i take it back

Daphna

sounds good
enjoy your screening which is hopefully not some other korean porn/death/incest thing
clara
we're watching 'what not to wear'
and 'made'
Daphna
HAHAH
well TLC is definitely not korean incest.
i mean..i hope not..
havent watched it in a while
but im fairly confident

I take it all back. Everything negative I ever said about my MCM class is hereby retracted. We just watched three hours of trashy reality tv.

The days feel so long here. I literally don't remember this morning. Having lunch feels like days ago. I never have any idea what day of the week it is (unless, of course, it's friday).

It's a problem.

I have so much to do too. A philosophy paper, a linguistics project, an MCM paper, and one more Econ problem set. And three finals. Of course.

Yikes.

I can't believe the first semester has gone so quickly. December starts tomorrow (rabbit rabbit rabbit) and I'll be home in eighteen days.

Ridiculous.

Love always,

Clara

people LIKE kissing?!

Me: Wait, a sex machine?

Nicole: Yeah. Look.

Me: Oh wow! That will actually penetrate you!

Scott: That passes the Turing Test to me!

The Jameson kids got ahold of Stefan's facebook password. I died.

Now I'm working on linguistics, and dying for completely different reasons.

(Negative polarity what? Upward-entailing shitshow?)

John: So when I was working with [redacted1], we were working in [redacted2]'s room, and they both had hickeys.

Me: Shit, you mean couples kiss? Genevieve, did you know about this?

John: Shh! So, then, if I didn't know her, I would have thought she was high or something. She was weirdly giddy.

Me: You mean people LIKE kissing?

First day back in the swing of things. Basically two weeks until finals, seeing as no one seems to be interested in participating in this "reading period" phenomenon. Fine by me.

Waking up was hell this morning though.

Love always,

Clara

so it looks like i'm addicted to free labor

The blogging hiatus lasted a little while, at least. I just don't know how to quit you.

I'm having a music moment this afternoon. It's phenomenal, if I do say so myself.

Say It's Empathy (Crystal Castles + Rihanna + Lupe Fiasco + Terra Naomi) - Mochi Beats

Radar Detector - Darwin Deez

Weighty Ghost - Wintersleep

Sundress - Ben Kweller

First Impressions - Julia Nunes

Balloons - Julia Nunes

Guns and Horses - Ellie Goulding

Go Outside - Cults

Animal (Miike Snow cover) - Javier Dunn

Your Song - Ellie Goulding

I recommend all of these.

I coffee'd with Sam and Eleni this afternoon and we talked about our life plans.

Me: I just can't see myself doing anything practical, ever.

Sam: I'm going to marry well.

Me: No, Sam, you're supposed to be the person that other people marry well.

Sam: Eh. I'm very well bred.

Sam is tired of people being smitten with his cousins. I have a bad habit of becoming smitten with relatives of my friends. But my friends have been smitten with my relatives as well, so I think it's fair. In any case, I can't help that I have unmistakably attractive cousins. And Sam can't help that either. We'll all just have to cope.

I developed a new verbal tic last night. I now say "LOL" at everything in a semi-ironic-except-not-really-i-just-tell-myself-that kind of way. It's a problem.

As Alston would say, "error."

Love always,

Clara

x rated

Hey guys.

I'm not supposed to be participating in free labor over the long weekend, hence the lack of blogging.

Have to share a few thanksgiving real conversations though.

Dave: Kathy, who won the Redskins game last week?

Kathy: ... the Redskins.

Dave: And who's going to win next week?

Kathy: ... not you!

Weetie: Clara, tell us your most embarrassing college story.

Jordy: What about your best x-rated story?

Carly: Grampy's here!

Buck: I'll cover one ear.

I opted out anyways. Not sure my x-rated stories are very interesting. The funniest ones are probably on the risque end of PG-13 anyway.

Now I'm staying with the Gee fam, because they are wonderful.

Tonight will be one for the history books, I feel.

Love always,

Clara

macaroons and julia nunes

I've been at school all day but I feel like break started last night.

I had one class this morning and no work that needed to be done immediately, so it's been a super chill day.

I finally got the baked goods that my parents tried to send probably years ago. However, it seems Brown University Mail Services has misplaced the box containing macaroons.

