It's the Megan and Clara show!

So to conclude your pre-exams weekend, let me recount a real conversation I had with my mother yesterday.

Me: Hey I need to find a prom dress, care to assist me?

Mom: Are you going to have that attitude?

Me: What attitude? I have an attitude?

Mom: You've been bitchy lately

Me: You've been bitchy lately

Mom: Okay, we've both been bitchy. But you've been really critical.

Me: What? No, I'm not accepting any more blame than you are.

Mom: Fine, we're both fucking bitches.

Me: Okay

Mom: Okay let's go shopping.

Me: They should make a sitcom about us.

That makes both of us sound insane, but it is the fact of the matter... we are.

Love always,
Clara

I love the city.

Went into DC for lunch today with some people. I've realized I've gotten pretty solid at driving there. And being able to parallel park helps. 

Thursday, my parents had a fundraiser and so we had valet parking people to park for the demented suburbia folk. I was coming home from the gym and parked myself because... I'm skilled that way, and it's what I do every day.

Getting out of the car I asked the valet guy whether people were inside (to see if I would have to slip in quietly, since I was sweaty and gym-looking). He said only a few, and then complimented me on my parking  job.

High praise, coming from a professional.

I was very flattered.

I've been a little slacker-ish on the blog lately. Or rather, not slackerish, but less stimulating. Apologies. The blog is my head, you see, and recently I've been refusing to let my head wander the way it likes to, since it seems to like to wander off into places where I would prefer it not go.

That sounds way more morbid than it is. All it means is that I'm stressed out about life, and thus distracting myself with frivolity, which is what osmoses itself into the blog.

I'll try to confront my demons, for your reading pleasure.

Love always,
Clara

...But I like my harmonica-czar!

Sam doesn't like my harmonica. But I like my harmonica.

Suzanna: *Draws Paul's suit, adding random shoulder bits*

Me: I always think of Russians defending the czar when i see that kind of suit

Sam: I wouldn't defend the czar if he was a harmonica.

Sarah put a pig paperclip on her english essay. Ms. D loves it.

Sarah: Can we--

Ms D: Is this coming from the girl who gave me the pig paper clip? We can do whatever you want!

Love always,
Clara

A fascination of mine

I love the sky.

Everything it does.

Someone I slightly stalk took this picture:

She's a photographer, which helps, and I wouldn't doubt her camera is amazing, but she has captured a certain moment of sunset that I don't sense many people noticing in the picture (except WhiteJacketLady in the front, who I suspect is actually looking at the sculpture).

It's the moment of sunset when there's nothing direct to demand your attention, and these people at this gathering of whatever sort are going about their business as usual.

I've been at outdoor cocktail parties, fund raisers, what have you, at this hour. I want to spend the whole time walking in my heels, staring at the sky and singing to myself. And it's impossible to make any of these people get it.

Me: Look at the sky!

Them: What about it?

This is the problem.

Oh god, I am Ophelia. I truly am losing it, 'staring at the sky and singing to myself.'

I just thought the picture was breathtaking. That's all.

Love always,
Clara

What silliness.

This is the fate you've carved on me

the law of gravity

I have this song that I hadn't listened to in years but then felt randomly compelled to put on my driving mix stuck in my head.

That sentence was vague. Had I written it in latin, you would have known what I was talking about.

Except you don't know latin, and I don't know it well enough to just speak/write fluidly.

I did just write a letter to Mr C. in latin though. It's pretty cool if I do say so myself. Which I do. The one issue may be that I've totally forgotten how gerunds work... that's okay. It's the thought that counts.

Well, that's a lie. In this case it's the writing that counts. It's school.

Oh well.

You know what makes me really truly thoroughly excited about life when I hear it? The cover of "Don't stop Believing" from Glee.

That too is on my driving mix. And it is phenomenal and I get excited just thinking about it... right now, for instance.

So I set my computer's clock to 24 hour time, so right now it says that it's 22:22. Make a wish! I've decided that 10:22 PM is officially added to the list of times at which you can wish things.

Question: Where is that awesome video of David wearing my sunglasses?

Answer: On my camera, which takes too long to upload to youtube. It's coming. Don't worry.

Love always,
Clara

Sitting in the crossroads

Megan Fox and David are in a relationship, because she drips sex and makes him want to "read the articles", whatever that means these days.

Phillip: If you sing it, they will build.

Will: That's like, your fourth movie reference in the last thirty seconds.

David: Your hands are tall.

I have a great video of David wearing my sunglasses. 

And for the record, I had like, one class today.

Sam is being a hater. He can't deal with the fact that I love everybody.

Love always,
Clara

This is actually Clara

Sam seems to think he's bringing 'freedom of the speech' to the internet.

He stole my seat. Curse the usurper's head!

He thinks he's "the Oliver Cromwell of the internet"

What a nutcase.

I'm trying to figure out my educational plans for the coming year. It is very complicated. 

Bam, Amelia, and Robin say that it's not Sam's place to blog here. They also say that a "samlet" is a young salmon. Which is pretty awesome.

I was talking to Tom yesterday and I kept making "brrrrr" noises like a telephone. brrrrrring! brrrrrring!

I realized I felt compelled to do this because it started as a sigh in my lungs, and then I made it silly before it came out. Tom described this as "benevolent despair"

Which reminded me of my general life philosophy, "optimistic nihilism".

