We're debating...

Whether the guy from Mulan or Demitri from Anastasia is hotter.

I say Demitri. Anastasia was legitimately my favorite movie for a long time.

Viv and I both want to be Blake Lively.

Love always,
Clara

Gossip girl

Daphna and Vivian and I are watching gossip girl straight through. We're up to episode four. And it's almost five in the morning.

This is what we do.

Vivian is musing about how my school has a lot of beautiful people and hers doesn't. It's a shame. Ironic too, because her school has so many more people than mine. Curious curious curious.

Now we're talking about a kid named 'Sherlock' and how he's acting weird.

But flirtatious.

It's very cute.

Vivian has started school already, and I haven't, and neither has Daphna. It's sad. And Daphna's school doesn't get out for summer until like, almost July. I get out in early June. My mom says that the more you pay to go to school, the less you actually go. That's kind of proving to be true.

And the conversation has moved on to colleges. At Princeton, only a certain percentage of people are allowed to get As, so it doesn't benefit you to help your friends. That is EXACTLY why I'm not applying there. It's like, Daphna's dream.

Vivian is going somewhere in Canada. McGill. It's really good, apparently.

I have no idea where I want to go to college. Maybe Swarthmore. Maybe Williams. My dad went there. I'm kind of thinking Pomona would be cool too, because I like california. 

Now I'm thinking about California.

Which leads to all kinds of other thoughts that tend to occur to me around five in the morning.

Oh well. We're off to watch the fourth episode of Gossip Girl.

Love always,
Clara

Camp friends

Are really fun.

Two are here now.

We've been being terribly inappropriate.

As in, the following exchange just happened:

Vivian: YOU ARE SO LESBIAN!

Daphna: I would sleep with ALL of you.

So that's how we roll. We're looking through Vivian's friends on her camera, contemplating homecoming options for her.

I'm excited for homecoming.

Viv wants facebook. I have to surrender the computer now. Darn.

Love always,
Clara

Why I love Barack Obama

Barack Obama is your new bicycle 

This website is amazing. End of story.

Love always,
Clara

"That's why SHE called!"

Sorry for the lack of blogging yesterday. I was kind of mad busy what with GOING TO THE CONVENTION. Obama's speech was beyond amazing if you like that kind of thing.

Which I do.

Anyway, today Daphna is here. She is my wonderful friend from camp. Tomorrow we will be joined by another wonderful friend from camp. It's like a wonderful camp mini-party. We just spent a solid hour on the floor of my front hall with Grace, being random and weird. Hilights:

Daphna: You can make anything sound dirty if you say "I'll verb your noun". Like, "I'll paint your wall!" or "I'll fix YOUR chandelier"

Grace: This kind of feels good, having chains on me.

Everyone: We have a thread situation

Daphna: Get up off the floor.

Me: I can't.

Daphna: That's funny, usually you have no problem getting up

Me: [trying to tell a story about an epiphany on an airplane. Or, rather, getting OFF the airplane]

Me: So we were getting off, and...

Daphna: You were what?

Me: Well, we hadn't gotten off yet. We were ABOUT to get off.

My dog: OH MY GOD WHAT IS GOING ON? YOU'RE ON MY FLOOR!

Now we're delirious. Welcome to my life. Daph will be here until tuesday morning, so look forward to more of these ridiculous moments.

By the way i'll be uploading my convention pictures in the near future. I took a billion. Video too.

Oh, and John Legend and Will. I. Am. did a live-ish version of the 'yes we can' song last night. Be jealous. I took video.

Love always,
Clara

A minor snag

Alas. The Kanye thing didn't work out. Apparently you need ID to get in if you look a day younger than 40 (really. they were carding people who were easily 35. it's just how they roll). Although while waiting for the manager's word on whether i could get in anyways with parental consent, I was telling the bouncers all about how I'm a senior at Georgetown, and it's nice going to college near home. They said "Sorry, we have to check. It's the young face"

I said "Don't worry about it. I get this all the time. I mean, I'm only just 21. The past 4 months have been a lot of this"

They love that stuff, apparently. If they knew I was full of shit, they hid it well.

Then Dad and I left to "go get my purse from the hotel" so that I could have my completely legal ID.

I like that my first attempt at sneaking in to a 21+ event was facilitated by my father.

Whatever. Tomorrow night will have it's share of musical performers. Tomorrow night will be BEAST.

Love always,
Clara

Conventions are fun!

Hey. So the day's not over yet (still have yet to go to the Kanye West concert/event thing) and Joe Biden hasn't spoken yet (planning to watch that on msnbc), but day one so far has been awesome.

Got off the plane, checked in at hotel, ran over to sunfest, this event for solar energy. My friend's uncle was in the band that was playing, so we chilled there for a while, but it was a billion degrees. I think they may have been trying to prove a point- See how much power the sun has to make you miserable? It also has the power to give us alternative energy!

So my friend and I decided to peace out and he showed me this coffee place in Denver. I had this great vanilla milkshake with an espresso shot. Yummy and awake-making. Wonderful.

At that point our mothers decided to also bail from the heatfest and join us for a moment in the car that we have rented, which kind of happens to be a stretch limo. This, i swear, was actually because it was all the car place had left. We called kind of late. But we figure as long as we're paying for it, we might as well enjoy it, so my mom went to her lunch and told the driver to give us (my friend and his mom and I) a tour of Denver.

So that was cool, because our driver knows EVERYTHING. He's really quite cool. 

After that it was convention time. We got on this bus that took us all the way around the Pepsi Center (the scenic route behind the amusement park?) and thus avoided some of the insane lines but not all of them. That's cool. we found seats, which was the priority.

I had this moment when I thought I had lost my camera and came *this* close to dying. I'd dropped it somewhere getting pizza in this HUGE, INSANELY CROWDED place. Mom of course was convinced it was stolen, but I would hear none of it. We asked some DNC volunteer if she'd seen anything, and she said no but I gave her my name and phone number just in case (note that at this point i was on the verge of flipping out beyond reason). About ten minutes later I'm back in my seat checking the floor, and she calls me. It's found.

She never even told me who found it or where. She just said that she 'prayed on it' and gave me a hug. I took a picture of her with my newly found camera. I'll upload it when I get home. This woman is my hero.

So then we heard Bill Clinton speak. He really is great. I was impressed. He spoke at my school a couple years ago (which was way beyond cool), but this speech was better. Although the view was better in my school auditorium...

Oh, the lives we lead.

So now I'm listening to Joe Biden's speech and laughing at his "George... I mean John McCain" freudian slip moment.

Later tonight, as mentioned, I'm going to an event with Kanye West performing. You have no idea how much this thrills me. 

Or maybe you do :)

Anyway, I'm just bragging about my awesome life. 

Forgive me. I'm excited.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. Eva Longoria is staying at my hotel. Saw her in the lobby today in a purple velour sweat suit, big sunglasses and all. She really is short. But beautiful. 

Convention watch

Can't chat for long. I'm off in ten minutes to some kind of solar-energy party.

Whoa.

Met up with the parents, upon whom ridiculous amounts of free stuff have been showered. We have Obama 08 tambourines over here. Straight up insanity. Quite entertaining.

I'll keep you posted. The hotel has wi-fi.

Love always,
Clara

Beautiful

Of course, It will be beautiful when I'm in Denver.

I'm excited about it.

Watching Hil's intro video now. I'm finally understanding why people were so excited about her. I still prefer Bobama, but I get it now.

