interesting conversations

I bought properly waterproof shoes and now I am no longer in a bad mood. This is a good thing in and of itself, and also because I wanted to blog about the very interesting conversations I found myself involved in last night.

I'm trying to remember how it started. We were at Tea in Sahara (yes, yet again), and someone brought up religion, or philosophy, or something, I think.

Me: See, I like to have faith in something. Sometimes I imagine that before I was born, I sat down and planned out my life. So whatever happens to me, I already chose it. I don't actually believe it of course, but it's an interesting thought experiment.

Andrew: That's not a thought experiment, it's Calvinism for control freaks.

Me: Well yeah. If there's determinism, I want to be in charge.

On the walk back to campus, things took a turn for the more philosophical. We got on the topic of life-purposes and the potential of humanity (thanks, Benny). It's hard to talk about these things without sinking back into the smugness that had dominated the earlier night's conversation, but we did our best.

It turned out that the walk back to Keeney wasn't long enough for our trains of thought, so then we went to Faunce and hung out in that glass room above the arch where you can see the people walking by.

I'd describe it in more detail but honestly, I couldn't do it justice.

It was a very good conversation though. I'd say it was an infinitesimally small step towards the things that will potentially lead to things we've assumed to be good things.

This is all so inarticulate. I really wish I could be more articulate.

Love always,

Clara

irritable

Today I did not leave my room early enough to feel that I had time for a slow, relaxed breakfast, which really is something I prioritize.

It is sort of raining right now. That would be okay except that a couple days ago, I lost my hat. I do have another hat, but it would clash with what I'm wearing right now, so logic dictated that I go out without a hat, obviously.

Now my hair is wet. There were more people in the Ratty than usual; I suspect an intruding sports team. Everyone was shouting. It all put me in one of those moods when I want to murder everyone. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who gets these moods? I'm not a big fan.

Then the only place to sit was right in front of the door. I could have sat on the other side of the room, but I didn't trust myself to walk that far with my cereal, because I always spill it all over the damn place anyway, and why make it worse?

So I was cold, because the wind came in every time someone opened the door. And then I came to class, in the rain, and almost slipped on the ice, and almost died, and then Stefan asked me how I was.

And I was set on this downward spiral that is the first hour of my day. Because I've been awake for an hour.

To hell with this. I'm buying another hat today.

Love always,

Clara

meta-smugness

Yesterday, I had probably the most quintessentially Brown experience yet.

During my post- meeting, I got a text from Andrew saying that people were going to Tea in Sahara, the wonderful cafe/hookah bar that I've spent way too much time at in the past week. So when the meeting ended I called Benny and he and I walked over and met the bunch of them over there. A game of Monopoly was in progress, of course, and at the other end of the table there was a discussion of the relative merits of monotheism vs. polytheism.

Me: Who's winning?

Andrew: John.

Me: Again? Damn. Why is he good at Monopoly?

Ken: I question the moral values of anyone who is good at Monopoly.

Ken would describe himself as a communist.

A while later, the conversation then migrated to how to best run a country. We were all at a loss as to how to successfully establish a fair meritocracy. I'm of the opinion that rule by an intellectual elite would probably have the best outcome, but it would never fly in this country.

People really should want their Congressman to be smarter than they are, though.

At this point, the Monopoly game had ended, and Scott and Audrey had started a game of chess. Then we started talking about what a diverse group of people we were. And it occurred to us that we were sitting in a cafe, smoking hookah, discussing how we would run a country, while playing chess.

Then we started discussing our own smugness.

Only at Brown.

Love always,

Clara

hung

David: So I called my mom to try to convince her to pay for some of it, and she was like "you don't need another jacket," which is true, but also irrelevant. I mean, look at my closet.

Me: Your closet is impressively packed. Oh, by the way, how do those space-saving hangers work?

David: They're great. Get the metal ones. They're more expensive but they don't break.

Me: Cool. Yeah, my closet is getting to its full point. It's not my fault I have a lot of things that need to be hung.

David: You need... a well-hung closet.

Me: Yes! I have needs!

I sure love skyping with David. He always has great stories. I can't even think of anything clever to say right now, because he has already said all clever things.

This may be hyperbole.

David: Neural damage is so out right now.

Love always,

Clara

good shit vs. bad shit

Since Rome was unfortunately cancelled after two seasons, I know you've been wondering what we spend our time watching these days.

For the last week, it's been the BBC's Sherlock. There are only three episodes so far, but each episode is an hour and a half long.

I highly recommend that.

This weekend being out first weekend of first semester, things were pretty awesome.

Me: This is good shit.

Benny: That's good! I much prefer good shit to bad shit.

Me: Yeah. Bad shit is bad.

Benny: Exactly!

John (joining the conversation): Wait, what?

Benny: If you were to describe bad shit in one word, what would it be?

John: ... shitty.

Me: What about good shit?

John: Awesome.

Me: This kid is an outlier!

Benny: It's the exception that proves the rule!

John: What did you expect me to say?

Benny: Good shit is good, and bad shit is bad.

Me: The world is more or less binary.

I'd like to say that this is representative of the sorts of things that went on this weekend.

I also had some really great tea earlier today. It was good shit.

Love always,

Clara

classes, at last

I've got my schedule sorted out. Finally. I dropped my fifth class this morning.

This semester is going to be really good. I can feel it. All of my classes are great so far, and I don't see that changing.

First I've got Brain Damage and the Mind. I was already excited about that, and then I found out that I know a bunch of people taking it, so it gets bonus points for that. I'm excited. Although I hope other people drop it because right now the room is really crowded. And that one's at 10am, my earliest class of the semester. No more dragging myself out of bed at 8:30 for econ.

Right after that I'm taking Health Care in the United States, which is taught by a primary care physician. He seems really nerdy and awesome, and the class so far has just gone on about how Europe is great. Although it does have its problems too. But we're really quite terrible.

On tuesdays and thursdays I'm taking my first college math class... Number Theory! I'm excited. I just didn't feel a passionate need to take multivariable calculus. I have missed numbers though, and their numbing qualities. I mean that very seriously. Sometimes I think that the mathematicians just needed something to numb them from whatever their personal burdens were, and so they turned to numbers.

And then, of course, there's Fiction I, my first year seminar that meets weekly. I have heard very good things about that class. Very good things.

So that's my semester in a nutshell. In addition to layout-editing for post- and having a social life, of course.

Love always,

Clara

somewhat deranged

First of all, you all need to watch this:

I always make fun of AOL's content (because my mom gets a surprising amount of her fluff-type news there), but this is genius.

Anyway. Moving on.

Last night may go down in history as the night it was established that every man has his price, and mine is 500 monopoly dollars.

Monopoly is my new second favorite board game. Scrabble is the first.

Life has been chaos lately, which is why I've been somewhat absent.

Me: This is something I think I got from my mom. Whenever a bad thing or at least an unforeseen thing happens, I start going through all the great other things that might also happen. I think it's a good thing, but also kind of deranged. This also describes my mother.

Hi mom!

Love always,

Clara

back to the books

Of course, classes are going to happen.

I'm excited for that too though.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to Brain Damage and the Mind at ten, and then Health Care in the United States at eleven. There's another class I'm thinking about taking that meets at eleven on monday/wednesday/friday, but I'll sort that out as it comes. On thursday I'm going to a class about the Romans, Introduction to Number Theory, and of course Fiction I, my first year seminar.

All of those classes sound awesome to me.

They will inevitably sound less awesome when they're assigning me papers and whatnot.

But right now they sound so awesome.

Maybe I'm just tired and therefore in a good mood. Maybe I'm just in a good mood. Any of these things are plausible.

Love always,

Clara

i love college

I am under the impression that my tweets last night were awesome.

I'd forgotten the kinds of ridiculous shit my friends here say out loud.

I love it.

Last night was great. It was the first night that a critical mass of people were back, and the last night that wasn't a school night until the weekend.

I really can't say enough times how happy I am to be back. It's almost sad.

This morning I woke up and walked to a cute local diner to get breakfast with some friends. Then, we all had a snowball fight on the lower quad of Keeney.

Later, we went sledding at a nearby high school, and built a jump, and went off of said jump and may have hurt ourselves.

Tonight some of us went to a cafe, played Monopoly, and smoked hookah.

Today has been one of the best days ever.

Tomorrow classes start, and that won't be bad either.

Love always,

Clara

busy busy

Back on campus and life is sweet.

