A funny form of nostalgia

Here is one of the great things about blogging: You can look back. I've been keeping some sort of blogger blog since the beginning of freshman year, as I've mentioned. The old one was more about my own personal dramas and crises and mental breakdowns. I've had a mental breakdown or two on this blog as well, but that one was full of them.

I think I was more prone to mental breakdowns anyway at that age.

Anyway, a thing I like to do sometimes is think, "One year ago, where was I? Two years ago, where was I?"

Reading the blog posts from then, I remember writing them, and it doesn't feel like so long ago.

But I just read the ones from almost exactly two years ago and wow. Poor 15-year-old-Clara. I was a mess.

I was just beginning to wander into some problems, and I saw it coming.

Direct quote: "I tend to ruin everything. Not on purpose, but by nature"

My god. Does anyone remember emo Clara? I know she must have existed for a moment!

So that's a little jarring. I think every August throws me off a little. August is the worst month. I've been having fun lately, but this month in general was basically madness and angst and turmoil. Last year I was trying to figure myself out. And two years ago... I was a mess.

Three years ago I don't know what I was doing. I was probably just nervous about playing field hockey.

Thank god I got out of that. If there is one thing that can reliably bring me down, it is athleticism. Maybe that was my problem two years ago. Pre-season angst.

Anyway, there's a fun little diversion into my mental health. Apologies for the potentially awkward TMI. I felt compelled.

Love always,
Clara