Love always,
Clara

At the movies

Me, driving over. Don't worry, it was at a notoriously long red light.

Being a creeper, waiting for the others to show up.

Friends!

Katie says: You know, after a certain point it will be a federal offense to keep taking pictures

I take one at the VERY LAST SECOND.

Of course, when I stop into urban outfitters on my way out, I see a whole lomo shelf! Holga is on that shelf!

I was excited.

Lack of blogging today due to PSAT prep and sleep eating most of my time.

i leave for denver tomorrow. Woohoo!

I'll blog from there, I swear. I'll take pictures too.

On a picture note, I ordered new film for my dear Holga. 5 rolls of slide film to be cross processed, and 5 expired rolls because I hear it's interesting. I'm looking forward to it. Holga is too.

Love always,
Clara

The Convention

I'm listening to Nancy Pelosi.

Besides the fact that the teleprompter is painfully obvious, and she had a kind of awkward non-story about her grandson, she basically rocks. Cliche, yes. Adorable anyway, yes.

Drinking hot chocolate. Life is good.

Love always,
Clara

Moment from dinner

"That's true. It's hard to swat flies with internet"

Love always,
Clara

How infuriating

After my moment of Secondhand Serenade frustration last night, I started thinking about how frequently that happens to me. It's quite infuriating. In the past week, there have been 4 songs I heard on the radio that I knew about a while ago. Fall for you, Check yes juliet, Just Dance, and Corona and Lime. The worst part is that in the case of the last two, I only found out about them like, two weeks ago, so it's not like I can say "oh I've known that song forever" when it comes on the radio.

I can say "I've known that song for slightly longer than you"

Which just sounds silly.

These kinds of things drive me crazy.

Love always,
Clara

My Favorite Radio Show

I'm listening to Dawson McAllister.

I do this every sunday night.

It's an advice show, mainly airing in the bible belt.

It kind of makes me appreciate my life.

Like, right now, a girl is calling in and saying she just found out that her cousin is her mother. Or that her dad had sex with his sister's daughter, and she came of that. And THEN she started doing drugs.

Oh dear.

I'm really glad my mom isn't my cousin.

Love always,
Clara

Nightmare

Was just listening to that song "fall for you" by secondhand serenade (which, by the way, I knew before it was on the radio. Ohhh snap). Imagined the circumstances under which that would be played at a party/dance. I can just hear the DJ--

"Now, everyone find an ex. I know they're here... exes, this is for you"

And you would have to slow dance with your exboyfriend/girlfriend.

I don't know why that thought occurred to me.

It's the kind of thing that would be awkward to the point of hilarious.

I would not be able to contain my laughter.

Oh god, now that whole scenario is in my head, bouncing around as ideas like that do.

Yikessss.

Love always,
Clara

Summer read

They can make me read.

But they can't take away my summer.

Summer reading+tanning=not so bad after all.

Love always,
Clara

An evening out

After my Holga moment I was feeling photographic. My photographic mood produced the above.

Love always,
Clara

MY Holga

Beautiful, no? I did the glitter glue myself.

Love always,
Clara

Delivering babies

If by 'babies' you mean 'crazy rolls of 120 film'

I just dropped my film off at the photo place. These are pictures I took at camp with Holga, the camera of my dreams. I swear, I'm kind of in love with its big black chunkiness. Behold

Now, I'm not exactly sure yet whether my undying love is requited. I've never actually seen any of the pictures I've taken. Well, we'll find out in 7-10 business days. Good or bad, I'll put them up here.

I am so excited.

Love always,
Clara

Oh, the good old days

Grace (the 13 year old sister) went to a bat mitzvah tonight. Meaning I got to go dress shopping with her yesterday and put make up on her today. It's fun. She hates half of it, but whatever.

Their grade has had very few parties. She doesn't realize how tragic that is. That was my favorite part of middle school (which is such hell otherwise. 12-14 are not good ages to be)

Real conversation when I was putting make up on her:

Grace: Why do I need make up anyway

Me: So you'll look pretty

Grace: I'm already pretty.

[later]

Me: Don't you want some guy to ask you to dance?

Grace: If he only notices me because I'm wearing make up, I don't want to dance with him anyway. He doesn't know who I am.

Me: [frustrated with this logic, feeling shallow] Well, you're not going to marry him...

Grace: I don't want to dance with someone who's shallow.

Me: Ok whatever. Sit up. You need mascara.

She kind of makes a good point, but I like mascara regardless, and I am aware that there is a shallow part of me. That's fine. 

Love always,
Clara

Halloween

Yes, I'm thinking about it already. And yes, I just decided a moment ago what I'm going to be. And no, I won't tell you. Yet. I'm keeping it a secret for a bit.

Don't worry, you'll find out. In fact, you'll probably get pictures.

But in the process of browsing potential costume ideas (I look through the pre-made costumes for sale for the sake of inspiration, but I always put mine together myself), I was kind of alarmed. On the first page of "teen" costumes, I find:

Malice in Wonderland

Bride of Darkness

Graveyard Fairy

Tragedy Ann

Zombie Cheerleader

For real? Didn't we leave the goth thing behind a while ago? Most teenagers I know aren't actually like that. At all. And I know a lot of teenagers, being one and all.

Anyway, I haven't gotten to the best one.

Funky Punk Pre-teen Pirate

Really? Funky Punk Pirate for Pre-teens?

This never ceases to strike me as hilarious.

And don't even try to tell me this girl is pre-teen anyway.

The world is a weird place.

Love always,
Clara

CVS (My home)

I walked to CVS today. First time in ages. It's only a couple blocks away, so I go check it out when I'm low on necessities like gum. Or lip gloss. You know how it is.

What's great is that I can walk around my town in a "stop genocide" t shirt with zero make up on and not feel awkward. I'm never awkward about stopping genocide, but I generally don't go out in t-shirts.

At CVS though, that's just how I roll.

I used to go almost every day. I spend way too much money at CVS. I sort of even got to know some of the people who worked there (it's kind of my dream to work there next summer). One, Natasha, always smiled at me. I like Natasha.

I went the other day, but besides that, I hadn't been to CVS in about two months (what with being at camp, busy with the internship, and then being in nantucket)

Imagine my surprise to show up today and discover that NATASHA IS PREGNANT. And visibly so. This is new.

I'm excited for her. She doesn't know me (except perhaps as that girl who never has her CVS card, but will give you her phone number for the discount), but I kind of want to know if it's a boy or a girl.

Maybe I just have a weird interest in other people's lives...

Love always,
Clara

This is why...

... thou shalt not friend family members on facebook:

Status-

[My Cousin] sez come to our olympic party!!!! i will be dressed as a slutty italian soccer player!!

That is NOT something I wanted to know. Or needed to know. Or ever cared to even imagine.

Love always,
Clara

The great thing about summer

And having a car.

I drove this morning to my friend's house and then her country club. We chilled by the pool for like, three hours. And then I dropped her off and drove home (which was something of an adventure, actually)

But I am still bewildered by the chill-ness of it all.

Quote of the day:

[My friend and I are lying by the pool, tanning]

Katie: So what's your opinion on moral relativism?

That basically sums up our friendship.

Love always,
Clara

Spin Art!

So I'm on the LGpedia (for those unfamiliar, it's the wikipedia of the lonelygirl15 world), reminiscing and the like. Don't judge. I liked that show, and can't wait until September 16th, the premier of the new series-- the resistance!

