

yikesss

I like my job.

I do.

Really.

However, something about the government and the standards there just don't grok well with me.

It has come to my attention that my writing style is considered "irreverent".

It has also come to my attention recently that this particular style is going underappreciated in areas other than my blog.

To which I say, to hell with that.

Fuck reverence.

I mean, I suppose reverence as a general concept is worth holding onto in society, for certain circumstances (see: childbirth, pretty sunsets, the president if he's in the room).

But reverence for the sake of reverence because the lack of reverence would be considered inappropriate? That's circular!

I hope to never work in an office. Everything is catty and messy and I want to write a big expose on all of the scandals (OMG someone borrowed our copy of that travel book without asking) except knowing me, it would be irreverent, and that won't do.

No one can step on anyone's toes, but everyone's toes are stepped upon.

And now my toes feel sore.

And I have to watch myself.

And I hate that.

I'm clumsy. I walk into things, people, if it's there, I'll probably stumble upon it somehow. And I've taken this trait and incorporated it into my persona, my affect, my unescapable Clara-ness that would be very difficult to reverse at this point in the game.

I believe I've been known to say too much and maybe that's what I'm doing now.

All of this is just proving to me that I'm not cut out for a traditional career of any kind. Anyone know any non-traditional careers that I might enjoy that would definitely without a shadow of a doubt keep me out of office life forever?

That would be awesome, thanks.

Daphna
I spent like an he subwayibf caarilus places
ok that was ibxomprehendible

I just talked to Daphna on AIM. If it helps her case, she was typing from an iPod Touch.

Love always,

Clara

differences between me and spain

Oren: Are you still alive?

Me: Yes

Oren: That's good. It's a good day to be alive.

Thanks for that, Oren.

Another gem from tonight-

Me: My friends are walking through Spain.

Someone: In the mountains?

Me: No I think it's pretty flat.

Chris: Unlike Clara.

... later...

Oren: You're flat honest.

Me: I'M NOT FLAT.

These are the facts. I'm not flat, but Spain is, in some parts.

Me: Everyone at this school is weird as shit.

Oren: Including you.

Me: Yeah, I include myself in that.

Oren is trying to make the case that this school turns people crazy. I disagree. I was pretty insane before I got here.

Me: I will flog you.

Love always,

Clara

things found while clearing off my bed

• A computer chip
• Five (5) programs for Potomac Graduation
• A photocopy of my insurance card
• My diploma
• Four (4) science-related magazines
• A dinner knife

To which I say... what the fuck?

My bedroom is a disaster zone right now.

Hopefully I can somewhat get my shit together before the beginning of epic-euro-trip-2010, which is going to be fantastic, by the way, if you were wondering.

Non-sequitur: I am always hungry.

Love always,

Clara

chili dog

chili dog, originally uploaded by csb324.

This post might as well be called, "I am exhausted and simply cannot blog tonight and will probably pass out as soon as I click 'POST,' if I even make it that far."

In lieu of my witty commentary on things, I present to you, a picture of my dog.

He is also very witty.

Love always,
Clara

go fish

We played Go Fish tonight.

I have not played such a rigorous game of Go Fish since I was in third grade.

Five guys, two decks of cards, only seven 9s, and one Clara.

Honestly the only insight into this evening that I feel qualified to give is a series of quotes-without-much-context. Any further analysis would be overreaching and would probably mar the purity of the event.

(That's my way of saying, "I'm a lazy blogger tonight, because I'm tired, and these quotes are pretty funny.")

Simone: Gimme your bitch, your queen.

Peter: It's dry now, just all sticky and stuff.

(I believe he had spilled Pepsi on his hand, but who can say for sure?)

Simone: Clara, do you have any bitches?

Me: So many. However, none of the kind you want. Fish.

Kyle: There's my king, there's my dude.

Kyle: All Simone has is bitches.

Simone did end up with a lot of bitches, and by that I mean queens, and by that I mean wow, Go Fish is a really fantastic game.

Love always,

Clara

exhausted

Oh. My. God.

I'm beginning to think that 4th of July is my new favorite holiday.

Today was ridiculous in twelve different ways.

