I had a dream last night that threw me off for the beginning of the day. Then I realized the reassuring implications of this dream, and was a little ambivalent about whether i wanted to be so reassured. Then... I realized, not for the first time, that I am a pendulum.
Last year I was one way.
Then after things that happened last year, I became not at all that way.
And then this summer other things happened, and the freefall is kind of putting me back where I was before.
But I don't want that. So I'm fighting gravity here.
I just swing.
Somehow all of this means that it appears I haven't changed much at all. Sometimes I think I haven't, but then other times, like these times, it's pretty obvious to me that I have.
Curious.
Clara
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