4.23.2010

the dastardly deed


Can you figure out why I was lightheaded last night?

Blowing up balloons for four hours tends to do that to a person.

Senior prank '10 (and the first ISBerne senior prank in recent memory) was an epic success. We filled the faculty lounge with balloons, sprayed our names into the field, and sang obnoxious songs over the intercom.
Completely epic.

Today was our last day of school. Or, rather, I'm going to be coming to school next week to do work and deal with yearbook, but no one has classes.
High school classes, in general, are over. Classes, in the sense that I know them, are over.
What a trippy thought.

We had an assembly today; Larissa and Mariam danced, Aksil showed a video, Mehdi gave a speech... He made Mariam stand up and speak as well. She didn't want to, or, rather, she did, but she didn't want to start crying, and she knew that one would lead to the other.
But she got up anyway, and thanked Mr. L for being like a father to the class, and started to cry, which made everyone else want to cry, and we all got up and had a group hug like we were in an after school special or something. It was insane.

I felt bad because I really never got to know Mr. L as well as everyone else did. And I was sad, at the assembly; I'm realizing that I don't actually want to leave. But I want to go home.
I hate living in two places. I like going places. I don't like leaving them. But there's no way to avoid it, except to pretend it isn't happening until the moment you're on the airplane.

Who knew I'd be having these thoughts now. These thoughts belong to August '09.

Except, this time, I know what I'm going to. I know I'm going home. In August '09, I was trying hard to be optimistic about moving, because I had no choice, but honestly I hadn't a clue whether it was going to be good or bad or awesome or scary or what.
This time, I know what's waiting for me. Potomac won't have changed that much since November; I think I can count on that. It didn't change much in the 11 years I was there, no more than I did, although that's not a fair comparison. A person is supposed to change in eleven years. Twelve years.
Between going to Potomac on whatever wednesday afternoon it was, to recite my phone number and look charming and do whatever else it was a five year old needed to do to get into this school, and today, it's been twelve years.

And I'm somewhere else.

I feel like that's fundamentally wrong. Like I'm being disloyal.

But I don't really want to leave.

I don't know how bragging about our awesome senior prank turned into this crazy emotional rant. I think it's that our class really came together last night and today; I felt like I was a part of it, finally, and that's a great feeling, and am I going to have that when I go home? I don't know. I hope so.
Anyway, the balloons were sweet.


Love always,
Clara

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