A flurry.

Today, I woke up to my mother leading two random women up my stairs to my room.

Seriously. I was sleeping. And they woke me up and tried to give me a packing pep talk. And I was grumpy to them, I'm sure, because

1) They woke me up

2) I don't like being told what to do

3) I've been grumpy anyways, as noted.

There were the strange random women, and there were the idiot moving men. One of these idiot moving men is pretty good at the piano, so I have newfound respect for him, but still. The random women were there to organize, and the moving men were there to lift things and tape boxes shut. I guess they had a nice team going, but it all irritated me.

I did some packing and some cleaning and some dust-unsettling, and then my brain stopped working around two (due to the dust. It's been killer) so I went downstairs and got my car keys and got in my car. And then I decided to go to a movie.

So I went and saw a 3:05 show ing of The Ugly Truth. Which I really enjoyed, although it was completely inappropriate.

This is the world.

Then I came back, and I figured "Oh, it's five, the movers should be done by now"

I think they're still here.

And my bedroom is weirdly empty.

And the whole house is like that, but it's most pronounced in my bedroom. Because my bedroom tends to be an explosion of the past and present, as if a tornado had hit a filing cabinet that documented my life. Something like my brain.

And now it's empty.

My brain on the other hand, is still in its typical tornado state.

Love always,
Clara

Delirious.

That is a word that describes my mom and I tonight

Hurting.

That is a word that describes my head.

Real Conversation-

Context is that I am lying on the floor of my parents' bedroom with a robe covering my head, and it is midnight.

Me: I'm dead. Do not interrupt me.

Mom: Clara, what about those blankets?

Me: Mom I dont even know what you're talking about

Mom: *pause* I don't either! Who's kidding who?

Chili's mad at mom. I said it's because she's being a psycho bitch. But I was joking and she thought it was funny, for the record. Just in case.

THE PEOPLE ARE COMING TOMORROW AND WHAT TO MAKE OF THAT? ICH WEISS ES NICHT!

Love always,
Clara

New novel idea!

Or rather, an announcement that I've completely scrapped the other one. And I'm going back to an interesting idea I had during latin trip.

Taylor and Tom and Eric and James were talking about apocalyptic scenarios. And someone asked, "What if there were a giant meteor heading toward earth, and we knew about it, and there was nothing at all that we could do to stop it?"

And Taylor, I believe, ever the logical man, said that the world's governments would probably distribute cyanide pills and hope for the best.

And I had this idea- What if that happened, but the meteor never hit? And suddenly most everyone is dead but the world is still fine? What would happen to the survivors?

Meet my 2009 NaNoWriMo Novel.

Anyway, this is going to have this sort of wonderful absurdist tone.

One of the ways I get my characters straightened out is make them do myspace surveys, the ones that are like "What's your name? What's your birthday? What's your favorite movie? What color is your underwear?" etc. One just asked Olive (my main character) what the last movie she watched was. She answered:

"haha we watched 'I Am Legend' the other night to count our blessings. there are no zombies here"

If that gives you any indication as to what kind of book this'll be.

In other completely unrelated news, the people come for my items tomorrow. What the heck. I feel like I'm in that holocaust quote- (First they came for the books, and I did not speak out-- because I was not reading those books. Then they came for the clothes, and I did not speak out--)

Except not at all.

There is still a profound sense of loss here. Despite the fact that I'll get some of the items back when I arrive. And I'll get the others in... October.

Yeah. Moving overseas is really fun.

Love always,
Clara

Things I am looking forward to

• Skiing
• Speaking german and getting good at it
• Taking online classes
• Taking a class at the University of Berne
• Swiss boys
• Swiss college boys
• Meeting otherwise cool people
• Having occasions to wear dresses
• Coming back for senior projects
• Escaping DC drama
• New experiences

I have to remind myself of this.

I leave August 14.

And I can't wait. Like, literally. I don't know how to deal with this waiting period. I went out and walked Old Town texting Daphna for like, almost an hour. It started to kind of rain. Whatever, I was still wearing sunglasses. They work as rainglasses too, you know.

Walking around and texting in the rain... this is my therapy. Mental breakdown? Time to walk around in the rain!

Also, my mom is making joking-noises about actually going to Nantucket the second week of August. I really want her not to be joking.

Love always,
Clara

Dear god.

I was one of those kids who was into aliens and ghosts and stuff. I still am, kind of, but now it's more of an entertainment thing than a "let's discover the secrets of the world" thing.

I guess some people never grow out of that.

Anyway, for the purposes of my November novel, which has yet to be titled (seeing as it's July, I've got some time), I decided to google 'Conspiracy Theories'.

I had no idea.

Or, I had assumed that this sort of thing existed, but I had no idea it was so centralized and whatnot.

Among the most popular topics:

• 2012 End Times
• Aliens and UFOs
• War on Terrorism
• 9/11 Conspiracies
• Paranormal Studies
• Conspiracies in Religions
• Secret Societies
• New World Order
• Science & Technology
• Aircraft Projects (really?)
• Ancient & Lost Civilizations
• Predictions and Prophecies
• Swine Flu and other Diseases

It's like, proof against itself. Seriously. Suppose I'm only a slight nutcase, and I think that Swine Flu is definitely related to a conspiracy. If I found this website, I'm more likely to think "Wow, aliens. There's a lot of bullshit here, including my beliefs" than "Oh hey I'm right about Swine Flu and WOW THE WORLD IS SINISTER"

But this website will be awesome novel inspiration. Details to come.

Love always,
Clara

I love my dog.

I was just eating a cookie. It was pretty good. Chili wanted it.

Me: *takes bite*

Chili: COOKIE. I'M GOING TO STARE AT IT.

Me: Oh do you want it? Sorry. You're a dog, and this cookie is mine.

Chili: MAYBE IF I LICK YOUR HAND YOU'LL GIVE IT TO ME?

Me: Nice try. I see through your tricks.

Me: *finishes cookie*

Chili: I am no longer interested in you

... later...

Chili: I WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU SO HERE IS A TOY

Me: Oh Chili I'm blogging

Chili: OMG MOM'S VOICE! I'M GOING DOWNSTAIRS! BYE!

