tumbling

Me: I'm starting a tumblr blog.
Peter: Do you tumble?
Me: Yeah it's like rolling down a hill, on the internet.
Peter: Oh. Ew.
Me: Are you saying you don't enjoy rolling down hills?
Peter: Eh, I guess I did in my youth. Once the arthritis kicked in, a lot of things stopped being fun.
Me: I see.
Peter: Yeah, after seventy, everything starts to fall apart.

I am starting a tumblr blog. Don't expect much from it. In fact, I'm going to wait a month before even linking you to it because I've realized the importance of building up some basic material before showing anything off to the world.

Put that on your calenders, kids.

Love always,
Clara

hrmph.

Discoveries made today:

• I'm perceptive.
• Friends are great.
• Salito's-- also great.
• Sex and the City 2-- not great. Hot guys are great, and pretty dresses are great, but watching two hours of hot guys and pretty dresses pretending to be a movie? Not great.
• Spain is also great.
• Miscommunications are lame.
• Robert is a high-class escort service.

I do try to avoid rambling about my social life on here, but let me just have one quick moment.

So many times, something hasn't worked out for one reason or another and people have said "You can do better" or "You deserve better" or something. So why do I always end up with the same thing, which isn't better?

If I can do better, where is that better thing and why can't I get it?

Whatever though. This incident isn't an earth-shattering one, and it isn't anything for the memoirs. Yes, I've had breakups that I plan to include in my memoirs. I'd say, Will in 08 (sorry, but you knew that was going to be relevant) and Phil, also in 08 (for comedic value).

We'll see. One of those might be replaced by a later breakup if that later breakup is either funnier or more era-defining than either of those.

Love always,

Clara

a story about my childhood

Let's talk about fifth grade.

In fifth grade, I was in Ms. Jackson's class. Ms. Jackson was great. She had us do cheers for people when they got answers right. She started us off with just a basic cheer (I think it was the sprinkler), and by the end of the year, we were a professional step team. That's a lie. But it could have been true.

Charlie, on the first day of school, trying to prove how too-cool he was, asked not to have a cheer. So, Ms. Jackson, brilliant woman that she was, declared,

"All right, let us have a moment of silence for Charlie" which sent us all into hysterics.

We got some kind of weekly grade on a 1-6 scale. A four meant you did everything fine and on time, and to get a five or a six you had to do some kind of extra credit. I wanted to get a six every week, because I was just that kind of nerd in fifth grade. My extra credit projects were always pretty cool though. I made a lot of videos.

This was back when, to make a video, you had to record it on a cassette, and to edit said video, it had to do with playing that cassette back onto the television, while recording a VHS tape. Seriously. Don't think about background music or titles or any of that. It wasn't happening.

I did a few of those, which were pretty chill, but what I was most excited about was the class newspaper, The Jackson Post.

I probably wrote half of it. I think writing an article counted as extra credit, going towards my six.

For some reason I'd forgotten about this, but I used to spend hours playing with Microsoft Publisher 2003, and days putting together short documentaries with that horrible camera.

And now, what do I do all day? Play with Microsoft Publisher 2007 (welcome to the future) and take photos with Turtle the DSLR.

My life has themes. And organic unity.

I'm liking it.

Love always,

Clara

do you have money?

Honestly, let's face it: if you have a computer, you probably have $25 to spare.
You should send it here. In the next four days.
You know why?



Because I want this movie to happen. And they're doing the fundraising on Kickstart, which is probably one of the better things about the internet to date. It's a fund raising website, where you set a time limit and a goal, and people donate money, but you're only charged for your donation if they reach the goal. The goal is $10000. The deadline is the end of the month. They've got $9,500 already.
This needs to happen!

So. Donate some money?

I think this issue is an important one, to be honest. I stole The Purity Myth from Katie and it sent me on this feminist streak that's been really interesting. Society is so weird when it comes to girls and anything sexual- it's all or nothing in most cases in the media, and that's ridiculous.
This documentary looks like it could really bring all the strangeness to light.