Anyway, I stumbled upon this beautiful piece of internet culture:

Spin art- Recreational activity of the Order, as mentioned by Daniel in "Miss Me?"

(For the sake of context, The Order is an evil organization whose other recreational activities include seeking eternal life for 'elders' and murdering young girls to steal their blood)

I laughed at that for a solid five minutes.

Some things can just set me off.

Love always,
Clara

Obama VP drama!

I love it. Announcement tomorrow, heavy speculation tonight. I am practically bathing in it. My parents leave for the convention tomorrow, and Grace and I are sticking around until wednesday. Politics=fun.

Note to self: Clara, do your summer reading. Don't speculate anymore. Sure, you think it'll be Biden. Cool. Now do your work

Love always,
Clara

Why I love my Dad

The other day, I found ^this^ on my stairs.

This is why we're cool. We communicate via New Yorker cartoons.

Love always,
Clara

Real Conversations with my mom

So Dad brought home my car (or, as the parents like to call it for the sake of their own sanity, the 'third family car' which i will be primarily driving). It's a red volvo cross country. quite pretty.

Anyways, i was talking to mom about it:

Me: I want to put an obama sticker on the "third family car", a term I will use with considerable... [searches for word]

Mom: Respect? Oh, thank you.

Me: I was going to say irony. But sure

Love always,
Clara

Gorgeous evening

Took some photos yesterday, coming home from whatever:

 

 

 

Love always,
Clara

More Real Conversations

Last night, on the phone with a camp friend:

Her: I should call [him] to see if he'll bring poker chips and a football to the party tomorrow, but I'm not going to hang up on you. Clara, you're more important to me than poker chips and a football

Me: Seriously?! Sweet!

Love always,
Clara

You drive the way you ski

I have decided this. It all comes down to your natural tendency to be timid or take risks, combined with the confidence that comes with practice.

But I have seen it in my parents, in myself, and in a friend whom I have skied with. You drive how you ski.

I haven't been skiing in a while. We bailed on the yearly ski trip this year in favor of harassing Iowans (see posts below).

Anyway, I drove dad to work this morning on roads I rarely take, and then drove home myself (long story why I was even doing this). I think I'm becoming a more confident driver. The one thing that tends to freak me out is navigation, so being fine on these roads that I'm not so familiar with was a good sign.

Love always,
Clara

I am an addict

My drug of choice? Gum. At the moment? Trident Xtra Care, Cool Mint flavor

Yum.

I got the interesting metro car today (on the way to PSAT tutoring). We had a midget and a woman possibly dressed as... a gypsy? Big flowy skirt, beads, various tattoos and body art... etc. I felt quite privileged.

Took a billion pictures on the way home. Will upload later.

Love always,
Clara

People I once hated

I just talked to the head of my old middle school. He was calling to talk to my parents about my sister (no big deal), but they weren't home so we chatted for a moment. Hilights:

[Phone rings]

Me: Hello?

Mr. S: Hello Clara, how are you?

Me: I'm great, how are you?

Mr. S: I have an ache in my shoulder, and I think I've got that Restless Leg Syndrome

Me: Well that's a shame

Mr. S: I saw the ad and thought to myself "if all these other people have this disease, why can't I?"

Me: I suppose everyone's entitled

Mr. S: So why did you call?

Me: Does my sister have Mr. P? [[Mr. P is my advisor and a middle school science teacher. way cool]]

Mr. S: I can't tell you that! Your sister is an independent woman. She doesn't answer to you

Me: Do you have siblings, Mr S?

Mr. S: Five of them

Mr. S: So are you flying out to Denver soon?

Me: Yeah Grace and I leave wednesday.

Mr. S: I'm a McCain supporter

Me: I might have to hang up on you.

Me: Okay well I'll tell them you called

Mr. S: Vote dubya

Me: Will do. bye.

The funny thing is that all through 7th and 8th grade, none of us were sure what to make of this man. He was the guy who could give you detention and possibly bring you to tears, but also the guy who could make you dance with him (against your will) in the middle of the hallway. He would give you change for the vending machine, but he'd try to swindle you out of a dollar in the process. And he's bald. And Irish.

His daughter is in my grade. I can't imagine living with him. I always just want to know, is he always like that? According to her, he is.

That must be one hilarious family dinner.

Love always,
Clara

At which point clara is a little bit stalkerish

Because I like bandwagons, and have a slight girl-crush on all three of these girls:

   

The lovely nonsociety girls, Julia, Meghan, and Mary (in that order).

Love always,

Clara

P.S. I swear this isn't completely out of the blue- one of them posted the link to the website that makes these picture things. [I'm not just a total creeper!]

Blast from the past!

And by "the past" I mean roughly a week ago

Good times in nantucket. Guess which one is me!

((hint- I'm the girl))

Love always,
Clara

Am I the only one...

... who searches for wisdom on facebook bumper stickers?

Because I so do. All the time. 

Found some just now, too. This is exactly what I have been needing lately. Something silly to say "hey, chill out!"

Thank you, facebook bumper stickers. I'm going to be hanging out there more often. :)

Love always,
Clara

Life as a volunteer

I just got back from an hour of phonebanking for Barack Obama. Good stuff. Honestly, after the first few calls (when my fear of calling people on the phone threatens to kill me), it's way fun. You get to talk to people. Generally pretty interesting people too.

Today I was calling up supporters to get them to volunteer too, so it was a mostly friendly crowd. But in the winter my family went to Iowa to canvass and phonebank, and some people were pretty harsh. I mean, I don't blame them. People in Iowa get pounded with politics. But honestly, being the first caucus state would be the only reason I would ever LIVE in Iowa.

That's a lie. I was the only one of my family to genuinely like the little town we spent a week harassing. The rest of them were like "EWW OMG WHERE IS STARBUCKS?". Or that was mostly Grace (the thirteen year old), but the general sentiment was the same. I thought it was cool, like in one of those Juno-type movies where nothing really happens but it's great.

Anyways, I've phonebanked before, with some pretty hostile people. But it's fun.

Today this one guy tried to convert me to Ron Paul. That was hilarious. The conversation:

Me: Hi, this is Clara from the Barack Obama campaign, and I was wondering if you wanted to volunteer sometime in the next couple weeks...

Ron Paul Guy: Oh I switched over to Ron Paul

Me: Oh um, have fun with that

RPG: But tell me, do you love the constitution?

Me: [awkwardly] Well yes, I quite like it

RPG: And don't you think this war in Iraq is illegal?

Me: Well, I think there's something fundamentally wrong with it

RPG: If you decide you love the constitution, give me a call

Me: Okay then... I have your number...

I think it's important to be involved. Even that guy (who seems a little out of his mind) at least has an opinion, and is fighting for it.

Apathy and I aren't exactly BFFs.

Love always,
Clara

pediatrics

Yes, I still go to a pediatrician. Yes, I am consistently the oldest patient in the waiting room by several years. Usually the 13 year old sister is the second oldest.

What fun. 

Anyway, today was particularly exciting because i got the first shot of the HPV vaccine (after long debate with my mother. the fact is that regardless of my sexual activity NOW (which is what my mom is worried about) (which i'm NOT doing, btw), at some point I might get HPV and I'd rather knock cervical cancer off my list of ways to die.

That's how I see it.

Although the shot hurt like a bitch. I've taken to bringing my iPod places where i'll have to get stuck with needles (doctor, dentist, etc), and I am so beyond glad I had it today.

And I get two more. Lucky me. At least I won't die...