I am a girl of paradoxes and conundrums.

Love always,
Clara

Samlet Says Again

Samlet says this is a stealth post, so don't tell Clara. 

This is the last day of work for school and it is quite nice. Barca won the Champion's  League Final which was pretty nice, woot!. I met an odd girl named Nirvana, who knew everything about Messi, like the fact his birthday is June 21, 1987 and he is 168 cm tall. Very strange indeed. 

I just had a wonderful intellectual discussion with K about life. The middle ground is better than jumping to extremes.

Clara is here now bye 

    

Love always,
Clara (Really Samlet)

Last night

I fell asleep.
At like, six.
I thought I was taking a nap. Then I woke up at 8, got a blanket because I still thought I was napping, and went back to sleep. Then I woke up at midnight and thought "this is not a nap, this is sleep" and closed my eyes again.

It was great, except that I had wanted to write an essay. Or, rather, not wanted, perhaps, but felt compelled by absolute necessity.

Oh well. That's done now.

I think I'm exhausted by all of this planning for the future. I posted as my facebook status last night something along the lines of "to be confronted with a decision is to be tortured". It really is true, unfortunately. Torture is what I am enduring at this moment.

Still smiling though. At the beginning of the year in History we were told to set goals for ourselves and write them on our name cards. I'd forgotten mine, but we got the cards back yesterday. It was "Think positive".
SUCCESS!

I'm glad it wasn't something like "Don't be a slacker" or "Retain your sanity", because I would have failed pretty epicly.

Love always,
Clara

Stalking someone else.

As you may know, I like Julia Allison. So does this girl.

Legitimately though, this new york non-socialite is the reason I started blogging.

I watched 'Glee' on hulu (also because of Julia Allison) and have had an awesome a capella "Don't stop Believing" stuck in my head ever since.

It's raining.

I had this dream last night that AJ and I were going to france in a space ship. It was beautiful, space. And we were in the future when space ships had gravity and nice living rooms and whatnot, with brilliant windows to see beautiful space.

AJ was an experienced traveler. I was not. It was a peculiar dream. Lots of explosions and sparkles.

Love always,
Clara

The epic story of vivian's love life.

Once upon a time, there was a boy whose real name wasn't actually Sherlock, but he was kind of into existentialism, so Vivian was intrigued. Then she had this silly idea that pursuing anything with this boy who was clearly into her because he was giving her french lessons for god's sake would "ruin the friendship" so she put on her logic hat and went on her way. 

Clara was sad because she thought this boy known in certain circles as Sherlock was cute, and she thought the idea of french lessons sounded incredibly sexy.

Then Vivian said she was going to swear off boys for a little while, and Clara said "Good luck with that, you are a stronger person than I am if you can pull it off"

Which she did for a little while, until she didn't anymore, and was led off track by that dastardly detective and another boy who has nothing to do with jellyfish. 

The problem with the jellyfish-nonassociated boy was that Vivian had been encouraging him into a relationship with someone else, with whom he would be great. Vivian is a selfless woman, and like I said, far stronger than I.

Then in her music theory class there was this great guy who is somehow related to swedish cars, and they like to play video games, in the literal sense. Clara likes swedish cars, since her dad sells them.

This is the epic story of Vivian's love life, because I haven't spoken to her properly in far too long.  She blames a broken phone.

Daphna is incredible, and worth mentioning at least once.

Twice. Daphna. Two times mentioned now.

Love always,
Clara

My mom has lost the Wok

Robyn the delightful nutritionist woman/cooking teacher/passive aggressive extraordinaire gave us her woks to use.

My mom lost them.

Now Robyn wants her woks back.

And we look like crazy cookware-kidnappers.

I didn't even know a wok was a thing until like, a week ago. I thought it was a style, like "italian" or "fried"

(To make matters worse, Mom consistently forgets to buy at least one crucial ingredient per week, and thus has to run out to the store and look silly. Every time.)

Me: She thinks we're...

Mom: She thinks I'm an idiot. She's always like [disdainful voice] "You forgot the asparagus?" and I'm like, "Fuck you"

For reasons my mom is hilarious, see above.

Love always,
Clara

So I have this harmonica...

And I'm so excited about it.

No irony or sarcasm is in that statement.

I love the little thing.

So today I was walking to the photo place to pick up my holgapics (they're on facebook, if you're curious. The ones from this weekend came out pretty nicely, although the second roll didn't turn out at all. I guess I didn't realize it was too dark out. Shame) and I decided to bring the harmonica with me. I take a shortcut so I'm not on the main street for long, and I figured why not?

I'm walking around with my harmonica trying to play "Love is little" (Shaker song, butt of a 'littleness' joke a while ago) or "You set me free" (Michelle Branch, I'm actually 12 years old by the way) or "Just Dance" (Lady Gaga of course, and I totally did succeed at kind of playing that the other day and it was so cool, just so you know) and I begin to feel maybe I'm disturbing the peace or something.

So.

Is there a code of conduct for harmonica players?

Should there be?

In exchange for that question, I'll answer one that has been burning inside of me for years.

