meta-smugness

Yesterday, I had probably the most quintessentially Brown experience yet.

During my post- meeting, I got a text from Andrew saying that people were going to Tea in Sahara, the wonderful cafe/hookah bar that I've spent way too much time at in the past week. So when the meeting ended I called Benny and he and I walked over and met the bunch of them over there. A game of Monopoly was in progress, of course, and at the other end of the table there was a discussion of the relative merits of monotheism vs. polytheism.

Me: Who's winning?

Andrew: John.

Me: Again? Damn. Why is he good at Monopoly?

Ken: I question the moral values of anyone who is good at Monopoly.

Ken would describe himself as a communist.

A while later, the conversation then migrated to how to best run a country. We were all at a loss as to how to successfully establish a fair meritocracy. I'm of the opinion that rule by an intellectual elite would probably have the best outcome, but it would never fly in this country.

People really should want their Congressman to be smarter than they are, though.

At this point, the Monopoly game had ended, and Scott and Audrey had started a game of chess. Then we started talking about what a diverse group of people we were. And it occurred to us that we were sitting in a cafe, smoking hookah, discussing how we would run a country, while playing chess.

Then we started discussing our own smugness.

Only at Brown.

Love always,

Clara

hung

David: So I called my mom to try to convince her to pay for some of it, and she was like "you don't need another jacket," which is true, but also irrelevant. I mean, look at my closet.

Me: Your closet is impressively packed. Oh, by the way, how do those space-saving hangers work?

David: They're great. Get the metal ones. They're more expensive but they don't break.

Me: Cool. Yeah, my closet is getting to its full point. It's not my fault I have a lot of things that need to be hung.

David: You need... a well-hung closet.

Me: Yes! I have needs!

I sure love skyping with David. He always has great stories. I can't even think of anything clever to say right now, because he has already said all clever things.

This may be hyperbole.

David: Neural damage is so out right now.

Love always,

Clara

good shit vs. bad shit

Since Rome was unfortunately cancelled after two seasons, I know you've been wondering what we spend our time watching these days.

For the last week, it's been the BBC's Sherlock. There are only three episodes so far, but each episode is an hour and a half long.

I highly recommend that.

This weekend being out first weekend of first semester, things were pretty awesome.

Me: This is good shit.

Benny: That's good! I much prefer good shit to bad shit.

Me: Yeah. Bad shit is bad.

Benny: Exactly!

John (joining the conversation): Wait, what?

Benny: If you were to describe bad shit in one word, what would it be?

John: ... shitty.

Me: What about good shit?

John: Awesome.

Me: This kid is an outlier!

Benny: It's the exception that proves the rule!

John: What did you expect me to say?

Benny: Good shit is good, and bad shit is bad.

Me: The world is more or less binary.

I'd like to say that this is representative of the sorts of things that went on this weekend.

I also had some really great tea earlier today. It was good shit.

Love always,

Clara

classes, at last

I've got my schedule sorted out. Finally. I dropped my fifth class this morning.

This semester is going to be really good. I can feel it. All of my classes are great so far, and I don't see that changing.

First I've got Brain Damage and the Mind. I was already excited about that, and then I found out that I know a bunch of people taking it, so it gets bonus points for that. I'm excited. Although I hope other people drop it because right now the room is really crowded. And that one's at 10am, my earliest class of the semester. No more dragging myself out of bed at 8:30 for econ.

Right after that I'm taking Health Care in the United States, which is taught by a primary care physician. He seems really nerdy and awesome, and the class so far has just gone on about how Europe is great. Although it does have its problems too. But we're really quite terrible.

On tuesdays and thursdays I'm taking my first college math class... Number Theory! I'm excited. I just didn't feel a passionate need to take multivariable calculus. I have missed numbers though, and their numbing qualities. I mean that very seriously. Sometimes I think that the mathematicians just needed something to numb them from whatever their personal burdens were, and so they turned to numbers.

And then, of course, there's Fiction I, my first year seminar that meets weekly. I have heard very good things about that class. Very good things.

So that's my semester in a nutshell. In addition to layout-editing for post- and having a social life, of course.