Love always,
Clara

I can't sleep

Which usually at 11:46 would not be a problem.

However, tomorrow morning at some insane hour i have a doctor's appointment (school forms and the like), so I have to wake up at 6:40.

Not. Cool.

Anyway, so far I've listened to chill acoustic type music for half an hour, rolled around, and sat still long enough to feel my arms go numb (which is supposed to happen, by the way, i have no medical issues. you're just usually asleep by the time it does).

What fun.

So I figured I'd share this little slice of my insomnia with you.

Love always,
Clara

I have decided

that raisins are nature's skittles.

they're small, chewy, and probably less healthy than their fruitiness implies.

Love always,
Clara

Resistance!

I have a confession: I am/was a lonelygirl15 addict. It was a solid source of excitement, suspense, and straight up entertainment for me for over a year. Then it ended (in a kind of bafflingly open way). I was sad.

But then...

There's a new series coming. Same problems, at least two of the same characters (Sarah and Jonas), but with an added element of bad-ass.

It is called the resistance.

And I am so beyond excited. I don't want to wait until september for this show!

If you ever find yourself with too much free time, check this show out.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. just for the cool kids out there,

you're observant

I have been having so much fun with this

You know those fake computer voices (like in this video)? (Yes, I AM an addict, don't judge)

Yeah, i just stumbled upon a website that makes those.

Hours of entertainment are ahead of us.

check it.

Love always,
Clara

Special Guest!

So This isn't any normal blog. Oh no. This is a special guest star blog!! starring clara's amazing friend who is eating dried papaya with clara right now and watching some sweet performance poetry. AAAANNND some guy's parents just walked in on him and this girl gettin it on...ouch....

but yeah. Basically clara and i have been friends since 7 grade. WOW 7 grade was ridiculous. 

so i'm kinda new to this whole blog thing but honestly i find it sort of ridiculous (kind of like 7 grade). I don't mean to insult any of you whose entire life is blogging but i really don't see the point of posting all your thoughts on the internet. Maybe i'm just a private person (which isn't any surprise all things considered) but i think that the point of having thoughts is that they're just that; thoughts. Thoughts are the one thing we can keep to ourselves no matter what; they're totally private. And i get that you don't have to post EVERY thought but it opens up the possibility of an invasion of privacy. I also understand that i'm being a little hypocritical  by posting this but whatever i accept it. 

If all of you are like clara though i love you even though i disagree with your choice of hobby haha. Ok time to go be a dork with clara. Food is calling. 

Hello again, clara here. Yeah, I'm going to peace out too. Be back soon. Madness is to ensue.

Love always,
Clara (and clara's friend!)

I'll confess

Do you ever just want to watch someone else's awesome life unfold?

I guess if you read personal blogs you do. I'm not giving you much other than my life.

But what about me? Where do I get my other-people's-lives fix?

I'll admit it

I'm a nonsociety addict.

I'm a borderline nonsociety wannabe.

okay, I AM a nonsociety wannabe.

Check out their sites. They're cool. A lot of people seem to hate them for one reason or another (beyond me...) but i love reading their blogs.

Love always,
Clara

Pictures

I love them. Taking them, looking at them, being in them. I just spent a while looking at pictures of nantucket. It's like being there in that moment again for me i guess. Which, in the case of nantucket, is mad fun.

Once at camp, I was having a philosophical moment (camp is a big place for these kinds of things), and talking about how time passes. I was filming at the moment (for my camp video [which is posted]) and said "This is all we can do is document it. Look! This is happening! Look at us existing!"

at which point I broke into giggles.

But it's true. Pictures and video, to me they're the only real ways to prove something happened. Writing is biased. Pictures just show what they show, read into that what you will. They show a moment.

I like those moments.

Love always,
Clara

Here I am

I know I should be reading a book about the mayflower.

But I'm not. Instead I'm contemplating how there is nothing to do.

Besides, of course, read that book.

Any better suggestions?

Love always,
Clara

I went crazy last night...

... on iTunes!

Ain't no party like an iTunes party.

It was late at night, i was exhausted, and I thought to myself "wow, HOW HAVE I EVER SURVIVED WITHOUT THESE 23 SONGS?"

My newest additions to the music collection:

Here it goes again - Ok Go

Jerk It out - Caesars

Stars - Switchfoot

Save Tonight - Eagle-Eye Cherry

Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz

Three Little Birds - Bob Marley

California - Phantom Planet

I'll be there for you - The Rembrandts

Time - Chantal Kreviazuk

A.M. Slow Golden Hit - Hotel Lights

Naked As We Came - Iron & Wine

Summer Skin - Death Cab for Cutie

So Sick - Ne-Yo

Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake

Do You Realize? - The Flaming Lips

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham!

Modern Way - Kaiser Chiefs

Kids - MGMT

Soul Meets Body - Death Cab for Cutie

Better Together - Jack Johnson

Time to Pretend - MGMT

Paper Planes - M.I.A.

Just Dance - Lady GaGa

I had a freaky dream again last night. I'm having a lot of dreams recently. It was about the beginning of school, but it wasn't bad, because my teacher didn't show up and instead we played some kind of complicated game involving defining words and circles, and I tried to help someone on their painting of a sunset before I realized who the person was. Once I figured out whose painting it was, I felt kind of awkward about helping. There was also a painting that person did with american flags on it. Everyone was hanging out and talking about these paintings, so I did too, but I felt awkward for reasons I won't explain.

I don't know what that's supposed to mean. It might mean I'm going crazy. Or I should paint something. I'm awful at painting.

Love always,
Clara

Blogger has this cool feature...

... or it might just be my computer.

When i'm typing the title of the post, it does auto-complete. Which means that before I type everything, it shows a sampling of EVERY POST TITLE I EVER HAD. in ANY blog. And, as I have mentioned, I had a private blog for a long while. Some hilights:

"Dancing at discos, eating cheese on toast"

"Genocide parties are our specialty"

"I should stop having thoughts"

"Mr Wooster, are you a homosexual?"

"My endodontist smells like cinnamon and cloves"

"The 8th dimension and Macaroni"

"The inaugural session of the midnight scrabblers"

"What was today?"

These I guess are the kinds of things I think about, or at least find interesting enough to blog about. At that point the blogging was entirely for my own benefit. Now it's still the same, actually, but I censor some of it. I promise, you DON'T want to know what's really going on in my head sometimes. Especially if I know you.

Just kidding. I'm sure it would be enlightening. 

But at the same time, there's a reason people keep some thoughts to themselves.

I'm not sure what I think about that actually. I've decided I'm not going to apologize for myself, but at the same time, discretion is always a good thing.

There must be some kind of natural equilibrium...

Love always,
Clara

Cool

In my exhausted web-wandering, I've discovered a pretty cool website.

Love always,
Clara

Home again

Home from nantucket. Darn. And I got three hours of sleep last night (staying up until 5am talking about nothing is one of my favorite hobbies) so the energy level is kinda low.

And a certain friend of mine steals the covers.

I'm watching the olympics now. I wish I could do anything like that. The divers are freaking amazing. I wish I had talent like that.

My eyes are fluttering. Sleep would be really good right now, but I don't want to mess up my sleep cycle and wake up at 4 in the morning and have problems. I should get some coffee or something.

This is how i rationalize almost everything.

Love always,
Clara

Real conversations with my dad

Dad: I'm going to take Grace to the Juice Bar

Me: Bad idea dad

Dad: Why not?