More info from one of my favorite blogs, here.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. If you donate $25, they can send you a signed copy of the DVD. So you're basically buying a DVD in advance, but if the DVD is never made, you don't pay for it.

you're watching afn

I've been watching a lot of TV lately, basically because summer is the only season that I have the spare time.

Watching TV here necessarily means watching AFN. We have like, 15 channels, which isn't bad, but they're pretty bizarre channels. Although, as long as I can get my fill of Law and Order SVU and trashy movies (currently watching: The House Bunny), I'm solid.

The commercials are all military-interest, which means they're all low budget and fairly strange. They advertise things like army chaplains or online courses or saving water, and they use comic sans ms with zero irony.

(There is, of course, a time and a place for Comic Sans MS. That time is 2008, and the place is my AIM default font, in magenta. That is all.)

I'd say the most bizarre part of all of this though are the ads that sort of, declare the channel. You know the ones, that are like, "You're watching this channel!" which are completely redundant, by the way, because who doesn't know what channel they're watching these days?

Anyway, they have these ads that I can only describe as absurdist.

Example 1:

A man is standing far away in a field. He runs up to the camera (stationary) and, panting, says "You're watching AFN!"

Example 2:

A man in a military uniform says something incomprehensible and then says "and you're watching AFN." There's a subtitle at the bottom of the screen, and it says, "whattheheckisthisguysaying?"

Example 3:

A man (dressed in plain clothes) approaches a man in a scuba suit and asks him, "Hey, which way to the commissary?" The scuba man says, "It's just that way," and the normal man thanks him and he's on his way. And then the scuba man faces the camera and says, "You're watching AFN!"

Just try to make sense of this.

Love always,

Clara

congratulations!

OMG

Dear Clara:

Congratulations! You have been placed in the following course(s) in the
first round of the CAP/FYS lottery:

PHIL:0250:2010-Fall:S01 (Curricular Advising Program)
LITR:0110A:2011-Spring:S04 (First-Year Seminar)

Translation: I'm taking "The Meaning of Life" first semester and Fiction I second semester. And my advisor is going to be a philosophy professor. COLLEGE IS GOING TO ROCK.

Love always,

Clara

out tonight

That's where I went.

Actually, first I went to work.

Then I went home for all of ten minutes.

Then I went to the pool, and got lost on the way there, because some people give terrible directions. I asked for help from a Swiss woman.

Me: Scuzi, wo ist... muribad? aarebad?

Woman: Oh! Yes, straight ahead, and to the left!

My german is so unconfident these days. I need to get back into shape. That is, if german constitutes physical activity (and have you heard those consonants?).

The pool was fun. The water was freezing. Robert sort of threw me in. I say "sort of" because once I knew I was going in, I just jumped in. I'd rather enter the swimming pool on my own terms, thanks.

Then a bunch of us walked down the river a bit and grilled. This sounds like a poorly thought out plan, because it was, but it was also fantastic. Kajus had a bunch of chicken, Matt brought a bratwurst, and Chris had a couple small (but delicious) steaks.

Essentially, what guys think when they think "Let's go grilling!" they think, "What do we need? Meat and flame."

Things such as tongs, plates, silverware, any food other than raw meat, or even a proper grilling surface were considered completely unnecessary. Thank goodness heat kills germs, because there was probably a lot of nature happening* on that outdoor grill thing near the river.

So we lit a fire under this grilling surface, because Kajus is the fire-master, and discussed all that is life, and I was the only girl there (which you know I relish).

Then we headed into town and chilled.

And watched the game, which was kind of sad. I wish Switzerland had made it further, if only because I like the drama of being in a country where people care and the team is doing well. I wish I'd been here when we beat Spain.

Anyway, it was a great night. I need to get film for Diana Mini, because I feel like she would be a good companion on these nights. She's got a flash.

We saw a Danish flag somewhere.

Thomas: It's a Danish flag!

Me: I honestly wouldn't have known that.

Thomas: What? Clara, I thought you were smart!

Me: I know, I'm ashamed. I'm not good with flags.

Thomas: I love Denmark!

Me: Me too! I'm going there this summer! I'm going to Copenhagen!

Thomas: That's awesome!