1. I spent three hours theoretically "at work" doing almost nothing, due to some sort of miscommunication between Boss and I.
2. Peter demanded that I donate my presence to the cause of his happiness,* so I had lunch with him.
3. Pictures from the past few nights went up on facebook, which is always entertaining, especially in regards to nights like the last few.
4. I mingled like a boss at the Independence Day event, making witty charming comments about the weather, as if I had been born to have these sorts of pointless conversations.
5. There were bunnies in my front yard.
6. I introduced some co-workers to some very pretty girls, because I am a good person.
7. Someone who called himself a "Rock-Jazz Pianist" was in my living room, and was the source of the most phenomenal sounds I have ever heard from a piano.
8. At the dinner following this event, karma proved herself to me.
9. I drank something called a "libertini"
10. Every question anyone ever had about the internet or social media or documentary film or soccer or Brown University was answered at my table.
11. I managed to get through a vaguely messy dinner without marring the whiteness of my graduation dress.
12. There was a dance party in my living room.

*People should use that sentence construction more often. As if my presence were a gift, and his happiness, a charity.

And now I'm wiped out. Actually, I was wiped out two hours ago, but Blythe made me keep dancing. She also steals people's sneezes. That deviant.

Love always,

Clara

holding my tongue

I'm chilling with Peter and Chris, the embassy brothers productive.

Peter: That was great. Me and Thomas found that.
Me: Thomas and I. No one speaks engilsh here.
Chris: Well people make that mistake in America too.
Me: At my old school, we were all sort of pretentious and we'd correct each other's grammatical errors. I've been holding my tongue all year. I can't do it anymore.
Chris: So... up until this point... you've been quiet?

Fair enough. I'd been holding my tongue about grammatical errors. My tongue had been pretty unrestrained regarding almost anything else.

Well that last sentence sounded strangely suggestive-slash-creepy.

Love always,
Clara

tumbling

Me: I'm starting a tumblr blog.
Peter: Do you tumble?
Me: Yeah it's like rolling down a hill, on the internet.
Peter: Oh. Ew.
Me: Are you saying you don't enjoy rolling down hills?
Peter: Eh, I guess I did in my youth. Once the arthritis kicked in, a lot of things stopped being fun.
Me: I see.
Peter: Yeah, after seventy, everything starts to fall apart.

I am starting a tumblr blog. Don't expect much from it. In fact, I'm going to wait a month before even linking you to it because I've realized the importance of building up some basic material before showing anything off to the world.

Put that on your calenders, kids.

Love always,
Clara

hrmph.

Discoveries made today:

• I'm perceptive.
• Friends are great.
• Salito's-- also great.
• Sex and the City 2-- not great. Hot guys are great, and pretty dresses are great, but watching two hours of hot guys and pretty dresses pretending to be a movie? Not great.
• Spain is also great.
• Miscommunications are lame.
• Robert is a high-class escort service.

I do try to avoid rambling about my social life on here, but let me just have one quick moment.

So many times, something hasn't worked out for one reason or another and people have said "You can do better" or "You deserve better" or something. So why do I always end up with the same thing, which isn't better?

If I can do better, where is that better thing and why can't I get it?

Whatever though. This incident isn't an earth-shattering one, and it isn't anything for the memoirs. Yes, I've had breakups that I plan to include in my memoirs. I'd say, Will in 08 (sorry, but you knew that was going to be relevant) and Phil, also in 08 (for comedic value).

We'll see. One of those might be replaced by a later breakup if that later breakup is either funnier or more era-defining than either of those.

Love always,

Clara

a story about my childhood

Let's talk about fifth grade.

In fifth grade, I was in Ms. Jackson's class. Ms. Jackson was great. She had us do cheers for people when they got answers right. She started us off with just a basic cheer (I think it was the sprinkler), and by the end of the year, we were a professional step team. That's a lie. But it could have been true.

Charlie, on the first day of school, trying to prove how too-cool he was, asked not to have a cheer. So, Ms. Jackson, brilliant woman that she was, declared,

"All right, let us have a moment of silence for Charlie" which sent us all into hysterics.

We got some kind of weekly grade on a 1-6 scale. A four meant you did everything fine and on time, and to get a five or a six you had to do some kind of extra credit. I wanted to get a six every week, because I was just that kind of nerd in fifth grade. My extra credit projects were always pretty cool though. I made a lot of videos.

This was back when, to make a video, you had to record it on a cassette, and to edit said video, it had to do with playing that cassette back onto the television, while recording a VHS tape. Seriously. Don't think about background music or titles or any of that. It wasn't happening.

I did a few of those, which were pretty chill, but what I was most excited about was the class newspaper, The Jackson Post.