Love always,

Clara

somewhat deranged

First of all, you all need to watch this:

I always make fun of AOL's content (because my mom gets a surprising amount of her fluff-type news there), but this is genius.

Anyway. Moving on.

Last night may go down in history as the night it was established that every man has his price, and mine is 500 monopoly dollars.

Monopoly is my new second favorite board game. Scrabble is the first.

Life has been chaos lately, which is why I've been somewhat absent.

Me: This is something I think I got from my mom. Whenever a bad thing or at least an unforeseen thing happens, I start going through all the great other things that might also happen. I think it's a good thing, but also kind of deranged. This also describes my mother.

Hi mom!

Love always,

Clara

back to the books

Of course, classes are going to happen.

I'm excited for that too though.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to Brain Damage and the Mind at ten, and then Health Care in the United States at eleven. There's another class I'm thinking about taking that meets at eleven on monday/wednesday/friday, but I'll sort that out as it comes. On thursday I'm going to a class about the Romans, Introduction to Number Theory, and of course Fiction I, my first year seminar.

All of those classes sound awesome to me.

They will inevitably sound less awesome when they're assigning me papers and whatnot.

But right now they sound so awesome.

Maybe I'm just tired and therefore in a good mood. Maybe I'm just in a good mood. Any of these things are plausible.

Love always,

Clara

i love college

I am under the impression that my tweets last night were awesome.

I'd forgotten the kinds of ridiculous shit my friends here say out loud.

I love it.

Last night was great. It was the first night that a critical mass of people were back, and the last night that wasn't a school night until the weekend.

I really can't say enough times how happy I am to be back. It's almost sad.

This morning I woke up and walked to a cute local diner to get breakfast with some friends. Then, we all had a snowball fight on the lower quad of Keeney.

Later, we went sledding at a nearby high school, and built a jump, and went off of said jump and may have hurt ourselves.

Tonight some of us went to a cafe, played Monopoly, and smoked hookah.

Today has been one of the best days ever.

Tomorrow classes start, and that won't be bad either.

Love always,

Clara

busy busy

Back on campus and life is sweet.

I woke up at eight this morning, hung out for a bit, got dressed, and went to Starbucks where I bought the Sunday Times and drank my doubletallsugarfreevanillasoylatte.

Then, John and I went to the mall where I bought a new iPod (the old one, which I'd had since sophomore year, had reached the end of its life) from a guy named Stephen.

Me: I'd like to buy an iPod.

Stephen: Cool!

Me: Yeah. Just an iPod classic.

Stephen: Cool! I can help you with that!

Me: Great, thanks.

Stephen: Yeah! Cool!

He was a generally enthusiastic character. He told us to come back sometime. As if we're going to go to the Apple store and say "Oh, hi, we don't need anything, we're just looking for our friend Stephen."

The mall was fun. There seems to be some kind of cheerleading competition going on in Providence, and we saw a lot of people in midriff bearing uniforms and eye glitter.

On the way out, we saw some local kids outside.

John: Look at the natives!

This reminded me of something.

Me: So I was in Switzerland, and my Mom did something weird, I don't know...

John: That's basically the story of your life.

Me: ... yes.

He's 100% right about that. But the story continued.

Me: I remember, she ordered sparkling water instead of regular, which I don't even understand.

John: I hate sparkling water.

Me: Me too. So I was like, "Mom, what are you doing?" and she was like "Clara, I've gone native."

That's a real story.

I really don't like sparkling water.

Anyway, then later we went to Whole Foods with Liz and Jenny and Felice. I have so many fruits and veggies right now. It is making my day.

I am so glad to be back.

Love always,

Clara

i'm leaving in half an hour

Goodbye Switzerland! It's been real! See you in May!

And maybe in March if Mom's women's conference isn't in the middle of midterms. We'll see about that.

Of course, I couldn't leave without one last music binge before I get on that airplane. It's a long flight, you know.