Love always,
Clara

Advice

Cary Tennis is insane and hilarious.

The best quote:

Some days I ask myself if I want to live and the answer is eight pelicans going north in a gray sky.

I love reading these advice things. Cary Tennis's are hysterical and baffling, but I also read Ask Abby and the like, for the entertainment value. And I listen to Dawson McAllister... same idea.

So I've decided something-

You know, I'd really rather think about the problems of other people than my own stupid. Please write me emails about your problems at advice.lovealways@gmail.com

Legit. Or non-legit. I'd almost prefer non-legit. Because those are likely to be more interesting. Unless you have interesting and legit problems. In which case, PLEASE EMAIL ME ABOUT THEM.

In fact, just email me a question and I'll answer it. For example, this would be completely acceptable:

Dear Clara,

I have not thought about enough math this summer break. Can you direct me towards some interesting math that might go over your own head a little?

Very Bored

Dear Bored person

I think this is pretty cool. But I am also a nerd. But so are you, I would suppose, asking for math in the middle of the summer.

Sincerely,

Clara

Funny flashback- on my 7th/8th grade blog, International News of Anonymous, I had a similar setup. Very non-legit. Also hilarious. It was more centered on 7th grade issues, which, real or fictional, tend to be trivial to the point of absurdity.

Anyway, ask me things!

Love always,
Clara

We need to talk.

Sorry.

My dad pointed something out to me today. And that is that I have been grumpy lately. And I hope I haven't been obnoxious to my friends (or to you, dear blog), but I know I have been to my family.

And I'm basically okay with that, as terrible as it sounds.

I'm not pleased with them right now.

The problem, I've decided, is that our stress-coping-mechanisms are incompatible. Specifically mine and my mother's.

I like to do things on my own. I like to look at the big picture, and not get wrapped up in details that aren't important. I am also a master of denial. I have been determined to keep my life semi-normal until I am actually on the airplane to Switzerland.

Mom, on the other hand, likes to plan in advance. It gives her a sense of control, I suppose. She likes details. A lot. And I also suspect that she, like most people, likes to feel like she's doing something important. So she's pretty wrapped up up in the planning of minute details like they're the end-all-be-all.

Basically, I'm up here in my room going through my bookcase, reading my old notebooks, going about my life, and she's downstairs doing insane things that don't matter. Like packing half-used rolls of scotch tape. What the heck. They have scotch tape in Switzerland.

(My general strategy in terms of packing is, Bring what matters to me. Bring the essentials. Hers is OH MY GOD! THIS HOUSE HAS THINGS IN IT! I HAVE TO PUT THEM IN A BOX!)

And now Mom and Dad are putting together the swearing-in invite list, and wondering who to invite and who's in town and it all just seems like such unimportant bullshit.

Once I get to Switzerland I'll be happier.

But I know that a lot of "public diplomacy" is dinner parties, which kind of necessitates unimportant bullshit.

I'm not a fan.

SO that's why I'm grumpy. I am irritated by my parents, and I am irritated by how little my mom knows about me and how I work and how I do things, and how important she thinks her job is. Packing is going to get done. With or without her crazy stress.

And I think my dad understands my mannerisms a little better, but that doesn't mean he can do anything about it. He's busy anyway. Understandably.

I've decided to like Switzerland.

But I have no obligation to be cheerful during the dismantle-your-life period. None at all.

Sorry.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. If either of my parents read this, which I know they do occasionally, hello. I see you there. And I don't take it back.

I replace one thing with another

I give away boxes and boxes of books. And I buy songs and songs and songs. Guess what? Songs are easier to take across the ocean than books.

And songs can live in my head.

And my god, music is what's keeping me alive. Except when it's killing me (remember the 'the sky explodes' debacle? That was music's fault).

Anyway, I purge my bedroom, and I get to binge on music! It's like super fun moving bulimia! But with songs and books!

Here's the latest batch-

Fix You Up - Tegan and Sara

Too Late - Natalie Walker

Moths - This Is the Kit

Just Another One - A Rocket to the Moon

The Guy That Says Goodbye to You is Out of his Mind - Griffin House

Remember When (California) - Tim Myers

The Piano Song - A Cursive Memory

Back to Where I Was - Eric Hutchinson

Coyotes - Jason Mraz

Ain't That Right - G. Love [Those last three were inspired by the concert last night. So great]

Blue Light - Bloc Party

Glittering Clouds (Locusts) - Imogen Heap

Catch Me - Demi Lovato

I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas

So those should keep me alive for another couple weeks. Plus I've still got Daphna's CD entitled "Clara Wants a Tree" in my car, and I haven't switched over to fully appreciate the second one, "Botany/Prostitution". I've heard the songs on my Recently Added shuffle, but I haven't listened to them in the way that I listen to songs when I'm driving. That is, intensely.

Love always,
Clara

It's summer, but...

There's never a bad time for a good old rant on the state of education!

Apparently boys need better schools. Okay, fine, but what about girls?

The article basically says, "Schools want kids to sit still, and boys aren't wired to sit still, and so they get the short end of the stick and end up not learning much."

Which I would say is pretty true, especially in Lower and Middle school. Boys were crazy then. Like, completely mad.

The one issue I have with this whole thing, though, is that I don't think girls are wired to sit still either. We're better at it, but by no means do we enjoy it. According to the article girls are more interested in gaining the teacher's approval, but feminist-clara is prone to thinking that's a product of society, and not always a good thing. Being a girl myself, I know that we're pretty frequently seeking approval from others- it's even evident in the way we speak.

Real Conversation-

Dad: Okay you get out. I'm going to go park the car.

Me: Okay well there's a spot over there, right?

Dad: Yeah. Oh! That's it!

Me: What?

Dad: When your mom and I were talking about wedding plans with Stephanie, she would say things like that. Like, "This cake is good, right?" or "That's a nice color, right?" I was trying to remember how she would phrase it. That's it!

So I'm not sure the approval-seeking thing is always a good thing. Girls and our fragile little self-esteems, we're dangerous.

Anyways.

