viv and I singing again

Raymond.

That is all.

Love always,

Clara

breaking and entering

That aside, my weekend was great. Actually, I guess it wasn't a weekend. More of a Thursday-Friday-Saturday. Which is funny because other people had to go to school.

Driving down was awesome. There's something about highway driving that I just love. Especially when there isn't traffic. It's sort of calming.

We relied on my awesome sense of direction to navigate, because I was confident that I knew the drive like the back of my hand, until we got to the right neighborhood, at which point I had written down the names of the relevant streets (but not which direction to turn on them).

That worked well.

We ended up seeing a driveway that Katie and I were certain was correct. As we were driving down, we kept saying how familiar it looked, and that one time in eighth grade, Isabel drove down this very driveway, because it was so long and isolated that letting a 13 year old drive was a totally okay thing to do.

We figured we were early when there was only one other car there. It still seemed weirdly quiet. I think Isabella knocked on the door.

After about a minute, an elderly gentleman stuck his head out of another door.

Man: Come on in! We're over here!

We all assumed, perhaps this is Isabel's grandfather. We walked around and came inside, to this man's study.

Man: So, what brings you here?

At this point, we're assuming he's senile. We all introduce ourselves, and he asks where we're from. We answer. We make small talk. Eventually, someone asks, "Where are Grier and Isabel?"

Man: What? Forgive me, I can't hear you.

Katie: Grier and Isabel?

Man: Speak up.

This goes on for a while. Then his wife comes in.

Wife: Hello! Welcome! What are your names?

If we had doubted that we were in the right place before, now we knew. She was so welcoming; of course she was Isabel's grandmother or something. She was just so happy to see us! Until...

Wife: So, what brings you here?

At which point, we all realize that we are not in the right house, and that we've spent ten minutes making small talk with complete strangers, who have welcomed us with literally open arms into their home.

They were lucky we weren't crazy criminals or something. If they were robbed, they'd probably be excited to have the company.

So that was awkward.

We managed to get out, and down the right driveway. Eventually.

So much for my awesome sense of direction.

Me: Where would we be without floors?

Love always,

Clara

(both him and the lingerie)

That clause was just typed. I will not provide context, because it will only be disappointing.

Daph and I are talking. Which is always awesome.

I've taken to being vain about my last.fm profile. It really annoys me that Ke$ha is on my most played artists in the past 6 months. I know that as soon as we're six months from January (the era of the 80s dance) that'll drop off, but it bothers me regardless.

So right now I'm listening to Jack's Mannequin essentially so that they can usurp her place.

And because I like Jack's Mannequin.

Tomorrow I depart for a far away land, where I won't have my computer, so don't expect me to blog.

First, though, I have a doctor's appointment in georgetown. Which means I'm going to Georgetown Cupcake and getting their free flavor. I love being thrifty.

I just made an epic mix cd for the purposes of my long drive tomorrow. It's a great mix.

These are all sort of non-sequiturs.

I finished a book today that may or may not have contained a tiger. It was a great book, although I have no idea what was really going on. It's wild. Chronic City, if you're interested.

Also, I went to dinner near Tenleytown today. I am feeling so competent at navigating DC. Even without Garmin!

Being competent is great.

Erm that's all.

Love always,

Clara

old things

I'm listening to "I Want You to Know" by Chantal Kreviazuk right now. I loved this song in eighth grade. Actually, most of my music taste in eighth grade was very heavily influenced by the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants soundtrack.

I am just remembering this now.

At the end of eighth grade, I had a sentimental streak. I started making all of these tribute slideshows to my friends, and I never showed any of them to anyone, but windows movie maker and I spent a lot of time together. I don't think I even saved them when I got Patrick (freshman year). Shortly thereafter, my old IS laptop died, and I think with it died those videos.

That's a shame. I'd have loved to watch them. Where was I even getting pictures of people? We weren't on facebook in those days.

I used to stay up late talking to people online.

Oh wait, I still do that.

But these were like, pleasantly random people, people I never talked to much in real life, but always sort of wished I had.

I was weirdly sad to see eighth grade go. I was pretty sad to see ninth grade go, too. Tenth grade, I was just done with, and I wanted it over, now. Then I dragged my feet as much as I could last year, mostly because I was moving, and didn't want to, and now I'm at the end of high school, and I feel like senior year has already ended and now we're all in this weird pre-graduation limbo.

And I hardly recognize my eighth grade self.

And I started that recollection in eighth grade, because seventh grade feels way too foggy to say anything relevant or true about. So that's pretty trippy.

Except obviously I still have a sentimental streak, because right now I'm listening to Chantal Kreviazuk and blogging about the old times.

Hm.