I woke up at eight this morning, hung out for a bit, got dressed, and went to Starbucks where I bought the Sunday Times and drank my doubletallsugarfreevanillasoylatte.

Then, John and I went to the mall where I bought a new iPod (the old one, which I'd had since sophomore year, had reached the end of its life) from a guy named Stephen.

Me: I'd like to buy an iPod.

Stephen: Cool!

Me: Yeah. Just an iPod classic.

Stephen: Cool! I can help you with that!

Me: Great, thanks.

Stephen: Yeah! Cool!

He was a generally enthusiastic character. He told us to come back sometime. As if we're going to go to the Apple store and say "Oh, hi, we don't need anything, we're just looking for our friend Stephen."

The mall was fun. There seems to be some kind of cheerleading competition going on in Providence, and we saw a lot of people in midriff bearing uniforms and eye glitter.

On the way out, we saw some local kids outside.

John: Look at the natives!

This reminded me of something.

Me: So I was in Switzerland, and my Mom did something weird, I don't know...

John: That's basically the story of your life.

Me: ... yes.

He's 100% right about that. But the story continued.

Me: I remember, she ordered sparkling water instead of regular, which I don't even understand.

John: I hate sparkling water.

Me: Me too. So I was like, "Mom, what are you doing?" and she was like "Clara, I've gone native."

That's a real story.

I really don't like sparkling water.

Anyway, then later we went to Whole Foods with Liz and Jenny and Felice. I have so many fruits and veggies right now. It is making my day.

I am so glad to be back.

Love always,

Clara

i'm leaving in half an hour

Goodbye Switzerland! It's been real! See you in May!

And maybe in March if Mom's women's conference isn't in the middle of midterms. We'll see about that.

Of course, I couldn't leave without one last music binge before I get on that airplane. It's a long flight, you know.

Home is Wherever I'm With You - Kid Cudi + Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Save Me - Nicki Minaj

Fearless - Taylor Swift

For the First Time - The Script

This Is Why We Fight - The Decemberists

Rise to Me - The Decemberists

Away Frm U - Oberhofer

Bang Bang Bang - Mark Ronson & The Business intl

Coca Cola - Little Red

Fade to Black - MNDR

It's Alright - Little Red

Pyramid - Planes

The Recluse (Nero Remix) - Plan B

Time of my Life - Patrick Wolf

Twice - Little Dragon

Cold War - Janelle Monae

Robots - Jamie Woon

The Water - Johnny Flynn & Laura Marling

The last two thirds of that are from my extensive collection of Thomas's tunes. That kid and his music are great, although I am very very angry with him, as he could probably tell from my phone call last night.

Next time you hear from me, I'll be in America.

Love always,

Clara

new friends

Yet again. I think every relocation I've made this year could be described as "going home."

I packed today. It was easier this time around. I have a vague idea now of what I actually wear. I don't know why this was such a mystery to me before.

Tonight we went out. I was more punctual than the rest of those hooligans. Which meant I was standing at the treftpunkt by myself for a bit. I made some new friends.

Guy: *German*

Me: Oh, I speak english...

Guy: Oh! Where are you from?

Me: Um, America

Guy: What are you doing here?

Me: I'm meeting friends. I think they're coming in on the S7. They should be here any minute...

Guy: Girl friends?

Me: Mostly guys.

Guy: You're a blondie. I like blondies. I'm a black man.

Me: I see.

Guy: My name is Prince.

Me: It's nice to meet you.

The bit about blondies is 100% direct transcription of what he said. That was in no way paraphrased or reworked for shock value.

Then a friend of his, Ashley, turned up, and she seemed pretty cool, and I was in a public place, so I felt less sketched out about the whole thing. Although I did give Kyle the "Hi I'm at treftpunkt making new friends where the hell are you?" phone call.

Ashley was quite nice. She'd gotten her hair done that day, and she had this curled mohawk situation going on, and the sides were buzzed. She had designs on each side. One side had swirls and one had a picture of a cat. I am not even joking.

I love meeting new people and having new experiences.

Tomorrow I will fly back to Providence and see my wonderful college friends and this will be great.

Love always,

Clara

alpha-women and my topless photo

There was an article in the Financial Times today about how Alpha-women tend to marry Alpha-males, and then the Alpha-men get their careers put first, and that's why there aren't enough female CEOs. The moral of the story was that if you want to be a CEO, marry a man who doesn't care about his job. The implication was that such men are weaker or something.

I think this is crap. I don't want to end up marrying someone less ambitious than I am. Although I don't want to be a CEO either. I'm thinking right now of being a psychologist, or memoirist, or hobo in a box.

Or maybe a combo.

Mom said that she felt like that too, and that she sees herself as the Alpha-woman who had to stay home with the children.

Mom: I'm not bitter about it though, because I got to be with you kids.

Me: And we're pretty cool. Especially me.

Mom: Well where do you think you got it?

Mother and I are also huge narcissists. I think I got that from her too.

We had drinks with a family friend tonight. It is when we are doing these kinds of things that everyone's weird sense of humor comes out. I was telling her about my blogging, and the fact that a google for "ipad boobs" results in a link to this very place.

Me: Well, it's because of this conversation I had with David.

Dad: So it's not because of that topless picture of you holding an iPad?

Me: Oh that might have something to do with it too.

Friend: Don't shock your parents!

Me: Too late.

...

Dad: Since you've been home, I've had this postmodern existential awareness of the things I say and how they might be represented on your blog. It's interesting.

This is why I have a whole tag about my family being weird. It really suits them.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. I bet you were anticipating a topless photo. Or at least some reference to a real topless photo. No luck. Sorry.

excitement all around

Me: This song used to be popular.

Dad: ... Why?

It was a Sean Kingston song, but one of the less comprehensible, more repetitive ones. I really couldn't give Dad an answer.

We went skiing yesterday. It was awesome. Verbier is about two hours away, but totally gorgeous, and I feel like I skied pretty well.

Today so far has been less fun. My final dentist appointment was this afternoon. And I bought some apples. We always have terrible soft tiny apples in our house, or none at all, so for a while I'd assumed that the apples available to the Swiss just suck. This is not the case. I went into Loeb today and found their produce section; they have some really great apples! I bought a bunch. This has been my exciting project of today.

Later I'm popping by school though. The kids are done with their exams I think, which is cause for celebration.

Love always,

Clara

hey baby, what's your sign?

Let's be real for a second: I'm self-centered.

Very much so.

For god's sake, I keep a blog about myself. And I have over a thousand posts.

So, while I don't really believe in its legitimacy, astrology has always been cool to me. I'm an Aries, and I'd like to think it suits me.

I'd like to believe that I'm

• energetic,
• charming,
• bold,
• independent,
• enthusiastic,
• and, in some regards, fearless.

And on the flip side, I'll acknowledge that I could possibly be considered

• arrogant,
• self-centered (see above for christ's sake),
• blunt,
• impulsive,
• and definitely stubborn.

So a couple weeks ago when the "new" astrological signs came out, I was a little unnerved by the thought that I was supposed to be a Pisces. I knew I wasn't a Pisces. I just looked it up. Pisces people* are "hazy" and "introspective" and "will quickly put the needs of others ahead of their own." While altruism is awesome, I wouldn't say it's something I jump for. Pisces people are "shy, on the reticent side." Have you met me?

I am definitely not a Pisces.

Of course, the astrological authorities, whoever they may be, clarified that these new signs only matter if you're an infant, so I have nothing to worry about. But it begs the question: If I'd been told from birth that I was a Pisces, would I believe it? Would I even be more like that?

Just how suggestible am I?

(Obviously the answer is that I'm not suggestible at all. I'm stubborn, because I'm an Aries.)

This has been the source of a good deal of existential angst lately. By that I mean I don't care much at all but I wanted to be able to talk about how awesome Aries kids* are in a blog post and this seemed timely and relevant.

*How is one supposed to do the plural of an astrological sign? Pisceses? Arieses? Geminis? Aquarii?

Love always,

Clara

ballin'

I'm back from Austria. I had planned on blogging while I was there, but we were pretty busy-slash-hungover most of the time so that didn't happen. Apologies.

Now I'm home.

The balls were fun. Friday night was the Blumenball, the ball thrown by the flower growers. There were a lot of flowers there.

That ball was great for people-watching. There were some very good dresses and some very bad dresses and a girl with multicolored dreadlocks. There was also a very awkward disco that reminded me of Andrew's Bar Mitzvah (hey Potomac kids, you still remember that right?) because of the generational dynamics and the architecture of the room.