Me: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Thomas: What? That's insulting!

Me: It's shakespeare!

That basically sums up this night.

Love always,

Clara

*Yeah, that's right, nature happens. It's an event.

alexander graham bell

This is a real conversation that took place while the kids were playing soccer. Emily and I were TOTALLY HELPING (and by that I mean, standing on the field, having a conversation).

Oren: Oi!

Me: People don't really say oi in America...

Emily: Kyle says 'Ahoy' to me. On Facebook chat.

Me: Did you know that Alexander Graham Bell wanted people to say 'Ahoy' when they answered the phone?

Kyle: (running by, playing soccer) Yes, he did!

Me: Do you think Kyle is trying to emulate Alexander Graham Bell?

Emily: Maybe. Let's ask.

Me: Kyle, do you admire Alexander Graham Bell?

Kyle: No.

Me: Kyle, do you have disdain for Alexander Graham Bell?

Kyle: No. I have nothing for Alexander Graham Bell.

Me: So you're apathetic toward Alexander Graham Bell?

Kyle: Alexander Graham Bell is nothing to me.

Me: That sounds like disdain!

Kyle: No!

... Later ...

Me and Emily: Ahoy!

Love always,

Clara

remember the light across the sky

remember the light across the sky, originally uploaded by csb324.

Is this not gorgeous?

Today was cool. I've come to the conclusion that my job is awesome.

Also, the ISB kids got their yearbooks today! Is that not the greatest thing you have ever heard? I am so thrilled. It looks beast.
I flip through it and I can tell who designed each page. Like, some are straight Mariam, and some have Halima written all over them.

And then there are mine. Which are all over the place, by the way, because I spent an absurd amount of time working on the yearbook.

They cut out a lot of the text, which is probably ok because no one really reads it anyway. Struck me as interesting though.

The reason I know this is that I went to school today at like, five. Why? No reason really. Chris called and was like "Come to school" and I didn't really have anything better to do.
It was fun. Emily and I played soccer with the guys. We were Team Awesome.

Anyone: [scores goal]
Us: Yeah, that's us! Team Awesome! Another point for Team Awesome!

It was the pinnacle of intensity.

Now I'm going to eat tortellini and play guitar.

Sorry the blog's been a bit mundane. My life's been a bit mundane in the greatest way possible. I'm long overdue for some kind of incredibly awkward experience though, so keep reading. I promise, it's coming.

Love always,
Clara

ipad: useful for reading boobs

Yesterday was fun. I've decided this summer is going to be fantastic. I don't know why it took me so long to come to this conclusion, but I'm glad that I have, and I think that's all that matters really.

There was a water fight at school, so I turned up to take some pictures, which didn't turn out quite as well as I had hoped. It's hard to catch the action, interestingly enough, when thirty kids are running around a blacktop with water balloons and you're trying to stay out of the splash zone.

Then I hung out for a bit, since I didn't have much else to do.

Chris was around, but he had basketball practice, so he sort of had an excuse to be there (unlike the rest of us).

Chris: What are you guys still doing here? Don't you have lives?

Me: Well, it's chill out here or go home and play with my dog.

Anine: Yeah, it's chill here or go home and play with mySELF!

[weird looks are exchanged all around]

I don't remember what they (Emily and Anine) are theoretically pointing at in this picture. I just remember that they wanted to make that face.

Hm. Very questionable.

Then I came home and talked to David. He has successfully captured his father's iPad.

David
AND its how i want to read the newspaper next year, which means I won't have to ask for a weekend subscription to the nytimes for my birthday
THRIFTINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me
hahaha
ipad=thrifty
David
AND i will read boobs on it!
BOOKS
Me
hahahahahahahahahahahaha

b and k aren't even near each other on the keyboard. I really don't know where he was going with that.

Love always,

Clara

P.S. Google Analytics tells me how people arrive at this site, and I'm hoping some really bizarre search terms lead to this post.

i didn't take this photo

In fact, it's definitely not a photo at all.
It's one of Nick Cueva's profile pictures.
And it cracks me up like no other.