Home is Wherever I'm With You - Kid Cudi + Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Save Me - Nicki Minaj

Fearless - Taylor Swift

For the First Time - The Script

This Is Why We Fight - The Decemberists

Rise to Me - The Decemberists

Away Frm U - Oberhofer

Bang Bang Bang - Mark Ronson & The Business intl

Coca Cola - Little Red

Fade to Black - MNDR

It's Alright - Little Red

Pyramid - Planes

The Recluse (Nero Remix) - Plan B

Time of my Life - Patrick Wolf

Twice - Little Dragon

Cold War - Janelle Monae

Robots - Jamie Woon

The Water - Johnny Flynn & Laura Marling

The last two thirds of that are from my extensive collection of Thomas's tunes. That kid and his music are great, although I am very very angry with him, as he could probably tell from my phone call last night.

Next time you hear from me, I'll be in America.

Love always,

Clara

new friends

Yet again. I think every relocation I've made this year could be described as "going home."

I packed today. It was easier this time around. I have a vague idea now of what I actually wear. I don't know why this was such a mystery to me before.

Tonight we went out. I was more punctual than the rest of those hooligans. Which meant I was standing at the treftpunkt by myself for a bit. I made some new friends.

Guy: *German*

Me: Oh, I speak english...

Guy: Oh! Where are you from?

Me: Um, America

Guy: What are you doing here?

Me: I'm meeting friends. I think they're coming in on the S7. They should be here any minute...

Guy: Girl friends?

Me: Mostly guys.

Guy: You're a blondie. I like blondies. I'm a black man.

Me: I see.

Guy: My name is Prince.

Me: It's nice to meet you.

The bit about blondies is 100% direct transcription of what he said. That was in no way paraphrased or reworked for shock value.

Then a friend of his, Ashley, turned up, and she seemed pretty cool, and I was in a public place, so I felt less sketched out about the whole thing. Although I did give Kyle the "Hi I'm at treftpunkt making new friends where the hell are you?" phone call.

Ashley was quite nice. She'd gotten her hair done that day, and she had this curled mohawk situation going on, and the sides were buzzed. She had designs on each side. One side had swirls and one had a picture of a cat. I am not even joking.

I love meeting new people and having new experiences.

Tomorrow I will fly back to Providence and see my wonderful college friends and this will be great.

Love always,

Clara

alpha-women and my topless photo

There was an article in the Financial Times today about how Alpha-women tend to marry Alpha-males, and then the Alpha-men get their careers put first, and that's why there aren't enough female CEOs. The moral of the story was that if you want to be a CEO, marry a man who doesn't care about his job. The implication was that such men are weaker or something.

I think this is crap. I don't want to end up marrying someone less ambitious than I am. Although I don't want to be a CEO either. I'm thinking right now of being a psychologist, or memoirist, or hobo in a box.

Or maybe a combo.

Mom said that she felt like that too, and that she sees herself as the Alpha-woman who had to stay home with the children.

Mom: I'm not bitter about it though, because I got to be with you kids.

Me: And we're pretty cool. Especially me.

Mom: Well where do you think you got it?

Mother and I are also huge narcissists. I think I got that from her too.

We had drinks with a family friend tonight. It is when we are doing these kinds of things that everyone's weird sense of humor comes out. I was telling her about my blogging, and the fact that a google for "ipad boobs" results in a link to this very place.

Me: Well, it's because of this conversation I had with David.

Dad: So it's not because of that topless picture of you holding an iPad?

Me: Oh that might have something to do with it too.

Friend: Don't shock your parents!

Me: Too late.

...

Dad: Since you've been home, I've had this postmodern existential awareness of the things I say and how they might be represented on your blog. It's interesting.

This is why I have a whole tag about my family being weird. It really suits them.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. I bet you were anticipating a topless photo. Or at least some reference to a real topless photo. No luck. Sorry.

excitement all around

Me: This song used to be popular.

Dad: ... Why?

It was a Sean Kingston song, but one of the less comprehensible, more repetitive ones. I really couldn't give Dad an answer.

We went skiing yesterday. It was awesome. Verbier is about two hours away, but totally gorgeous, and I feel like I skied pretty well.

Today so far has been less fun. My final dentist appointment was this afternoon. And I bought some apples. We always have terrible soft tiny apples in our house, or none at all, so for a while I'd assumed that the apples available to the Swiss just suck. This is not the case. I went into Loeb today and found their produce section; they have some really great apples! I bought a bunch. This has been my exciting project of today.