They said they're going to look for them.

(Holy shit that was a lot of pronouns.)

The macaroons will be mine.

I'm going to a Ben Kweller / Julia Nunes concert tonight. I've blogged about Julia Nunes before. She's a singer who plays guitar and ukelele and got her start on youtube. I'm so excited to see her it's not even funny.

I'll take lots of pictures.

Okay. This was going to be longer but I'm running late. John is standing behind me.

Love always,

Clara

just a thought

The other day I was complaining about how all these college kids are being silly with their boy-girl interactions, when I went through that phase in spring of junior year.

I was thinking about that just now. What was happening during spring of junior year?

I was about to move to Switzerland. I was leaving home. I was freaking the fuck out, to be perfectly honest. That was the birth of "mentally unstable clara." I was a mess, just in general.

So then I thought, how many of these kids have had comprable experiences? For what percentage of them is going away to college the first such experience?

Probably a big one.

I see a correlation.

I should give these kids a break, I've decided. They're stressed the fuck out. We all are, and that's okay.

Although I wish they'd find a different way to deal with it.

Love always,

Clara

nice people

Some people are just so nice.

Check out this quote without context.

[redacted]

Well Clara, I hope you had a positively scintillating Sunday. It was lovely seeing you again! We must see each other soon.

First of all, who says "scintillating"? I love that word. I want to start using it more often.

Also on the topic of nice people, Billy started singing Coldplay in the Ratty today and I literally almost died. The girl at the table over gave him this epic "wtf" look and I was very close to cardiac arrest.

John: [redacted] is here.

Me: How dare he eat dinner at the same time that you do? You own this Ratty!

John: I know! This is my refectory!

Love always,

Clara

welcome, boys and girls, to college

A few months before I left for college, my dad presented me with a speech about "boy-girl interactions."

Much like the boy-girl parties of intermediate school, "boy-girl interactions" can be stressful and great and sometimes you think it might be best to hide in the bathroom with the girls who are hiding from their dates, and listen. After five minutes of that I tend to realize that I don't really like girls that much. Specific girls, sure, but girls on the whole, no thank you.

Anyway. Boy-girl interactions. The way I had understood them to this point (who am I kidding. I never understand this shit) had been something like this: people can hook up (which means kissing, Mom, and I know you're reading this on the edge of your seat. Make yourself a libertini or something and chill. I'm not getting pregnant and I'm not dropping acid either) and it can be nothing and everyone can move on with their lives. Or people can hook up and there can be emotional implications due to the behavior of one or more parties, and in that case the hook up can turn into a "thing," and a "thing" can turn into a relationship maybe.

It seems that I have been mistaken. Apparently, as numerous people have told me lately, "we're in college" and that means something.

I'm not sure what it means exactly. Does it mean that when people hook up and there are emotional implications, the best subsequent choice is to do nothing?

As it turns out, maybe that's the way people do things "in college." Everyone's in the let's-hook-up-with-as-many-people-as-possible-in-one-semester phase. The thing about that is that I had that phase in like, junior year. That phase is done. That phase came and went and wasn't all that interesting anyway.

I mean, why not just hook up with one person consistently, and also ask about their day? Is it the variety that everyone's after? Is there an inherent value in variety that I'm failing to grasp?

I don't know. We're in college. Whatever that means.

Love always,

Clara

speaking american

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

I'm mad jeal of all of yall going to the Deathly Hallows premier tonight.

Can I just say though that one of these people goes to my school?

Um, Boo-yah.

Love always,

Clara

*I know a decent number of you guys won't watch the video because, let's face it, videos take time and a minute and a half of commitment. I want you guys to know that I don't actually say "boo-yah." It's a reference to the video.

I just needed to clear that up.

donnerstag

(I took this)

I worked out yesterday for the first time in too long. Pish posh, I've been sick, don't judge me Dad.

Now I'm off to find a dress to wear to the newspaper banquet. And maybe the fall ball on saturday. I'm not sure whether people are actually going to that. I never know where I'm going to end up, actually.

There's also a masquerade situation. I wouldn't be in love with the idea, except that episode of Gossip Girl has given me high hopes for that kind of thing.

Anyway, it's slightly too early to be making weekend plans anyway. For god's sake, it's thursday.