I just took a 4 hour nap and missed like, 3 phone calls, and completely screwed up my sleep cycle. Now Mom is calling me for like the fourth time and I'm not answering. Yes Mom I know you're reading this. Mom, I ignored your call because I am tired and your calling kept waking me up and now I resent your telephone presence.
Ohhh snap.

Now I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. I really need to drop off film, but I'm fairly certain I slept past the closing time of most places. Although it's still broad daylight, at 7:18, which never fails to astound me. Late June is the greatest.

Anyway, I'm just here to raise my hands into the air and flail them about, as if there were no repercussions.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. What are the typical repercussions of raising one's hands in the air and flailing them about. What repercussions are we failing to acknowledge? That sounds like the basis for some bad policy to me.

i'm back

I knew I'd missed the swiss kids, but I hadn't realized how much I'd missed the swiss kids until today.

These kids are hilariously dysfunctional in what I consider the best way possible.

I started work today, but they didn't know what to do with me, so I theoretically left early. Except I ran into Peter, and he was like, "Want to help me smash computers?" and I was like "THERE IS NOTHING I WOULD RATHER DO"

So we smashed computers for a while. It was pretty cool- you have to mostly take them apart first, and then smash the important parts with a hammer.

Then I hurried over to school because what I've realized (speaking of dysfunctional) is that these kids could not organize themselves for coffee unless I personally escorted them to Starbucks.

Well worth it.

Thomas was having like, issues with ice.

Thomas: I don't know what to do with this! It's melting!

[someone]: Put it in your mouth.

(Thomas tries, but drops it or something)

Thomas: Who knew ice was so slippery!

Also, the greatest quote without context I have ever heard-

Chris: I wish we'd bought a hamster from the Japanese.

After coffee like, half of us left, and the other half were cool and ran through the fountain and walked down to the bear pit. The bears aren't in the pit anymore; they've got a whole hillside to wander on. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen-- a mama bear and two baby bears. They reminded me of Chilidog.

Who is sitting on the couch with me right now, by the way.

I love that dog.

Oh, also, I took a million pictures. Turtle and I are really getting along.

Love always,

Clara

"he's a handful"

Me
what a weird expression btw
"a handful"
Phil
yea like
if a child was literally a handful
if he was that tiny
he'd be easy to manage
Me
hahaha
Phil
also a handful of anything is always better than just a few
oh god put down that handful of jellybeans it must be awful
no one ever says that
Me
hahahaha
i love jellybeans
maybe if you hated jellybeans
then it would make sense
Phil
but who hates jelly beans?
Me
or like, "put down that handful of spiders!"
but no one says that either
bc we don't really measure spiders by the handful
hmmmm
Phil
ah
quite a poignant observation

Presented without comment.

Love always,
Clara

airplanes

I'm back in Bern!
In other, unrelated news, I'm jetlagged.

In other, completely and genuinely unrelated, news, I've been talking to Phil.
I'm pretty sure that when I started this blog, it was during the week or so during the summer of 08 that we called ourselves "dating" before he cheated on me at boyscout camp or something equally absurd. It's cool that I've been keeping this blog for almost two years and Phil and I are still buds.

Phil
yea i call him jbrenz
no i dont
but i wish i could
thatd be sweet
Me
hahaha
i always have nicknames for people in my head
that i don't use much in real life
but sometimes i do and people are like "wait who?"
Phil
haha
why do i feel like this happens alot to you?
Me
because i am completely and transparently dysfunctional
this should not be news

It's a fact of life, really.

So you know what is completely inexplicable? Signs at the airport, when you're on the road approaching it, saying "ARRIVALS" and "DEPARTURES". Think about it. Either you're arriving at the airport, only to depart from that city several hours later, or you just arrived at the airport, and now you need to depart. No one remains at the airport; everyone arrives and departs. So how are you supposed to know whether "ARRIVALS" means "I just arrived at the airport and am about to fly somewhere" or "A friend just arrived here, and I'm picking them up, from the airport"

I was telling dad this yesterday.

Dad: You should blog about that.
Me: I'm going to.

Love always,
Clara

fun with turtle

the house is lit up, originally uploaded by csb324.