Me: At this hour, being an adult in that line is like being a leper

Dad: I won't be in line. I'll just stand outside

Me: Dad, that whole STREET is like, a runway. You really just can't be on it.

Dad: I'll hide with the dog on a side street

Me: I guess that's alright, but you might want to bring a big coat or something

Love always,
Clara

I had this theory

when I was younger, that I could fly.

I'd had a dream in which I could fly, and in this dream, i felt a tickle or something in the lower middle bit of my head (presumably in my brain). I logically arrived at the assumption that this was the part of the brain that could control flight.

As a child, I watched too much of the science channel, so I knew that that particular part of the brain was the amygdala, which (of course) was a more primitive part of the brain controlling anger and other instinctive sorts of things. Like flying, i figured. I was seven.

So i supposed if I could jump off the diving board at the country club, and in that mid-air moment activate this dormant primitive part of the brain, and just not hit the water, I'd be flying, easy. As you might guess, it didn't really work...

A lot of crazy things make sense when you're seven.

Sometimes I think this whole reinvention thing is a little like that. Just jump and don't hit the water. Just be someone else. Easier said than done.

But a lot of crazy things make sense when you're sixteen, so i'm sticking with this.

Love always,
Clara

My old-ass house

I live in an old-ass house.

This causes some problems. We went through hell to get wi-fi everywhere. My allergies do not thank me for 200 years worth of dust. The floorboards creak.

But I love it.

I never realized how much I like it until we came here to nantucket, where we rented yet another old-ass house. It's nice, but really old. Which is cool.

My other friends staying here have rented a house that was just built recently. It's still got that good old nantucket charm, but it's not the same. I feel like i've entered suburbia when I visit. Nantucket is not supposed to have suburbia. Hell, I don't think the WORLD should have places like that. I don't like things so generic.

Anyway, none of this even occurred to me until my friend said "oh yeah, we could go hang out at your old-ass house".

"I like my old-ass house" I said. I tastefully omitted the fact that i actually prefer my old-ass rental house to hers.

I figured it would be less polite to say "or we could go chill at your generic-ass suburban residence". I'm not offended. She likes that kind of thing.

Homogeny isn't really on my list of faves.

So I'll take my old-ass house, with its possible ghosts and crumbly bricks. That's how I do.

On another note, I just read an xkcd comic about how you can easily move the hyphen in these sorts of things, turning "old-ass house" into "old ass-house"

I love my ass-house.

Love always,
Clara

Just woke up

And it seems I may be the first one awake, just because I haven't seen anyone else. But then at the same time, it's after 10, so that's pretty unlikely. 

I just figured I'd mention that I had like, five dreams last night about one thing (and then one dream about something completely different). What does that mean? I have no idea.

But I kept waking up because my room here clicks. Every once in a while there's this awful clicking noise. 

It's pretty weird, and begins to kill me when I'm trying to sleep. 

So this is me complaining about it.

Considering I've only been awake for 20 minutes, I don't have much to say other than that.

Love always,
Clara

Things I say out loud

While sitting on a bench (people-watching, of course):

Girl with cool purse: *walks by*

Me (to friends on bench): I like her purse. I think she heard me say that. I hope she heard me say that. I hope it brightened her day.

Girl: *turns around and waves*

Me (shouting down the sidewalk): Cool purse!

This is the kind of thing i actually say out loud. That happened tonight.

Love always,
Clara

Spinach Salad

Is apparently a pretty significant thing in this family. enough to provoke a full-on fight between mom and the rest of us.

Silly? I think so. But sometimes, that's just how we roll. Silly is this family's collective middle name. That's what the 's' is for in my initials. When i was baptized, they called me "Clara Silly"

I'm listening to music now, and being in a general good mood, despite this spinach salad debacle. Facebook always helps.

Love always,
Clara

Weird dream

I woke up this morning with the weird sense that I had had a really good dream, and that something good was in the works. Not a bad feeling to wake up to. But I couldn't remember to save my life what the dream was about.

Until now. I remember now.

And now it's just making me wish that it could be real, and it's not, and I don't know if it'll ever be. 

Don't you hate it when you prefer your dreams to reality? I would give anything to make that happen, but I can't and it won't and it's torturing me. I keep thinking of it as if it were something that actually happened.

It really was a great dream.

Oh well. Reality's pretty great too, on the sunny beautiful island of Nantucket. I'm about to go out for breakfast in a moment. Life is good. Not quite as good as my dream, but really good.

Love always,
Clara

I might be iTunes's biggest customer

And i just went on a shopping spree.

New additions to the infinite playlist:

Fix You - The Offspring

Sleeping In - The Postal Service

Change - Taylor Swift

Fast Car - Wyclef Jean

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman (I searched 'fast car' and figured i'd get both)

Always on my mind - Phantom Planet

To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens

9 Crimes - Damien Rice

We Get On - Kate Nash

Foundations - Kate Nash

Corona and Lime - Shwayze

Can you tell I'm a little bit random sometimes?

Love always,
Clara

Hey there

You know what's great? when your parents decide they don't really care that much what you're up to or if you ever come home. That's fun sometimes. Particularly on an island with a large gathering of your friends.

Anyways, I'm back on the precarious internet connection, waiting for someone to call me so we can go out and hit up the happenin' nantucket nightlife. I like it here.

I bought a kids' watch yesterday. I had had one (big and green with flowers), but it broke at camp. I'd bought it at the toystore that was basically my home when i was little. So yesterday I was walking around and I went to the pharmacy. And at the pharmacy, I found these cute little kid watches. I bought a green one with bumblebees and flowers. 

I am such a five year old, but I love it. Welcome to my life.

I am so sunburned. Note to self: Wear sunscreen on your back. Just because you don't want someone else to touch you, that doesn't mean it's worth the possible skin cancer. Deal with it clara. 

There are so many songs I've heard here on other people's ipods that I want to download, but don't know the names of, and don't remember enough to look it up. How incredibly frustrating is that?

Oh well.

Life goes on.

Love always,
Clara

Raspberry hot cocoa mix

Hello again!

We went out last night, to the happenin' nightlife of nantucket island. We in fact went out three times in varying groups of people, adding and subtracting siblings. Quite fun.

At the Stop&Shop I found something hilarious (for a variety of ever-evolving reasons). It's really only funny if you know the million backstories, but for those who do...

Witness:

Love always,
Clara

Greetings from nantucket!

Quote of the day:

My mother- "If you have a slumber party and you sneak out, please take your cell phone"

Glad to know the parents trust me.

Sorry I've been kind of missing-in-action, but it turns out our rental house here doesn't have wi-fi. Which makes it hard to document every interesting thought i have, which is what I've gotten used to doing. Darn. Now I'm using the sporadic connection of the restaurant next door, so that works out I guess. Just forgive me if the posting is not as frequent as it has been.

Besides the general lack of internet connectivity, our house is sick. There's a basement apartment which I get completely to myself... mad cool. I love it.

I just went to the beach with a bunch of people here. Quite a nice beach, really. I liked it. Anyways, I got to hang out with Brisbane, the cutest puppy I've seen in a while. Good times. We're all hanging out again tomorrow, plus even more people. I like it here. 

Anyways, I've got to go. Internet connection is precarious.

Love always,
Clara

Blogging before taxis

Is becoming a particular talent of mine.

If you can call blogging a talent. Which you probably can, but not in my case. I wouldn't call this a 'master of blogging' type of thing. It's more of a 'Clara is documenting basically every moment of her life, maybe we will read it' type of thing.