Love always,

Clara

new music monday!

My mentioning the day of the week in the title of this post seems to imply that I'll have new music every monday. I assure you, this is not the case; I simply have a fondness for alliteration. Actually, I realized today, that it's been almost a month since I've had a real, serious, music binge.

First, let me link you to this. Listen to it. Right now.

Gin and Juice (Florist Mix)

I invented that name for it. Where I found it, it was called the a capella version, but that is misleading. Also, it reminds me of music one would hear at a flower shop.

Also, I downloaded a big bunch of music between yesterday and today!

Cello Song (Nick Drake cover) - The Books

Don't Think Twice It's Alright (Bob Dylan cover) - Metric

Tipsy In The Sun - The White Panda

Praise Outkast - The White Panda

Don't Break My Heart - B.o.B

Not Lost (Feat T.I.) - B.o.B

Toxic (16 Bit Dubstep Remix) - Yael Naim

Punkroses - Daft Punk + Outkast

A Juicy Intro (Ha! Yes Remix) - Notorious B.I.G. + the XX

Islands is the Limit - Notorious B.I.G. + the XX

Bad Romance (Lady GaGa Cover) - Lissie

Gregory and the Hawk (Protohype Remix) - Boats and Birds

VCR (the XX cover) - The Antlers

Buzzin Ft. Wale (DJ Skeet Skeet & Cory Nitta Remix) - Shwayze

And, of course,

I Gotta Feeling (Black Eyed Peas Cover) - I Am Noxious

Basically, I've got a cover/remix fetish (or I've been spending all of my time listening to hypem). It's awesome.

Love always,

Clara

crazy shit like that

I'm just going to go ahead and quote this:

Reverend Sylvester Graham was a Presbyterian minister living in New Jersey in the 1820s. And, naturally, he believed people were way too horny. (You know how it was in the 1820s. Floozies walking around with their necks showing and shit. Not even a ragin' bout of consumption could stop all the courtship.)

-via 11 Points

I've been reading this website, 11 points, compulsively lately, once I felt like I'd run out of good material on Cracked.com.

I should be embarrassed at how good I am at procrastinating. I'm not.

Regardless, that made me laugh aloud. Figured I'd share.

Love always,

Clara

prom!

Last night! Prom! T'was fun.

The dinner beforehand was hysterical though.

Jessica: My sister told me good luck before I left. I was like, "for what?" and she said "You know, so you don't embarrass yourself."

Me: My sister said good luck too! Although she didn't go that far. I don't know what she meant by it. She was speaking through my father. It was a seance.

Will: She's dead?! What?

Also, the limo ride. That was a blast and a half (on the way to prom. On the way back, it was a car full of vaguely cranky people attempting to power-nap, except Sam).

Did you know that an acronym is only really an acronym if it spells a word? If you pronounce the letters, (e.g. CIA, UPS), it's an initialism. Sam was illustrating that point.

Sam: [seeing "SIEU" on the side of a building] SIEU. That's an initialism. Service industry...

Me: How do you know it's not an acronym? Sieu. Actually, that's not an acronym or an initialism or anything. That's a name.

Sam: No, it stands for service industry something union, I think

Me: Um, Sam, I know that guy. Jon Sieu. He's a friend of my parents and he owns that company. It's an energy firm of some sort, I don't know the details... I knew their offices were in the Dupont area. I guess this is it.

Sam: Really? I'm not sure whether to believe you.

Me: [giggles]

I've become a pathological liar. Also, a kleptomaniac.

I got a whole four and a half hours of sleep last night. It was fantastic. I slept from 6:30 to 11 AM. Then I hung out at Katie's house and tried to revive myself, and then Cath and I had coffee, and then I came back here and hung out in my sweatpants all day. Or, rather, all afternoon/evening, but it felt like the whole day to me.

Now my sleep cycle is crazy weird- it's 9:30 and I feel wide awake (for the first time all day).

Hm.

Love always,

Clara

P.S. The song in that video is a cover of "I Gotta Feeling" by I Am Noxious.

prom prom prom

is tonight.

That'll be fun. I was telling my foster-mother Ms. V my plans for the night... she seemed actually slightly horrified. Her oldest child is thirteen, though, so it makes sense that she's not used to the idea of kids out past midnight, or past 2 a.m., or past any reasonable hour.

I can't wait until I'm in college and no one's waiting up for me. While I fully understand the reasons behind her wanting me to call every time I go somewhere, it'll be really great not to have to.

It occurred to me last night that high school is the same length as a presidency. I am definitely ready for this term to end.

Yesterday, Eleni and Jess and I got coffee in Arlington and did some work. This particular coffee shop, apparently, is where Eleni spends 99% of her time outside of school, so the regulars recognize her (I suppose she's a regular too).