(This picture is actually from the grad party a couple nights ago)

I've been being a camera whore all night.
We had a birthday party for Dad. My family is gigantic and wild.

Dad: I was worried mom would turn this into a surprise party, but I don't think she did. I think it's just the family.
Me: Yeah, just family. Think about how many of us there are though. It's going to be a party.

I took a billion pictures. Literally.
Or, literally, figuratively.
But don't take that figuratively!

Then we came back to my aunt and uncle's house. We were talking about college shopping.

Mom: Theresa told me how to get things from Bed Bath and Beyond. You go in with a gun...
Me: What?!
Mom: Yeah and you say "look, bitch, I want sheets."
Me: And you have a gun, so they give it to you.

Actually, what happens is you go in with this laser gun and you shoot it at things you want for college, and you do this in your local store, and then when it's time for college you can go to the Bed Bath and Beyond near your school and they say "Oh shit, it's the girl with the gun; we'd better give her what she wants!" and all the things you wanted are like, in a special room for you.

Is that not the coolest thing in the world?

These are the things that I get excited about when I haven't had enough sleep.
Et. Cetera.

Love always,
Clara.

graduation, etc.

Above: Proof that I graduated.

Yesterday.

And yet it still hasn't hit me. I definitely don't feel like a college student. Maybe I will once I get to Brown. But no promises.

In my unable-to-process-abstract-ideas mind, the highlight of the day was going out and buying a graduation present, a Nikon D5000. It is essentially the most wonderful camera in the world and I am in love with it and his name is Turtle. So we've bonded.

It's funny how some of my items have names that just immediately come to me (i.e. Turtle the DSLR, James the point&shoot, Cecilia the swiss iPhone) and some take longer (i.e. Steve the MacBook Pro, Zola the car).

Also, it's funny how much I just name-dropped awesome technology.

I think my life is several standard deviations from the mean.

So today, I was told that I had to go to the pediatrician* to get my meningitis vaccine. So I drive all the way there, only to be told that I actually got that vaccine in 2006, and I can go home. Which is a bit frustrating but not a huge deal, until there was insane traffic and construction on the way home and this entire pointless ordeal took an hour and a half out of my day.

My goodness.

Now I'm trying to pack, because we're moving in with my aunt and uncle for a couple days and then I fly back to Switzerland. Looking forward to that.

Love always,

Clara

*Am I not a little old to be going to a pediatrician? I think so.

baccawhatt?

Baccalaureate was tonight!

It was super. Mr. C. gave me a nerdy shoutout. Being the attention freak that I am, I loved it.

Wait. Rewind.

The last day of school was today. I literally sat around and signed yearbooks all day. It's hard to come up with clever things to say. I hope I erred on the side of clever and not on the side of creepy (a side with which I am not unfamiliar).

Regardless, that was fun.

Then we had that interminable assembly in the gym with the whole student body, and Yar and Marie gave awesome speeches, and IS bells played "Chasing Cars" which was surprisingly fantastic, and the band played the Harry Potter theme.

Isabella: Are they really playing Harry Potter at the closing assembly?

Me: Yep.

Isabella: It makes me want to go to Hogwarts.

I got that feeling too.

So then I got coffee and that was really great because I love coffee, and then I came back here and did whatever it was that I did, and then I went to baccalaureate. Magnifessence (Mag 7 + Quintessence - seniors = actually quite good) sang "And So It Goes" for us and I almost cried. They are amazing and I love them. Facts of life.

The dinner was pretty great as well. I wish SAGE dining services had prepared that kind of meal for us every day, throughout the four years, instead of just stepping it up when we become imminent alumni, and, thus, soon-enough-money-donators.

It can't be that hard to throw together a meal of sliders, salmon, roast beef, cheesy potatoes (I know there's a word for this), and bread rolls. And then a dessert platter with cheesecake-on-a-stick (I know, right?). They should be able to pull this together every day.

But no.

Alas.

Anyway, at some point between coffee and baccalaureate I got the worst migraine of my life, and I spent a lot of the dinner running around in some kind of headachey haze. It was wild.

