I get funny spam.

I figured I'd empty out my "spam" folder on Gmail (which, like everything google-related, I totally love, by the way).

Fantastic subject lines that I didn't pursue:

• Want to make 156 today for typing in your favoritePJs? (what if I'm wearing PJs I'm not fond of?)
• Hey, you've been selected (Hey, thanks for selecting me!)
• Your score does not matter to us (what score? who ARE you people?)
• Buy a richer lifestyle... cheap (...wait, what?)
• Common Worries! (Is that supposed to entice me?)
• Be at peace - Help prevent colon cancer with ColonZen (I hadn't realized colon health and spiritual wellbeing were so intricately connected)
• Celebrities are swearing about acai! (Mental image- Kanye West muttering, "fuck acai")
• Complimentary Colon Cleanse (*speechlessness*)
• The Secret of Immortality (OH MY GOD! Why hasn't this been on the news?!)
• What the government doesn't want you to know (I must say, I'm intrigued)
• Greatness awaits. You could be part of an Elite Database! (Um, did the nazi party just discover the internet? I'm afraid. But also surprised they're not more selective)

And my personal favorite,

• HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM... IN BED

I swear to god, all of these were really in my Gmail spam folder. Seriously.

Love always,
Clara