I do hope though that someone someday reads this. I can hear my own echoes in here. It's a little creepy, actually...

Love always,
Clara

Simultaneously hilarious and maybe smart

It's a guide for parents to learn to text, to increase the communication between parents and kids so that the kids are less likely to do drugs. Kind of makes sense, but I don't get the impression that whoever wrote this texts much him/herself. for example, if someone texted '143' to me, I would not realized that they loved me. I would think they were trying to be secretly cryptic and mysterious or something. Like, "oh, a mystery number". If someone sent me 'ily' on the other hand, I would be happy. Unless it were like, a creeper or something. You know what I mean.

Here's the "Time to text" parents' guide to texting

On that note, I might mention that I would personally be freaked out if my parents were textually active. I told my mom once (a couple years ago) that I sent her a text message from camp, and she said, "In the mail?"

And until about a month ago, my dad wrote his text messages like letters or emails. as in, "Clara, please call me when you need me to pick you up. Love, Dad".

I don't expect much else from parents when it comes to technology. If that same text had said "idk when 2 pick up call 4 ride?" I would probably think my dad was on crack.

Some level of generational divide is probably necessary. IMHO (in my humble opinion [textspeak] [but not really. i never say it] [except just now]).

Love always,
Clara

I am currently...

... dancing around my room in my underwear, listening to Hilary Duff, and packing for Nantucket. For which I am so inconceivably excited.

Hence the urge to dance.

Random thought: If a misconception is a mistaken idea, is a conception an idea? a correct idea? is a correct idea a taken idea? is a conception a taken idea? mis- is such a funny prefix.

Love always,
Clara

Quotes of the trip

The best quotes of the entire trip:

Dad: You know Paris Hilton's dog's name?

Haverford tour guy :You can just FEEL the love and excitement washing over you!

Dad: After that a lot of colleges went bisexual.

Swarthmore info girl: If you could nod your heads that would be really exciting for me.

These people are so fantastically enthusiastic. I guess you have to be to spend a summer convincing people to go to your college. But wow.

Love always,

Clara

College trip, part one

Hey! I'm back. Here are the first impressions:

Haverford is really pretty. Great campus. Apparently the food is not great. One issue: It's really close to Bryn Mawr, physically and in terms of sharing classes. Which is cool when it comes to taking more varied classes, but not so much when it's throwing off the ratio of guys to girl by a whole bunch. 

I like my ratios nice and even.

Anyway, besides that i liked it plenty.

Swarthmore also seems mad cool. Both schools were originally quaker, and that comes through a lot, particularly at Swarthmore. It's very non-competitive (they like to use the word 'collaborative' instead), but it's still intense academically. I'm a nerd. I like that.

Also, the first semester freshman year, all your courses are pass/fail. Required. Which is supposed to get you into the mindset of learning for learning's sake, which I'm all about.

Definitely giving that one another look later on, when there are actually students there...

Both are a 15-20 minute train ride from Philadelphia, which is a 2 hour tops train ride from home. Which makes random visits easy enough, but not *too* easy.

Now I have to pack for nantucket. Life is hard.

Love always,
Clara

From a hotel in PA

I am sitting on my bed at the best western. This is proof that I am addicted to blogging every moment of my life, when I pull out the laptop to declare that I took a train here and am going to bed.

Cool story though: my dad and I navigated out of philly by a crappy map and the moon. Literally. The moon. We had no idea which road we were on for a while, but we figured it had to be the right general direction if the moon was there.

It's a good thing he's remotely outdoorsy. I wouldn't have remembered that a waxing crescent would be in the west.

Love always,
Clara

Off to the real world

My dad and I are going to visit colleges. Leaving pretty soon, actually. 

Haverford and Swarthmore. 

whoa.

gotta go actually, but i will be documenting this, don't you worry.

Love always,
Clara

Last day

of this wonderful internship. Apparently I'm supposed to keep the details of this new project on the d-l, but I can share this with you.

You know what would be great? If you helped this out.

Also, in October (or thereabouts) I'm going to post a link to our website. Get excited. It will blow your mind (if you're an activist interested in FDA reform, that is)

Love always,
Clara

Vehicular drama

Not drama so much as frustration. I want a car. My parents (more dad than mom) have agreed to buy me one, because they are truly fantastic people. I very much appreciate this. 

But I am getting impatient with their indecision.

See, for a while, the plan was that they would buy me a subaru forester. It's a nice car, not too expensive, quite safe, just wonderful. 

So I was totally fine with that, had picked out a color and everything (it's actually like a dark teal green. it would match my eyes lol)

And then the other day my dad mentions that he'd rather go with a volvo, and he's thinking about an XC70 or V70 or something. Cool by me. Just decide!

So I really don't care either way. If you have an opinion or secret insider info on one of those (as in "don't get a forester; they spontaneously combust!"), let me know. Honestly, I know nothing about cars. And then at the same time I have almost no say in the matter, considering it makes my parents feel happier to call it the "third family car". Whatever. I'm a 16 year old girl. If it can get me to people's houses and I get to pick the color, I'm happy.

But all this waiting and mind changing is driving me crazy.

Love always,

Clara

Love these shoes.

I am literally in love with these. Went to DSW tonight and bought a pair. 

It's like, remember those sugar shoes? If those grew up, they would be these.

Love always,
Clara

Great Quote

Found this (where else?) on a bumper sticker on facebook.

"Be loved but never love. Attach but never combine. Trip but never fall. To be broken is better than shattered. Tell him of your strength but never of your past. Be trustworthy but never trust. Be cracked but never open"

That kind of inspires me, not gonna lie.

Love always,
Clara

I touched dog blood today.

Ew? but it's for the sake of other dogs with cancer, so I guess I can manage.
I am so tired. and sorry last night was weird, I was having a moment. :)
Now i'm waiting for the dog cells to incubate. They should be done pretty soon, actually. But what a pain, waiting. I really want to take a nap
Figured I'd get a blog post in here somewhere.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. This company i'm visiting gave me... A LOGO HIGHLIGHTER! highlight of my life!

OH MY GOD

This is becoming a list of things that cheer me up. Witness:

Like, wow.

Also, it seems more dogs are narcoleptic than i would have imagined. Tragic, but at the same time adorable. At least they don't have to worry about falling asleep at the wheel. I had a friend whose sister had narcolepsy, and she couldn't drive because she might fall asleep.

Dogs don't have that problem. So it's just cute.

Love always,
Clara

just in case...

... going commando wasn't enough, there's nothing like surfing the apple website to give me a sense of smug superiority.

I love me some apple.

I'm also listening to the Abercrombie & Fitch website music. I don't so much like the clothes (I'm not opposed, but I'm not a worshipper). But I like the playlists.

This one song right now is like "I LOOK GOOD girlfriend you look good I LOOK GOOD"

I can imagine hearing that while shopping. Subliminal messaging much? Loves ittt.

Love always,
Clara

OH, WAIT

I just remembered something that completely just reversed my mood.

I'm not wearing underwear!

Any signs of depression have completely evaporated. Thanks, friend who went to biking camp and told me about this amazing phenomenon, borne of wearing spandex all the time but continued for the sake of awesomeness.

Love always,
Clara

This is not what i wanted to do here

but I need to vent, or rant, or something.

I'm in one of those moods where I need to be random and crazy or i'm going to cry.

I just watched the series credits of lonelygirl15, which did not help my emotional state.