Tomorrow is graduation.

Holy shit.

Love always,

Clara

red vs. blue

Today was red blue day. We (blue, of course) dominated.

I was about to make some snarky comment about how we always dominate and then I realized this was the first time we've won in like, 4 years.

So maybe it wouldn't be justified.

Blogging about red blue day reminded me of vlogging about red blue day and so I'm going to embarrass myself

Feel free to check out the comments on that beauty... they're priceless.

Speaking of random flashbacks, Daphna and I just had this conversation on facebook-

Daphna

i was going through random old things and apparently you said this at some point in time: "Oh I have a hilarious story about Hannah Montana and nihilism and my friend's brother by the way."

Me

hahahahahahaha
i think i remember what that was about
no joke. beginning of sophomore year.

It had to do with John Gee, High School Musical 2, and the fact that I'd just come home from existentialist camp.

I feel like I'm catching this nostalgia bug that's been going around. Justifiably so.

Tomorrow is the last day of school as I know it.

Yikes.

There's always Phil to take my mind off things. He does so by engaging me in fascinating discussions about the purpose of organized religion.

Phil

god invented confession so christians could run around and have wild orgies with midgets and animals and not feel bad about it

Me

I see, I see

Love always,

Clara

the pre-graduation frenzy

Did I not blog for two days? Maybe it was just one. In any case, I feel very guilty for that. Two days ago my parents came back into town, so I stayed in that night and chilled with them. I definitely could have blogged two days ago, and I'm just not sure whether I did, so, if I didn't, that's why.

Yesterday was full to the brim with shopping for dresses and getting one's nails done (in a beautiful turquoise color) and going to graduation parties. So that was chill but a little bit insane in its own way.

Today there was a brunch and I ate a fantastic waffle.

Tomorrow is red blue day and red is going down. And we'll get our yearbooks.

Tuesday is the last day of school, of high school, or even k-12 school, ever. Which is completely mind-blowing.

And then there's Wednesday. Graduation day.

That's essentially what's been going on. Apologies if I'm missing in action a bit. There are a lot of real-life obligations that I have to attend to first.

Love always,

Clara

oh, potomac kids.

Merritt: Sorry about my brother.

Me: Oh, don't worry about it. I was there when your mom was pregnant with this kid.

Wyatt: Really?

Me: Yep! The world did exist before you were born, hard as that is to believe.

Wyatt: Well it must have been awful...

Me: Spoken like a true Potomac student.

Keep in mind, this kid is ten. Maybe.

The rest of the senior project presentations were today. It was phenomenal. I was going to say, who knew Potomac kids were so talented? and then I realize that oh, wait, we all did.

I love our hubris though. I really do.

Senior project presentations, in general, were pretty great. Or, at least, they led to some pretty awesome quotes with minimal context:

Matthew (having worked on a vineyard): I'll be there this summer. I know none of us are of age but.... If any of you guys want to come out and... have a glass of water... it's a great place for a glass of water.

Brian did his project on squash training. It seems he basically worked out and stretched and ate all the time. Cool? (Athleticism in other people will never cease to astound me)

Taylor: Was that like, fun?

Brian: Well, I mean, sitting on the foam roller for like, an hour got boring after a while...

David: You mean the massage was the not fun part?!

My thoughts exactly, David.

Some of the people in my group blogged about their projects! If you want to see the stunning diversity in senior projects, check out these links (and a video!)-

Taylor's Blog

Cat and Amelia's Blog

My Book Blog

Love always,

Clara

the damp tuxedo

I had my senior project presentation today. It was super. Then I bought some shorts that aren't booty shorts.

Me: I'm really glad I found these non-obscene shorts.

Cath: I'm sure I speak for my entire family when I say, I'm glad you found them too.

Apparently the shorts I was wearing last week (because I had been trying to get a tan! My god...) deeply scandalized Sam. Puritains these days.

Now I'm talking to David.