Basically, it annoyed me that this author was fine with girls being put through the generally un-engaging educational system, because we were capable of dealing with it, but she had this completely awesome hypothetical plan for boys.

What would a perfect school for boys be like? Classes would be small and held outside half the time. Boys of all abilities and temperaments would build, paint, draw, take things apart, play computer games and listen to music while reading if they felt like it. If they wanted to write about volcanoes instead of the weather, or study the Civil War in January instead of September, why not let them choose? And, if they wanted to do math standing up or run a few laps between exams, why not?

Um, that sounds sweet.

Sign me up.

I'm a hypocrite though. I'm taking three of my classes online next year. Talk about flexibility. My god.

Love always,
Clara

Stirring up dust... and memories

The room-purge continues.

I've discovered I keep a lot of things without any good reason.

Except nostalgia.

Which is actually a pretty bad reason. Because when I stumble on these things that I've kept for the sake of nostalgia, I feel... nostalgic. And that's really not such a great feeling.

Example- Old CTY notebooks. I'm actually bringing those with me. For nostalgia's sake. Why do I put myself through that? No idea.

Another example- I still had my school planner from every year of high school (you know, so far). And I realized I could go back and see what kind of distracted mood I was in by looking through the pages. Like

• "Hm, in December 2006 I was sort of alone-feeling and out of it... those are dark scribbles"
• "Oh, in May of 2007, I was really happy! Look at those flowers everywhere!"
• "And September 2007 was like, a weird angsty month"
• "Oh hey, all of the novembers have stick figures all over them. Must be my novel characters!"

So that's pretty weird.

Also, I had my old Model Congress binders and notebooks. I have no idea why I kept those. It's not like I even have that strong emotional ties to Model Congress. I just enjoy it.

I do know that I kept this year's PMC notebook for the incredible doodle I did during the keynote speech. I was listening, I swear, but I pay better attention when my hands are kept busy.

I haven't even begun to pack/sort/purge my closet. That's going to be the hardest part. I have this mindset that perhaps, one day, I'll want to wear that awkwardly-cut-green-shirt-from-freshman-year and I'll be so upset that I gave it away.

I need to lose that mindset. Now.

Love always,
Clara

Lord of the Flies?

I had this really weird dream last night.

It was at school, kind of, but everyone was always in the Preston Gym, sitting at lunch tables in rows. And someone wanted to systematically kill us all while we ate our cereal.

Katie was there, eating cereal, very calm about the whole thing. Will kept telling me to read Lord of the Flies, which in the dream I hadn't read, but in real life I have. In fact, copies of Lord of the Flies were showing up everywhere in the dream.

The people who wanted to systematically kill us all decided to do random executions by breathing fire on one arbitrary lunch table at a time. That was kind of exciting.

Also, I've had several dreams in which someone has cut off my hair lately. Do you think that's like, a symbol for something? It sounds like the sort of thing that would mean that I'm secretly in love with my mother or something.

Love always,
Clara

My Dad's side...

There was a family barbeque-type-gathering tonight. My cousin Zach is engaged, and it was my grandfather's girlfriend's birthday, and my dad was confirmed, so they figured they'd throw a little party.

My aunt Kathy never fails to crack me up.

Zach: You haven't forgotten your favorite nephew scuttlebutt?

Kathy: Ohh! *smacks him*

Zach: Did Kathy just smack my ass?

Kathy: That was a terrible thing to say! Scuttlebutt....

Zach: ... that was a new experience...

Jordy told this hilarious story involving himself going on vacation with friends who think they know french. Apparently they were trying to go out to a club or something, and they were asking the owner (on the phone) if it was open. Except the owner spoke french. And my cousin Jordy does not. So Jordy's friend says "Oh, give me the phone, I speak french."

Jordy: Okay here

Friend: *assumes french accent* Halloooooo? Are you open?

Jordy and other friend: *laughter*

Friend: You guys, I'm on the phone! Shut up! HALLOOO?

I'm glad I'm at the point where the older family members no longer feel the need to censor themselves around me. It used to be that I'd walk into an interesting conversation and everyone would stop and be like "Oh Clara, how's school? Still smart like your dad?" at which point I'd have to say "um... I guess so..."

But I'd want to say "I suppose... But I'm definitely smart enough to participate in the non-condescending conversation you were just having. So carry on"

Now they get it, and if the conversation must turn towards me they just ask me about college plans (or now, moving). Which, as I'm sure you all know, gets old fast.

Oh well. They're a fun bunch. Cousins are great all around. And I have so damn many of them :)

Love always,
Clara

Interesting links

I don't have much to say for myself right now, except that I just worked out and I'm all endorphin'd up.

So here are some random and interesting links.

What do British schoolchildren do for fun?

Making maps is complicated and fun! I used to think about this in like, 3rd grade when we had those map-of-america-coloring-assignments.

Vivian will be pleased with me, and this man is hot.

Firemen are communists.

I remember really liking this movie.

Okay that's all I've got. I'm off to a family barbeque. At which I'll eat... fruit?

Love always,
Clara

EDIT: We really are magical and sparkling.

Star Tripping

Last night at the picnic that was supposed to be bowling, Nick taught us a fun game.

I am going to describe it now.

Keep in mind that none of us were on crack while doing this. We looked like we were, we felt like we were, but we were not.

On with the game.

Basically, its a game you have to play outside at night, preferably when the stars are visible. You go into a grassy area and spin around, looking up at the stars (which is hard to do)

Then someone shines a light in your face and you fall over.

It's really funny.

I don't know why.

Something about spinning is really... interesting. There's the fact that it makes you dizzy, what with the fluid in your inner ear going mad, and that makes sense to me, but what I find weird is how things look. Like, our eyes tend to hold on to one image for as long as possible. So when I was looking at the stars last night, they looked like they were jumping.

This is hard to explain.

But basically it was like they would stand still for a bit, and then spin a lot, quickly, to compensate for the amount I'd moved while my eyes were standing still.

Why can't our eyes spin to rotate our vision? Can any animal do that? See upside-down at will? Would that be a useful ability?

Why do I have so many questions about eyes?

Okay I'm a huge nerd. Ignore me.