Although this one had real cocktails, which was a plus.

Saturday night was the Wirkschaft Universitat ball, so the crowd was slightly younger (for those of you who don't spreche Deutch, that's the business school). It was very fun.

The thing about the Viennese Waltz is that there is a lot of spinning involved and it makes one very dizzy. The thing about being a girl though is that you're not expected to lead the dancing, just hold on and keep step. That's nice once you get the hang of it.

There was a Quadrille at midnight, which is something like an Austrian squaredance. That's fun, unless you've been standing in heels for the last four hours and the room is too crowded and people are stepping on your feet.

Well, even then, it's pretty fun.

I'm a big fan of balls, I've decided, although I'm not sure I'd have the stamina for the Austrian ball season. They have around three hundred balls between the new year and Lent.

I went to two and I'm exhausted.

Love always,

Clara

i don't even know

Mom: Clara, will you pick out some outfits for Grace to pack?

Me: What?

Mom: I tried to do it, but she said "Mom, can you send Clara to do this?"

Me: Did she actually say that or are you bullshitting me?

Mom: I'm bullshitting you. But she won't listen to me!

For some reason we don't trust Grace to pack for herself. That reason will probably become evident in the next few days, because I'm refusing to help. I have a stomach ache and so I'm in a contrary mood. Also, sulky.

But I just listened to Bright Eyes for a little bit and now I feel much better. Here's hoping that stays.

Tomorrow we depart for Austria. Tomorrow night is the Blumenball, and the night after that is another ball that's bigger and goes until five in the morning.

My life is basically something out of a poorly written novel. Or maybe a sitcom that was brilliant, but didn't get good enough ratings and was cancelled after two seasons.

Love always,

Clara

edited to add: I did go try to help Grace pack. I did. I tried my damndest. That girl is stubborn though. In unrelated news, it's clear that we're related.

new road trip, new music

Dad and I are going to Lichtenstein!

I, of course, need new music for this occasion.

Most of this is courtesy of Thomas.

I Chose Me - Kai

Ghosts on a G6 (Basic Physics Mashup) - Deadmau5 vs. Far East Movement

Run - Daughter

I Just Came To Say Hello - Mashup Germany

No Guns And Horses, Just Make Love - Ellie Goulding, Daft Punk & Monsieur Adi

BTSTU - Jai Paul

Leave Your Troubles Behind - Hollywood Kill

Absentee - Emmy the Great

Moon Crooner - Egyptian Hip Hop

Dancing with the DJ - The Knocks

Confetti - 1,2,3

Not In Love ft. Robert Smith - Crystal Castles

Ain't Nobody (Memory Tapes remix) - Clare Maguire

Five Trees - Chapel Club

No One's Gonna Love You - Cee Lo Green

The High Road - Broken Bells

Boyfriend - Best Coast

Hooray!

Love always,

Clara

in case you needed further evidence

That I'm not up to much, check this out. I just found a blog that takes New Yorker cartoons and gives them captions that are literally what someone might say in that circumstance. Not a joke, just a factual or logical statement.

There's one about a unicorn that illustrates this perfectly. And one about a dolphin that just makes me giggle.

Clearly I've been productive today. Now I might take a nap.

Love always,

Clara

misfits

So I've been watching this show called Misfits.

It's rocking my world. It's about these british teenage juvenile delinquents who are hit by lightning and get super powers. If that doesn't sound fantastic to you, you need to reevaluate your standards.

One of the guys, Curtis, can rewind time. He can't control it, but when something bad happens generally he'll just rewind back to the point where he can stop that bad thing from happening.

Last night I had a dream that I could do that. In the dream I went back to school, and Daphna was there. Then I went back in time, and suddenly it was the beginning of the school year, and we were at this barbecue thing. Kayla was there too. Now, I couldn't remember exactly what my social situation was at the time of this hypothetical barbecue, so I turned to Daphna (who was still there) and asked "So, I just came from the future; remind me which of these people are my friends right now? Am I still hanging out with this person? Am I friends with that kid yet?"

And I ended up saying hi to someone that I wasn't supposed to be friendly with, and I changed the future.

I think it's telling that while Curtis tends to use his power to avoid his friends' deaths, I end up using mine to complicate my social situations.

I also think it's telling that I had a dream that combined Misfits and being back at Brown, because

1) I am so bored that I've been watching two episodes of this show per day.

2) I really want to go back to school.

Tomorrow we go to Lichtenstein though. That should be fun.

Love always,

Clara

bread pudding!

I spent two hours in the kitchen today pouring sugar and cinnamon and milk on bits of bread and calling it culinary.

The end result was delicious so I am beyond thrilled.

Literally had bread pudding cupcake things (cupcake here is a loose term indicating that they were discrete, and roundish) for lunch and dinner. Turns out, they don't provide a ton of lasting energy (hello carbohydrates, how are you doing today?) so then I had some peanuts.

I win nutrition.

Tonight I discovered that my mother owns a bright lime green corset. I want to steal it. It's not a lingerie-type corset; it's a top-part-of-a-gown-type corset. I'm sure there's a word for it.

Anyway, it fits and I kind of want to wear it around like it's a normal thing to wear. Bring it into style. Rock it with jeans and sunglasses.

Maybe I'm just on a prolonged sugar high.

That is a plausible explanation of my mood.

Also the fact that I haven't left the house all day. That always does crazy things to my head. I couldn't be bothered though. There's nothing to do on Sundays in this country anyway. And I had discrete-and-round bread puddings to make. And eat.

This is what things are like these days. Luckily I'll be back at school in two weeks, where at least my insanity is in good company.

Quotes without Context: Holiday edition #4

"Your screw is loose! Do you want me to drive it?!"

Did I imply above that there are not many insane people right here? I retract that implication.

Love always,

Clara

cupcakes

Tomorrow, I'm going to the dentist again. I've been reassured that what they're doing tomorrow morning won't hurt at all (they're taking a mold of a tooth), so I'm not freaking out anymore.

Tomorrow evening, I plan to be social in some capacity.

And the day after tomorrow, I'm making cupcakes.

I haven't decided what kind yet. There's this recipe for strawberry whipped cream frosting that I want to try, but I'm not sure you can get strawberries here at this time of year.

If I do that, I'll make a general vanilla cupcake and put a little strawberry slice on the top of each one.

Otherwise, I'm thinking of just making bread pudding in a cupcake tin, like they did at Duck and Bunny when I was there before the BDH Banquet (I really am just bragging at this point. Yes, my life involves non-painful dentist encounters, cupcakes, and banquets for fantastic newspapers and their even cooler associated magazines. Also, if you're the last person on earth to whom I have not told about the ball, I'm going to a ball. In Austria.)

Anyway, in the process of finding these recipes, I've been reading through a lot of cupcake blogs. And wow. They are just awful.

I mean, the cupcakes themselves look delicious. I would probably eat any cupcake I saw in the last two hours or so of browsing through these blogs. But the blogs themselves were so... disorganized! Most did not make efficient use of tags! How hard is it, exactly, to add the tag "recipe" to every post that contains a recipe? Why, it's just as hard as adding the tag "pumpkin fudge," which you will most likely only ever use once, and which helps no one.

I almost died.

The writing was of varying quality as well, but I feel more vulnerable throwing that stone, because I may very well be living in a glass house.

I'm not sure whether that last sentence made any sense, which more or less proves my point.

Anyway, I'm glad to have made these decisions and dragged myself out of the thicket of poorly organized blogging. I guess most bakers aren't bloggers by nature. I remember there being one really fantastic cupcake blog that I read a little while ago, but I can't remember the name of it. Daphna probably knows.

It just occurred to me that the last time I made cupcakes, I blogged about it. It was that time I went to the eye doctor and they dilated me and I couldn't read a damn thing, and throughout the experience I felt very much like Kierkegaard.

Hopefully sunday's attempt will be just as... inspring.

Love always,

Clara

not throwing myself off the balcony

We're in Lugano! By "we" I mean the whole family. We drove down here today, Grace is looking at a boarding school tomorrow morning and mom and I are going shopping, and then tomorrow we're driving back. It's an exciting life.

Lugano is fun because they speak italian and none of us speak italian.

Mom's strategy is to mime.