I probably wrote half of it. I think writing an article counted as extra credit, going towards my six.

For some reason I'd forgotten about this, but I used to spend hours playing with Microsoft Publisher 2003, and days putting together short documentaries with that horrible camera.

And now, what do I do all day? Play with Microsoft Publisher 2007 (welcome to the future) and take photos with Turtle the DSLR.

My life has themes. And organic unity.

I'm liking it.

Love always,

Clara

do you have money?

Honestly, let's face it: if you have a computer, you probably have $25 to spare.
You should send it here. In the next four days.
You know why?



Because I want this movie to happen. And they're doing the fundraising on Kickstart, which is probably one of the better things about the internet to date. It's a fund raising website, where you set a time limit and a goal, and people donate money, but you're only charged for your donation if they reach the goal. The goal is $10000. The deadline is the end of the month. They've got $9,500 already.
This needs to happen!

So. Donate some money?

I think this issue is an important one, to be honest. I stole The Purity Myth from Katie and it sent me on this feminist streak that's been really interesting. Society is so weird when it comes to girls and anything sexual- it's all or nothing in most cases in the media, and that's ridiculous.
This documentary looks like it could really bring all the strangeness to light.

More info from one of my favorite blogs, here.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. If you donate $25, they can send you a signed copy of the DVD. So you're basically buying a DVD in advance, but if the DVD is never made, you don't pay for it.

you're watching afn

I've been watching a lot of TV lately, basically because summer is the only season that I have the spare time.

Watching TV here necessarily means watching AFN. We have like, 15 channels, which isn't bad, but they're pretty bizarre channels. Although, as long as I can get my fill of Law and Order SVU and trashy movies (currently watching: The House Bunny), I'm solid.

The commercials are all military-interest, which means they're all low budget and fairly strange. They advertise things like army chaplains or online courses or saving water, and they use comic sans ms with zero irony.

(There is, of course, a time and a place for Comic Sans MS. That time is 2008, and the place is my AIM default font, in magenta. That is all.)

I'd say the most bizarre part of all of this though are the ads that sort of, declare the channel. You know the ones, that are like, "You're watching this channel!" which are completely redundant, by the way, because who doesn't know what channel they're watching these days?

Anyway, they have these ads that I can only describe as absurdist.

Example 1:

A man is standing far away in a field. He runs up to the camera (stationary) and, panting, says "You're watching AFN!"

Example 2:

A man in a military uniform says something incomprehensible and then says "and you're watching AFN." There's a subtitle at the bottom of the screen, and it says, "whattheheckisthisguysaying?"

Example 3:

A man (dressed in plain clothes) approaches a man in a scuba suit and asks him, "Hey, which way to the commissary?" The scuba man says, "It's just that way," and the normal man thanks him and he's on his way. And then the scuba man faces the camera and says, "You're watching AFN!"

Just try to make sense of this.

Love always,

Clara

congratulations!

OMG

Dear Clara:

Congratulations! You have been placed in the following course(s) in the
first round of the CAP/FYS lottery:

PHIL:0250:2010-Fall:S01 (Curricular Advising Program)
LITR:0110A:2011-Spring:S04 (First-Year Seminar)

Translation: I'm taking "The Meaning of Life" first semester and Fiction I second semester. And my advisor is going to be a philosophy professor. COLLEGE IS GOING TO ROCK.

Love always,

Clara

out tonight

That's where I went.

Actually, first I went to work.

Then I went home for all of ten minutes.

Then I went to the pool, and got lost on the way there, because some people give terrible directions. I asked for help from a Swiss woman.

Me: Scuzi, wo ist... muribad? aarebad?

Woman: Oh! Yes, straight ahead, and to the left!

My german is so unconfident these days. I need to get back into shape. That is, if german constitutes physical activity (and have you heard those consonants?).

The pool was fun. The water was freezing. Robert sort of threw me in. I say "sort of" because once I knew I was going in, I just jumped in. I'd rather enter the swimming pool on my own terms, thanks.

Then a bunch of us walked down the river a bit and grilled. This sounds like a poorly thought out plan, because it was, but it was also fantastic. Kajus had a bunch of chicken, Matt brought a bratwurst, and Chris had a couple small (but delicious) steaks.

Essentially, what guys think when they think "Let's go grilling!" they think, "What do we need? Meat and flame."

Things such as tongs, plates, silverware, any food other than raw meat, or even a proper grilling surface were considered completely unnecessary. Thank goodness heat kills germs, because there was probably a lot of nature happening* on that outdoor grill thing near the river.