The Question: When/Where do bagpipe players practice? (seeing as they are very loud)

The Answer: On grassy areas outside elementary schools

The Backstory: I was in the car driving up to the metro station (I think I was on the way to pick up Vivian [who has now been mentioned. Happy?]) and I drove by a local elementary school. There were two guys standing outside of it, on the grass. One was playing a bagpipe. The other was conducting, I suppose. And I thought to myself, "So that's how they do it!"

Pleased to be able to enlighten you.

Love always,
Clara

life is a slinky

A slinky standing on the ground. And you're climbing it, or following the wire. And you go around and around and you recognize where you've been, and for a second you think "wait, I was just here, this is just repeating itself"

But slowly slowly you're rising. And then at a certain point you're halfway up and you think "Oh my god, this is both where I was before and somewhere else entirely!"

I just thought that thought.

Sort of.

Love always,
Clara

Old things.

This trend of nostalgia has to stop.

I was reading over old blog posts yesterday, in the scattered and varied old blogs. We also read a bit of katie's diary. She wrote a great poem which I am not allowed to post here. But it is about a trixster.

I wrote this in february of 2005:

2.19.05

Wow. It's been exactly a month. So much can happen in a month. Like the musical. Fun fun fun. 'I feel sick me too awful sick you said it too sick she coughed to do on me cough cough and spread it!' that didn't make sense. That's okay. Whatever.

Also, We won the basketball game last night 24-23 in overtime. I made a foul shot. I don't think I've ever made a shot in a game before. Yay! But I rolled my ankle and now it hurts. I actually ran into a girl and she was mad. It was a very emotional team. One girl had a nervous breakdown. Another allegedly 'broke her wrist' but then went back in and didn't miss a single foul shot. We had so many fouls. The wrist one looked anorexic. I may have made that up because she was on the other team and therefore evil, but I think it's true.

You know what's a good movie? The Day After Tomorrow. I love that movie. especially with the hot guy, Jake Gyllhaan or something like that. He was hot. The girl looks like my cousin Carly. My cousin Carly is the one in the a capella group that was in my first post. ahhhh my first post. For those of you that missed it, it's in archives.

My sister just brought me french toast. yum. I must leave you now, for the french toast is calling to me. It says 'klairah.... come eat me.... I smell goooood....' I told it I am on the internet and therefore my name is anonymous. Then it said 'hellooooo internet...' which was uncalledfor. I must scold my french toast. See you later.

Anonymous

So that was me in seventh grade. I'd like to think i'm different. But the way I write hasn't changed much. My 'voice', as the college man would say, is fairly stable. I'm still making musical references that don't make any sense at all, I'm still talking to inanimate objects, I am not a fan of playing sports, seeing as it tends to be a bad experience.

Love always,
Clara

With Katie

Or rather, she's running right now, because that's what crazy runners do, but I'm at her house.

Sorry for the bloglessness yesterday as well. My god. I need to be more disciplined. Or have more to say. I did have something to say, and that something was these conversations from math class.

Backstory: While answering homework problems on the board, Hanna has drawn a man jumping on a trampoline inside a cube.

Mr H: (about math) Good. This looks nice.

Hanna: Something else that looks nice is the man jumping on a trampoline in a cube.

Mr H: That's very sad for him, unless it's a hypercube

Me: If it were obvious, we wouldn't spend doing it. (long pause, several confused looks)... spend TIME doing it, I mean.

Mr H: Sometimes I spend doing it.

In retrospect, doesn't it sound a little bit like he's talking about prostitution? I'm not implying anything here, because the comment made sense in the context of clara-being-an-idiot, but wow.

I slept for like, twelve hours last night. It was good.

Love always,
Clara

People are strange.

Chloe is looking for Charles. He's green and tall for his age and speaks ounces and milliliters. He's a water bottle. And he is afraid of the dark.

Cath just walked up to us with two paper cups. She was giggling.

People are strange.

Apologies for the lack of blogging yesterday. I wasn't even busy, I was just a little bit dead and thus couldn't bring myself to act alive.

Now I'm alive.

Yesterday my uncle came over before my grandfather's birthday dinner thing. It's really funny to see my mom play the sister role. It's also really funny to hear about their crazy adolescence. Those hypocrites.

I want to tell all my teachers, "Hey, my life is really up in the air right now, and I can't be bothered to write about Claudius or answer questions about Snell's law. No thank you. I am at school not for your sake, but to see my friends who I won't be seeing much in the near future. Understand that."

Then I would tell them, "Fuck bitches, get money"

Chloe's really distressed about Charles. John is jealous, since he's not the only man in her life.

Today we had to vote again on the Secretary Treasurer. I said, "I know Hu I'm voting for!" trying to make a pun, but Mr Y just looked at me like I was an idiot and said "That's good... because you're voting..."

He didn't get it, clearly.

Love always,
Clara

Absurdity is great.

Paul: I'm going to read your book. That's how mad I am.

Chloe: Oh yeah? Well, I'll call you fluffy until you give it back!

Paul: First I call you my sister, now this?

Chloe: That harms you!

Um, does life make sense?

Text I sent Sam last night- "I'm our with my mom so later?"

It made sense at the time.

But I'm afraid I'm losing my mind.

Sam: Espadrille, beat the feet! Beat the feet!

Chloe: What?

Sam: It's an espadrille...

Chloe: Why is it so close to your face? It's concerning me...

Sam: *is sketchy*

Sam: I'm going to take my shirt off

Paul: *sings*

Chloe: Stop singing The Brady Bunch at me.