Me
have you heard from mfost?
David
haha yeah nice nicknamae
Me
(i call her that in my head sometimes)
David
cool, do you call me dwi?
Me
i call you the damp tuxedo
David
WAY BETTER

Oh, so, I got my graduation dress altered. And today they called me to say that it was done and ready (and I love it that much more now) but I didn't pick up, so I got these two mysterious missed calls on my phone.

So I called back.

Phone: Mclean Cleaners

Me: Sorry?

Phone: Mclean Cleaners, can I help you?

Me: Oh, I understand why you've called! Okay. Never mind. I get it now.

Phone: What?

Me: I had a missed call from this number...

Phone: Who are you?

Me: Clara Beyer?

Phone: Oh, your dress is ready.

Me: I know!

I don't know why I made that so awkward/difficult. The guy was clearly very confused. I could have just carried on like a normal person.

But why would I do that?

Love always,

Clara

summer songs

I've been downloading music left and right.

By left, I mean iTunes, and by right, I mean various music blogs discovered on hype machine.

Feel it in my Bones (feat. Tegan and Sara) - Tiesto

Playground Love (Air cover) - Phoenix

Opposite of Adults - Chiddy Bang

Everlasting Light - The Black Keys

The Difference Between Us - The Dead Weather

Rill Rill - Sleigh Bells

My Radio (AM Mix) - Stars

Sunlight - The Harlem Shakes

Generator (First Floor) - Freelance Whales

Rebellion (Lies) - Arcade Fire

Death to Death - Stars

The Kids - B.o.B

I"m Not Your Toy - La Roux

Also, the Eclipse soundtrack leaked. The news about this made me curious so I checked it out. I'm realizing with a little bit of joy and a little bit of horror that it's got all of these artists that I love on it. Metric? Florence and the Machine? Vampire Weekend? What?

I'm not pretending I own Florence. But think with me, for a second, about the implications of this. My sister loves Twilight and all things related. She's going to listen to this album on repeat for at the very least a week. And suddenly she'll be introduced to the amazing musical sensations of hearing Metric for the first time (the doctor, the writer, the garbage collector, fingerprinted waiting for the train, lord lord mother, we're all losing love, lord listen lover, we're all missing mama) and what if she likes it?

One part of me says, of course she'll like it. It's great.

Another part of me says, if she likes it, she will have stolen my taste in music by means of trend-following, which I cannot respect.

And a third part of me says that she might just pretend to like it because it's got Robert Pattinson on its album art, and maybe she'll keep on listening to Green Day or whomever it is she likes these days, while proclaiming that The Black Keys are brilliant.

Which, by the way, I've decided they are.

Ugh. This awakens a whole new set of dilemmas.

On a lighter note, check this out:

Love always,

Clara

lottery time

I just entered the lotteries for First Year Seminars and the Curricular Advising Program next year! I'm really excited about the ones I signed up for so I'm just going to post them right now.

First Year Seminars

1. Fiction I (Literary Arts)
2. Exploring the Fourth Dimension (Math)
3. Empowering Youth: Insights from Research on Urban Adolescents (Education)

Curricular Advising Program

1. The Meaning of Life (Philosophy)
2. Personality (Cognitive Sciences)
3. Digital Art (Modern Culture and Media)

Essentially I entered a lottery for every major I might be considering.

Doesn't it all sound so cool?

College is going to be the greatest thing ever.

Aside from the awesomeness (yeah my vocabulary is definitely Ivy League material thanks for asking) of studying the fourth dimension, college is going to be phenomenal. I'm so looking forward to not having to check in with parents or foster parents or whatever. If I want to come home at 2AM, I will. If I feel the desire to go to the library at the crack of dawn (these are all hypotheticals, obviously), I can do that.

Hooray for college.

So excited. But right now, I should be reading. So I'm going to do that.

Love always,

Clara

the basketcase

I'm talking to Daphna about the mess that is my life as of right now.

Me
i'm a basketcase
seriously
i should be institutionalized
Daphna
a cute basketcase
or ivy league institutionalized
Me
haha
maybe brown will be my institution
like, my mental institution
as well as ivy league
maybe it will be both!
Daphna
im sure they have good mental health services
just saying.
it worked for lena chen.
Me
good call, good call
Daphna
oh god, not that shes an example to model your college life on.