And I'm just freaking out for no reason at all and I just ate like, a full cup of raisins and chocolate chips. No joke. And that just makes me want to cry even more.

So i'm checking out Julia Allison's website (if you're unfamiliar, http://julia.nonsociety.com) and there's a music video lipsyncing thing of some song about loving your body. And so i said to myself, "yes, give me that"

which makes me think of camp, and a certain thing we used to say. And that thing was "GIVE IT TO ME HARD, WEATHER GODS!"

Which is just so weird (there's a long and elaborate backstory, i swear). And right now I just need to say it, or something like it, to keep me sane. If I'm not being ridiculous, I'm probably going to break down within the next ten minutes.

I know for a fact that in the next ten minutes i'll either be crying or having a giggle fit. It's just one of those moments.

I'm hoping it's the latter.

I don't even know what's gotten into me. I just have this chaotic energy and i want to make it something positive, but it's not looking good as of now.

Yikes.

Sorry. I didn't mean for this blog to be about my inner dilemmas or whatever. I meant for it to be about... my life or something. You know what? Right now, this IS my life. So deal with it.

Now I'm pissed off at something.

Well, it's better than being fragile.

I'm going to go find somewhere more productive to focus this strange feeling. I cannot dwell.

Love always,
Clara

I need to stop

Television just makes me annoyed.

I'm watching "picture this"

Why am I doing this?

I really need to stop.

I'm losing faith in humanity.

Someone just said:

"It's more than gossip, it's a rumor"

please kill me. or ashley tisdale.

Love always,
Clara

The Postal Service is amazinggg

I'm listening to 'we will become silhouettes' and 'nothing better' on repeat.

I love it.

Random, I know, but it was necessary.

I am so bored out of my mind. I might just go to bed early because I have nothing better to do. Is that the saddest thing you've ever heard? I mean, I'm also pretty tired, but wow. My life has reached a new level of uninterestingness.

Which i'm sure is great advertising for the good ol' blog... :)

Well, you're reading, aren't you?

Who are you?

Maybe your life is currently more interesting than mine. I hope, for your sake, that it is.

Love always,
Clara

I'm not a fan of my computer right now. CTY VIDEO!

Because it's being an idiot. Or it was. Now it's okay, but i've basically taken away it's options. It could shut down Safari I guess, but that's been done so many times...

Despite my computer annoyances, I *finally* made a video of all my camp footage. It is epic, if I say so myself. Four minutes of insanity.

song: It's the end of the world as we know it by REM

I love that place. More than anything.

Love always,
Clara

I am at work.

I believe that implies I should be working.
Again with the focus. I've been back half an hour from lunch and already, I'm so over this whole being focused thing.
Bad Clara. Bad. Stop.

Okay I really need to stop posting here when I should be working
Bye then. For now.

Love always,
Clara

My attention span

... is the size of an ant's front leg.
This is a true statement.
I'm trying, really, to focus on work, but I can't. And I've already taken a get-focused bathroom break. So I don't know what to do with myself.
In the time that I've been not-focusing, I've made some pretty interesting discoveries though. For example, I have decided that today I am dressed in a post-modern way. I'm kind of rocking the stripes-and-polka-dots look, but it's 100% intentional. And therefore postmodern.
Also, I've realized that my bookbag has very little structural integrity.
So that's enlightening.

I need to get back to work. Oh dear.

Love always,
Clara

Awake again

All dressed up with nowhere to go. At least for another twenty minutes.

The wonderful parents have decided they're too busy to take me to work. Or let me rephrase that. They were always too busy to take me to work, but usually they're not too busy to take me to my train. Not today. I'm taking a cab.

I'm up in my room listening to Katy Perry and wondering who just came in. Hold on.

It was the housekeeper. don't judge.

Anyways, I had the weirdest dream last night. I was talking to this guy about how the last Harry Potter book was like, 80 pages (too short) and I was telling him about my summer. He was blown away.

I think I've been envisioning that conversation too frequently, now that it's popping up in my dreams. Again with the sociopathy. 

Whatever :)

Love always,
Clara

So not the drama

Kim Possible is my hero

But anyways.

I swear to god, no school drama will be on this blog. I am trying very hard to keep this sane. But a dear friend of mine is having some drama. or revisiting some drama. So i will distract myself with a quote from my days of january, when I happened to be dating a guy. I swear, this is not drama. 

In January, it snowed. Where I live, by the river, we didn't get much snow. Where the then-boyfriend lived, they got a lot. 8 inches. So, i wrote on his wall.

Clara wrote

at 11:03 pm on January 17th, 2008

8 inches?

wowwwwww

out of context? awkward. Figured i would share that particular hilarious moment with the interweb.

Love always,
Clara

Being a stupid girl

I'm on the phone with a dear friend of mine.

We're talking about boys.

why do we do this?

Girls are so stupid. We like boys, we want them, we think it over, we talk about them incessantly, then one day we don't. We obsess. Particularly my friend, at this moment.

It's fun, i will not deny that. But it's not sane. I would say it's not healthy, but if it's not healthy than half the world is ill.

And I have my own drama (which I'm not going into), and I'm freaking out about that too. And i want to have a fresh slate at the beginning of the school year too.

Plus, I want to be uninhibited in nantucket. Nantucket will be fun.

So do guys obsess about us the way we obsess about them?

Love always,
Clara

Teen Choice Awards!

REPORTING LIVE FROM CLARA'S LIVING ROOM!

8:01- I have decided that dear Miley is not having a good day when it comes to singing live. and the pre-teen girls on the screens in the background lip-synching are hilarious.

8:03- Seriously Miley, chill out....... oh wait, the last ten seconds are pretty good

8:05- Sometimes i think maybe these shows have less to do with what teens actually like and more to do with marketing. But then I realize I'm being paranoid.

8:06- Miley says "Ooh Zac, you look good". In getting everyone pumped, she's sounding a little bit like Oprah. "ARE YOU EXCITED? YOU? I AM!"

8:09- So the associated press is right about these, but they're giving out multiple awards at once? Curious. And i like the wave-looking things in the background. Adds to the surfboard theme.

8:10- Will Smith says he is "confident, but also humble". I guess he doesn't want to fall into the Barack Obama trap. Being confident is now a bad thing.

8:11- Demi Lovato is cute when she's talking about hot people making out. Very awkward.

8:12- Chase Crawford and Ed Westwick are hot. I would make out with them, and then watch Demi Lovato try to talk about it.

8:13- Oh wow, so is whoever plays Dan on Gossip Girl. I should know this. All those guys, anyways, are very attractive

8:14- Rainn calls it the 'Adolescent Decision Awards'! He refuses to eschew obfuscation! He also makes a Cain and Abel reference that probably went over the heads of half of the audience. Interesting story about that later*. Love him.

8:16- the Rainn Wilson love continues. He's talking to Jonas Brothers action figures. He just became my hero.

8:21- There are commercials, and I want a snack. I'll return shortly, if and only if my attention span can handle it.

8:24- Call me typical, but Joe Jonas is sex in a bottle.

8:56- snack was more enticing than this show. I wonder if anyone ever actually surfs on those surf boards?

I give up. this is too much. Hilarious in its own way, but oh my god. Who is entertained by this?

*So I have a friend, who was recommending a book to another friend. This book was called Cain and Abel. And my other friend had never heard of this book (although she was familiar with the story). So the first friend says "Oh my god, I'm sure you've heard of it. They mention it in like, poetry and stuff all the time!". For a moment my other friend thought she meant the bible story (because what else do they mention in poetry all the time?), so she said that. And my first friend was like "No, what are you talking about? No it's a book about these two brothers..."