Me: Knowing people is really cool.

Eleni: ... Yeah...

Which reminded her of a conversation she had with her mom on the phone the other day.

Ms. Z: That sounds so nice, going out, having friends...

Eleni: Yeah, having friends is nice, mom.

Anyway, I'm reading for a bit now, and then I'm going over to Isabella's and the prom madness will begin. And then it will not end. For 12 hours or something.

I'm going to need a lot of caffeine though. Last night I told myself to get a good night's sleep, but then I stayed up until 3 am for no good reason.

Whatever. Now I'm listening to Miley Cyrus. Soooo life is good.

Love always,

Clara

i can't cook

I don't know whether it's the fact that I'm sleeping in an unfamiliar bed lately or what, but I've been having some crazy dreams.

Last night I dreamt that I was in a field crowded with cars, and there was a party, and I had to leave, and my parents were there? And someone was selling food from a van, or a trailer, or one of those things you see at carnivals, but I had to get to Brown, so I was trying to leave.

It was weird.

Dreams are really hard to describe.

I read a bunch today, and helped make a flourless cake. By "helped", I mean, whisked a bit, and cracked 6 eggs into a pot, managing to get shells in the mix, which Isabella then fished out with great urgency.

Just a day in the life.

Chris used to say he wouldn't trust me to make him a sandwich.

I do tend to do horrible things to sandwiches, though, so I guess it's fair.

I once had the brilliant (seeming) idea to toast my bread before making a peanut butter and jelly on it. I'm sure there's a way to do this without it being a complete failure, but I don't know that way. Did you know that peanut butter melts?

So that was a drippy mess.

I really didn't even know it was possible to mess up PB&J before that day.

One day, there will be a family relying on my skills in the kitchen, and that family might starve. I'd better marry someone who can cook. Or learn.

I do like cooking, but I do everything haphazardly. That's just my style- haphazard. And it works in a lot of ways, but I feel like cooking requires some precision or attention to detail or caring-whether-some-little-egg-shells-fall-into-the-batter. Some people breathe with precision. I'm not one of those.

Nick taught me how to marinate/grill shrimp last year. That was fun. And that didn't take much precision.

Maybe my family won't die. Or be horribly malnourished. That would be good, if I could avoid that.

Isabella's house has all of these "health-revolution" types of books in it now, due to her senior project.

I'm willing to bet none of the weight-loss-oriented books mention set-point theory. You know why? You can't make money telling people that if they're at a relatively healthy weight, and they eat in a reasonable way, they're probably going to stay that weight. I feel like culture has an idea of "good looking" which is on the thinnest end of healthy, and then an idea of "fat" which is definitely not healthy, and there is definitely a healthy range in between that sort of gets ignored except when these people are being recruited as "plus size" models, when they're not overweight.

That annoys me.

So there are all of these essentially-healthy people who think they need to lose weight to be "good looking" and it's a waste of time. And then there are actually overweight people, and I don't think they're reading books about green-foods-diets.

That's because I just assumed that all fat people are stupid.

I should stop criticizing society, when my own thoughts are so reprehensible.

But anyway, what I'm going to pretend I meant by that, is that generally if you're actually overweight, there are ways to cut down on food intake before you have to snap straight to drinking green smoothies (which, I will admit, are really good, if they're made right) with every meal. The ones who want to do that are likely eating pretty standard amounts to begin with.

This conversation just got awkward. I'm out of here.

Love always,

Clara

P.S. "Conversation"? Who the hell was I talking to?

P.P.S. "To whom the hell was I talking?" would be more grammatically correct.

lefties in canada

I had a dream last night that some of the swiss kids and I were in a band, and someone offered us a record deal or something, but we had to make it to this party in Canada that someone was throwing for us. And I was in New York City with my family, and I figured, maybe I'd take the bus to Canada, but it's hard to find a bus to Canada. I wasn't even sure I was invited to this party though, so that was sort of awkward.

Then, for some reason, I had to become left handed, or maybe my mom did and I was just accompanying her, but in any case, we were sent to left-handed-training-camp, which involved... I don't remember. Climbing up something.

We learned about a boy who didn't have a left hand or something, or he couldn't be turned upside down, and something was going on with his teeth. I was told that his conversion to left-handed-ness took a lot of dedication.

There were magazines.

Love always,Clara

cougars

Me: Mom! I have standards!

Mom: Have you seen this show, Cougars? ... There's this mother on it, and she's always saying these horrible things to her son, and it reminds me of us.

Mom really didn't want me to blog that. Hah. We just skyped for a while. It was chill.