Love always,

Clara

stimulating

Robert
well i reckon next year i will engross myself fully in studies
this year is fun and games

Clara
hahahaha
Robert
next i will go nuts
Clara
"engross myself fully in studies" LOL AS IF THIS SCHOOL WERE INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING
Robert
i will stimulate myself
Clara
hahahahahahahahaha

Clearly I'm actually a 12 year old boy. For the record.

Love always,

Clara

like yoda, i am?

Aw, I'm flattered, twitter.

Love always,

Clara

the day gossip girl made the wrong point about feminism

I'm shocked about it, really.

If you haven't seen this week's episode, probably don't read this, but I'll try to avoid any major plot points anyway.

Blair is trying to get into some kind of position of power. This is nothing new. The particular position of power in question this week is the "face" of Girls Inc., a position held by Nate's cousin or aunt or secret mormon wife or something at the moment. She's getting old (like, maybe 30 ish but who can even tell on this show?) so she approaches Blair and is like "I want you to be the face of my company because you dated someone with my last name and you go to an Ivy League school and you're Blair." And Blair is like, "Super." And the woman is like "But wait. There's more. We're concerned about your personal relationships. You need to be an empowered woman."

So Blair explains emphatically that she and Chuck are nothing and that there is nothing to worry about and she is SO empowered.

Then some other things happen and it becomes clear to the Girls Inc. woman that Chuck and Blair are, in fact, not nothing. So she goes up to Blair and is like "We don't want you anymore!" and Blair is like "That's not fair! An empowered woman should be able to do whatever she damn pleases!" and the bitchy woman says "That's life."

So Blair got it right, except then she goes up to Chuck and says "Bitch woman is right. I need to be empowered before I can be with you. I want to be the secretary of state, not first lady. Clearly I can accomplish nothing if you're in the picture. See ya later."

Which is just wrong. Come on, Blair! Seriously?

She's buying into this whole bullshit notion that one must be hostile to men to be competent. It's this rampant either/or-ism that is so popular among older feminists and so frequently called out as nonsense by the younger of us. One must be feminine or a feminist, apparently. No middle ground.

Nonsense.

It reminds me, actually, of this article that I was reading yesterday. A professor of civil liberties and feminist history was mad that a student was dressing in a way that displayed her "assets." She immediately made the assumption that the girl in question didn't think she had anything else to offer. Can we all acknowledge for a second what a ridiculous leap that is?

One can be with Chuck Bass and be an "empowered woman." One can dress scantily and also be intelligent and capable.

Any "feminist" who says otherwise is completely missing the point.

As is Gossip Girl.

Love always,

Clara

kids these days, man

This just transpired on facebook. It's really bothering me.

I don't want to go around trashing random kids who are years younger than me. But can we talk for a second about their attitude? Not as a personal attack but as a gateway to a discussion about something more emblematic of society?

Who the fuck is proud of misspelling the word "Sweden"?

I mean, it kind of bothers me that they jump on my sister for her request for political correctness. The word in question bothers me too, but I've come to terms with the fact that some people feel like it's their right to use it. That's fair. I get that.

But all these acronyms bother me (What is LLS? I just want to know!). And the exclamation points. For the sake of context, let me point out that these kids are indeed educated. They definitely DO know how to spell "Sweden."

And then why talk back to me like that? I'm supposed to be the older sister that these kids want to impress.

They are just too cool for me and my knowledge-of-countries I guess.

Ugh. The whole culture of "Look how ignorant and obnoxious I can be on the internet, regardless of whether it's a reflection of my actual behavior" really pisses me off, in whatever context.

John: I hate it when people post stauses like, "The more a flame is covered up, the hotter it burns." A) WHAT? and B) Stop infiltrating my news feed with your ridiculousness. The more a flame is covered up, the faster it goes out, you idiot! Do you understand oxygen?!

Love always,

Clara

EDITED TO ADD: Apparently "LLS" means "Laughing like shit." The more you know.

John: Because excrement laughs.

meta-dreams

I have been sleeping way more than is acceptable today.

This morning, I was having a dream in which I was sick. In my dream logic, I didn't have to go to class, because I was sick. So I turned off my alarm. Because I was sick.

Except... I'm not sick.

And I missed my first two classes.