Love always,
Clara

I LOVE THE ONION

Anyone who's been stalking my twitter knows there's been an abundance of Fish Time.

Basically, I've been reading a lot of The Onion Online lately.

And China has bought it. Or something.

And it's incredible.

And here's a magazine cover.

Okay I'm done with my obsessiveness. Just ask yourself that question next time you lean with your head against a wall.

Love always,
Clara

Another video...

There's only one thing to say here.

I like sunglasses.

Basically Daphna and Phil and I went to Urban Outfitters and I had the presence of mind to bring out the ObamaCam. Chaos ensued.

Love always,
Clara

Spring!

So seeing as it's mid-july, this is late.

But better late than never!

Without further ado, the Exam Week Spring 09 Music Video

Song: Daylight by Matt & Kim

Love always,
Clara

FOUND: OLD DIARY

It has two entries.

(I almost called it a post just now. I'm really getting used to bloglife)

6/17/01

Dear Becca,

I STINK at starting diarys. Yes. the rains slowing down! I can consentrate now! I assume you want to know my name!? Well... OK My name is Clara, Age 9, Lives at (address).

6/19/01

I am so tired! Oh! and so you know, Im a fiary.

That's my diary.

I guess I thought I was a 'fiary' for a little while there. I still kind of think that, actually. I have an alter-ego in my brain and she's basically a fairy.

There was another diary. I would write in it on the way to school in like, first and second grade. I remember using a lot of symbols, because I thought it would be more efficient.

Daphna and I are iChatting it up right now.

Daphna: (joking remark about something)

Me: haha and I TYPED THAT IN AND ERASED IT

Daphna: hahahaha
Me: WHOA WE SHARE MINDS ACROSS STATE BORDERS
Daphna: WE SHOULD PUT ON A SHOW AND CHARGE MONEY
Me: ABSOLUTELY

Love always,
Clara

CDs and some quotes without context

Vivian's here.

Balance is restored to the universe.

She's sitting here on my bed, talking about stalkers with shrines and Helga Pataki. Daph is on the floor organizing her music because we had an epic music-sharing-morning and she likes to have these things in order.

I'm just going to listen to hers as driving mixes.

Although they didn't get the magical secret clara-driving-mix-ordering ritual. So they might not be as magical as mine usually are.

Vivian: You haven't seen the size of my penis. When you see me naked, we'll talk.... (pause)... Daphna's putting me in a mood, and I don't like it.

I had to document that, sorry.

Anyways, when I make driving mixes, I do it specially. If that's a word that applies in this situation. I have my "new songs," songs that I've just downloaded. And then I have my "old classics," which are songs that already have strong emotional ties. And then there are the "random good songs," which need no explanation. And I can't have more than three "old classics" on any one mix of 20ish songs, and I prefer to keep my "new songs" spaced evenly. Also, I like the first song to be a good up beat song, and the last song to be a song that will make me think and feel.

Vivian and Daphna: (simultaneously) 8 PACK, HE'S REALLY JACKED, HE'LL EAT YOU LIKE A SNACK, BECAUSE HE'S 8 PACK!

So I'm not sure whether Daphna's mixes, organized alphabetically by artist, will be good driving mixes. Alphabetically by artist is kind of the worst organization ever, in my opinion, because it keeps similar songs together and makes it easy to predict which will come next. I hate knowing what song is going to come next.

I'm spontaneous and exciting, see?

See how spontaneous my carefully-planned-ritualistic-CD-making is?

Love always,
Clara

The way we communicate

Daphna and I are like, um... yeah! Dictionary!

This is the way we communicate. Several of my home friends have been exposed to she and I in action lately, and they seem to be astounded.

I'm not quite sure how it happens, but we almost always seem to know what the other is talking about. Like, she'll say something really innocuous and ambiguous such as "Remember that time I was talking to that person about that thing, and then he said people would like, like that? About that story?"

And I will know exactly what she's referring to.

I think it's like, a product of our brain-sharing. Like, we met three years ago, and we weren't nearly as tight as we are now, but we were good friends. And then the next summer we became like, brain-sharing people and we would (and still do) tell each other every single random story of our lives. Like, I know about the time that her friend let another friend's dog eat a raisinette and the second friend flipped out. And she knows how I actually want to marry Wyatt the rising fourth grader because he has always had a crush on me. And that I have an itunes playlist called "a certain genre"

Daphna: I'm going to play songs in taiwanese if you don't stop it!

So anyway, I can say something that would make sense in my head, and this girl gets it, because everything in my head has been in her head too.

Which sounds really creepy but it's also awesome.

Anyone who's had a conversation with me knows that a lot of things "make sense in my head".

So this is convenient.

Anyway, that's the best way I can think of to describe/understand the way Daphna and I communicate. It's mad complicated and probably involves dark magic.

We saw Harry Potter today... Forgive my magic-oriented brain.

Also, today I burned my arm on an oven, and tomorrow I have to go to german. And I like non-sequiturs.

Love always,
Clara

Eating a lot

The food-places we frequented today:

• Le Madeline
• Greenberry's
• Super Random Vietnamese Place (yes, that was the name)
• IceBerry
• Benihanas
• Hagen-daaz

So yeah.

Awesome.

Daphna is saying words that don't make sense to my ears.

Me: What was that that I had said earlier that you responded to with like, "I like trees" or something? I was like, repeating a word over and over

Daphna: California? Tofu? Trees?

Me: Like a verb, like an ambiguous verb!

We're such nutjobs

Love always,
Clara

Return of the Daphna

Not that she's like, a Jedi or anything. At least, I don't think.

Me: Daphna, are you a jedi?

Daphna: No I'm not! Who asked?

There is something good going on in the world at this moment.

Um let me recap what an insane day it has been

• Go to german for two hours
• Drive to pick up Daphna
• Go shopping in Georgetown
• Eat extended late lunch
• Go home
• Decide to go out and chill with phil
• Go to coffee- run into Lily and Claire and Harris and say hello
• Go to tysons, intend to see a movie, change our minds, wander around, et cetera
• Go back to Phil's house and hang out, make s'mores
• Get home at midnight

So I'm mad tired.

But today has been fun.