Later I'm popping by school though. The kids are done with their exams I think, which is cause for celebration.

Love always,

Clara

hey baby, what's your sign?

Let's be real for a second: I'm self-centered.

Very much so.

For god's sake, I keep a blog about myself. And I have over a thousand posts.

So, while I don't really believe in its legitimacy, astrology has always been cool to me. I'm an Aries, and I'd like to think it suits me.

I'd like to believe that I'm

• energetic,
• charming,
• bold,
• independent,
• enthusiastic,
• and, in some regards, fearless.

And on the flip side, I'll acknowledge that I could possibly be considered

• arrogant,
• self-centered (see above for christ's sake),
• blunt,
• impulsive,
• and definitely stubborn.

So a couple weeks ago when the "new" astrological signs came out, I was a little unnerved by the thought that I was supposed to be a Pisces. I knew I wasn't a Pisces. I just looked it up. Pisces people* are "hazy" and "introspective" and "will quickly put the needs of others ahead of their own." While altruism is awesome, I wouldn't say it's something I jump for. Pisces people are "shy, on the reticent side." Have you met me?

I am definitely not a Pisces.

Of course, the astrological authorities, whoever they may be, clarified that these new signs only matter if you're an infant, so I have nothing to worry about. But it begs the question: If I'd been told from birth that I was a Pisces, would I believe it? Would I even be more like that?

Just how suggestible am I?

(Obviously the answer is that I'm not suggestible at all. I'm stubborn, because I'm an Aries.)

This has been the source of a good deal of existential angst lately. By that I mean I don't care much at all but I wanted to be able to talk about how awesome Aries kids* are in a blog post and this seemed timely and relevant.

*How is one supposed to do the plural of an astrological sign? Pisceses? Arieses? Geminis? Aquarii?

Love always,

Clara

ballin'

I'm back from Austria. I had planned on blogging while I was there, but we were pretty busy-slash-hungover most of the time so that didn't happen. Apologies.

Now I'm home.

The balls were fun. Friday night was the Blumenball, the ball thrown by the flower growers. There were a lot of flowers there.

That ball was great for people-watching. There were some very good dresses and some very bad dresses and a girl with multicolored dreadlocks. There was also a very awkward disco that reminded me of Andrew's Bar Mitzvah (hey Potomac kids, you still remember that right?) because of the generational dynamics and the architecture of the room.

Although this one had real cocktails, which was a plus.

Saturday night was the Wirkschaft Universitat ball, so the crowd was slightly younger (for those of you who don't spreche Deutch, that's the business school). It was very fun.

The thing about the Viennese Waltz is that there is a lot of spinning involved and it makes one very dizzy. The thing about being a girl though is that you're not expected to lead the dancing, just hold on and keep step. That's nice once you get the hang of it.

There was a Quadrille at midnight, which is something like an Austrian squaredance. That's fun, unless you've been standing in heels for the last four hours and the room is too crowded and people are stepping on your feet.

Well, even then, it's pretty fun.

I'm a big fan of balls, I've decided, although I'm not sure I'd have the stamina for the Austrian ball season. They have around three hundred balls between the new year and Lent.

I went to two and I'm exhausted.

Love always,

Clara

i don't even know

Mom: Clara, will you pick out some outfits for Grace to pack?

Me: What?

Mom: I tried to do it, but she said "Mom, can you send Clara to do this?"

Me: Did she actually say that or are you bullshitting me?

Mom: I'm bullshitting you. But she won't listen to me!

For some reason we don't trust Grace to pack for herself. That reason will probably become evident in the next few days, because I'm refusing to help. I have a stomach ache and so I'm in a contrary mood. Also, sulky.

But I just listened to Bright Eyes for a little bit and now I feel much better. Here's hoping that stays.

Tomorrow we depart for Austria. Tomorrow night is the Blumenball, and the night after that is another ball that's bigger and goes until five in the morning.

My life is basically something out of a poorly written novel. Or maybe a sitcom that was brilliant, but didn't get good enough ratings and was cancelled after two seasons.

Love always,

Clara

edited to add: I did go try to help Grace pack. I did. I tried my damndest. That girl is stubborn though. In unrelated news, it's clear that we're related.

new road trip, new music

Dad and I are going to Lichtenstein!