These people are super weird.

Chloe: I just called you Santa

Paul: Who's loopy again?

Love always,
Clara

Cats and Dogs

Suzanna: Cats lie around in a happy way. Dogs lie around in a bored way like, "I would rather be running around the dog park right now, but I guess I'll sleep"

AJ: (translating) The Centurion ordered the soldier to come into the water.

Mr C: to find water. What did you say? Come into? "Come into the water with me, soldier boy. We've been out in the forests of Germany for a long time."

The reason I love latin. There are a lot of reasons I love latin. Actually.

We're now reading about a dolphin. The SATII will be much better than the AP, which wasn't too bad anyway, except that one question, and you know which one I mean if you're a latin kid too.

Love always,
Clara

Sitting around.

Um, I just rediscovered the game "Extreme Heli Boarding".

I used to be beast at this game.

I had a screenshot of the score screen when I got a score that said like, "You are an Olympic Level Boarder Dude!" or something.

I saved it entitled "Career Options".

Anyway, if you are finding yourself with more free time than you know what to do with, play this game. 

It turns out after a year or two of not playing I kind of suck. But I know I can do better.

Math was funny yesterday. It was also funny today.

Shivani was playing with some paper...

Shivani: Now it's an arrow

Me: Nice. You can point at things with it. Very assertive.

Sam: *talking*

Mr H: Sam.

Sam: I was talking to Reilley!

Mr H: I know.

Me: I'm using hand diagrams

Sam: Handigrams, if you will.

Mr H: Using the quotient rule... this seems correct

Me: I know not seems.

Love always,
Clara

Student Government and my anger.

We just heard the speeches for Student Government candidates.

They were great. Similarly to the talent show, I found that I love people on stages.

But here is the problem.

Student Government doesn't do anything.

I don't blame Student Government. They can't do anything. They have no power.

For example, the case of the sophomore trip. Now, this is mostly anecdotal and someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that Marie and others pushed hard for a sophomore trip (which makes sense, since they're the only grade that doesn't have one now). These great student government kids contacted places, worked out funding, considered logistics, compromised with the idea of a lock-in, and basically put their hearts in this idea that isn't exactly outlandish. It's not like they were trying to "put soda in the water fountains" to quote Willie the freshman. And at the last minute, the administrators said "Nope, not happening, sorry".

What the heck?

I know I don't have all the answers, but this is how I think things should work. 

The American governmental system.

The administration is the executive branch. They have veto power and the ability to mandate things. They're typically the ones "with the power". That's alright. Every school needs its administrators, seeing as we spend most of our time learning and not administrating.

Then, the Student Government is congress. The legislative branch. They can propose ideas and pass them. They can overrule a veto with a 2/3 majority. They plan the budget (within reason. A lot of that goes to the board). They represent the people from specific parts of the student body (freshmen, sophomores, etc).

And the Disciplinary Committee is the Supreme Court. And I think disputes between the students and administration on things should go to the DC as well as rule-breaking-issues. Like the issue of junior driving when seniors are gone, for example. Let the DC moderate between the administration and the students.

We need to organize.

It really bothers me that our current Student Government clearly puts a lot of effort into their responsibilities (mostly) and are getting basically nothing out of it. Mr Y told me today that the Student Government is a 'representative body', not a 'legislative body'. They're like Elanor Holmes Norton. They can talk, kind of, but they have no vote. Actually, at least the DC Congresswoman-ish-thing has opportunities to speak. Student Government seems to lurk in the shadows.

My god.

So students, assemble! Cast off your shackles! Speak loudly! Approach the powers that be! Make yourselves known! Refuse to be silenced!

Love always,
Clara

P.S. Love Always Clara officially endorses Grace and Marie. I don't feel at liberty to endorse anyone from my own grade, seeing as I'm not even sure who I'm going to vote for. I love all of us too much, and I fear there's nothing we can do anyways.

English

Mrs D: Sam has a new philosophy

David: What?

Ms D: Pan-hedonism

Samlet: With compromise.

Candace: Move! I don't want to sit by Bam! I don't like sitting by Bam!

Samlet: Let's use our words.

Skype is my new favorite thing.

It's easy to write a play where everyone dies. It's lazy. It's cheap.

it was beautiful, but it didn't mean a thing to me

Song line wouldn't let it go. I want to say it's Death Cab for Cutie, but I don't remember what song.

Love always,
Clara

I love having free blocks

I had less than two hours of classes today.

Think about that.

I read a great Atlantic article on introverts.

(via Julia Allison)

It got me thinking about the way I think. I'm a person who likes to reflect. I've called it my nostalgic predisposition before, but that's not quite it. 

Definitely a component of my introversion though. Which is why I blog.

It's kind of a paradox. It might seem that since I do so much rambling over here, it means that I'm extroverted and want to make noise for the sake of it.

Not quite the case. I mean, I do like to make noise. I know this about myself.

But the reason I blog is more something like this:

I used to do a lot of my existing inside my head, if you know what I mean. I had a theory freshman year that if I went a whole day without speaking, no one would notice. Not that I was quiet, I just didn't ever share anything of value.

Or okay, I guess I must have, but this was at the beginning that I developed this theory and I don't know, fourteen year old girls have feeble self-esteems.