I just told David the story of why Grace should never have gotten into kindergarden. To get into kindergarden at our school, you have to know your phone number. I knew my phone number, so I got into first grade.

My mom knew that this was part of the standard rigorous-admission-procedures, and clearly she wasn't completely secure in my sister's abilities to really impress on this test. So she taught my sister a song of our phone number.

And in that critical moment, she hummed it.

And that, my dear readers, is why Grace got a good education. Lies and deception.

Quote without context-

David: Tiny David should have been a tiny-baby-model.

I'm telling David that I'm going to marry this kid I'm living with, since he's about the most adorable thing on the planet. Such a gentleman. He's in fourth grade.

David: I've dated my share of small children. But that was when I was a small child, so it was chill. Not like your situation.

So um, that's been today. I also finished my second book? Hooray for that.

Love always,

Clara

your rules do not apply to me

I'd talk about today, but I spent five hours at Greenberry's taking a math exam. So... there really isn't much to say. Except that there was a problem about the rate at which a coffee shop sold cups of coffee, and I giggled to myself, because I too was at a coffee shop, not drinking coffee.

I just wasn't feeling the coffee thing today.

I actually started the math exam at the school library, since I needed a heavy-duty printer to release the 32 pages of madness that is my final. I figured I'd stay there for a bit, since it is a good working environment. I started listening to music on my phone, too, just for entertainment and morale's sake.

Fifteen minutes later...

Librarian: Hi, what are you listening to?

Me: *Flashes phone. It was on pandora. I had essentially interpreted her question as a friendly gesture. So I was not expecting what happened next*

Librarian: Oh, I see, well, you can't listen to music in here.

Me: What?

Librarian: Yeah, you'll have to take your headphones off.

Me: Oh... Okay.

So... I left.

Seriously, what was the point of that?

I had no obligation to be in the library. If I don't like their rules, I can leave. And honestly, who am I bothering by listening to music? It's not like I was using those horrible earbuds that blast sound everywhere except the intended listener's ears (I've begun to hate those).

I think she took issue with my flamboyant headphones, actually. They're turquoise. And awesome.

I'm a senior anyway. Didn't the rules stop applying to me like, a week ago? Or like, a year ago? Do I even go to this school?

And that's why I went to Greenberry's.

Anyway, tonight was our induction into the Alumni Association, although we are not yet alumni. It was a pretty chill event- good food, some charitably brief speeches, a chocolate fountain. You'd think I'd be so over fondue, after living in Switzerland for shy of a year, but... no. No I am not.

We also filled out these surveys that we'll get back at our five year reunion. A time-capsule of sorts. I'm looking forward to it.

I feel like there were a lot of time-capsules that we've put together over the years, and I'm hoping that at least one of them is revealed at graduation. I love that kind of thing.

Speaking of time capsules and things that are similar, I found this website a while ago that lets you write emails to your future self, and they deliver it at the predetermined time. It's pretty sweet.

Now I'm going to watch the Gossip Girl season finale and go to bed.

I like senior projects.

Love always,

Clara

letting go

Reminds me of that Avril Lavigne album. Good times. Fourth grade.

Tonight was the "letting go" seminar, mandatory for seniors and "strongly recommended" for parents. My parents are far across the ocean so I am essentially a sad lonely orphan, but it was a pretty chill experience nonetheless.

They separated us into kids and parents at first, and had us all talk about what we would miss about the others, and what we wouldn't miss, et cetera.

Some highlights of that:

(parents will be in this color, seniors in this one)

Looking forward to...

• Getting my life back
• Eating the vegetables that I want to eat
• Getting L _ _ d

That last one was articulated by Mr. Y as "finding new ways to be intimate with others."

Afraid of...

• Big phone bills
• I hope my wife still likes me
• The "know it all zone" between 19 and 23

Sam: That's been my whole life!

John: We know, Sam.

• Homesickness
• Starving
• A bed that is too small
• Eating meals alone (an image that struck me as... poignant)

Going to miss about kids/parents...

• Trying to give advice to you
• Being kept up to speed on technology
• Someone to watch reality TV with
• Gossiping
• Mom's cooking and fine choice of vegetables
• Free money
• Pets

Not going to miss about kids/parents...

• Not having to cook vegan meals
• Texting
• "Rolling of the eyes"
• Unexpected visits with nothing to say
• Personal accountability
• False accusations
• True accusations
• Hugs (harsh...)

Advice for the kids/parents...

• Be attuned to life-altering changes
• Do not share a toothbrush
• Call your father every day
• Don't call all the time
• Get a hobby. Or a puppy.
• Get off my sibling's back
• Don't buy a house near school (only at Potomac...)
• Don't expect to hang with us when we're back.
• Don't get facebook.