We visited the spa this afternoon. This hotel is great. I hung out in the steam room for a bit and... felt steam... around me... and breathed it in? I'm not really sure what one is supposed to gain from a steam room. Was I supposed to be relaxed? Rejuvenated? Super flexible? Is hot yoga still a thing people do?

Sometimes I feel like there is so much I just don't know about the world. Such as the purpose of steam rooms, or how to put stockings on without ripping them.

Mom: What are you reading?

Me: The Bell Jar.

Mom: Ugh, Sylvia Plath? Why don't you just throw yourself off the balcony?

I really like Sylvia Plath, actually. I'm much more of a tortured soul than I tend to let on, so her writing appeals to me a lot.

No worries though; I have no plans to stick my head in the oven. I don't even know how to turn our ovens on.

Quotes without Context: Holiday edition #3

"I'll never look at Osama Bin Laden the same way again!"

Love always,

Clara

this is how thomas feels about sunglasses

I went to school today. By that I mean ISB, naturally. I don't even go there anymore, but I'm never sure I quite attended last year either.

I'd forgotten what the place was really like, to be honest. And then today I stepped inside C building and it all came rushing back and I thought, "Wow, I was here for a whole year and this was my school."

It was a very strange thought.

I turned up because the kids told me to, and because I wanted to see Mr. Tom. I did see Mr. Tom, and I hung out with the kids for a while, so it was a good day.

I've taken to calling them "the kids" because

1. They're still in high school which makes me laugh-out-loud.
2. No other names have really stuck.

We all watched some cool videos on youtube. I feel like they spend a fair amount of time watching cool videos on youtube. This one is my favorite:

Sometimes I think I am far too sophisticated to be entertained by random nonsense, and then I encounter random nonsense and I am very much entertained, and then I remember that I'm not actually sophisticated.

Love always,

Clara

tunes from thomas!

Once again, the lovely Thomas has given me a USB-worth of songs.

He really is fantastic like that.

As I tend to do, I'm only adding them to my library 20-or-so at a time. I want sufficient time to pay attention to each song.

Blow It Up - The Vaccines

Have A Nice Day - Stereophonics

The King and All of His Men - Wolf Gang

Medicine - Alex Winston

Mouthful Of Diamonds - Phantogram

My Life - JJ

Qwerty finger - Everything Everything

Silver Soul - Beach House

Splash (feat. Coco) - Sub Focus

Tokyo (Vampires & Werewolves) - The Wombats

Undertow - Warpaint

When the Night Kills the Day - Lauren Pritchard

Wonderman (feat. Ellie Goulding) - Tinie Tempah

Zebra - Beach House

Intelligentactile 101 - Jesca Hoop

I'm going to be dropping by ISB tomorrow, so I can give Thomas the USB back and say hello to Mr. Tom and MT and the rest.

Get ready, guys.

Love always,

Clara

it's been said before

I'm five years old.

In half an hour I have to go to the dentist and I kind of want to cry. I just don't want to go.

They're going to poke me with needles and yell at me in german and strip me of my autonomy and make my mouth hurt.

I don't like any of these things.

I've never had a good relationship with dentists.

I take sick pleasure in the fact that they have one of the highest suicide rates of any profession. I say, yeah, fuck you dentists, go kill yourselves.

(Which, I acknowledge, is a just terrible thought to have)

The worst part is that I actually know some dentists personally and they're fine people. I wouldn't say they're the most stimulating company, but they're not the kind of people I would wish death upon under normal circumstances.

But... dentists. It's unforgivable, really.

Quote without context: Holiday edition #2

"Can Simone touch them?"

Love always,

Clara

with the parents again

Mom: Want some vino? Your dad and I are going to watch Rome.

Sometimes it occurs to me that I may as well not have left college. Things are actually not all that different over here.

Although watching graphic sex scenes at school is totally okay, and watching graphic sex scenes with my parents is totally not okay.

In related news, we watched The Kids are All Right tonight. It was great, except for all of those graphic sex scenes with my parents in the room.

There is something decidedly gross about that.

I, naturally, thought the happy ending was when the oldest daughter got to go away to college and escape the madness that was her domestic situation. I was literally cheering for it.

I think that every day for the next week, I'm going to post a quote without context from new years, because there are so many great ones.

So, here we go.

Quotes without context: Holiday edition #1

"If you let her film you, she'll tell you about her vagina in winter"

Love always,

Clara

zubringerdienst you

Dad: However, Uncle Stu was never gay, unlike many male models.

Mom: While you were in the bathroom, Clara, I made the mistake of telling you father that [one of Mom's exes] was a model.

I had dinner with my parents tonight and it was hilarious.

We're out of eggs. This is a crisis.

Mom: This was easy driving home.

Dad: On the way here I took the long way because I didn't want to get a ticket driving through Matte.

Me: But you did it just now.

Dad: Well I cut the odds in half. I didn't want to be pulled over and have to explain that I was zubringerdiensting your mother.

Me: That does sound questionable.

"Zubringerdienst" means you can only drive through a particular area if you're going there. As in, not just passing through.

Mom: Zubringerdienst you!

Love always,

Clara

goodbye, 2010, hello 2011

Last night was fantastic. It completely lived up to everyone's high hopes. I haven't had such a hilarious time in town in ages.

Also, I love champagne.

Me: I want to take a picture of the bottle of champagne in the snow and be like... poppin bottles on ice, like a blizzard.

I totally did do that, for the record.

Now it's 2011 and it's time to make resolutions! I'l try. No promises. I'm not big on having flaws to begin with (read: acknowledging flaws out loud).

1. Be less flakey.
2. I am only allowed to take out the trash when it is actually full.
3. Work out at least once a week.
4. Keep yourself organized.
5. If I'm going to take a nap, I should set an alarm to wake me up at a designated time.
6. Drink more water.
7. Be confident, because I'm fantastic.

Okay.

I think I can stick to most of those.

If not, I can just flake out. And break more. And be problematic. But fantastic!

Love always,

Clara

oh SNAP

I was on hypem the other day and look what I saw:

Oh, hello, Oh Land. Daughter of a Great Dane. Opener for Mates of State at the Met in Pawtucket. Nice to see you there, at number eleven on the popular charts on hypem.

So glad you're doing well.

Now where's that picture of us together (with John)?

Oh yes, there it is.

Dear music: I win.

Love always,

Clara

music to end the year

I do this thing where for each year, I have a playlist entitled "chronology" with essentially every song I downloaded and/or acquired that year, in exactly that order.

The songs that I just downloaded will probably be the top of the "chronology 2010" playlist. And then I'll have to make "chronology 2011".

Weird.

Anyway, here they are. Many thanks to John and the wonders of hypem.

We Own the Sky - M83

Helsinki Art Scene - Satellite Stories

Civilian - Wye Oak

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

Heart it Races (Architecture in Helsinki cover) - Dr. Dog

All Yr Songs - Diamond Rings

Heartbeats (The Knife cover) - Jose Gonzalez

Love always,
Clara

bowling once more!

The swiss kids dragged themselves out of their study caves long enough to come bowling. Hooray!

Thomas: I studied this morning! I did an essay plan about the Russian revolution. I hate the Russians. The thing about the peasants, is that they think it's all about them.

I hadn't realized the Russian peasants were so full of themselves.

Thomas: These people would try to come in, and they would say "We're going to help you!" and the peasants would stab them with poles! They'd say "No! You're educated!"

The bowling itself went well. Nyah dominated, and Oren rocked it. Chris wasn't playing because his shoulder has some kind of problem, but he took shots for people here and there and had a pretty good record. I played the way I play most sports - not well. Anine was the best though. We may have had to remind her that the pins were that way.

Love always,

Clara

december has been a bad blogging month for me

I so apologize. I'll blog twice today, because last night we watched Eclipse and I had a lot to say about it and then I got tired and went to bed instead of releasing my thoughts to the internet.

I have to say, I find both the male leads in that movie remarkably attractive. The thought occurred to all of us, more than once, that it was downright unfair that Bella should have two such fine specimens of the male form both head over heels in love with her.

Can we talk for a second about how Bella has basically no attractive/interesting qualities?

Amanda: Maybe I should start speaking in a monotone and tripping over things.

Me: I trip over things all the time! It doesn't help!

Seriously, she spends the entire movie blinking at people. She has one expression, and it is blankness.

Bella: [looks blank] I'm so glad you're safe.

... later...

Bella: [looks blank] I never wanted to hurt you.

... later...

Bella: [looks blank] I punched a werewolf.

I actually wish I were joking about that.