Love always,
Clara

Novel outlining begins!

I've been entertaining myself today with NaNoWriMo plans.

(For those abbreviationally unaware, that means I'm scheming for my novel next november)

And it's very exciting.

The first thing I have to do, always, is figure out the characters. And the first thing I have to figure out about the characters is their names. Because, really, outlining is no good when you're describing someone as FMC2 (Female Main Character).

And names are hard.

I'm one of those people who has to make the names of the characters not only match their personalities, but also their role in the story somehow. For example, the narrator of the novel I'm planning's name is Cassie, short for Cassandra, named after the daughter of Priam. She was blessed with prophecy, but cursed in that no one would believe her. Apollo's fault. That Apollo.

Anyway, this Cassie has trouble getting believed as well. Also, Cassandra is greek for "entangler of men" according to wikipedia, and Cassie is something of a charmer.

Michaela, the other main character's name, means "Who is like God?" according to some baby name website. It's relevant for reasons I haven't figured out yet, but I know that she's the cause of a good deal of action and drama and intrigue, and there is definitely a mystery surrounding her. Both of her "parents'" names mean "protector", so that says something too.

The funny thing is that I don't expect anyone to go around looking up the etymologies of my characters' names. And I'm not going to explicitly address it, because it seems cliche and unnecessary, and brings up some plausibility issues (how did Cassie's parents KNOW she was going to have that problem?). Not that plausibility is often an issue in my novels, which have involved chess games with death, ancient cows, and otherworldly gas stations.

And of course it's got comedy and romance, because it's me. That is what keeps me enjoying it.

In other news, Daphna is coming down for the weekend, so expect the blog posts to be a little shorter, less frequent, and less coherent. But in return, you'll likely get some pretty great Real Conversations.

And in other other news, Dad's hearing was today. It was kind of a lovefest, not gonna lie. The Senate puts these things up on youtube, so I'll link to it when that happens. Not that you want to watch- the only really interesting part (to those not particularly involved with bank secrecy and/or NATO) is when my dad makes a car business joke. And when John Kerry mentions me. I remain starstruck, although I should be cool and political and jaded by these folks by now.

Love always,
Clara

Another Music Binge (and more boredom)

I have gone and bought a whole bunch of music again.

Well, Owl City's new album came out, so what was I supposed to do?

Never mind that only two of the songs I bought were actually from that album...

Brooklyn Blurs - The Paper Raincoat

Knock You Down - Kanye West and friends

Cave In - Owl City

Fireflies - Owl City

Evaporate - Chris Ayer

Strange Love Hate - The Red West

Good To Be Here - The Animators

Talk You Down - The Script

I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight - U2

Suddenly Everything Has Changed - The Postal Service

Buzzin' - Shwayze

Breakable - Ingrid Michaelson

Maybe - Ingrid Michaelson

Come Home - OneRepublic & Sara Bareilles (Those three were David's recommendations and I'm such a fan)

1980 - Rehab (and that was Phil's suggestion. I'm liking it)

It has just occurred to me that every single summer is unique.

Like, I was having a semi-self-pitying "oh this is my last high school summer in America blah blah blah" moment and then it occurred to me that every summer is the last something.

I can basically sum up each summer by "The summer everything went wrong" or "The summer I got some confidence" or "The summer I became self-sufficient." They're all different, is what I'm getting at here, and they all have some theme.

And no, I'm not telling you which was which :)

Love always,
Clara

How I am entertaining myself today

Wikipedia is at it again.

If talking to Daphna about hair physics and crazy cults and knacks for picking out harmonic fourths doesn't keep me occupied all evening, I've got backup.

Speaking of all of this, I have no plans until friday... hint hint... anyone...

REALLY. I AM SO BORED.

Real conversation just now

(Context- I just IMed Indraneel because he insulted my international significance. He was not responding. I'm also IMing Daphna)

Me: Still no response

Me: I think he's dead

Daphna: Or busy

Me: No

Me: Dead

Daphna: Hahaha

Daphna: wait

Daphna: legit?

Me: yes

Daphna: oh no!

Love always,
Clara

P.S. I am tagging this under "i am a dork". I clicked the tag and thought, "Oh, so much so"

I've been GOOGLED!

HEY HEY LOOK AT THIS!

Second one down when you type in "love always c"

I am more googled than "Love always charlie" and "Love always clothing"

I feel so famous.

Sorry, I'm in more of a twittering mood right now than a bloggy one. But I decided to be a narcissist and google myself, and this is what came of it.

I'm also in an overblown absurdity mood. Like, the sister saw this door today that said on it "THIS DOOR IS ALWAYS ALARMED"

She said no one else in her class thought it was funny. I thought it was funny.

Like, and alarmed door!

Like "Oh, I'm a door, and I am shocked by what you're doing in here!"

Isn't that funny?

Also, Daphna is worried about what I might say about her, although she requested a mention. Let me say that Daphna is not good at not telling things to people who probably would have preferred to recover from swine flu before hearing said things.

Love always,
Clara

Annoyance is gone

Things that make my annoyed feeling vanish

• Cute Animals

Love always,
Clara

Annoyances

Things that irritate me right now

• We're out of milk
• CVS doesn't have milk
• I walked to CVS for nothing
• Hair glaze is too subtle
• Life is too short to worry about hair glaze
• I have far too many books
• The older books are dusty
• Dust
• My bookshelf is only one of many possibly-dusty things I will have to go through before the end of the month, when we ship our more important belongings to the land of fondue.
• Katie and Eleni are having so much fun in Providence. I want to visit them.

Love always,
Clara

Thoughts on advertising

I'm being a total loser, and at this point, enjoying it.

Earlier today I was frustrated with my lack of anything to do.

Now I'm watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on abc family.

And thoroughly enjoying it.

I've been going through a Harry Potter *moment* lately anyways. Probably because the movie is coming out soon. I've been wanting to re-read the last one.

I read it when it first came out (in approximately 24 hours, by the way) but feel like refreshing my memory.

Oh dear, I'm sounding like a huge dork.

FACT.