So we lit a fire under this grilling surface, because Kajus is the fire-master, and discussed all that is life, and I was the only girl there (which you know I relish).

Then we headed into town and chilled.

And watched the game, which was kind of sad. I wish Switzerland had made it further, if only because I like the drama of being in a country where people care and the team is doing well. I wish I'd been here when we beat Spain.

Anyway, it was a great night. I need to get film for Diana Mini, because I feel like she would be a good companion on these nights. She's got a flash.

We saw a Danish flag somewhere.

Thomas: It's a Danish flag!

Me: I honestly wouldn't have known that.

Thomas: What? Clara, I thought you were smart!

Me: I know, I'm ashamed. I'm not good with flags.

Thomas: I love Denmark!

Me: Me too! I'm going there this summer! I'm going to Copenhagen!

Thomas: That's awesome!

Me: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Thomas: What? That's insulting!

Me: It's shakespeare!

That basically sums up this night.

Love always,

Clara

*Yeah, that's right, nature happens. It's an event.

alexander graham bell

This is a real conversation that took place while the kids were playing soccer. Emily and I were TOTALLY HELPING (and by that I mean, standing on the field, having a conversation).

Oren: Oi!

Me: People don't really say oi in America...

Emily: Kyle says 'Ahoy' to me. On Facebook chat.

Me: Did you know that Alexander Graham Bell wanted people to say 'Ahoy' when they answered the phone?

Kyle: (running by, playing soccer) Yes, he did!

Me: Do you think Kyle is trying to emulate Alexander Graham Bell?

Emily: Maybe. Let's ask.

Me: Kyle, do you admire Alexander Graham Bell?

Kyle: No.

Me: Kyle, do you have disdain for Alexander Graham Bell?

Kyle: No. I have nothing for Alexander Graham Bell.

Me: So you're apathetic toward Alexander Graham Bell?

Kyle: Alexander Graham Bell is nothing to me.

Me: That sounds like disdain!

Kyle: No!

... Later ...

Me and Emily: Ahoy!

Love always,

Clara

remember the light across the sky

remember the light across the sky, originally uploaded by csb324.

Is this not gorgeous?

Today was cool. I've come to the conclusion that my job is awesome.

Also, the ISB kids got their yearbooks today! Is that not the greatest thing you have ever heard? I am so thrilled. It looks beast.
I flip through it and I can tell who designed each page. Like, some are straight Mariam, and some have Halima written all over them.

And then there are mine. Which are all over the place, by the way, because I spent an absurd amount of time working on the yearbook.

They cut out a lot of the text, which is probably ok because no one really reads it anyway. Struck me as interesting though.

The reason I know this is that I went to school today at like, five. Why? No reason really. Chris called and was like "Come to school" and I didn't really have anything better to do.
It was fun. Emily and I played soccer with the guys. We were Team Awesome.

Anyone: [scores goal]
Us: Yeah, that's us! Team Awesome! Another point for Team Awesome!

It was the pinnacle of intensity.

Now I'm going to eat tortellini and play guitar.

Sorry the blog's been a bit mundane. My life's been a bit mundane in the greatest way possible. I'm long overdue for some kind of incredibly awkward experience though, so keep reading. I promise, it's coming.

Love always,
Clara

ipad: useful for reading boobs

Yesterday was fun. I've decided this summer is going to be fantastic. I don't know why it took me so long to come to this conclusion, but I'm glad that I have, and I think that's all that matters really.

There was a water fight at school, so I turned up to take some pictures, which didn't turn out quite as well as I had hoped. It's hard to catch the action, interestingly enough, when thirty kids are running around a blacktop with water balloons and you're trying to stay out of the splash zone.

Then I hung out for a bit, since I didn't have much else to do.

Chris was around, but he had basketball practice, so he sort of had an excuse to be there (unlike the rest of us).

Chris: What are you guys still doing here? Don't you have lives?

Me: Well, it's chill out here or go home and play with my dog.

Anine: Yeah, it's chill here or go home and play with mySELF!

[weird looks are exchanged all around]

I don't remember what they (Emily and Anine) are theoretically pointing at in this picture. I just remember that they wanted to make that face.

Hm. Very questionable.

Then I came home and talked to David. He has successfully captured his father's iPad.