It's as if she's trying to be mysterious, except she has basically nothing to hide. There is no actual mystery. She's just boring.

So that bothered me. Also, the mormon undertones were out in full force in this installment. Edward has a long speech about how, while his soul is already a lost cause, he would never risk Bella's soul by sleeping with her. Because, obviously, sleeping with someone steals their soul. Just like making someone a vampire steals their soul. Vampires and non-virgins are basically the same thing, right?

Yeah. Thought so.

That bit was awkward mostly because we were watching with a couple little boys around the age of ten (we'd told them it was kind of an action movie). And their mother. She had been hoping the whole bit would go over their heads, but then we hear the older one ask, "MOM, WHAT'S A VIRGIN?"

Too funny. Anyway, Twilight continues to be a waste of time, except that Jacob is super hot, and Edward has this twisted romantic side at which I cannot help but swoon. Fifteen was the perfect age to read those books.

Love always,

Clara

merry christmas!

I hope you enjoyed that last brief post. I enjoyed it.

Merry christmas everyone, for real. My holiday was lovely. I've discovered yet again that it is when I get tired of people that I come out and act like myself.

I'm trying to think of a better way to phrase that but nothing comes to mind.

As I've said before, I really do love my family. Really.

But when my cousins are talking about the details of their respective fourth grade little league careers with my uncle, at a certain point I can't not make fun of them. It's just too easy, and I can only hold back for so long.

We had to cook today. Only the womenfolk. I think the logic of this, on the surface, was that we were the ones who knew how to cook, and the men would be useless. I pointed out later that if we were really electing chefs by that standard, then mom and I should have stayed the hell out.

I think the relatives are trying to domesticate us.

I, for one, will not stand for that.

The problem is, I can't see myself being much of a breadwinner, but I am most certainly not housewife material. I am curious to discover my role in my own family when I find someone willing to marry me.

I sure hope he can cook.

Love always,

Clara

happy holidays

I am so drunk on the christmas spirit and family and probably mostly it was the champagne.

That's okay.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, GUYS!

Love always,

Clara

i would not date my cousins, and that's okay

I went skiing today for the first time in way too long. And somehow I did not fall but once, when trying to stand on a flat surface. You know how hard that can be.

The drive to the mountain was interesting at best. My wonderful cousin Ian was talking about how his girlfriend's roommate had bought Christmas presents for her own boyfriend, but then they broke up, so Ian might be getting some Brooks Brothers shirts out of it. He was excited.

Shortly thereafter, my aunt Gail was telling me (for at least the fifth time in the last few days) about her son's friend who plays soccer at Providence College, whom she thinks I should meet, although he is, as she puts it, a "bad boy, very naughty."

Me: I mean honestly, he doesn't sound like my type. I don't tend to go for athletes.

Someone: Is that so? What is your type?

Me: Well, I don't tend to go for guys who get excited about Brooks Brothers either.

Suddenly everyone in the car was very offended and I can't quite place why. It's not like dating my cousin Ian was even on the table to begin with. I mean, please. If my mother had her way I'd be married to one of the stepcousins but they're very seriously not my type, and also they're my stepcousins, so while it's genetically alright... ew.

Anyway, then Gail said "Well maybe snobby girls aren't his type."

Excuse me?

Having preferences is snobby now?

I'm sorry that, given the option, I probably wouldn't jump at an opportunity to date guys like her sons. Her sons are great. I love all of my cousins dearly. But they're just not my type, and they wouldn't be, even if we weren't blood relatives (this is such a weird train of thought).

I'm not sure that this is a snobby thing. I'm almost thinking, actually, that it's terribly antifeminist to say so. Am I supposed to be just lying here waiting for someone to fancy me? I'd like to have a choice in these matters.

Although, maybe I was misunderstood. Maybe everyone thought I meant Brooks Brothers was passe, and I would only consider dating someone who wore exclusively Vineyard Vines.

(Is that even a better thing? Can they be compared? Let this be evidence as to how little I know about preppy menswear lines, and how proportionally little time I spend thinking about these things, with the exception of right now.)

It was all very strange.

Love always,

Clara

sleep

I just had a dream that I was at a party, and everyone was being covered in neon spray paint, and then a group of belligerent bagpipists came in saying they had the room reserved, and they forcibly read us their business statement, and one tried to take my phone.

Why was I dreaming at five PM, you might ask?

Because my sleep cycles are fucked up beyond repair.

I was up until five in the morning last night. I almost shot myself. I should have fallen asleep quickly. I'd had a fairly active day, and I was at the very least tipsy by the time I got in from town. It should have been easy.

But no.

Insomnia is the worst. It turns you into a crazy person. And then it forces you to skip skiing, and sleep all day, and miss out on everything, and lose your mind because now, having woken up from an ill-advised nap, I know the exact same thing is going to happen tonight.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Love always,

Clara

don't insult my sleeping habits

Me: I'm either a friendly drunk or a belligerent drunk.

Sonny: I'm right in between. I sit there and die. I like it!

Sonny is one of the new members of the international school gang. I have to say I'm somewhat obsessed with him. Is that weird?

I don't think it's weird.

I was hanging out with some of these kids this afternoon. I was taking a nap, because my sleep cycles are completely out of whack (my attempts to reset my internal clock by fasting failed when I remembered how much I like food), and Chris calls me, and basically here is our conversation--

Chris: Who am I speaking to?

Me: Clara?

Chris: Your voice sounds different.

Me: You woke me up.

Chris: Why were you napping? You can sleep in! I had to wake up early this morning!

Me: Did you call me to insult my sleeping habits?

It was rather rude of him. But I ended up dragging myself out of bed because that's generally a good thing to do, and wandering around town with the bunch of them. It was a good time. We went to the metal store (music, not alloys and whatnot) and I made fun of the band names.

Me: Anthrax... that sounds fun. Ion Dissonance... I feel like I might have learned about that in AP Chem or something... Did you know that every single t shirt in this store is black?

It really does entertain me to point these things out.

Later my class got together for dinner. It was pretty chill. We had Thai food. Percy wasn't wild about that idea for whatever reason, but we made him deal with it.

Steve: Mehdi, I thought you weren't hungry.

Mehdi: (looks at his clean plate) It just feels like a waste not to eat it! There are starving kids in Africa.

Steve: I've never liked that argument.

Me: Yeah me neither. I mean, if I could take my extra food and put it in a box and send it to Africa, maybe I'd do that instead? But eating it doesn't help anyone.

Mehdi: I'm just saying, if a starving African kid saw all this food, he'd be pretty happy.

Percy: No! He wouldn't! He'd say we don't eat Asian food!

I didn't realize starving Africans were so particular. Percy did grow up in that sort of environment though, so I guess I'll have to trust him on that.

Nota bene: If you're donating food to Africa, don't send sushi.

Love always,

Clara

i'm home again

I slept basically all day.

Also I played scrabble with my mom and my sister.

I'd forgotten how positively riveting things are over here in Switzerland.

Oh wait, no I didn't.

Last night I did go out though. That was fun. I saw a bunch of people from my grade, abunch of people I didn't in fact know, and the requisite current seniors.

It's too funny that they're no longer the grade 11s. I have thought every year though. It's still hard for me to believe that the Potomac seniors have made it past seventh grade.

At this point I've decided that watching every single episode of Gilmore Girls is a good way to spend my time. I'm also trying to convert the kids over here to the religion of robot unicorns.

Love always,

Clara

goodbye brown, for now

I didn't expect last night to be as interesting as it was. Life has yet again proven me wrong. I love it when that happens.

Eleni, if you read this, I know who sent you that text last night. I'm not sure if I want to spill the secret though.

I've been packing this morning. It didn't take as long as I feared it might, which is nice, although now I'm not totally sure what to do with myself.

Probably clean. That's probably what I should do with myself.

But cleaning is not a fun thing to do.

The sooner it gets to five, the more I realize I don't want to leave. College is the best thing ever. And I am of the opinion that Brown is basically the perfect place for me. Every once in a while, I sort of wake up from my life and think, "Wow, I go to Brown, and this place is awesome."

(These small realizations have always come occasionally. First it was, "Oh, wow, I'm in high school," then, "Wow, I can drive, and this is a normal thing!" and then "Um wow, I live in Switzerland now. Wild!" Now I am periodically shocked that I in fact did make it to college, and a phenomenal one at that, and I'm loving it here.)

Anyway, I have things to do. I'm off to do them.