Essentially, we students want to say, "Stay the hell away from us."

Thanks for...

• Having my back
• Gas money
• not sending me to NCS

Then we all wrote down things on index cards that we wanted our parents/children to know, and they were all anonymously read out loud. It was more sentimental. Except David's.

"I just want you to know... that you can't touch this. (Da na na na na na). Also, I love you"

Just brilliant.

Love always,

Clara

musicality

I realize my last.fm has been dead for the past few weeks. I've been mostly getting my music fix in the car lately (I'm back to making mix CDs! It's always reassuring to discover that some things have not lost their allure back here).

Anyway, I know you're devastatingly curious as to my music habits as of late, so here's a sample!

So yeah, that's what I've been into lately.

I acknowledge that this was a lazy blogpost.

Love always,Clara

universitat

I've been stalking my "Admitted Students, class of 2014" facebook group.

I'm loving it.

Isabella and I went to see a movie today, and found ourselves at Nordstrom's. She always recognizes the designers, knowing what's a rip-off of what, and all of that. She's got very expensive taste.

I have pretty cheap taste. Or, rather, I hope I don't look cheap, but I get so much more pleasure out of buying my gorgeous prom shoes at Marshall's for $30 than spending more money and taking the easy way out.

Anyway, we started talking about college, and how awesome it's going to be. Something about high school is very judgmental, she said. And I agree. Although, I pointed out, judgementalness doesn't end in high school. Crazy social constructs always exist, and probably always will.

That said, there's just something about high school.

I think I said that in Switzerland, I wasn't worried about people judging me.

And then I think I took it back, because obviously that would have been a lie.

More accurately, I had to be content with their judgments, because they were judging me based on the present. Whereas I feel like a lot of people at Potomac judge each other based on the past. I still remember who slighted me in seventh grade, and I'd like to say I don't hold it against them, but every once in a while... I don't know. Some people don't seem like they've changed.

But I'm sure they have! I know they have! And the only reason they don't seem like it to me is because I keep perceiving them the way they were!

So that's my fault.

And we're all victims of it.

I showed up here in first grade, and to some degree I'm paranoid that Dori still thinks of me as that girl in Ms. Hirsch's class who peed her pants.

Because I totally did, and I know first grade was probably too old to be doing that sort of thing, because Dori sure set me straight.

And I don't hold it against her! Really! But, for the unacquainted with K-12 schools, imagine having a whole lifetime to build up little insecurities.

When I was in lower school, I had this (seemingly valid) hope that Potomac would sprout a college, so that I wouldn't have to leave.

Can you imagine what a nightmare that would be?

So here's to college, and to being judged based on who we are (and not who we were), so that we really have no right to complain.

Love always,

Clara

homeless (with a harmonica)

I went to Old Town yesterday. Really don't know why I did that. Spent fifteen minutes pondering whether to break in to my old house (fools left their gate unlocked. Or rather, only locked on the old lock and not the new lock, so that I could open it if I stuck my arm through the bars. It's the way we used to do it, too. It's a good thing most criminals don't have bony wrists like mine and my mother's).

Knocked on the door instead. Had coffee.

It was weird.

I felt like a hobo, wandering in off the street. At least I was wearing a sundress. I don't think many hobos wear sundresses.

That happened to us once, a few months after we moved in. I was eight or nine, and we were moving something in or out or something, and the door was open, and this woman just wanders in. Said she owned the place. Very obviously didn't; she looked homeless or something, but she insisted that she used to live there, that it was her house.

I think the police were called, but I really don't remember.

Anyway, that was a weird experience. There's a 12 year old girl living in my room (the room that I redesigned, when I was twelve. Hot pink suits that age). They have a big dog. They have all our furniture.

I don't know why I expected it to look different. It didn't. It looked the same.

But it was someone else's house. I couldn't make myself comfortable there.

And that pisses me off. It's my house, goddamn it. I spent the better part of my conscious life there. I kept looking at the walls, thinking "Is this where I lived?"

Switzerland isn't home either, though.

And living in a basement in McLean certainly isn't.

Although all of these places are nice.

I'm basically homeless. I'm bouncing off of other people's houses. I don't like it.

Funny. Last year, around this time, I had my "I just want to leave everything and ride the rails" phase (that phase where everyone told me I would get raped. It was a great phase).

I was basically asking for this, but this isn't what I had in mind.

Bought a harmonica today, my third. I somehow forgot to pack one, and I've just been feeling the urge lately.

Me: Do you sell harmonicas?

Music Store Guy: Yeah, right over here. What'll you be using it for, mostly?