Point is, I lived inside my head. And I blogged for myself only.

I would try to put myself out there into the world, but I've come to accept the fact that I'm not very good at that.

Thus, the next rational step is try to put the world inside my head.

World, welcome to my head.

Blogging, ironically, might be the biggest indicator of my introversion. This is the way I like to communicate my thoughts- alone. But to people.

I'm an introvert who also loves the spotlight. My god. I need to start making sense, and soon.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. My royal Estonian ancestry was written up in the Washington Post today. It's true, bitchessss.

New fascination alert!

Was it here where I was mentioning how much I missed Lonelygirl15?

I think it might have been.

Well, I have found the replacement!

It is called Sorority Forever and I read about it in the Washington Post this weekend and now I'm watching it and Jessica Rose is in it and it's the right combination of frivolous and creepy.

Here- I am obsessed.

Love always,
Clara

EDIT: the ending is stupid. I'm less impressed.

Weekends are super.

My god.

I love being a teenager.

I also love discovering that I know where Rock Creek Parkway is. Driving is fun.

Love always,
Clara

I have a headache

Damn pollen.

I was in entirely too much nature today. I think the only solid time I spent inside was the AP latin exam and the spring play.

During the AP Latin exam, I wrote my final letter:

Dear College Board/ETS,

Hello again. Last night when I wasn't studying for this exam, I had an interesting conversation about Plato and the cave. It was quickly established that your institution operates completely and fully in the shadows.

But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

Sincerely,

Clara

The spring play was amazing. I love you guys.

Oh, then I went to McDonalds. I actually really hate McDonalds, but Sam made me feel guilty for pushing him out of coffee yesterday because I wanted to study latin (although I ended up having a conversation about Plato and the cave, which I just mentioned), so I went.

Sam made some rudeish comment about [redacted school] skanks, and how their school must not have a fitness program. He, I suppose, would describe these girls as 'corpulent'. Or, similar to a dirigible (or however it's spelled. It was a spring play term, and it means hot air balloon). Something like that.

Then I went home.

Funny that spellcheck doesn't recognize the word "skanks".

Love always,
Clara

The last of the worst

Today is my last AP.

Thank jesus.

Yesterday I went to coffee with this intense intention (etymological connection? I don't know.) to study for latin, which I did for a little bit, and then Eleni and Claire and Lily and I got to talking about Plato and the cave.

And I started talking about my wonderful conversation with Alexandra about that which is real and that which is not real, seeing as so much of what we interact with on a daily basis (grades, numbers, systems, etc) are simply figments of our imaginations, and other people's imaginations too, thus making them real enough to be a bother.

So I mentioned that during the conversation I was barefoot in the grass, and that was real.

So we decided we needed to find some grass to put our toes in as well, and we went back to school.

Ended up in a field of buttercups.

Life is wonderful. Upon reading that, it looks like we were on acid or something.

Not the case.

After today life will be even more wonderful, because I will have 3 classes and 3 free blocks, plus lunch and chorus.

I'm beginning to tolerate the library in its weirdness. Just not during lunch. Never.

Love always,
Clara

I love Mr C.

Mr C: I'm going to let us have this day to work on the lab analysis.

Me: Mr C, you are a god among men.

Mr C: Actually, I am. Or a goddess, according to Hanna.

We're singing "Love is Little" in chorus. This strikes us as funny.

Tristan: Size doesn't matter.

Harris: It's about the motion in the ocean.

...

Mr R: The Shakers died out because they didn't believe in reproduction

Me: Because their love was little?!

Mr R: *lists things that the younger chorus did today that irritated him*

Mr R: Thank you for not taking off your shoes, whistling...

Tristan: I could take off my shirt if you want me to.

Me: I want you to.

Tristan: ... that was decisive.

Yazzy says- yay blog! clara is sexy.

I never told you about my chem letter! Or rather, the letter I wrote to the College Board/ETS during my AP Chem exam.

Dear College Board/ETS,

I hope this exam went well. Honestly, I can't care anymore. I hope you know apathy is the only thing keeping me sane right now. Fine scholarly folk as you are, I'm sure your goal is not to extinguish the spark of curiosity in the younger generations. I hope you see what you're doing.

Cordially,

Clara

Sam just tried to give me wings with a yardstick because he's an idiot.

Love always,
Clara

in the library.

Samlet (to Will) (slowly): I... want... to... sex you up!

Me: ... That's awkward.

Samlet: I don't know if I give you permission to blog that. Sarah, if you read on Clara's blog that I said I wanted to sex Will up, would you think less of me?

Sarah: I would think more of you.

Samlet: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Sarah, Elle, and I (in a whisper): Spongebob Squarepants!

Love always,
Clara

Hamlet.

We're playing a Hamlet game. Last night I told Indraneel I was Hamlet.

Bam: Clara, Sam's new name is Samlet

Samlet: Stop calling me Samlet!

Me: Time is standing still! Shh! Shh! Silence...

I told Indraneel I was Hamlet because I was losing my mind.

Make that "am". I am losing my mind.

Here's Samlet:

This is my first guest post of many, in a new series named Samlet Says. Samlet says that work is highly overated, but also incredibly addictive, so we should all go into slacker rehab, and stop working. Not working is the only way to stimulate our lives, and thus the economy. Live above the influence!