David
AND its how i want to read the newspaper next year, which means I won't have to ask for a weekend subscription to the nytimes for my birthday
THRIFTINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me
hahaha
ipad=thrifty
David
AND i will read boobs on it!
BOOKS
Me
hahahahahahahahahahahaha

b and k aren't even near each other on the keyboard. I really don't know where he was going with that.

Love always,

Clara

P.S. Google Analytics tells me how people arrive at this site, and I'm hoping some really bizarre search terms lead to this post.

i didn't take this photo

In fact, it's definitely not a photo at all.
It's one of Nick Cueva's profile pictures.
And it cracks me up like no other.

I just took a 4 hour nap and missed like, 3 phone calls, and completely screwed up my sleep cycle. Now Mom is calling me for like the fourth time and I'm not answering. Yes Mom I know you're reading this. Mom, I ignored your call because I am tired and your calling kept waking me up and now I resent your telephone presence.
Ohhh snap.

Now I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. I really need to drop off film, but I'm fairly certain I slept past the closing time of most places. Although it's still broad daylight, at 7:18, which never fails to astound me. Late June is the greatest.

Anyway, I'm just here to raise my hands into the air and flail them about, as if there were no repercussions.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. What are the typical repercussions of raising one's hands in the air and flailing them about. What repercussions are we failing to acknowledge? That sounds like the basis for some bad policy to me.

i'm back

I knew I'd missed the swiss kids, but I hadn't realized how much I'd missed the swiss kids until today.

These kids are hilariously dysfunctional in what I consider the best way possible.

I started work today, but they didn't know what to do with me, so I theoretically left early. Except I ran into Peter, and he was like, "Want to help me smash computers?" and I was like "THERE IS NOTHING I WOULD RATHER DO"

So we smashed computers for a while. It was pretty cool- you have to mostly take them apart first, and then smash the important parts with a hammer.

Then I hurried over to school because what I've realized (speaking of dysfunctional) is that these kids could not organize themselves for coffee unless I personally escorted them to Starbucks.

Well worth it.

Thomas was having like, issues with ice.

Thomas: I don't know what to do with this! It's melting!

[someone]: Put it in your mouth.

(Thomas tries, but drops it or something)

Thomas: Who knew ice was so slippery!

Also, the greatest quote without context I have ever heard-

Chris: I wish we'd bought a hamster from the Japanese.

After coffee like, half of us left, and the other half were cool and ran through the fountain and walked down to the bear pit. The bears aren't in the pit anymore; they've got a whole hillside to wander on. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen-- a mama bear and two baby bears. They reminded me of Chilidog.

Who is sitting on the couch with me right now, by the way.

I love that dog.

Oh, also, I took a million pictures. Turtle and I are really getting along.

Love always,

Clara

"he's a handful"

Me
what a weird expression btw
"a handful"
Phil
yea like
if a child was literally a handful
if he was that tiny
he'd be easy to manage
Me
hahaha
Phil
also a handful of anything is always better than just a few
oh god put down that handful of jellybeans it must be awful
no one ever says that
Me
hahahaha
i love jellybeans
maybe if you hated jellybeans
then it would make sense
Phil
but who hates jelly beans?
Me
or like, "put down that handful of spiders!"
but no one says that either
bc we don't really measure spiders by the handful
hmmmm
Phil
ah
quite a poignant observation

Presented without comment.

Love always,
Clara

airplanes

I'm back in Bern!
In other, unrelated news, I'm jetlagged.

In other, completely and genuinely unrelated, news, I've been talking to Phil.
I'm pretty sure that when I started this blog, it was during the week or so during the summer of 08 that we called ourselves "dating" before he cheated on me at boyscout camp or something equally absurd. It's cool that I've been keeping this blog for almost two years and Phil and I are still buds.

Phil
yea i call him jbrenz
no i dont
but i wish i could
thatd be sweet
Me
hahaha
i always have nicknames for people in my head
that i don't use much in real life
but sometimes i do and people are like "wait who?"
Phil
haha
why do i feel like this happens alot to you?
Me
because i am completely and transparently dysfunctional
this should not be news

It's a fact of life, really.

So you know what is completely inexplicable? Signs at the airport, when you're on the road approaching it, saying "ARRIVALS" and "DEPARTURES". Think about it. Either you're arriving at the airport, only to depart from that city several hours later, or you just arrived at the airport, and now you need to depart. No one remains at the airport; everyone arrives and departs. So how are you supposed to know whether "ARRIVALS" means "I just arrived at the airport and am about to fly somewhere" or "A friend just arrived here, and I'm picking them up, from the airport"

I was telling dad this yesterday.