I, of course, need new music for this occasion.

Most of this is courtesy of Thomas.

I Chose Me - Kai

Ghosts on a G6 (Basic Physics Mashup) - Deadmau5 vs. Far East Movement

Run - Daughter

I Just Came To Say Hello - Mashup Germany

No Guns And Horses, Just Make Love - Ellie Goulding, Daft Punk & Monsieur Adi

BTSTU - Jai Paul

Leave Your Troubles Behind - Hollywood Kill

Absentee - Emmy the Great

Moon Crooner - Egyptian Hip Hop

Dancing with the DJ - The Knocks

Confetti - 1,2,3

Not In Love ft. Robert Smith - Crystal Castles

Ain't Nobody (Memory Tapes remix) - Clare Maguire

Five Trees - Chapel Club

No One's Gonna Love You - Cee Lo Green

The High Road - Broken Bells

Boyfriend - Best Coast

Hooray!

Love always,

Clara

in case you needed further evidence

That I'm not up to much, check this out. I just found a blog that takes New Yorker cartoons and gives them captions that are literally what someone might say in that circumstance. Not a joke, just a factual or logical statement.

There's one about a unicorn that illustrates this perfectly. And one about a dolphin that just makes me giggle.

Clearly I've been productive today. Now I might take a nap.

Love always,

Clara

misfits

So I've been watching this show called Misfits.

It's rocking my world. It's about these british teenage juvenile delinquents who are hit by lightning and get super powers. If that doesn't sound fantastic to you, you need to reevaluate your standards.

One of the guys, Curtis, can rewind time. He can't control it, but when something bad happens generally he'll just rewind back to the point where he can stop that bad thing from happening.

Last night I had a dream that I could do that. In the dream I went back to school, and Daphna was there. Then I went back in time, and suddenly it was the beginning of the school year, and we were at this barbecue thing. Kayla was there too. Now, I couldn't remember exactly what my social situation was at the time of this hypothetical barbecue, so I turned to Daphna (who was still there) and asked "So, I just came from the future; remind me which of these people are my friends right now? Am I still hanging out with this person? Am I friends with that kid yet?"

And I ended up saying hi to someone that I wasn't supposed to be friendly with, and I changed the future.

I think it's telling that while Curtis tends to use his power to avoid his friends' deaths, I end up using mine to complicate my social situations.

I also think it's telling that I had a dream that combined Misfits and being back at Brown, because

1) I am so bored that I've been watching two episodes of this show per day.

2) I really want to go back to school.

Tomorrow we go to Lichtenstein though. That should be fun.

Love always,

Clara

bread pudding!

I spent two hours in the kitchen today pouring sugar and cinnamon and milk on bits of bread and calling it culinary.

The end result was delicious so I am beyond thrilled.

Literally had bread pudding cupcake things (cupcake here is a loose term indicating that they were discrete, and roundish) for lunch and dinner. Turns out, they don't provide a ton of lasting energy (hello carbohydrates, how are you doing today?) so then I had some peanuts.

I win nutrition.

Tonight I discovered that my mother owns a bright lime green corset. I want to steal it. It's not a lingerie-type corset; it's a top-part-of-a-gown-type corset. I'm sure there's a word for it.

Anyway, it fits and I kind of want to wear it around like it's a normal thing to wear. Bring it into style. Rock it with jeans and sunglasses.

Maybe I'm just on a prolonged sugar high.

That is a plausible explanation of my mood.

Also the fact that I haven't left the house all day. That always does crazy things to my head. I couldn't be bothered though. There's nothing to do on Sundays in this country anyway. And I had discrete-and-round bread puddings to make. And eat.

This is what things are like these days. Luckily I'll be back at school in two weeks, where at least my insanity is in good company.

Quotes without Context: Holiday edition #4

"Your screw is loose! Do you want me to drive it?!"

Did I imply above that there are not many insane people right here? I retract that implication.

Love always,

Clara

cupcakes

Tomorrow, I'm going to the dentist again. I've been reassured that what they're doing tomorrow morning won't hurt at all (they're taking a mold of a tooth), so I'm not freaking out anymore.