That was Samlet. He should make his own blog.

Hamlet didn't hurt his mother.

Neither did I, because I'm Hamlet.

I hope everyone I know doesn't die or go crazy... That would suck.

Words words words.

I like shiny things.

Sam likes shiny things?

Love always,
Clara

Pre-latin mumblings.

Suzanna: These are the pencils I get shipped to my house!

AJ: Well I fashion pencils in my basement.

Bailey: Really now? Where are they?

AJ: They haven't... emerged... yet.

Latin finals suck. But they are not the most important thing. 

Love always,
Clara

Yikes.

If you were driving on the G.W. Parkway going east between 5 and 5:30 and happened to see a blonde girl having a nervous breakdown in a red volvo...

that was me.

Sorry if I distracted you from your driving.

I have a resolution that makes me feel a little bit better about the world.

This resolution is: I need to start hugging more people at every opportunity. For some people, this may mean mandatory hugging every time I see them. If they object, resistance is futile.

Seriously, why must the earth crumble at the edges right when everything seems to be wonderful?

I realize much of the time I've spent in my life has been spent waiting for something else to happen, until like, last year or this year (can't put my finger on it).

And just when I've figured out how to live, everything changes quite drastically.

Honestly, if you don't know what I'm talking about by now, ask me at school. Not internet worthy, but quite interesting circumstances.

Things I just said to my mom:

"I have so much stupid shit to do. I want to just go in there to school teachers and say 'look, don't expect me to do well on your stupid shit, because I have my own shit going on, and I can't be bothered by your shit, because there's a lot of shit on my mind.' Shit!"

I love that my mom did not bat an eye when this conversation transpired.

I also love that my mom calls me 'grasshopper' but only when we're texting.

And that we text.

I like lentils also.

Love always,
Clara

True stories.

Things are beginning to come to a slow close.

We had our last real latin class today. Eleni made mint brownies for the sake of nostalgia.

Mrs D: Sam, stop texting!

Sam: I'm not texting, I'm looking up directions to London.

Some people should just be shot. Rebecca, Abby and I agree on this. Abby being Daphna's roommate at camp this past summer. Abby was great.

Love always,
Clara

The household.

The sister comes downstairs

Sister: You've gotten shorter

Me: Since this morning?

Sister: I don't know. Since I last saw you stand up.

Me: I have gotten shorter since this morning.

Sister: I know. Everyone does.

Me: I know.

The sister goes upstairs.

Welcome to my household. These conversations happen.

I told my dog today that he in no way resembled a lima bean.

Um this is my life.

Now I'm trying to figure out whether optimistic nihilism makes any sense.

Love always,
Clara

Sam and I are going to fight.

Sam: (calls Katie Clara)

Katie: You just called me Clara, by the way.

Sam: I'm sorry, it's because I like her better.

Me: I will fight you.

Sam: I will eat your face

Me: I will still fight you

Sam: You will be in my belly!

Me: I'll fight you, from there!

Math class is crazy.

Yar: Woooop! ... I'm sorry

Hanna: It wasn't Yar, it was the calculator. It's revenge for always calling it an autonomoton.

Shivani: Grier, your hair is... in the way.

Me: I was going to say 'pretty'

Mr H: Let's all take a moment to admire Grier's hair... Is that not what we were talking about? ... Okay.

Me: That was uncomfortable

Quote without context (and if anyone remembers who said it, tell me)

"Think about this in the realm of thought"

We're talking in physics now about light.

Mr C: Yellow under RGB?

People: Cyan! Green!

(We come to the consensus that the answer is Yellow)

Me: Are we really arguing about this? You have a yellow piece of paper under white light. What color is it?

Reilley: ... Cyan!

Mr C: We're going to talk about one more thing: Blue Sky, Red Sunset.

Chanel: That sounds like a bad romance novel.

(later)

Mr C: So why is that?

*Katie and I say things about angles and oxygen but we're both a little lost and BSing it*

Mr C: Yes. Angles and Oxygen. That's the second in the trilogy.

Shivani: I would love to live on the moon. Have a little house... and a puppy.

Me: I would love to have a puppy on them moon.

Shivani: It could bounce.

Anneka: (about pigs) There's this one at Reston Zoo that if you rub it's belly it goes on its back, it's so cute!

Drew: And then you get swine flu!

Quote without context: "Can I have one of those sticks of magic?"

I don't even know what the context for that was.

Love always,
Clara

Watching TV...

I should be studying, or reading Boom, or going to bed, or something good.

Twice today I heard a voice and thought it might be a hallucination and then realized it was Lily. Which is way better than a hallucination.

Today I was sitting in the library after school, and Grace says "who here drives?" and I said "I do" and she said "Want to go to Chipotle?" and I said "No but I want to leave the school, let's go"

So we drove around, decided we wanted ice cream, and went to McDonalds. We got McFlurries. They were great.

We are two peas in a pod, and pageant sisters.

Then I tried to teach a kid how to add. It's hard to teach things that you've known so long they feel like second nature.

Today has been crazy.

The past week or so, I've needed a hug. Tom gave me a hug the other day. Tom is great. Claire is also great. I could list all of the people who have indulged my hugging-disposition, and call them all great, but listing them takes time and just know, you are great, hugging people.

Smile! It's Monday!