Also, some thoughts on advertisements:

• Orkin has an ad that suggests that cockroaches, failing to crawl into your home, will grow to human size and try to sell you pizza. Or the head of marketing is Gregor Samsa's father.
• I'm really annoyed that they're making a show of 10 things I hate about you. First of all, the movie came out like, ten years ago or something. Second of all, the movie was based on SHAKESPEARE. You can't write an add-on to Shakespeare. It's like saying, "Oh and here's what also happened in The Taming of the Shrew that the bard didn't mention"
• So there's this lady chameleon putting mood-scents in for family movie night. Something about that just strikes me as really creepy. Thanks, AirWick
• I like how much makeup marketing relies on semiscientific claims. It seems to be one of the only areas where science and cosmetics merge.
• If you eat skittles from your friend's skittle-filled houglass, it speeds up time. Proving once and for all that Skittles have magical properties.
• Dairy Queen now has a Girl-Scout-Cookie-Blizzard. Not half as charming as the real thing.
• College dorm rooms always look absurdly nice in commercials. It's such a joke.
• This wart-freeze ad just made me afraid to ever give another high five ever again.
• In San Francisco, there's this ad on the wall in the BART station from comcast. It says, "CHECK OUT OUR PACKAGE. You know you want to"
• Alexa Vega of Spy Kids fame is now in "Ruby and the Rockits," a show which I suddenly want to see, simply because I loved her in Spy Kids. She was so cool.
• A State Farm ad wants you to know that however you're surprised, by bumping into someone or having a baby, they're ready. Is the baby really so surprising?
• T Mobile learned that people don't like economists, but they do like hot women. They're a little slow on that one.

Love always,
Clara

Mom and Facebook

Mom: *says something uninformed about facebook*

Me: Mom, really?

Mom: Well how would I know? You won't let me join! I always get emails saying people want to friend me.

Me: Mom no one on facebook wants to friend you

Mom: I meet young people. They think i'm cool.

Me: No they don't.

I'm in a terrible mood today. Probably because I was supposed to be crashing Big Saturday today and instead I took a long nap and went to Target and realized too late that we were out of milk.

Love always,
Clara

NOW 31?

I remember when NOW (that's what i call music) 2 came out.

NOW 8 was a favorite of mine.

Along with NOW 14.

Although those were the pre-iPod days, when I spent bus rides listening to my yellow walkman. 

NOW 31 just came out, and it's got Boom Boom Pow and Poker Face and the usual suspects. It all seems pointless, seeing as in a CD of 20some songs, you're only going to want 10 of them. And unlike a normal CD, you've definitely heard all 20 on the radio.

I'm surprised NOW has lasted this long.

But it's kind of cool that it has.

Love always,
Clara

Swine flu...

Vivian: Swine flu sucks balls.

The fact that I know someone with swine flu is kind of exciting though.

Although apparently it sucks. A lot.

Right now I'm trying to figure out what bedding to get for my new room.

Vivian: Sorry, I usually don't complain this much.

Me: YOU HAVE SWINE FLU. I think you have the right.

Love always,
Clara

In my epic nap...

I had a couple dreams.

In one, there was this strange other woman in my family, like, with my dad. And I liked her well enough, but I was dismayed that he liked her more than he liked my mom. She was pretty though.

And then I was at someone's house and Jenna was there? And it was a pool party?

There were more details to these but as dreams go, I can't remember them.

Love always,
Clara

Debate camp sounds cool?

Me on the phone to David right now-

David: My friend's sister was at that camp?

Me: No way, really? What's her name? This camp is kind of like a cult, and I was like, an elder of this cult last year so... I might know her, is what I'm getting at.... 

That sounded creepy

But apparently at David's debate camp they come up with elaborate schemes to undress him.

I took an epic nap today.

It was like, three hours.

Totally awesome.

(Just now)

Me: What is it with you people and eggs?

Love always,
Clara

"What? You don't like glitter?"

Real conversation from the long drive home yesterday-

Grace: What happened to your nails??

Me: I painted them. With glitter!

I did.

Also, and you didn't hear this from me, I have heard that the flu outbreak at nerd camp was not the usual flu.

It was... a sort of flu that is known to be more contagious among teenagers... if you know what I mean.

Hm... That would make sense, seeing as 40-50 kids were infected in like, a week.

I'm curious as to whether that's a secret. It might be.

Love always,
Clara

Impromptu Road Trip?

I had always fantasized that one day, once I had my license, I would drive up to Carlisle, PA, and absorb the wonderful Dickinson air and CTY memories.

Well Carlisle session 1 shut down early.

So I got to take that road trip... picking up my sister.

It was a nice drive, actually. Long, yes, but no traffic, a good mix CD that I just made, and nice weather.

Anyways, I can't think of anything to match the tragedy of what has happened to the nevermores of 09. There's an emergency passionfruit tomorrow.

In the name of nostalgia, and because I've been wanting to digitally document it anyways, I'm posting my passionfruit from last year. There are only a few people who will appreciate this, or even know what I'm talking about, but I think it's worthwhile anyway.

[Note to non-camp people: Best move along. Nothing to see here.]

