So I just started legitimately packing. I've managed to fit probably half my wardrobe into one pink (monstrous) suitcase. I'm impressed by my ability to increase the density of my apparel.
Speaking of things that are only impressive to me, check out my ability to make packing skills sound like some kind of scientific achievement!
I'm not sure about this whole college thing. Packing my clothes sort of reminded me that it would in fact be me going to Brown in twelve days, and not some idealized super-capable future version of myself. If this college-attending person is wearing my clothes, she's probably me.
The problem is that I can't visualize it. Every time I picture college, I picture myself alone in my room, without friends, without any involvement in anything, and without good grades, trying to watch Gossip Girl and pretend life isn't happening.
I know this is preposterous.
I managed to make friends this year (after a few, shall we say, false starts), and I was probably involved in every extracurricular group short of the basketball team (and, I was involved with a member of the basketball team, and I think that counts). And hey, my grades were good enough to get me into Brown in the first place.
So obviously I'm not a friendless boring sloth in real life.
But I have this horrible irrational fear that I will become an incredibly drab person as soon as I arrive at this wonderful place.
Anyone else freaking out?
Clara
P.S. The weird part about this is that I know at least a couple future classmates of mine read this, and hopefully I'll develop something of an audience once I get to college.
What if they eventually read this post and become aware of my insecurities? Heaven forbid.
These are the paranoid thoughts I have. Hi, future classmates.
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