Tomorrow evening, I plan to be social in some capacity.

And the day after tomorrow, I'm making cupcakes.

I haven't decided what kind yet. There's this recipe for strawberry whipped cream frosting that I want to try, but I'm not sure you can get strawberries here at this time of year.

If I do that, I'll make a general vanilla cupcake and put a little strawberry slice on the top of each one.

Otherwise, I'm thinking of just making bread pudding in a cupcake tin, like they did at Duck and Bunny when I was there before the BDH Banquet (I really am just bragging at this point. Yes, my life involves non-painful dentist encounters, cupcakes, and banquets for fantastic newspapers and their even cooler associated magazines. Also, if you're the last person on earth to whom I have not told about the ball, I'm going to a ball. In Austria.)

Anyway, in the process of finding these recipes, I've been reading through a lot of cupcake blogs. And wow. They are just awful.

I mean, the cupcakes themselves look delicious. I would probably eat any cupcake I saw in the last two hours or so of browsing through these blogs. But the blogs themselves were so... disorganized! Most did not make efficient use of tags! How hard is it, exactly, to add the tag "recipe" to every post that contains a recipe? Why, it's just as hard as adding the tag "pumpkin fudge," which you will most likely only ever use once, and which helps no one.

I almost died.

The writing was of varying quality as well, but I feel more vulnerable throwing that stone, because I may very well be living in a glass house.

I'm not sure whether that last sentence made any sense, which more or less proves my point.

Anyway, I'm glad to have made these decisions and dragged myself out of the thicket of poorly organized blogging. I guess most bakers aren't bloggers by nature. I remember there being one really fantastic cupcake blog that I read a little while ago, but I can't remember the name of it. Daphna probably knows.

It just occurred to me that the last time I made cupcakes, I blogged about it. It was that time I went to the eye doctor and they dilated me and I couldn't read a damn thing, and throughout the experience I felt very much like Kierkegaard.

Hopefully sunday's attempt will be just as... inspring.

Love always,

Clara

not throwing myself off the balcony

We're in Lugano! By "we" I mean the whole family. We drove down here today, Grace is looking at a boarding school tomorrow morning and mom and I are going shopping, and then tomorrow we're driving back. It's an exciting life.

Lugano is fun because they speak italian and none of us speak italian.

Mom's strategy is to mime.

We visited the spa this afternoon. This hotel is great. I hung out in the steam room for a bit and... felt steam... around me... and breathed it in? I'm not really sure what one is supposed to gain from a steam room. Was I supposed to be relaxed? Rejuvenated? Super flexible? Is hot yoga still a thing people do?

Sometimes I feel like there is so much I just don't know about the world. Such as the purpose of steam rooms, or how to put stockings on without ripping them.

Mom: What are you reading?

Me: The Bell Jar.

Mom: Ugh, Sylvia Plath? Why don't you just throw yourself off the balcony?

I really like Sylvia Plath, actually. I'm much more of a tortured soul than I tend to let on, so her writing appeals to me a lot.

No worries though; I have no plans to stick my head in the oven. I don't even know how to turn our ovens on.

Quotes without Context: Holiday edition #3

"I'll never look at Osama Bin Laden the same way again!"

Love always,

Clara

this is how thomas feels about sunglasses

I went to school today. By that I mean ISB, naturally. I don't even go there anymore, but I'm never sure I quite attended last year either.

I'd forgotten what the place was really like, to be honest. And then today I stepped inside C building and it all came rushing back and I thought, "Wow, I was here for a whole year and this was my school."

It was a very strange thought.

I turned up because the kids told me to, and because I wanted to see Mr. Tom. I did see Mr. Tom, and I hung out with the kids for a while, so it was a good day.

I've taken to calling them "the kids" because

1. They're still in high school which makes me laugh-out-loud.
2. No other names have really stuck.

We all watched some cool videos on youtube. I feel like they spend a fair amount of time watching cool videos on youtube. This one is my favorite:

Sometimes I think I am far too sophisticated to be entertained by random nonsense, and then I encounter random nonsense and I am very much entertained, and then I remember that I'm not actually sophisticated.

Love always,

Clara

tunes from thomas!