Next time you hear from me, I'll be in der Schweiz.

Love always,

Clara

the night is young

And yet there are already some fantastic quotes.

John: My knees are like ice... it is nice... I should think twice... before getting lice?

Me: Good song.

John: Oh yes, oh yes. Top 40.

Lucas: I need a picture of your aunt. In her underwear.

Me: I'm not sure I can provide that.

Also, for the record, it is super cold outside. Super super cold.

Love always,

Clara

threaded

Mary-Evelyn started a facebook thread of musical recommendations. It's the second best thing that's happened to me all week. I've downloaded all kinds of new music.

Lately - The Helio Sequence

Shadows - Au Revoir Simone

Who Knows Who Cares - Local Natives

Wide Eyes - Local Natives

Punching In a Dream - The Naked & Famous

Pa Pa Power - Dead Man's Bones

Schizophrenia - Jukebox the Ghost

It's Thunder and It's Lightning - We Were Promised Jetpacks

Hoorah.

Speaking of wonderful things, I finished my econ exam. Which was my last exam. My first semester of college is officially done. Hoooray!

I'm actually not entirely sure how to feel about that. I'm one-eighth done with college. That's not okay with me, honestly. I'd like more time thanks, because college is great. This semester has been awesome and I'm still not sure how much I want to go home.

That said, fondue.

Skiing.

Christmas.

Eating meat without guilt.

My own shower.

There are, in fact, reasons to want to go home.

Love always,

Clara

i enjoy economics

I have an economics exam tomorrow. It's the last one, so I keep reminding myself that in twenty four hours I'll be done with first semester, and, hopefully, drunk.

That will be a good thing after this week. Last weekend I was mostly either studying for my linguistics exam or feeling like I should be studying for my philosophy exam, so an opportunity for some good old fashioned college stress relief was forgone.

That will be fixed by drinking on a wednesday. In celebration, of course. It's a totally okay thing to do.

Anyway, I just spent three hours in Andrew and Teddy's room studying. We managed to get off topic more often than not.

Me: So MV equals PY. We need a mnemonic. Mars Venus Pluto...

Andrew: Your-anus?

Me: Cool. So Mars, Venus, Penis.... crap.

Andrew: We could just make it Mars Venus, Your Penis.

Me: That works well.

It turns out though, in the quantity equation, the price (P) is actually the GDP Deflator (which is nominal GDP over real GDP)

Andrew: How are we going to remember that?

Me: Your penis is deflated.

Andrew: ... economics does deflate my penis.

This was far more innuendo than you expected to find in my recounting of studying for economics, isn't it?

We've also established that there was consumer surplus of at least thirty cents when Andrew bought a song about communism, ironically, on itunes, and to answer questions such as "What is money?" it would probably be most productive to walk into the exam high and write a long rambling monologue on why we should all just not value money, man, and communes are like, totally great.

Billy came in at some point and started insulting transgendered people. I don't think he was doing it on purpose exactly, but we being politically correct Brown kids felt the desire to chastise him for this.

Me: Billy, we were having a perfectly nice conversation before you came in.

Teddy: Yeah, about having sex with Hooters girls in an alley.

Me: It really wouldn't work in the winter, we've decided.

Reasons I prefer hanging out with guys: #9204

Love always,
Clara

it's a pig!

It's a pig! It's a housebreaker pig!

Actually it's a mouse. But I've decided mice look kind of like little tiny pigs.

Compare:

Go ahead and try to tell me I'm wrong.

Anyway, last night apparently there was a mouse in our room. I didn't see it, but I got a text from Genevieve.

Genevieve

Holy FUCK there's a mouse in our room.

That was also my reaction. When I got back to the room she explained the situation to me; apparently she'd seen it, but it ran behind my dresser and then she moved the dresser and then it was not there, and no one else was freaking out except her. I said that if I had been there I would also have been freaking out.

It's not like our room is an especially mouse-friendly place. We keep it relatively clean. There are no open foodstuffs. It's generally more or less presentable. A mouse was entirely unexpected, and, frankly, unwelcome.

So I decided it was necessary to try to lure this mouse out of the room. I had some left over jam, and I am under the impression that all mammals like jam, so I put the open jar of jam in the hallway and we left our door open last night. Hopefully it worked, but no one can say for sure can we?

Anyway, this all leads me to the following absolutely real conversation.

Nick: Clara! There was a mouse in your room!

Me: I know! It's horrible.

Nick: So, Clara... is catching mice your jam?

Me: ..... Wow. That was a good joke.

It all reminds me of every single time I've tried to write a joke. A super long and overly complicated build up, for a silly pun punchline.

But this was real.

Love always,

Clara

belligerence

Last night I was in a belligerent mood. Andrew was dutifully making recordings.

Chris: Perkins looks nice.

Me: FUCK PERKINS.

I had all of this recounted to me tonight at dinner. I really need to hear these recordings though. I remember saying these things, but they all made perfect sense at the time. I get the feeling that if I heard them now, it would be at the very least entertaining.

We're in the midst of finals. It's crazy. Yesterday I had my linguistics final, which I didn't think was too bad, and tomorrow I've got philosophy, for which I am supposed to be studying right now.

That's going well, clearly.

At this point, I'm excited to be done, but I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself at home for six weeks. Six weeks is a long time. There will be christmas, and then new years, and then... another three weeks of self-determined free time?

That sounds great. Living with the fam, not so much. (No offense, guys.)

Love always,

Clara

study break

Let me tell you what I did last night, and why I did not blog.

Today, my final essay for MCM was due. Thankfully, MCM is the only class for which the final assignment wasn't also the most important assignment. This was just a short paper, and of course it's a pass/fail class, so I wasn't too stressed about it, but I did in fact need to get it done.

Around nine, my attention span was waning, and by that I mean completely missing in action, so I decided to take a study break and see how things were going down the hall.

My theory on study breaks is that you come back happier, and when you're happy you can also be productive. Hence, study breaks are a good thing and should be utilized freely.

So I went to bother Andrew, who was writing a paper. We started talking about religion, and John and Scott showed up and started playing darts, and I felt personally responsible for derailing Andrew from his work, but I also felt that this was a good thing.

Then we watched a couple episodes of Rome. This is what the Jameson kids have been up to of late, and I find it incredibly entertaining. The Romans have some very quotable moments.

"Take the money!"

-Vorenus

The thing about watching Rome is that it's an HBO show. So there are hot sex scenes, there are decidedly non-hot sex scenes, and they have no qualms about showing battles and stabbings and suicides in all of their graphic glory. I'm impressed by their dedication.

(Also, brief shout-out to Octavia and Agrippa. They are too cute.)

It's a hell of a show. Thankfully I've only seen the second season, so when we inevitably run out of episodes, I can watch season one over winter break.

I've got big plans for winter break.

"Over the course of our marriage, I may beat you, either with my hand or a light whip. Do not be upset. I do not wish you to think that you have offended me. I do it only because it brings me great sexual pleasure"

-Octavian Caesar

So then we heard that the naked donut run was rumored to be occurring at 1AM last night. Being a group of people who like both donuts and naked people, we brought our diligently studious selves over to the Rock.

Half an hour later, no donuts, but I think I might understand the short-run aggregate supply curve a little bit better now.

It became established that we were still hungry, so clearly a Jo's run was in order. I was in the mood for some onion rings.

While acquiring ketchup, it turns out, I had run into someone who might consider himself an old friend. By "old friend," I mean "bizarre acquaintance from the first week of school who comes by my room every once in a while at two in the morning when I'm not there." We said hello. And he came to my room again last night. And I was not there.

"I would rather die than bring you pain!"

-Marcus Agrippa

Back in Keeney, it occurred to me that the cold makes me somewhat delirious. Stefan tried to convince me to take off my shirt for nine saltines and a dollar.

Wait, let me correct that.

Stefan tried to convince me to take off my shirt for nine saltines or a dollar.

For the record, my price is far higher than that.

Sooner than I expected, it was three in the morning.

So now I'm wondering, how the hell did my study break last six hours?

Luckily, I was in a good mood and therefore super productive this morning. All's well that ends well, right?

Finals period is going to be very interesting.

Love always,

Clara

i see a tiny light

I am such a fan of music. I was talking to my mom a while ago and I was telling her about some concert or another and she said, "Wow, you're really getting into music, aren't you?"

I was like, "Um... have we met?"

It was appalling.

Speaking of, I went on an iTunes binge last night.