Love always,
Clara

Books and whatnot

I just wrote this on facebook:

"um if that is Nietzche in German then I'm excited"

Another daily dorkiness reminder, coming to you from Clara B.

In other news, my dad decided to make friends with a homeless woman today, and I told her about the intricate boy issues in my life.

Then I began to read Boom by Tom Brokaw and I am a fan, eighty pages in.

The great thing about that is that I'm reading it for a history project, but I also really enjoy it.

I've been in a big book-reading mood lately. I'm currently in the middle of On The Road, but when I was at the train station in Philadelphia I realized I'd left it at home and bought The Dharma Bums (also by Kerouac, which I'd been told to read after On The Road but got impatient) and Lolita (which I didn't want to read on a train, but wanted to read).

So I have a lot of books now and I'm excited about it.

That last sentence was ANOTHER dorkiness reminder.

Yikes.

Whatever, I love it.

Love always,
Clara

Happy Mother's Day

In other news, this week (in my mind) is the last to be endured.

(I still can't properly pronounce that word by the way, and every time I think it I think "endooor" and giggle to myself and miss the musical).

All weeks after this one will be relatively painless and generally wonderful.

Until exams, but I only have two anyways.

For now, I should prepare for the last worst week.

Study for APs, do physics labs, etc.

Gross.

Love always,
Clara

I spend a lot of time...

... Hiding in trees.

I was going through my facebook pictures (for a sort of compilation video thing that is to come) and realized this trend.

Check it out:

So maybe it's a thing with me, trees.

I was at Swarthmore today talking to a girl about how we liked the trees there and this guy gave us this look like "um you are at this wonderful college and you are thinking about trees?"

But it's a national arboretum. They're really great trees.

Love always,
Clara

College-ing

I'm at Swarthmore right now.

I must say, I had forgotten how much I liked this place.

I'm trying to figure out what to say, because I know I had something to say. It's infuriating when that happens.

I think I've just been doing so much sentence-composing that my writing capacity is fried. Today in the history AP, I wrote something like "In Kansas, with popular sovereignty, fought over slavery" and then realized that was definitely NOT a real sentence.

Not that I just gave anything away about the AP questions or answers or whatever. I swear. It was one stentence out of context and OH PLEASE COLLEGE BOARD DON'T DECEND ON MY HOME WITH YOUR HELICOPTERS.

So yeah.

I wrote them another letter today. It went something like this:

Dear College Board/ETS

I hope I did well on this test, but my friend pointed something out to me. Her logic is extraordinary. It goes like this: A lot of things happen in America. The important things that happen are on the AP US History exam. The AP US History exam will never be on the AP US History exam. Therefore, the AP US History exam is not important. She is very smart, and you should give us both 5s, but it's okay if you don't.

Cordially,

Clara

I didn't write "love always" because I've never loved the College Board and I probably never will. We have a mutual toleration I think.

You, on the other hand, blog world, I love. That was an anastrophe.

Today I had an argument with Sam because I tried to use an ablative absolute in english. It made perfect sense, if you think in latin.

That sentence above, the anastrophe, I did it on purpose. I wanted to build the suspense, saving the most important bit of the sentence for last. You can do that in latin. Not so much in english, without sounding like a lunatic.

What a shame.

I wonder how often I talk about latin in this lovely blog.

Probably, in proportion to my posts and in comparison to other blogs, pretty frequently.

There I go again, saving the point for the end of the sentence. My god.

Learn english, Clara.

Love always,
Clara

David is super.

Quote with only the context that David tends to call "tweets" "twats" because yes, he twitters, because all the cool kids do and if you don't yet, you're not cool. Yet. There's hope.

Anyway, onto the quote-

David: Look at my twat.

David: That is not sexual harassment.

Also, asking people to prom with mission impossible themed voice recordings is very clever. Props to David.

I'm really into this everyone-being-creative thing.

The next letter I write to the College Board will probably not be so polite.

I've found when I'm laughing on the computer, typing "hahahahahahaha", I begin to think that the sound of laughter sounds very much like the sound of keys clicking. I think in my head, "clickclickclickclickclick" in a happy joyful way.

Oh god, that last sentence makes me sound like more of a lunatic than usual. 

Oh well, not erasing it.

That may have been a comma splice, but I'm not erasing that either.

Love always,
Clara

So.

1. I live for coffee. Greenberry's, specifically. I am such a fan.
2. If you put milk in iced coffee you are a girl. Or sam. I'm a man.
3. I should take Lily's advice and avoid falling off the earth. She is incredible.
4. AP English was actually fun. I had not anticipated that.
5. APUSH tomorrow will not be fun. This I know for sure. (If you know what I'm referencing you're awesome)
6. I've had about seventeen nervous breakdowns in the past four days, and I am actually literally on the brink of madness.
7. I really should get around to learning german.
8. Walking to CVS never fails to stabilize me.
9. Rain helps.
10. I wrote a letter to the College Board on my 'scratch paper' today.

It read like this:

Dear College Board/ETS,

I will play your games, but know that some of my peers take them seriously. I would recommend you make it more clear that this is not a matter of life and death, but rather numbers and bubbles.

Real Conversations with coffee-

Sam: Claire, you're crazy. I don't even know you, but you're crazy.

Me: Actually, if you did know her, that might be an okay thing to say.

