new songs, and me being a stresscase

I had an interesting night. Instead of going into it, I'm going to show you the music I downloaded today.

Internet Killed the Video Star - The Limousines

Young Blood - The Naked & Famous

Corporation Town - Thomas Patrick Maguire

Kiss With a Fist - Florence + The Machine

Sorrow - The National

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

When I'm Alone - Lissie

I've decided I need to make a playlist for "Things in general are not so bad or scary". I've always been a crazy stresscase. I try to pretend that I used to be a crazy stresscase, but that's a lie. I've just gotten better at talking myself down from things.

Sometimes though, I can't totally talk myself down. And I go straight back into stresscase-mode.

When I was younger, I'd get sent into this state by little random things (that my mother would tell you were just projections of greater issues). If I didn't think I'd unplugged the glue gun, I'd stay up at night in a cold sweat with a stomach ache just thinking about my impending doom, and plotting possible ways to get down to the basement/craft room without alerting my parents to my insanity.

Getting slightly older, this would be prompted by an unprovoked certainty that I was failing 10th-grade-world-history (because I got a B on the last essay and haven't done my reading for this week and it's already thursday OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS OVER). And there was no unplugged glue-gun that I could check. I could get up at two in the morning and do the reading, but that wasn't a done deal.

Anyway, I think that I need a playlist to combat these moods. One can't always get up in the middle of the night and run to check the glue gun or do a week's worth of World History reading or dash off to the emergency room.

Sometimes, you need to sleep.

Maybe one of these days I'll get a good night sleep. Perhaps on the airplane back.

Perhaps not.

Love always,

Clara