I figured I'd make up for it by doing a lot of work in Faunce this afternoon, an idea that immediately went to hell when I turned on facebook chat. Then I had section, and came back to my room.

Where I fell asleep.

I had some really weirdly interesting dreams during this most recent nap. First I dreamt that something on my chair (my phone? A hairbrush?) was my computer. Then I dreamt that in that previous dream, I had typed weird dream-things onto my word document, and that in this dream I was reading them. I seem to recall something along the lines of "Don't become submerged in concrete. That would be a shame," being in there.

Then I dreamt several times about waking up and going to dinner. Every time I realized I was still in my chair, I'd get disoriented all over again.

Now I'm awake.

Really.

I think.

Love always,

Clara

kill marry screw: concert edition

Kill: The director of Amtrak, the engineers behind MBTA, and anyone else responsible for making train travel in this country such a shitshow.

Marry: Sufjan Stevens. I'm in love.

Screw: That guy who was sitting a couple rows behind us, in the denim jacket.

Sufjan Stevens concert last night blew my mind. It was incredible. I had several epiphanies. One of the songs was said to be 23 minutes long, and it wasn't boring. He played new things that I didn't really expect to like, and I liked them. He played old things that were just amazing in general.

Getting there was a mess. The concert was supposed to start at 7:30, so John and I decided to catch the 6:00 commuter rail into Boston, which was supposed to arrive at a little after 7. Then we'd have a little while to take the T to the Orpheum in a leisurely fashion.

The thing about trains, though, is that they never ever run on time in this country.

It's actually ridiculous. Our train didn't leave until 6:30ish, and they didn't give us any indication of when we'd be arriving. They just kept saying, "We'll get moving as soon as we can. Sorry for the delay" in their crackly loudspeaker voices.

It turns out, there was an Amtrak train in front of us which had technical difficulties, so rather than, I don't know, have some kind of backup plan, they just made us sit there until they figured the Amtrak issues out.

Well, excuse me, but I don't think this is acceptable.

People take trains so that they can get places. Usually if there's somewhere I need to be, I need to be there before a particular time. I expect trains to deliver me to that place at or before that time.

It really inspires this indignation in me. It's this "No, we all deserve better than this" feeling. Why haven't there been riots? Why hasn't there been legislation? Why isn't it illegal to make a train more than 15 minutes late without refunds for everyone's tickets?

Why hasn't anyone done anything about this?

I was telling John all of these angry thoughts while we were on said train, and for a second I thought, "Clara, you should be quiet and stop sounding so entitled."

But that's ridiculous! We're all entitled to trains that run on time! That should be the expectation! We are entitled to reasonable expectations!

John: We need someone like Mussolini.

Me: Yeah. But... I don't know. Let's just get someone like Mussolini in charge of Amtrak and nothing else. That would work.

When Daph came to visit her train was absurdly late as well. Like, an hour and a half late. She was almost late to the class she was going to. No refunds were offered. The apologies, I would bet, were halfhearted at best.

That would not fly in Switzerland.

It's ironic, too. Americans have this reputation for being go-go-go all the time. We don't like to sit in restaurants for a long time. We're a little more frenzied than people in other countries. And yet we have this lackadaisical train ethic. It's incongruous with the rest of our lives.

If I had been going to Boston just for the hell of it, I'd have been annoyed but not enraged. But I had places to be, and so did everyone else on that train.

Anyway. Moving on.

The concert was amazing. We didn't get there until almost eight, but it turns out there was an opener (we were pretty sure there wouldn't be one) so we didn't miss anything important. Sufjan made it all very personal; even though we were on the balcony I felt like he was talking to me. The whole thing was more of a mixed-media experience than a concert in itself. There were trippy projections on the walls. There was a fifteen minute montage about the life of a schizophrenic artist-prophet in Alabama (or something). There was dancing.

Sufjan: So this song is about being in love, feeling empty inside, working it out inside, going to therapy, working it out outside, working it out in the world... It's like I'm the patient, and you are my therapists... except I charged you money.

He played Chicago toward the end. It was incredible. There were balloons. I had an epiphany about the state of my life and the sources of my angst and the fact that I should really just listen to more Sufjan Stevens.

Good good good night.