Me: Oh, you know, just those moments when you want to whip out a harmonica.

MSG: Alright, I know those moments.

I wasn't aware there was another use for a harmonica. I guess if you were in a band, you could use a harmonica in that band, and then you'd want something more serious than the six dollar "Pocket Pal".

I have a more serious harmonica. I just found it in my desk drawer one day last spring, after I'd bought my first harmonica at Barnes and Noble that time I didn't want to come home.

There were a lot of times I didn't want to come home. And now I want to go home but it isn't there.

Regardless, now I have a harmonica for use in the states. Hooray for that.

Oh, hey, you, after listening to my melodramatic rant, do you want to help out a friend of mine? Vote for this thing (click "gibt deine erste geborn" or something)!

Love always,

Clara

epic awesome indian food

It was an incredibly slap-happy evening. That's really the only way to describe tonight's events.

Eleni and I met up at school to drive over to her neighborhood (which I could have found with my Garmin, had I a Garmin in my new car, whose name is Benny, by the way. He's not actually mine; he came from the dealership. But we like each other. He's quite agreeable).

We end up meeting up with Claire and Jessica and Jill and going to get Indian food. I really like indian food. This worked well for me.

Jill had this really large umbrella.

Really large.

There were all of these hysterical can't-breathe-laughing moments at dinner, and all of them are escaping me. But I do remember that the sinks in the bathroom were brilliant. The water essentially cascaded down this glass disk, and then it felt like a massage on your hands. I have never encountered a sink about which I have had such strong feelings before.

(I realize I just went far out of my way to avoid ending a clause with a preposition [about], only to end the sentence with a preposition [before]. I really can't figure out a construction that avoids that problem without even more cumbersome awkwardness, so you preposition-nazis can just deal with it)

Jill revealed to us that she doesn't know what to do when people cry in front of her.

Jill: It's so uncomfortable! I'm like, 'Emotions? What am I supposed to do with this?'

Then we walked to this gelato/coffee/tea shop.

Jill: jananajajanajana

Me: What?

Eleni: Didn't you hear her George-of-the-Jungle story earlier?

Me: Oh yeah! Sorry, yeah, I was listening to that. I just didn't put the two together. It's so awkward when that happens and then the person is like "Oh, I guess you weren't listening." I have this purse... I got it at H&M...

Claire: What?

Me: Well... It's more of a clutch, I guess. I brought it to school for a while.

Claire: Oh, a purse! I thought you said... a curse! So I was like... H&M?

Claire had some problems with her hearing in general. And I had some problems with redundant statements.

Me: I like hoodies because hoodies have hoods!

Then we went to Barnes and Noble and sat on the floor and read books. I found one that helped me express my love for Jill as a daughter.

Me: Daughter, You are so special to me. Every time I see you, my heart is filled with joy... You are a very special gift.

Jill: ... Thank you.

(later)

Jill: I should get one of these so that I can express my emotions.

Then we read books about astrology.

Eleni: Clara, you and I would be a fiery passionate match.

Aries and Leo apparently are good for each other, although I really can't picture myself getting fiery and passionate with Eleni.

Me: THIS BOOK LOVES ME! THEY THINK I'M AWESOME! THEY'RE SO RIGHT!

Eleni: This book thinks I want an ornate Venetian mirror. Hm.

Katie and I used to read this intense horoscope book that she had when we were younger. It said that she and I, Scorpio and Aries, were both prone to head injuries. It was interesting.

I thought most of the descriptions of my birthday-horoscope were pretty spot-on though. The book said that my greatest challenge was "coming out of my shell" and that I was endlessly optimistic and fiercely independent, and that I didn't want a "submissive lover". Also, I tended to be detatched, and at my worst, I'm stubborn and a bit of a workaholic. I think that's true more for things I'm passionate/stressed about (e.g. Yearbook) and not so much for things that I see as frustrating wastes of time (e.g. Physics).

Very interesting stuff. I don't think there's anything to it, except the power of suggestion, but at the same time... it is a little bit uncanny, because those descriptions actually suit me pretty well.

All in all, a hilarious night. I'm enjoying this whole end-of-high-school thing.

Love always,

Clara

i better stay away from that plant

Yesterday I was looking at my genetic profile (thanks dad!) and discovered that I have higher than average odds of becoming addicted to heroin. I told Eleni this.

Just now, the Bio kids came out of their last class.

Eleni was carrying a plant.

Me: What's that?

Eleni: It's a poppy plant!

Me: Are you going to make heroin?

Eleni: Yes! And I'm going to give it to you, because you're so likely to get addicted!

Me: Oh no!

It was sort of the quintessential Eleni-Clara conversation.