Dad: You should blog about that.
Me: I'm going to.

Love always,
Clara

fun with turtle

the house is lit up, originally uploaded by csb324.

(This picture is actually from the grad party a couple nights ago)

I've been being a camera whore all night.
We had a birthday party for Dad. My family is gigantic and wild.

Dad: I was worried mom would turn this into a surprise party, but I don't think she did. I think it's just the family.
Me: Yeah, just family. Think about how many of us there are though. It's going to be a party.

I took a billion pictures. Literally.
Or, literally, figuratively.
But don't take that figuratively!

Then we came back to my aunt and uncle's house. We were talking about college shopping.

Mom: Theresa told me how to get things from Bed Bath and Beyond. You go in with a gun...
Me: What?!
Mom: Yeah and you say "look, bitch, I want sheets."
Me: And you have a gun, so they give it to you.

Actually, what happens is you go in with this laser gun and you shoot it at things you want for college, and you do this in your local store, and then when it's time for college you can go to the Bed Bath and Beyond near your school and they say "Oh shit, it's the girl with the gun; we'd better give her what she wants!" and all the things you wanted are like, in a special room for you.

Is that not the coolest thing in the world?

These are the things that I get excited about when I haven't had enough sleep.
Et. Cetera.

Love always,
Clara.

graduation, etc.

Above: Proof that I graduated.

Yesterday.

And yet it still hasn't hit me. I definitely don't feel like a college student. Maybe I will once I get to Brown. But no promises.

In my unable-to-process-abstract-ideas mind, the highlight of the day was going out and buying a graduation present, a Nikon D5000. It is essentially the most wonderful camera in the world and I am in love with it and his name is Turtle. So we've bonded.

It's funny how some of my items have names that just immediately come to me (i.e. Turtle the DSLR, James the point&shoot, Cecilia the swiss iPhone) and some take longer (i.e. Steve the MacBook Pro, Zola the car).

Also, it's funny how much I just name-dropped awesome technology.

I think my life is several standard deviations from the mean.

So today, I was told that I had to go to the pediatrician* to get my meningitis vaccine. So I drive all the way there, only to be told that I actually got that vaccine in 2006, and I can go home. Which is a bit frustrating but not a huge deal, until there was insane traffic and construction on the way home and this entire pointless ordeal took an hour and a half out of my day.

My goodness.

Now I'm trying to pack, because we're moving in with my aunt and uncle for a couple days and then I fly back to Switzerland. Looking forward to that.

Love always,

Clara

*Am I not a little old to be going to a pediatrician? I think so.

baccawhatt?

Baccalaureate was tonight!

It was super. Mr. C. gave me a nerdy shoutout. Being the attention freak that I am, I loved it.

Wait. Rewind.

The last day of school was today. I literally sat around and signed yearbooks all day. It's hard to come up with clever things to say. I hope I erred on the side of clever and not on the side of creepy (a side with which I am not unfamiliar).

Regardless, that was fun.

Then we had that interminable assembly in the gym with the whole student body, and Yar and Marie gave awesome speeches, and IS bells played "Chasing Cars" which was surprisingly fantastic, and the band played the Harry Potter theme.

Isabella: Are they really playing Harry Potter at the closing assembly?

Me: Yep.

Isabella: It makes me want to go to Hogwarts.

I got that feeling too.

So then I got coffee and that was really great because I love coffee, and then I came back here and did whatever it was that I did, and then I went to baccalaureate. Magnifessence (Mag 7 + Quintessence - seniors = actually quite good) sang "And So It Goes" for us and I almost cried. They are amazing and I love them. Facts of life.

The dinner was pretty great as well. I wish SAGE dining services had prepared that kind of meal for us every day, throughout the four years, instead of just stepping it up when we become imminent alumni, and, thus, soon-enough-money-donators.

It can't be that hard to throw together a meal of sliders, salmon, roast beef, cheesy potatoes (I know there's a word for this), and bread rolls. And then a dessert platter with cheesecake-on-a-stick (I know, right?). They should be able to pull this together every day.

But no.

Alas.

Anyway, at some point between coffee and baccalaureate I got the worst migraine of my life, and I spent a lot of the dinner running around in some kind of headachey haze. It was wild.

Tomorrow is graduation.

Holy shit.

Love always,

Clara