(Besides those fucking trains)

Love always,

Clara

me talk pretty one day?

I saw David Sedaris speak yesterday. He read from his newest book and from his diary. It was awesome.

He signed books afterwards. He said really fantastic things inside.

Mine: I'm so happy you're alive.

John's: Let's drown kittens in buckets of piss and Diet Dr. Pepper.

Hannah's friend: Friend- with friendly friendship, bitch

I kind of want his life. I think I wouldn't be bad at writing humorous memoirs. I like telling stories and forcing people to listen to them and not letting anyone interrupt. They can't interrupt when things are written down.

... Actually, if they can, that's something I'd like to see. I imagine it involves taking a fountain pen to a page and scrawling your own story in the spaces between the lines, intrusively.

Tonight I'm seeing Sufjan Stevens. You cannot comprehend my excitement.

Love always,

Clara

adjacent to the ship

Kid: [asks question]

Professor L: Wow. You've jumped ship here. Well, you've jumped ship to an adjacent ship.

I found this hilarious for some reason.

Speaking of things I found hilarious, last night when I decided I really ought to watch the damn film for MCM, I discovered that it's in spanish. It's hard to find a spanish movie with english subtitles for free online. And the quality of said subtitles is not the greatest.

It's like everything went through Google translator... twice.

Professor C: Why Web 2.0 Suicide? Why this obsession with ending it all? Why do I want to retire in ten years and become a survivalist in British Columbia?

I swear, at the end of this class the professor is going to have a whole lecture saying, essentially, "GOTCHA! This doesn't mean anything!"

Love always,

Clara

the teen angst adventure gang

I was having a supremely angsty day yesterday.

I'm not even sure why. I'd say I think I'm getting sick, but I was literally just sick last week, and I thought I'd recovered, and who knows at this point.

Anyway, I literally went to class, sat in the Ratty for an hour and a half doing a crossword puzzle, and went back to my room. Watched a couple episodes of Skins (Series three. Like whoa), went up to the Mead lounge to study for economics (which meant working through a free response question that ended up on the exam), went back to my room, watched another episode of Skins, and went to dinner.

My plan had been to finish dinner and head to my screening for MCM, but I was halfway to Smitty B before I realized I'd left my keys in the Ratty. So I rushed back, and my keys weren't on the table, and I made an awkward circle of the room looking for my keys and finding, instead, several tables full of people I'd rather not see me in this kind of condition. And then I went to the front table and my keys had been turned in as lost.

At that point I was already late, and I decided, fuck it. I went back to Keeney, but was in more of a sit-in-the-rain-and-talk-on-the-phone mood than a sit-in-my-room-and-watch-the-damn-film-on-my-laptop mood. So I did that for a while.

I don't know what's up with me. I'm just in a generally angsty mood and I'm not sure what brought this on.

Love always,

Clara

death occurs ... on the window seat

John is in a really hyper mood.

John: Oh my god! I haven't been like this since July second!

Me: Really?

John: It's only been worse than this twice! It was terrible! I was basically having a seizure.

John is somewhat misunderstanding the term "seizure"

Genevieve: Seizures are not good. They're not what you mean.

John: I don't know. Sometimes they're not all bad.

Genevieve: So sometimes, when you start seizing, it's a good thing?

I'm not so sure.

Genevieve: So.... So I don't like clothing. In general.

That may be a problem, seeing as it's getting cold as hell up in this piece. There were little patches of snow on the ground this morning, and it was dark by five. Winter is impending.

John: If someone were to walk by.... they would think....

Me: Think what?

John: that death..... occurs.... on the windowseat. Oh, this is bad.

Genevieve: This is getting weird.

That it is.

Love always,

Clara

do you fold your underwear?

John came over to discuss slash elimination theory.

Me: You have impeccable timing. Gossip Girl just ended.

John: I would have been several minutes later, except Lobsang was in the room and there is no way i'm folding my delicates in front of him.

Me: Yeah, I never fold shit in front of Genevieve. That would be just weird.

Genevieve: Yeah.

Me: What kind of delicates do you even have, anyway?

John: .... Undies!

Genevieve: What?

Me: Wait... You fold your underwear?

This just about blew my mind.

So did Gossip Girl. For the record.