Tiny Light - Grace Potter & the Nocturnals

Make You Happy - Josh Pyke

Demons - Guster

Mykonos - Fleet Foxes

The Twist - Frightened Rabbit

I'm Coming Home - Wild Sweet Orange

Love is Going to Destroy Me - Mansions on the Moon

She Makes Me Feel - Mansions on the Moon

Space to Breath - Mansions on the Moon

Morning Glory - Katie Gavin

Whip My Hair - Katie Gavin

I am such a fan of all of these songs. I'd forgotten that Quintessence had 'Demons' in their repertoire until I heard it on someone's computer last weekend, and it had been stuck in my head since then. I hate to say I like their version better than the original, but it says good things about my high school's a cappella talents, so rock on for that.

Love always,

Clara

this chick is super cool

This is a cover of "Whip My Hair" and you should watch it.

I found it on Jezebel, which is where I find a lot of things.

The thing about Jezebel is that it's an incredibly politically correct place. Moreso than Brown, I would venture, and that's a big deal. So I read the comments on this particular post, and they're all mostly concerned with the possibility that this is emblematic of some larger cultural tendency to "whiten" things and display them and say "look how much better that is!" and it's all very racist indeed.

I have two thoughts on this:

1. People ought not be racist. And there definitely is a tendency to make "whiter" versions of songs by black people. And maybe that does say something about society, but the people involved aren't to blame necessarily. This girl didn't wake up and say "Hey, I could improve this Willow Smith song by making it sound white," she woke up and said "I like that song. I've got a voice that kills. I should do a cover."

Maybe she didn't say exactly that. I don't know. I don't think it's overall making things homogenous, I think it's having a different creative interpretation, and it's easy to strip a complicated song down to guitar chords and vocal harmonies.

2. I love Willow Smith's swagger, I do, but I can't help but acknowledge that this cover is more likely to wind up on my ipod and I sure hope that doesn't make me racist.

Love always,

Clara

i am not sure how i feel about this.

Just not sure.

On one hand, I'm a bit of a facebook traditionalist. When I got facebook, they were on the brink of introducing the news feed. I remember the days when you had to scroll through your own photo albums to see if there were any new comments. In fact, I remember there being one particular photo (of Will in his own basement) that acquired over 800 comments, in the days before notifications (thank goodness. Imagine that. 800 notifications).

So this is a change. And sometimes I like facebook's changes and sometimes I don't. I liked the addition of facebook chat (although I don't like how it doesn't work half the time). I don't like the smaller font that they've arbitrarily decided is necessary. I don't even remember the days when the links to most of the sections were on the left hand side, and not the top.

Things have changed for the better and for the worse but mostly for the well-it's-been-a-month-and-I've-forgotten-what-it-used-to-be-like-so-I-guess-that's-cool.

This new profile isn't bad, I guess. Someone at facebook headquarters knows that the fastest way to get me to want something is to make it display pictures of myself in a prominent location. But do I want my life story so close to the top of the page? Do I like the idea of public lists of friends?

(I already have lists. On facebook chat my people are categorized as "america friends," "swiss kids," and "brown". "america friends" was initially titled "people i actually talk to" but then it became necessary to separate my groups of friends by time zone. And then Brown kids showed up and they're unique enough for their own category.) In any case, I wouldn't want to feel an obligation to put anyone on my "people i actually talk to" list, even if I don't really talk to them that often (or want to).

Public lists are nothing but trouble.

Hopefully I'm in a phase of my life in which people are less petty than that. That would be nice. Fingers crossed.

And in any case, I get to look at pictures of myself, so... I'm happy enough.

Love always,

Clara

hats are fun

Me: Hats are fun.

David: Some hats are fun.

Me: Most hats are fun.

David: ... Okay.

I've had a fun day of sitting at Starbucks, trying to write a philosophy paper, and running around with the Jameson boys.

The Jameson boys have gotten into pokemon on gameboy color.

Me: What was that bitchy cocoon one?

David: Kakuna!

Me: I hated that. It didn't do shit. It just sat there.

Andrew put on a bow tie as I was leaving.

Me: Are you wearing a bow tie?

Andrew: No.

Me: Okay. [exit]

Stefan: Andrew, I think she bought it!

I die. These real conversations are G-Block-Physics worthy.

(Generally when I put up a ton of real conversations without a whole lot of context or narrative, I think, "This reminds me of blogging during physics junior year!")

Love always,

Clara

phenomenal!

I stubbed my toe on the way to class this morning. It was very upsetting.

Me: You guyssss I stubbed my tooooooe and it hurrrrrts. [note: I think that this is actually how I speak when I'm in a bad mood]

Benny: I'm sorry.

Me: Ugh. This day has had a phenomenal start.

Benny: Maybe that's because today is a phenomenon.

It's hard to be in a bad mood when you've been told that your day is a phenomenon.

Speaking of things that will alleviate a bad mood, if any of you are in the mood for some ribaldry, you should watch this because it is worthwhile and rather saucy.

Thursdays always get me in the mood for ribaldry, because thursdays are before fridays, and fridays tend to be quite saucy indeed.

Love always,

Clara

happy december!

I hope your day went well. Mine was relatively uneventful.

That's not entirely true. I'm trying to invent a language for my final linguistics project and it is incredibly entertaining.

the older bird always gives the worm to the littlest bird in the nest
badnazo boro pɪrɪna laz lalɪma pɪtapar boroma zasopararar.

Do you see that? "zasopararar?" What?! I was doing this in Faunce and basically giggling to myself. It feels so ridiculous, but it's a significant portion of the grade. (Not everyone is making up a language. That was just one of the options. But it's totally my style.)

In third grade, Corinne and I had a language I think. It wasn't really a language though. We would just make noises at each other and pretend that we understood what the other one was saying. Corinne was a character.

Also, speaking of incredibly entertaining things, read this. McSweeney's cracks me up on a regular basis and I am thrilled by it.

Love always,

Clara

i take it back

Daphna

sounds good
enjoy your screening which is hopefully not some other korean porn/death/incest thing
clara
we're watching 'what not to wear'
and 'made'
Daphna
HAHAH
well TLC is definitely not korean incest.
i mean..i hope not..
havent watched it in a while
but im fairly confident

I take it all back. Everything negative I ever said about my MCM class is hereby retracted. We just watched three hours of trashy reality tv.

The days feel so long here. I literally don't remember this morning. Having lunch feels like days ago. I never have any idea what day of the week it is (unless, of course, it's friday).

It's a problem.

I have so much to do too. A philosophy paper, a linguistics project, an MCM paper, and one more Econ problem set. And three finals. Of course.

Yikes.

I can't believe the first semester has gone so quickly. December starts tomorrow (rabbit rabbit rabbit) and I'll be home in eighteen days.

Ridiculous.

Love always,

Clara

people LIKE kissing?!

Me: Wait, a sex machine?

Nicole: Yeah. Look.

Me: Oh wow! That will actually penetrate you!

Scott: That passes the Turing Test to me!

The Jameson kids got ahold of Stefan's facebook password. I died.

Now I'm working on linguistics, and dying for completely different reasons.

(Negative polarity what? Upward-entailing shitshow?)

John: So when I was working with [redacted1], we were working in [redacted2]'s room, and they both had hickeys.

Me: Shit, you mean couples kiss? Genevieve, did you know about this?

John: Shh! So, then, if I didn't know her, I would have thought she was high or something. She was weirdly giddy.

Me: You mean people LIKE kissing?

First day back in the swing of things. Basically two weeks until finals, seeing as no one seems to be interested in participating in this "reading period" phenomenon. Fine by me.

Waking up was hell this morning though.

Love always,

Clara

so it looks like i'm addicted to free labor

The blogging hiatus lasted a little while, at least. I just don't know how to quit you.

I'm having a music moment this afternoon. It's phenomenal, if I do say so myself.

Say It's Empathy (Crystal Castles + Rihanna + Lupe Fiasco + Terra Naomi) - Mochi Beats

Radar Detector - Darwin Deez

Weighty Ghost - Wintersleep

Sundress - Ben Kweller

First Impressions - Julia Nunes

Balloons - Julia Nunes

Guns and Horses - Ellie Goulding

Go Outside - Cults

Animal (Miike Snow cover) - Javier Dunn

Your Song - Ellie Goulding

I recommend all of these.

I coffee'd with Sam and Eleni this afternoon and we talked about our life plans.