This book was a reference to the bible story, of course. My friend had NO IDEA.

We had quite a laugh about that one.

Love always,
Clara

Teen Choice Awards?

So I'm so watching. If Miley Cyrus is involved, I'm so there. Anyway, I googled it and i found the winners on AP. What? I didn't think it was happening until 8 tonight.

I guess I'll see. Right now it's looking like the AP jumped the gun on posting these... I will laugh if there's some kind of fallout. 

Regardless of the potential spoilers out there, I'm going to be doing a minute-by-minute of all of the beautiful teenager's choices. 

It will be epic.

and i want to know what happens with this winners-already-published thing.

Love always,
Clara

elaborate lies and seducing strangers.

If college doesn't work out, I could always just be the village temptress.

Honestly, I have had so many random non-encounters on my various methods of public transportation.

like today: the story of blonde boy.

he gets on the red line with me. He is attractive. I look at him. Sure. whatever.

then we get to my transfer. It's his too. I walk with him, kind of. I don't know if he realizes I'm walking with him, but I am. And when it's time to decide what train to get on (yellow line, southbound for me), he gets on the same one I do. same car. this was his decision (if you can call it that). So we both sit, kind of across the aisle from each other. And we have several moments of awkward eye contact. He gets up to get off at his stop, a couple stops before mine. Before he leaves he looks back and we have another awkward eye contact moment.

It is beautiful.

and he leaves, and I'm grinning to myself over how I got him to notice me.

I may very possibly be a sociopath.

Once, I told a guy on the bus that I had three sisters, played lacrosse, was a senior, and wanted to be an economics major. Elaborate lies.

or maybe I'm telling YOU elaborate lies.

And you would never know.

The sociopath thing is sounding more probable every day.

Love always,
Clara

reinvention

I love summer.
I really do. I've been thinking too much recently about school, and what will happen when I get there. I'm already pumped for homecoming, although I realized just now that since I plan to forgo field hockey in favor of outdoor ed, I won't have any games to *play* in. Whatever. Regardless, I'm painting my face. And then I'll have to scrub that off for the dance... Anyways, whatever. I've done it before, I can do it again.
And this year I can do powderpuff. Chances are I won't actually *play* in that either (athletics and I aren't exactly bffs), but half the fun is just being involved. Cheering. Whatnot. Fun.
Even the classes are going to have some beautiful element of newness. AP Chem? I'm legitimately excited for that class. Someone please tell me, how crazy am I?

Summer, anyways, is good for reinventing yourself. I'm reinventing myself as we speak (or, as I type would be more accurate), deciding all of these things that i WILL be, come september.
Who am I kidding? It is more than likely that I'll show up at school and still be the same person I've always been. It wouldn't be a tragedy (i hope). But really, I'm craving some variety. Not too much. Just enough.
After this summer, which has been its own shade of insane, I can't imagine going back and being the same as last fall. Last fall and this fall are two very different creatures. Last fall sucked, actually, for a variety of reasons. It had its moments, but as a whole, fond memories of fall '07 are few and far between. But I know for a FACT that this fall is going to rock.
That was such a beast alliterative moment. Fs were everywhere.
Maybe I'm delusional.
How better to get pumped for junior year than to redesign my identity anyways?
Don't lie. If you're in school, you're doing it too. It's fun.
Why not?

Love always,
Clara

Hardly Working

Here I am, at the office, supposedly reading something riveting about the FDA. I do like the FDA, or reading about it and all it's flaws when it comes to oncology drugs, but i don't have the necessary attention span.
Forgive me.
This internship has convinced me that I am not cut out for a standard desk job. I'll do something else with my time. Something more colorful.
It's cool, what i'm researching. But really, i could be stumbling upon the meaning of life over here and my only thought would be "Hey, do you think I could pretend to go to the bathroom to walk around?"
Call it wanderlust, call it restlessness, I'd rather explore the vast world of maryland in person than sit here much longer.
Can't... sit... still...
So I figured I'd let my mind do the wandering.
I guess it likes the exercise.

Love always,
Clara

Awake before work

I'm awake and ready. I don't want or need to be awake right now. But no, see, I take the metro to work. And my parents this morning have decided they can't drop me off at the metro station any later than 8:15. which means, basically, I'm going to get to work about an hour early. and what am i supposed to do with myself?
I guess I'll bring a magazine. but that won't stop me from being disgruntled.


I don't know. I figured I would come here to complain.


Love always,
Clara

Titles of my autobiography

Who doesn't do this? I always think of interesting titles for my autobiography. Or even chapter titles. I figure someday it will come in handy, at least in a college essay. 

A Lifetime

Spectacularly Ironic

Never Eschewing Obfuscation

Some Days

19,208,589,738,900 sticks of gum later

(i'm a gum addict. Currently chewing: Stride Sweet Berry)

That's all i can come up with so far. But I'll add to this list. I swear.

Love always,
Clara

what i'm listening to

I figured I would give a little insight into my music tastes.
These are all good songs (according to me).
At the moment, at the top of my iTunes.


What's Up? - 4 Non Blondes
Check Yes Juliet - We the Kings
Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
American Boy - Estelle
Hook Me Up - The Veronicas
Pushin' Me Away - Jonas Brothers
Run - Snow Patrol
Fall for You - Secondhand Serenade
Strawberry Swing - Coldplay
Only Fooling Myself - Kate Voegele


Love always,
Clara

sometimes i make videos.

Here is one of them. I made it during exam week this spring. It's kind of a tradition, these exam week videos.



The song's name is Requiemz by Trip Hizzle. Awesome name, right?

Love always,
Clara

call me odyssea of the web

So i decided the other day that i wanted a blog. A public one, that is. I've already alluded to my 'online diary' of sorts (which sounds silly but is great when i want to write something and i'm not with my laptop... although, i'm always with my laptop)(sidenote- that online diary was on blogger). I decided this while playing around with twitter, which is probably my new addiction. It's beginning to replace facebook. That's how addicted I am. Anyway, I looked around and figured, "hey tumblr looks cool, i'll try that".

so i did for about a day, and it was actually way fun, except that there were no comments, which annoyed me. I want some kind of community, you know? So that wasn't really working out.

So i do some googling, which i do pretty frequently, and I stumble upon wordpress. Now, lonelygirl15, one of my favorite websites ever, is hosted by wordpress, so I had high hopes. However, after some frustration I discovered that wordpress is almost impossible to customize. Every single template SCREAMS template, and you can't change that unless you are intensely good at CSS. Which I am not, i'm ashamed to say. I hardly understand regular HTML. Although, this one time in sixth grade, i decided i would make a website with HTML. It was called "Watermelon Seeds" and it was pink. 

Anyways, this wordpress blog seemed destined to be generic. Not my style. So i thought to myself, what has a community, can be customized, and is relatively easy to deal with?

Blogger.

So here I am again, back where I started. And I love it.

Typing this post, I realize how many times I start sentences with the word "so". Maybe that means I'm logical or something. Cause and effect, all that.

You know how we do.

Love always,
Clara

Welcome to my life

Hi. I'm Clara. And this... is my blog.

And i like it here very much so far.

It's only been a moment, but I feel comfortable already.

It's almost as if I've had a blog for a while but it's been more personal and set to private... hypothetically, of course.

Anyway, I'm ready to open up and share myself with the world.

Here I come.

Love always,

Clara