So did this weekend. Daph is gone and I'm sad about it, although it's nice to have 90% of my floor space back. It turns out an extra mattress takes up a lot of room.

Funny how that happens.

Love always,

Clara

slutty and weird

Last night, the Jameson kids (i.e. the kids down the hall who live in a building called Jameson, while I live in a building called Poland. Hint: It's actually all one building!) were watching music videos. They started off slutty.

Then they got just a little weird.

Some were weird and slutty.



And then this happened.

The moral of the story: Music videos are strange. And I'm lazy today. This post made a lot more sense in my head.

Love always,

Clara

ducks and bunnies, oh my!

I had multiple foodgasms today.

If you are a person who resides in the Providence area, you need to go to Duck and Bunny on Wickenden. It blew my mind. Literally.

I'm really not sure how that can be taken literally, but I challenge you to try.

I myself ordered a salad with bleu cheese and walnuts and cider vinaigrette. Daph got some crepes, but she didn't like them, so then she ordered french toast which was positively orgasmic. I kept eating her bananas.

Yum.

Then we got cupcakes.

I died.

Love always,

Clara

classes and shit, yo

Freshman preregistration was today.

I've got awkward gaps on tuesdays and thursdays because I've entered the Visual Art lottery, and I don't know what section they're going to assign me. There are some tuesday/thursday classes I'm planning on shopping as well.

But this might be something similar to the final schedule.

Hoorah.

John: He's taking Studio Foundations this semester. He took it purposely to go out of his box.

Me: Yeah, fuck boxes.

Love always,

Clara

holy sheep

So this just blew my mind.

Although, to be fair, a lot of things have been blowing my mind lately. I'm in this weirdly mentally unstable state lately, which I'm blaming on my headcold.

It's cold outside? AAAAHHH! NOOO!

There are vegan nuggets in the Ratty? OH MY GOD YESSSSS BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Something is funny? OH MY GOD I JUST DIED.

There is a person in my path? EEEAAHHHH?

I just can't seem to use my words.

Anyway, my reaction to this video was "AAAAH? WHAAAAT? THAT IS THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD!!!! EVER!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!"

Behold.

Love always,

Clara

10:30 class? woke up at 10:25. super.

There's this kid who lives on my hall. He's tall and I see him in the hallway all the time (usually when I'm in my towel... awk...) and I don't know his name.

I saw him outside the dorm today as I was leaving.

Me: Hey, is it raining?

Kid: Um, kind of.

Me: I'm not going to bring an umbrella. Is that a mistake?

Kid: Maybe.

Me: Well I'm not going to go get one. WHO NEEDS YOU?

This is what happens when I wake up five minutes before class starts, because I got home at 1 the night before, because post was being tricky and I was moving slowly, because I have a cold and can't think straight.

Some people were handing out flyers on my way to class.

Guy: Would you be interested in joining the race against diabetes?

Me: [taking flyer] Oh... yeah... diabetes is cool.... I mean... no it's not.

Guy: No...

Like wow.

Love always,

Clara

i really want a nap but at this point i can stick it out until bedtime

I'm sick. I'm not happy about it.

I bought some Claritin. That may have helped. I feel like this isn't the flu-type of sickness that I had like, a month ago. This is a headcold gone awry. So I need to attack it from a different angle.

Speaking of Angles, midterm elections!

Not going too well for my kids!

Well, that's not true. The only people I can really take responsibility for are Jim Moran (hell yes, Virginia's 11th) because that's my home district, and David Cicilline because I canvassed for him today.

I don't know what part of my illness-addled mind thought that walking around in the cold for three hours would be a good idea.

That said, I felt bad about not voting, so I had to do something.

Anyway, things are looking pretty good for Cicilline and Moran's already been called so I can call it a day.

Thank goodness. I'm exhausted.

Oh, also, I found this link funny. Also, relevant to my life (at least in the first half). (Seriously guys, college. It's such an awkward place.)

You should click on it.

Love always,

Clara

elementary, dear watson

Hannah: John, I could see you emoting from across the room!

John is very expressive.

John: I never really cursed in high school, because all of my friends in high school were people I'd gone to elementary school with, and I'd been a goody-goody in elementary school, so if I cursed people would be like, "Oh, the John White from elementary school wouldn't say that!" and they'd make a big deal. So I avoided it.