Me: I just can't see myself doing anything practical, ever.

Sam: I'm going to marry well.

Me: No, Sam, you're supposed to be the person that other people marry well.

Sam: Eh. I'm very well bred.

Sam is tired of people being smitten with his cousins. I have a bad habit of becoming smitten with relatives of my friends. But my friends have been smitten with my relatives as well, so I think it's fair. In any case, I can't help that I have unmistakably attractive cousins. And Sam can't help that either. We'll all just have to cope.

I developed a new verbal tic last night. I now say "LOL" at everything in a semi-ironic-except-not-really-i-just-tell-myself-that kind of way. It's a problem.

As Alston would say, "error."

Love always,

Clara

x rated

Hey guys.

I'm not supposed to be participating in free labor over the long weekend, hence the lack of blogging.

Have to share a few thanksgiving real conversations though.

Dave: Kathy, who won the Redskins game last week?

Kathy: ... the Redskins.

Dave: And who's going to win next week?

Kathy: ... not you!

Weetie: Clara, tell us your most embarrassing college story.

Jordy: What about your best x-rated story?

Carly: Grampy's here!

Buck: I'll cover one ear.

I opted out anyways. Not sure my x-rated stories are very interesting. The funniest ones are probably on the risque end of PG-13 anyway.

Now I'm staying with the Gee fam, because they are wonderful.

Tonight will be one for the history books, I feel.

Love always,

Clara

macaroons and julia nunes

I've been at school all day but I feel like break started last night.

I had one class this morning and no work that needed to be done immediately, so it's been a super chill day.

I finally got the baked goods that my parents tried to send probably years ago. However, it seems Brown University Mail Services has misplaced the box containing macaroons.

They said they're going to look for them.

(Holy shit that was a lot of pronouns.)

The macaroons will be mine.

I'm going to a Ben Kweller / Julia Nunes concert tonight. I've blogged about Julia Nunes before. She's a singer who plays guitar and ukelele and got her start on youtube. I'm so excited to see her it's not even funny.

I'll take lots of pictures.

Okay. This was going to be longer but I'm running late. John is standing behind me.

Love always,

Clara

just a thought

The other day I was complaining about how all these college kids are being silly with their boy-girl interactions, when I went through that phase in spring of junior year.

I was thinking about that just now. What was happening during spring of junior year?

I was about to move to Switzerland. I was leaving home. I was freaking the fuck out, to be perfectly honest. That was the birth of "mentally unstable clara." I was a mess, just in general.

So then I thought, how many of these kids have had comprable experiences? For what percentage of them is going away to college the first such experience?

Probably a big one.

I see a correlation.

I should give these kids a break, I've decided. They're stressed the fuck out. We all are, and that's okay.

Although I wish they'd find a different way to deal with it.

Love always,

Clara

nice people

Some people are just so nice.

Check out this quote without context.

[redacted]

Well Clara, I hope you had a positively scintillating Sunday. It was lovely seeing you again! We must see each other soon.

First of all, who says "scintillating"? I love that word. I want to start using it more often.

Also on the topic of nice people, Billy started singing Coldplay in the Ratty today and I literally almost died. The girl at the table over gave him this epic "wtf" look and I was very close to cardiac arrest.

John: [redacted] is here.

Me: How dare he eat dinner at the same time that you do? You own this Ratty!

John: I know! This is my refectory!

Love always,

Clara

welcome, boys and girls, to college

A few months before I left for college, my dad presented me with a speech about "boy-girl interactions."

Much like the boy-girl parties of intermediate school, "boy-girl interactions" can be stressful and great and sometimes you think it might be best to hide in the bathroom with the girls who are hiding from their dates, and listen. After five minutes of that I tend to realize that I don't really like girls that much. Specific girls, sure, but girls on the whole, no thank you.

Anyway. Boy-girl interactions. The way I had understood them to this point (who am I kidding. I never understand this shit) had been something like this: people can hook up (which means kissing, Mom, and I know you're reading this on the edge of your seat. Make yourself a libertini or something and chill. I'm not getting pregnant and I'm not dropping acid either) and it can be nothing and everyone can move on with their lives. Or people can hook up and there can be emotional implications due to the behavior of one or more parties, and in that case the hook up can turn into a "thing," and a "thing" can turn into a relationship maybe.

It seems that I have been mistaken. Apparently, as numerous people have told me lately, "we're in college" and that means something.

I'm not sure what it means exactly. Does it mean that when people hook up and there are emotional implications, the best subsequent choice is to do nothing?

As it turns out, maybe that's the way people do things "in college." Everyone's in the let's-hook-up-with-as-many-people-as-possible-in-one-semester phase. The thing about that is that I had that phase in like, junior year. That phase is done. That phase came and went and wasn't all that interesting anyway.

I mean, why not just hook up with one person consistently, and also ask about their day? Is it the variety that everyone's after? Is there an inherent value in variety that I'm failing to grasp?

I don't know. We're in college. Whatever that means.

Love always,

Clara

speaking american

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

I'm mad jeal of all of yall going to the Deathly Hallows premier tonight.

Can I just say though that one of these people goes to my school?

Um, Boo-yah.

Love always,

Clara

*I know a decent number of you guys won't watch the video because, let's face it, videos take time and a minute and a half of commitment. I want you guys to know that I don't actually say "boo-yah." It's a reference to the video.

I just needed to clear that up.

donnerstag

(I took this)

I worked out yesterday for the first time in too long. Pish posh, I've been sick, don't judge me Dad.

Now I'm off to find a dress to wear to the newspaper banquet. And maybe the fall ball on saturday. I'm not sure whether people are actually going to that. I never know where I'm going to end up, actually.

There's also a masquerade situation. I wouldn't be in love with the idea, except that episode of Gossip Girl has given me high hopes for that kind of thing.

Anyway, it's slightly too early to be making weekend plans anyway. For god's sake, it's thursday.

Love always,

Clara

stimulating

Robert
well i reckon next year i will engross myself fully in studies
this year is fun and games

Clara
hahahaha
Robert
next i will go nuts
Clara
"engross myself fully in studies" LOL AS IF THIS SCHOOL WERE INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING
Robert
i will stimulate myself
Clara
hahahahahahahahaha

Clearly I'm actually a 12 year old boy. For the record.

Love always,

Clara

like yoda, i am?

Aw, I'm flattered, twitter.

Love always,

Clara

the day gossip girl made the wrong point about feminism

I'm shocked about it, really.

If you haven't seen this week's episode, probably don't read this, but I'll try to avoid any major plot points anyway.

Blair is trying to get into some kind of position of power. This is nothing new. The particular position of power in question this week is the "face" of Girls Inc., a position held by Nate's cousin or aunt or secret mormon wife or something at the moment. She's getting old (like, maybe 30 ish but who can even tell on this show?) so she approaches Blair and is like "I want you to be the face of my company because you dated someone with my last name and you go to an Ivy League school and you're Blair." And Blair is like, "Super." And the woman is like "But wait. There's more. We're concerned about your personal relationships. You need to be an empowered woman."

So Blair explains emphatically that she and Chuck are nothing and that there is nothing to worry about and she is SO empowered.

Then some other things happen and it becomes clear to the Girls Inc. woman that Chuck and Blair are, in fact, not nothing. So she goes up to Blair and is like "We don't want you anymore!" and Blair is like "That's not fair! An empowered woman should be able to do whatever she damn pleases!" and the bitchy woman says "That's life."

So Blair got it right, except then she goes up to Chuck and says "Bitch woman is right. I need to be empowered before I can be with you. I want to be the secretary of state, not first lady. Clearly I can accomplish nothing if you're in the picture. See ya later."

Which is just wrong. Come on, Blair! Seriously?

She's buying into this whole bullshit notion that one must be hostile to men to be competent. It's this rampant either/or-ism that is so popular among older feminists and so frequently called out as nonsense by the younger of us. One must be feminine or a feminist, apparently. No middle ground.

Nonsense.

It reminds me, actually, of this article that I was reading yesterday. A professor of civil liberties and feminist history was mad that a student was dressing in a way that displayed her "assets." She immediately made the assumption that the girl in question didn't think she had anything else to offer. Can we all acknowledge for a second what a ridiculous leap that is?

One can be with Chuck Bass and be an "empowered woman." One can dress scantily and also be intelligent and capable.

Any "feminist" who says otherwise is completely missing the point.

As is Gossip Girl.

Love always,

Clara