I talked to mom this morning. They still have guests up to their ears. Including:

• Our old neighbors
• A woman who served on a board with dad, who was 80 years old, and got the flu while she was there.
• My aunt's friend from high school (?)
• The man who used to sell my dad clothes (??)

I really don't know how they're doing it.

I'm so happy to be done with APs. The latin kids are still stressing out about their last one. That was me last year... hah. AP Latin.

I still have a math exam though. Not an AP exam. Just an exam. Apparently the internet has dehumanized me to my online teachers, so they have no compassion for my senioritis-induced laziness.

Blah.

Love always,Clara

"darling I know what you are thinking- NO BLOGGING THIS"

This is essentially going to be a blogpost of things I'm technically not supposed to blog. First is a great quote from an email from my mother. They hadn't realized that if you invite a million people to stay at your house, you end up with a million people at your house.

Mom: We spend our days and nights whispering plots in the hallways and bathrooms figuring out how to get rid of the guests...

Last night we had the "Health, Safety, and Beyond" seminar. It was riveting.

The first hour was basically two alums telling us that college is awesome.

Alum: Drinking can be really really really really really... fun.

Then they took questions.

Taylor: So what are the weeknights like? Like, if you don't have work, you're not going to go to a strip club on a tuesday night...

Alum: Don't make assumptions.

We did talk about some pretty serious issues, though.

Person: What do you do if you don't like your roommate?

Alum: Kill 'em.

Then Ms. H and Mr. Y came out and told us that we should all get credit cards but shouldn't use them, and that we shouldn't drink in college, or that we shouldn't make "bad decisions."

That was all pretty enlightening as well.

They told us to keep what happened there confidential, but I'm not sure why. I don't understand why people want to keep things they say private, unless they're saying bad things about someone else.

Which I guess they shouldn't be doing anyway.

Love always,

Clara

i'm free!

At 11:50, I entered tutorial room 208. And at 3:37, I was done with high school physics forever.
Could not be happier right now.

John: I saw your golden sunglasses and immediately identified you, Clara.

I'm wearing my gold sunglasses today. I think they're pretty fly.

Jonathan: Look at you with your gold shades and your gold hair and your gold... sandals.
Me: And my toes! I'm matching!
Tom: You've always been golden to me.

I have missed my completely weird/dysfunctional relationship with Tom.

Tonight we've got a health and safety seminar for the college-bound among us. That's sure to be a bucket of laughs.
I'll keep you posted.

So happy.

Love always,
Clara

busy day!

Sorry for not blogging yesterday. Or the day before.

Friday I didn't have much of an excuse, except that I went to dinner with Cath and Isabella and Eleni and we were too busy eating hummus for me to blog. And I didn't bring my computer to school. I should do that.

Yesterday I had an awesome excuse, because I was literally at Isabella's house for about 2 hours between 9 am (when I woke up) and 10 pm (when we got home).

I woke up at Cath's, actually, which was chill. I drove over to Isabella's (I'm feeling so capable lately, with all of my driving around DC) and then we went to Tyson's and I bought a dress at Forever 21 that is blue and strapless and too short to wear to school. I'm considering that to be a good thing. I have quite enough dresses that are long enough for school.

So then we rolled back over to Cath's and I tried on said dress and Sam judged me but that's quite alright.

And then we had iced cappuccinos at Open City and freaked out the waiter with sketchy conversations and that was cool too.

And then Isabella and I went to Pasa Thai and ate dinner and then we went to see a horrible movie with some hilarious moments.

"The Back-up Plan" was based on a trashy novel. I know this for a fact. There was a brief period of time, that summer my family went to Spain, when I read a few trashy chick-lit novels, and they read exactly like this movie. The main character was sort of perfect but yet sort of annoying, and she had vast amounts of money that weren't really explained, except that she used to work in "the corporate world," except that it didn't fulfill her, and so she bought a pet store. Animal rights are discussed. Puppy mills are bad. Et cetera.

This morning we watched The Hills.

I feel so weird watching that show. It's sadistic, really. At the beginning, it was just watching random people's lives, which I found a little weird. Now, it's all about watching what happens to someone's life when you watch it; we're only seeing the effects of the reality show on these people, on the reality show. I feel like by watching, I'm helping to fuck up these people's lives.

What are they going to do when people stop watching?

Anyway, that's what I've been up to. I promise that when APs are over, I'll have more time to blog, and more to say. My reading starts soon, so that'll be nice.

Here's what I'm reading: The 10 Best Books of 2009

Love always,

Clara

munchkins?

My blog was plagiarized today.

Also, David and I went to the mall. It was insane. First we went to Urban Outfitters and looked at books and such and that was chill.

Then we decided we were hungry.