Me: I don't think any of us from elementary school would curse.

Hannah: AWW YEAH. I LEARNED TO MULTIPLY SHIT. AND WRITE SOME FUCKING CURSIVE, BITCHES!

This had me in hysterics for probably about five minutes.

Later, John was having some kind of existential crisis with his brownie.

John: I'm going to use my hands. Be a man! Use your hands!

Me: Yeah, fuck utensils.

John: Don't you know that rhyme that everyone did in elementary school?

Me: What?

John: When you're sitting on the john / And the toilet paper's gone / Be a man! [clap clap] Use your hands!

Me: Oh my god. That's disgusting. Ew. What?

John: You've never heard that?

Me: No!

John: Maybe it was a Florida thing. I never said it. Other kids did.

Me: What's manly about having fecal matter on your hands?

Sorry if any of yall are reading this blog post while eating. To be fair though, I was eating dinner during this conversation. So really I'm just giving you the full experience of my side of this conversation.

Love always,

Clara

i want to ride my bicycle

Since the process depends on the community, certain Amish people have adopted more new tech than others. Some approve bicycles, while others find those too technologically advanced, instead permitting only scooters.

(via The Atlantic)

Imagine, for a moment, an Amish person on a scooter.

I laughed out loud.

In other news, I'm in the library trying to focus on Linguistics homework. Clearly it's going really well.

Love always,

Clara

what a weekend

This weekend was insane.

Let's just go through this step by step.

FRIDAY

1:00 - Get out of class.

1:15 - Catch a cab to the airport.

1:40 - Go through security. Get searched, because I'm going to DC and not checking any luggage, which is suspicious. Find it weird, anyway, that they had to pat me down, seeing as the clothing I tend to wear is pretty tight. Where would I be hiding anything?

2:15 - Hang out at the airport bookstore. Move Glenn Beck's books to the children's section. Feel clever, although I certainly hope no children really pick that book up. Yikes.

2:50 - Flight takes off.

4:15 - Land at National. See house. Get unduly excited at the thought of being back in my hometown.

One thing I've noticed about the life itinerant is that perhaps, rather than being more or less homeless, everywhere I go is home. This weekend I went home, and then I went back home, and I'm going home again over thanksgiving, going home, going home over winter break, going home at the end of january, and then going home again sometime in March or April to see my baby niece (!!!!)

4:17 - Get on the Metro. I love not checking baggage. SO worth the awkward pat-down.

5:30 - Meet Vivian in Rockville. Go back to her house. Eat Brazilian food.

6:3o--1:00 - Do weird things. Vivian and I read through our entire Wall-to-Wall looking for quotes without context. I catch Vivian up on the past season and a half of Gossip Girl. Daphna calls. I try to learn how to play the ukelele.

Me: So Serena is like "ohhhh I don't know what to dooo everybody just likes me!" and Juliette is like "*obvious scheming*" and Nate is like "You like me? OK! You're teaching dentistry to midgets? OK!"

1:15 - Go to bed.

SATURDAY

8:30 - Wake up.

9:30 - Go to Vivian's friend's house for breakfast. It turns out, Vivian's friend's dad is a columnist that I used to read all the time (back when I got the Washington Post). Get excited.

10:20 - Get to the Silver Spring Metro stop. Get seats, because it's early and Silver Spring is near the end of the line.

10:25 - Realize that the crowd on this Metro is only a taste of what is certainly to come. Feel like a sardine.

11:30 - Arrive in Metro Center. Try to meet Sam at Caribou Coffee but he is not there. Get caught up in the general enthusiasm of the day, and probably rant about the impossibility of meeting people anywhere else, because there are literally hundreds of thousands of people here.

12:15 - Get to a crowd of people dense enough that it must be considered the Rally.

12:23 - See some cool signs.

12:48 - Get stepped on.

12:57 - Try to hear something. Realize that this is futile.

(lather, rinse, repeat)

Angry Guy: PUT DOWN YOUR SIGN! WE CAN'T SEE! PUT DOWN YOUR SIGN PLEASE!

Me: Yeah, and if everyone could shrink by about a foot, that would be great too!