CLARA'S [UNABRIDGED] PASSION FRUIT LIST

• To Amanda Ball from biking camp, who told me CTY was fun
• To Cogpsych, Dave and Angela, Anya, Boris, Benjamin Rush, and eating macaroni with a sharpie
• To that hall, quad 1, some of the most amazing people I've ever met
• To McDreamy, the first of many McNicknames
• To "yo tengo una fiesta in mis pantalones con muchas vacas y betty"
• To handouts
• To your sexy tractor
• To spending a whole year talking way too much about camp
• To Existentialism B!
• To Maureen and Nick, Banana phone, and interrupting Nietzche
• To Uberquad
• To Hey Juliet
• To saturday morning backstreet boys parties
• To Police and the Private
• To my very first energy drink
• To John Dilinger, who shoots up banks
• To Abby
• To my uglydoll with penis ears
• To "this I know for sure"
• To when guys forget, and then they remember
• To smack-a-hoe
• To my friends asking, "wait, at nerd camp you have a friend named jesus?"
• To the fact that you can call her Jesus, but you cannot call her the messiah
• To convincing my sister to come too
• To "you should date my brother!"
• To Creative Writing
• To Sarah E and my ridiculous/amazing hall
• To Val- those rat bastards!
• To Jonathan and "DO IT TO ME, BABY!"
• To Harvey and always being last to leave for breakfast (Daphna....)
• To her pants
• To the action the wall got last night
• To raping gay babies
• To cannibalistic potatoes having existential crises
• To Slide
• To Starcrash
• To a document entitled, "If I licked tofu..."
• To "Legit" and other abbrives
• To "this is true"
• To getting distracted on the way to the bank
• To naked romps that lead to jail*
• To protection?
• To double klining
• To 7, Police, the square root of three, Donut, Tuna, Tofu, Mikaphee, flower-bird, middle name alliteration, counterparts, Z, weather god, the thing with the thing, and many more
• To the Clara-Daphna dictionary
• To drag day and always-sexy Alex
• To needing to spoon
• To a volcano coming!
• To Holga
• To multiples of five. Psh. Overrated
• To getting my license AT CTY
• To the weather gods giving it to me hard
• To rain
• To idiot whore children... or not
• To Betty, my best friend
• To "No, I want sex!"
• To my ringback tone (that everyone hates)
• To hugs and high fives... or not
• To California
• To "Nice Shoes"
• To drawing a tree
• To throwing the baby
• To tears on the last page, dead little girls, creepy stalkers, murderers, and one workaholic truck driver
• To the purple flying hippo and laser bear
• To being clumsy, falling off a wall, and NOT walking into a door last night
• To Anita Tuvin Schlecter
• To rinas
• To the best roommates I could ask for, Rachel, Hillary, and Petra
• To the HUB
• To potatoes
• To my melons
• To dances, and wishing they didn't end
• To not crying
• To everyone, everyone i've ever met here. You are amazing. CTY people are way better than normal people (sorry 'normal people' reading this. It's kind of true)
• To the whole bunch of us, you know who you are
• To this place making me who I am
• To the bricks on the way to the HUB and the intense love I feel for them
• To everything, to ending, to nothing
• To being forever young
• I love CTY, and I love the Passionfruit

*This photo explains-

So that was obnoxiously long, which is why I didn't say all of it at the last passionfruit last year. But understand, I'm trying to summarize the best nine weeks of the last three years of my only 17 year life, in a page and a half. It's hard to do.

And sorry it didn't make any sense, non-camp-people. 

Love always,
Clara

A little ADD...

Most awesome headline ever.

Gawker is so clever sometimes.

On an unrelated note, Michael Phelps is really attractive, and it took me this long to notice. I guess I'm just not into guys wearing goggles, which is the condition he's usually in when I see him (i.e. watching the olympics last summer)

Speaking of the Olympics last summer, that was fun. I was in Nantucket, a wonderful place, and we would loiter, that's what we would do, and we would stay up too late and watch people swim and generally be relaxed and my god, it was great.

Also, the one year anniversary of this blog is August 3. If you wanted to like, make a cake or something.

Actually, I'm going to do that. Or perhaps blog-brownies.

And then I'll ice the giant brownie to look like the blog.

Oh my god it will be so cool.

I hereby clear my schedule for August 3rd and dedicate that day to the alliterative blog-birthday-brownie-baking.

Love always,
Clara

Perks of being a Pescetarian

I went to the doctor today.

And I made my nurse's day.

We were talking about how there are things I can't eat (by orders of this same doctor) and just in general discussing my food habits.

Me: Oh and I'm a vegetarian.

Nurse: *writes that down*

Me: But I eat fish

Nurse: ...oh there's a word for that...

Me: Pescetarian. 

Nurse: YEAH! Whoa, you're one of THOSE? I learned that word in nutrition class! I never thought I'd meet someone to whom I could use that word! WHOA!

I'm a vegetarian like I'm from DC. As long as I'm not talking to a real vegetarian or DC-resident I get by. I'm close enough that it counts, and usually not worth explaining. Easier to say "I'm from DC or thereabouts" than "I'm from Northern Virginia", and easier to say "I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish" than "I'm a pescetarian...*awkwardpause*... a vegetarian who eats fish"

Love always,
Clara

This is my theory

In the summer I get bored. Not too bored, not unpleasingly bored, but bored enough. Idle, as they say. And when I am bored in this way, I spend a good amount of time on my computer.

Also, in the summer, I hang out with friends. This is good. Also, since we are teenagers and I think it's hardwired into our brains, we spend a lot of time listening to music. Or perhaps music follows us wherever we go, seeing as we are magical and all.

The point of this ramble is, the combination of increased exposure to music and increased time to explore often leads to dramatically increased iTunes spending.

My little music binges are more frequent and more epic during the summertime.

Most recently-

Armistice - Phoenix (Margo I blame you for this one. It's awesome)

The Drive - The Animators

Bang Bang - Dispatch

If I Had Eyes - Jack Johnson

Fuzzy Blue Lights - Owl City

Hot Air Balloon - Owl City

Coast of Carolina - Telekinesis

Technicolor Health - Harlem Shakes

Better Things - Passion Pit

Welcome to the World - Kevin Rudolf etc.

Think About It - Flight of the Conchords (This one is the fault of Nicole and Chris. I have been converted)

Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship

Orange Sky - Alexi Murdoch

An eclectic mix, to say the least.

Love always,
Clara

My File

It turns out I'm not the first in my family to feel the need to document everything.

My dad is organizing his various papers before we move. I had the privilege today of looking through the 'CLARA FILE'.

It's gorgeous.

Some highlights:

• A comment from Ms. Yi, my third grade teacher, that I "think fast, write slow"
  
• A sheet of paper that only says "CLARA" on it, landscape style, in letters not big enough to make it look not-awkward.
• My fifth grade class photo, in which I look like Napoleon Dynamite. That's the best way to describe it.
• A note, dated in my father's hand (I feel like Hamlet) 2005, that reads "Clara went to go live somewhere else because she hates all of you." It is on a torn sheet of blue lined paper and written in pencil. I believe that was the night I tried to sleep in the closet. I never had the balls to actually run away.
• A short piece my dad wrote himself describing my RBI in an 8th grade softball game, May 3, 2005. Interestingly, this was also the day Tristan asked me out (WHOA BLAST FROM THE PAST) over IM. I only remember this because my dad came upstairs to talk about softball and I was completely distracted.
• 8 copies of my 7th grade SAT scores.
• A tuition record of Presbyterian Meeting House Preschool. No joke.