Once again, the lovely Thomas has given me a USB-worth of songs.

He really is fantastic like that.

As I tend to do, I'm only adding them to my library 20-or-so at a time. I want sufficient time to pay attention to each song.

Blow It Up - The Vaccines

Have A Nice Day - Stereophonics

The King and All of His Men - Wolf Gang

Medicine - Alex Winston

Mouthful Of Diamonds - Phantogram

My Life - JJ

Qwerty finger - Everything Everything

Silver Soul - Beach House

Splash (feat. Coco) - Sub Focus

Tokyo (Vampires & Werewolves) - The Wombats

Undertow - Warpaint

When the Night Kills the Day - Lauren Pritchard

Wonderman (feat. Ellie Goulding) - Tinie Tempah

Zebra - Beach House

Intelligentactile 101 - Jesca Hoop

I'm going to be dropping by ISB tomorrow, so I can give Thomas the USB back and say hello to Mr. Tom and MT and the rest.

Get ready, guys.

Love always,

Clara

it's been said before

I'm five years old.

In half an hour I have to go to the dentist and I kind of want to cry. I just don't want to go.

They're going to poke me with needles and yell at me in german and strip me of my autonomy and make my mouth hurt.

I don't like any of these things.

I've never had a good relationship with dentists.

I take sick pleasure in the fact that they have one of the highest suicide rates of any profession. I say, yeah, fuck you dentists, go kill yourselves.

(Which, I acknowledge, is a just terrible thought to have)

The worst part is that I actually know some dentists personally and they're fine people. I wouldn't say they're the most stimulating company, but they're not the kind of people I would wish death upon under normal circumstances.

But... dentists. It's unforgivable, really.

Quote without context: Holiday edition #2

"Can Simone touch them?"

Love always,

Clara

with the parents again

Mom: Want some vino? Your dad and I are going to watch Rome.

Sometimes it occurs to me that I may as well not have left college. Things are actually not all that different over here.

Although watching graphic sex scenes at school is totally okay, and watching graphic sex scenes with my parents is totally not okay.

In related news, we watched The Kids are All Right tonight. It was great, except for all of those graphic sex scenes with my parents in the room.

There is something decidedly gross about that.

I, naturally, thought the happy ending was when the oldest daughter got to go away to college and escape the madness that was her domestic situation. I was literally cheering for it.

I think that every day for the next week, I'm going to post a quote without context from new years, because there are so many great ones.

So, here we go.

Quotes without context: Holiday edition #1

"If you let her film you, she'll tell you about her vagina in winter"

Love always,

Clara

zubringerdienst you

Dad: However, Uncle Stu was never gay, unlike many male models.

Mom: While you were in the bathroom, Clara, I made the mistake of telling you father that [one of Mom's exes] was a model.

I had dinner with my parents tonight and it was hilarious.

We're out of eggs. This is a crisis.

Mom: This was easy driving home.

Dad: On the way here I took the long way because I didn't want to get a ticket driving through Matte.

Me: But you did it just now.

Dad: Well I cut the odds in half. I didn't want to be pulled over and have to explain that I was zubringerdiensting your mother.

Me: That does sound questionable.

"Zubringerdienst" means you can only drive through a particular area if you're going there. As in, not just passing through.

Mom: Zubringerdienst you!

Love always,

Clara

goodbye, 2010, hello 2011

Last night was fantastic. It completely lived up to everyone's high hopes. I haven't had such a hilarious time in town in ages.

Also, I love champagne.

Me: I want to take a picture of the bottle of champagne in the snow and be like... poppin bottles on ice, like a blizzard.

I totally did do that, for the record.

Now it's 2011 and it's time to make resolutions! I'l try. No promises. I'm not big on having flaws to begin with (read: acknowledging flaws out loud).

1. Be less flakey.
2. I am only allowed to take out the trash when it is actually full.
3. Work out at least once a week.
4. Keep yourself organized.
5. If I'm going to take a nap, I should set an alarm to wake me up at a designated time.
6. Drink more water.
7. Be confident, because I'm fantastic.

Okay.

I think I can stick to most of those.

If not, I can just flake out. And break more. And be problematic. But fantastic!

Love always,

Clara