People around me: *giggles*

1:30 - Reason that while we've had the Rally experience, the rational thing to do would be to locate a TV in a warm food-serving environment from which we could watch the end of the Rally.

1:50 - Get out of the densest part of the crowd. Use our awesome DC-native knowledge to navigate to Union Station.

2:00 - Go to UNO's. Have some deep dish pizza. Have a sassy waiter named Tommy. Tommy inexplicably hates us, because we ordered an appetizer or something.

2:50 - Catch the metro to the airport.

4:15 - Buy a Washington DC shot glass. Buying an Alexandria one is on my to-do list.

4:35 - Get on the bus from the terminal to the actual airplane. Strike up conversation with a family from Indiana who was at the Rally as well. Engage in intelligent political discourse with various bus passengers. Make a friend.

4:59 - Take off for Philadelphia.

5:45 - The kid from the bus runs after me to exchange facebook-friendship. I may have been short with him. I was in a hurry. Regardless, we are now facebook friends.

5:55 - Board flight for Providence.

7:30 - Land.

7:40 - Catch a cab back to campus. I had a very nice cab driver. He was probably around my age, going to college during the day and driving taxis at night. He was from Syria, and wanted to go to med school. I told him to rock on.

8:00 - Get back to school. Change into my Halloween costume. Spend a good amount of time trying to make myself look like Marie Antoinette.

9:45 - Go with Hannah to Jameson. Chill there for a bit. Realize that most people are dressed with a Harry Potter theme. Audrey drew a sick Dark Mark on Scott's arm.

10:20 - The hallway party is dissolving. Jump on the bandwagon going to the Harry Potter party. Decide that for the purposes of this party, I'm a veela. Realize too late that John and Alex are still in the back, taking pictures of themselves and uploading them to facebook.

10:30 - Get to the Harry Potter party. Drink Butterbeer which involves cream soda and is actually delicious. Meet a "Hipster Harry Potter". Meet a girl with whom I'm friends on facebook.

later - Decide to leave. Get my tiara tangled in the fake spiderwebs on the stairs.

Me: Oh my god! I'm a spider web!

Guy: You're a spider web? That's not very sexy.

Me: I know! It's a problem!

later - Go into a chinese restaurant to use the bathroom. Commit some crimes.

later - Hit up the frat scene. Make some friends. Lose Hannah. Find Hannah. Go outdoors.

later - Meet some guys who were either seriously from Yale, or dressed up as guys from Yale. They said their costume was "Ivy League Douches". Yale kids seem cool enough to make fun of themselves that way, but they might have been serious.

later - Meet someone dressed up as "Security" who is trying to mess with people, telling us not to stand in certain places and whatnot. I tell him that I'm Princess Peach and that he does not want to fuck with royalty.

later - I seem to recall talking to someone about the fact that I'm a shiksa? i.e. a non-jewish girl? I'm not sure how anyone got onto this topic.

later - I want food. Hannah and I go to the new cone place. The new cone place serves pizza and other food items in a cone. I get eggplant parmesan ... in a cone. We meet Jackie and her friend, who are dressed as sexy founding fathers.

Jacqueline: we the white male landowners, in order to serve our corporate interests, do delcare:
1. all founding fathers look the same.
2. if it's not slutty, it's not halloween

2:00ish? - Go home. Fall asleep.

SUNDAY

10:30 - Decide that church bells are a tool of the devil, ironically.

11:00 - Actually get out of bed.

1:00 - Go to the library. Actually get shit done for the first time this weekend.

2:30 - Walk to the other side of campus to try to arrange Hakuna Matata.

3:00 - Try to teach said arrangement to other people. Feel ineffective.

4:15 - Go to the Brown Bookstore. Chill there for a while.

5:00 - Post- meeting.

6:30 - Get dinner. Feel like soup. Feel a head-cold coming on.

8:00 - Try to do linguistics. Feel the desire to hit my head against the wall. Repeatedly.

9:00--12:00 - Watch three hours of Law and Order.

12:30 - Go to bed.

And now it's Monday and I have class and almost definitely a sinus infection. But it's so cold! Shouldn't the cold have frozen all of the allergens? Does that even make sense?

I don't know. My ears hurt. And my head feels strange.

Well, if this weakened-immune-system was brought on by anything this weekend... it was worth it.

Love always,

Clara