Me: So he made a mix CD and the first letter of every song spelled "MARGOPROM"

Claire: Margoprom?

Sam: It's supposed to be "Margo, prom?" not "MARGOPROM". That sounds like a transformer or something.

Sam: "I'll be back"

So that was funny.

Love always,
Clara

I want to be an astronaut

Cath has been asked to prom via physics worksheet. I find it very creative.

Cath: He said, 'as friends'.

Mr C: Well what else? "As lovers"?

Hanna: Would you like to go to prom with me 'as newlyweds?'

It is seriously one of those days. And today I have obligations so I can't run away in the rain.

I drew a heart on the board. Mr C erased it. 

I find this a great metaphor for school. It kills my soul.

Now we're playing with lenses.

Cath: Katie, your eye looks good magnified

Katie: Thanks. You look good big and blurry.

Love always,
Clara

Apologies.

That was a weird post last night. I was having a moment of madness.

It is what is known in the world of psychology and after school specials as a "cry for help"

The thing about the sky exploding is from a song, by the way. I'm not crazy. Or I am, but the song is "Avera Kedavra" by Age of Rockets.

So I wrote that and I grabbed my phone and sent text messages in every direction and got my ipod and put on a sweatshirt and took a walk.

I almost took a drive, but realized if I gave myself car keys I might find myself in Carlisle Pennsylvania with no gas and little money, in the dark, with literally nowhere to go.

And I walked from my house all the way down past the old movie theater before I realized I had no idea where I was going. So I turned around and walked to Ross and stood there in the body wash/ugly handbag section freaking out some more. With my phone.

Then I was told to get a book so I walked to the bookstore and bought it. At that point it was raining. A normal person would have gone home but I didn't want to, not at all, so then I went down to the river and bought an egg roll, and walked back home after that because I didn't want my parents to beat me home and wonder where I'd gone.

Then I ate my egg roll and read some Kerouac and didn't do my english homework.

And now I'm in Latin.

Wishing I could give more details. Some of you know.

Love always,
Clara

i am needing some oxygen.

the sky explodes

the sky explodes

the sky explodes

the sky explodes

i miss my dog. he's sick but he'll be better soon.

this is what happens when clara ceases to function.

she stops capitalizing letters.

except that the last ones are always capitalized, because there's a setting on blogger to make a 'signature'. and this is mine:

Love always,
Clara

Just got here

So that was a long drive.

I made it three hours longer by accident. I left my purse at a Starbucks in Stafford County and realized it an hour later. Someone stole my credit card within like ten minutes and tried to spend $200 at Wawa.

Things that could possibly cost $200 at Wawa, according to Daphna:

• 50 pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream
• Handcuffs and whipped cream

Everything else was still inside, so that's good. I wouldn't want to lose my camera after the pretty awesome footage I got last night.

David's nephews are both funny and obscene. I think it's always funny when nephews (or other children) who are four and six start saying obscene and inappropriate things to one another.

I am so tired.

Cryptic crosswords are way cooler than normal ones because it doesn't matter what random facts you know, it matters how mentally insane you are.

The sun has gone to bed and so must I.

Love always,
Clara

Pandora rocks my world

I'm actually in love with this. Have been for a while.

Things that are yummy

• Sushi
• Sour watermelon gummy things
• Yazzy's hummus
• Pizza

People who should eat less: Me.

That aside, I'm about to go drive to North Carolina with my dad. College impressions to come. I need to record them, because I tend to space out and forget which was what.

Love always,

Clara

What a day.

Between SAT2s and this Sadie's nonsense tonight (and I mean nonsense with the best possible connotations- I am, after all, an absurdist. I live for nonsense), this has been/will be a hectic day of highs and lows.

I just got a pedicure. I had kind of wanted to calm myself down (seeing as I am stressed out like no other right now, which is very unlike me, and in that regard, incredibly frustrating) but it backfired because the lovely pedicure woman was obsessed with whipping my toes into shape.

Not that they're out of shape or anything, but she took a kind of militant approach to my cuticles.

And when I tried to tell her it hurt, she thought I said the water was too hot, so started running my feet under cold water.

No thank you.

So that was super, and now I'm at home figuring out how to be preppy. 

Shocking that I'd almost forgotten. I went through a hardcore prep phase between 7th and 8th grades, extending a little into freshman year. 

Quote without context-

Me: Mom, if you were twenty, single, at [the country club], and trying to seduce someone... while playing tennis, what would you wear?

Real conversation yesterday at May Day:

David: Is that [redacted]'s sister?

Me: Yeah I think so.

David: That was mean of him to hog all the good looks.

Too funny.

Love always,
Clara

Sex!

Me: I like that this celebration is a bunch of kids dancing around a phallic symbol. Our school is special.

Katie: I know. Most schools celebrate like, easter, and we get an awesome pagan fertility ritual. I'd rather watch this than a guy being tortured and turning into a zombie.

Me: Exactly. Sex or violence? Sex!

It's May Day.

Enough said.

SAT2s are tomorrow. No thank you.

Love always,
Clara

The Easter Bunny

Alexandra: Look, it's Mr J! It's like seeing the Easter Bunny!

We're talking about the love switch. Which doesn't exist. Unfortunately.

Poor Catullus is trying to flip his love switch, but he can't. Neither can any of us.

Psh.

Love always,
Clara