So we went to a place called "Fruity Yogurt."

We should have known that this place, with a name like that, would be an all-business yogurt store. We were far too frivolous for the liking of the yogurt-man.

David: Okay, how do we do this? The sign says 'Select your cup size'. I've never done that before!

[giggles]

David: What's the next step!?

[more giggles]

[visible eye roll from yogurt-man]

He was a bit hostile, honestly.

Then we went to Bloomingdale's and he bought a shirt, and the man ringing up the shirt asked whether we were dating. We're most certainly not, but we sort of look alike, which is why the man thought we were dating, apparently. He went on to say that he and his fiance look alike.

And then he went on to say that someone looked like a munchkin from the Wizard of Oz. We had to gather that this person was a guy, and his fiance.

So... he was a gay munchkin.

That's the story of my trip to the mall. Also, I bought white sunglasses. You know, the usual.

Love always,

Clara

problem: solved

There are some things that my parents are better at than I am. One of these things is throwing bitchfits. I think it's my mom, specifically.

I told them my AP situation.

And I took the BC Calc exam, at school, this morning.

Hooray. My rant was for naught. I'm not even disappointed for the sake of the rant; that's how happy I am.

(I will admit that sometimes when something bad happens, I rant about it here, and then if it's resolved, I'm a little bit sad because I liked the rant so much. This is not one of those times.)

The exam itself wasn't that bad. I wrote the college board more letters. I've stopped capitalizing their names.

dear college board,

I will not capitalize your letters. I can even spell things wrong. This may be childish, but I just need to convey how little respect I feel for you.

sincerely, Clara

I also drew some things. A banana, and a chicken hang-gliding over Lake Geneva. I wrote, "this is Switzerland. You should go there."

dear college board,

it is sunny outside and you may not ruin my mood.

sincerely, Clara

I spent the afternoon outdoors, chilling with a pretty random crew. Then I went into a tree to read Nietzche. I found it strangely fitting.

I had so many funny conversations today, but I can't remember any of them. It's a shame; I wish I could recount them here.

Oh, here's one.

David: It would be like yelling at a panda.

Me: Oh, why would you yell at a panda?

David: Because he's my AP Stat teacher.

Me: Oh.

Me: Douchetastic Senior isn't much like Douchetastic Junior I don't think. Douchetastic Senior is just like, 'oh yeah, there isn't a lot going on in my life' whereas junior is like "I AM SPECIAL!"

I really can't elaborate on that one, unfortunately, but I really liked those nicknames.

Me: Nick, do you not understand code words at all?

Nick: I do, but what would 'sex' be a code word for?

Me: No. [redacted] means sex. Seriously?

Nick: Ohhh.

There are so many more Real Conversations at this school.

Love always,

Clara

pissed off

So I came to this country to do APs.

Or, I came to this country to see my friends, under the guise of needing to take APs. I even arrived on saturday, so that I'd be semi-over my jet lag by tomorrow, the date of my first hypothetical AP.

Except, oh wait.

Someone in the bureaucracy did something wrong (shocker of the day). And now my APs start on May 20th. And end May 26th.

What the fuck?

Can I just say that I had no intention of knowing anything about physics or calculus by that point? I had scheduled a brain-erasing appointment on May 14th. I was excited for it.

And now, they insist that I keep my brain going for another two weeks?! Are they insane?! I can't retain this information. Its weight is bearing down on me already. It's going to fall, and I could either struggle to hold it up or I could let it drop now. I think that's what I'm going to do.

This is how I feel. This is how I am going to handle this.

Senior spring has been too hard and I am tired of putting myself under this pressure and I want to stop so that's what I'm going to do.

Anger anger anger. I legit wanted to cry when I got this new schedule. I told people I had to sneeze (which was also true) to explain the legitimate tears in my eyes.

Love always,

Clara

party in the u.s.a.

I'm back in my country!

Sorry for not blogging yesterday. I did a wee bit of babysitting before passing out at 8:30 or something. It was super.

Today was a lot of wandering around tysons, and getting a phone. I spent almost two hours in the at&t store. It was insanity.

Of course, I brought it on myself by not calling the bank and letting them know that I'd be in America and not Switzerland; their brilliant (usually wonderful) algorithms decided I'd been the victim of fraud and froze my credit card, so I had to call them and explain. It was super. I got to share all of this personal information in the middle of the at&t store.

Now I'm living with Isabella which is marvelous. We had dinner with Eleni and Katie tonight.

Katie: The beltway is really good for going from far places to near places.

Me: Yeah... Roads are great.

We went to a vegetarian restaurant.

I'm coming to school tomorrow.

Hooray for lots of things.

Love always,Clara