So clearly this was entertaining to read through.

Real conversation I just heard downstairs-

Dad: (about switzerland) Clara can't drive there, because the age is 18, but she can drink. You can drink at 14, buy at 16, hard liquor at 18

Linda: Is the water that bad over there?

If that were the reason behind the drinking laws in Switzerland I would laugh pretty hard. I can just see the lawmakers saying "Hm, our water supply is questionable. We should probably just let the kids drink beer instead."

Love always,
Clara

Common Sense- Use it

Especially around trains.

This was an ad on facebook. Can I just say, this makes me nervous for all of us? We now need websites to say "don't be a dumbass".

Really?

Love always,
Clara

One last thing

I'm about to go to bed. Or try. This is legit the first time in about a week that i've been anything similar to tired before midnight, so I'm taking advantage of it.

But there's a quote without context from tonight that begs to be blogged.

Tristan: John, my pants are over here. Whenever you're ready.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. Oh, if you must have context. Tristan was on the couch and John kind of jumped on him from behind, causing him to spill his coke. John proceeded to wipe the couch off, but Tristan was upset because his shorts got wet too. Thus.

The concert the other night

it was fun. We went to Chipotle afterwards

Real conversations from the picnic-

Cath: My inner voice's name is Bob.

Me: I have a lot of inner voices...

Cath: Oh yeah, I was reading about schizophrenia the other say... if they tell you to kill someone, get that checked out

Nick: You guys get me because you're into weird stuff and you're like children.

Love always,
Clara

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

What a lovely holiday.

I like fireworks and america. I also like the opportunity to play dress up that every holiday seems to bring. Right now I'm wearing white jeans, a blue obama t-shirt, and my red and pink heart necklaces from valentine's day. They were from CVS. I might go to CVS later today, because I have to pick up my Holgas in about an hour, and I might find myself buying more patriotic costumery there.

Last night a bunch of us went and hung out at this playground in mclean and watched the neighbors set off fireworks. It was cool.

More picnics like that need to happen.

Tonight I'm going into McLean again to watch more fireworks. It's going to be awesome. I kind of have to relish these things now, because I know that for the next few years, my Independence Day celebrations will be more official affairs. Although I'm hoping they'll still let me play dress up in Switzerland.

This fourth of july is pretty cool too, because it's the first one in a while where I like the president. I suppose I've liked America for the past nine years, but it's hard to get enthusiastic when you're not a fan of G. Dubs.

America is pretty great though.

Weird thought- Once I move and get swiss friends (NOTE TO SWISS PEOPLE- BE FRIENDS WITH ME!) maybe they'll read this and it will seem foreign to them, seeing as they are not american. 

I don't know what to make of that.

I don't know what to make of a lot of things lately. Not helping the insomnia (which is still going strong, by the way). If the blogging seems sparse, it's because I don't know what to make of anything. I blog when I think I know what's going on. I am, right now, as they say, uncertain about a lot of things, mostly having to do with moving.

My god. I'm so cliche. Sorry, ignore me.

Love always,
Clara

I should have done this a long time ago

So after two weeks of hearing a lot of Flight of the Conchords songs from Nicole and Chris, I'm finally looking them up on youtube.

Bret's Angry Dance is the best way to deal with anger I have ever seen. Next time I'm angry, expect dancing. And I need someone to be my random saxophone guy in the back.

Volunteers?

Love always,
Clara

Message for Daphna!

So, here's a follow up to the ice cream story.

Love always,
Clara

Coincidence?

So. textsfromlastnight. This one isn't me. I'm surprised that it isn't, though, since this is definitely a thing I say a lot and both speakers are from my area code:

(703): i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
(1-703): yes
(703): ... don't judge me

Love always,
Clara

P.S. This thought didn't deserve its own post, but it deserved to be blogged:

I just put on shoes. And when I put them on, I thought "Wow, one of my first blog posts was about buying these shoes!"

Just something to think about.

If you were going to be contemplating my shoes/blogging habits.

Driving in the City

Why is it that I always fail somehow when I'm meeting someone at Dupont Circle?

I rolled out of bed this morning at noon. And immediately realized it was too late to take the metro into DC, since things have been slower since the Red Line crash, and I would have to walk to the metro station because no one was there to give me a ride and... yeah. So I had to drive.

I love my little Garmin navigator, I really do, but sometimes he is an idiot.

Or maybe the idiot is me. You can never tell.

But anyways, Garmin is terrible at giving directions around circles (or I'm terrible at driving around circles) and DC is full of them.

I ended up parking a million years away because I thought I was in the right place.

Yikes.

Lunch was yummy though. I've decided, in terms of what I can and cannot eat, that noodles don't count if they're asian. So I had Pad Thai.

Also, if you were as curious as I was regarding whether my insomnia was legitimate, it is! There are three classifications of insomnia- transient, acute, and chronic. 

Mine's transient. Lasts from days to weeks and is caused by changes to the sleep environment (check) and stress (check).

Thank you, wikipedia

It's curious (and annoying) that I'm stressed out now. I mean, it's July. I spent the past ten months trying to keep my head on straight, since most everyone else was busy being eaten by stress. 

And now it's summer and they're free and I'm stressed.

Not. Fair.

At least my stress is legit. I mean, moving across the ocean is legit, right?

Love always,
Clara

My life, in comic form

I wish I could put it as well as the brilliant xkcd people do.

This is legit the way I feel at 62% of the social gatherings I go to. That number is higher in social gatherings that are either

1. All girls, or
2. More than five people

Again with the introversion. Sorry.

Also, it's midnight and while I'm not sleepy at all, I'm definitely hungry.

Hm.

Conundrum. 

I wonder how long you have to be awake not-on-purpose for it to be considered insomnia?

Love always,
Clara