For those unaware, Lena Chen is the author of Sex and the Ivy and the Ch!cktionary. She's actually one hell of a feminist, but also a bit of a slut, which is not the route I necessarily plan to travel.

Here's a thought- narratives. Such as, the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. Memories, of course, aren't actual transcripts of events-- our interpretations are pretty influential in how we end up recalling things. So the way we tell ourselves our own stories shapes our reality.

But what happens when your narrative and reality simply don't correspond in a meaningful way?

We choose our narratives a lot based on what's easiest to believe. Which is a healthy human psychological phenomenon- it's part of the unconditional positive regard for ourselves that most mentally stable people have. (Lack of the unconditional positive regard is a symptom of depression, as I understand it).

But what if your narrative and reality differ in such drastic ways that people end up alienated?

How to resolve the narrative-reality dissonance?

Changing the narrative is inconvenient. It means you have to reevaluate your life, and all of the events between the time you formed this narrative and the present. That's a lot of work and a lot of thinking. But... what if you have to?

This is what I've been thinking about lately. Narratives are interesting. I want to know more about them- their adaptive qualities, and their destructive qualities. Flip sides of the same coin.

I like pretending my own life is some kind of microcosm for the world, be that in psychological terms, or moral terms, or whatever other terms.

Maybe that's because within my narrative, I'm the center of the world? And what is real in my world is real for all of the world, because all of the world is my world?

Maybe I'll be a philosophy major.

Love always,

Clara

cool links! boring blogger

I'm just going to post some links to things, because today was decidedly uneventful (except that I had a turkey burger at Chicken Out and read a bit. Oh wait, that's not an event.)

You Are Not So Smart

A blog about cognitive biases and other things that make you not so smart.

Tea Party poetry

Sarah Palin, unedited.

Word Disassociation

It's like word association, but the opposite, and hilarious. I'd almost forgotten about this song.

Glee's Lack Of Friendly Homophobes Outrages Conservatives

Reasons I love Jezebel, episode #73

Erm that's it. Sorry I'm Boring.

Love always,

Clara

in which i use the word 'integrity' twice

I had a dream last night that I'd just arrived at Brown and I was rushing for a sorority, and they gave me all these forms with really stressful questions on them, and then once I finished the forms they told me that I'd filled out the wrong ones.

Then something happened with ladders. Or windows?

Dreams are hard to remember clearly and even harder to explain in any coherent way, but here I am trying.

I essentially spent the whole day out reading. Started at Greenberry's, stayed there for a while, then walked over to the Subway near there. The guy at the cash register was cute. We flirted briefly. I felt like an eighth grader. Then I sat in Subway and read for about an hour. At which point Eleni texted me and invited me to work with her at Java Shack, so I hopped in my car (his name is Benny, by the way, and he's a white volvo S40) and headed over.

We sat there for a while in relative silence, me reading, her taking an "Integrity Quiz" on which she scored 100%.

And then there was a thunderstorm, and I drove her home, and then Mackenzie and I had dinner or appetizers or something.

I've had good luck with my mix CDs lately. I think this one is charmed, and I'm going to hold on to it for situations where I need a charmed mix CD.

I believe in some pretty crazy shit. Such as charmed mix CDs and cars with names and personalities. But all of it has worked for me so far.

I also believe I live a basically charmed life, like that song that was popular in like, sixth grade, but my life is less saccarine than the song.

Also, for the record, I've been called naive and blindly optimistic.

Just so that I can present both sides of the story.

Journalistic integrity is totally my forte.

Love always,

Clara

"seize that pile of crap"

I'm talking to David about Senior Project presentations.

David: Clara, you and I have been blessed with many talents, the best of which possibly being the ability to ramble on about bullshit for extended periods of time.

I'm thinking I'm going to dedicate a slide of my slideshow to the fact that I've become a regular at Greenberry's.

I spelled Baccalaureate right on the first try in my calendar, which led me to wonder about the etymology of such a word. And here is where I landed.

Me: So they used to orate... sermons. Like Mr. C.

David: I would love him to be my minister.

Me: Me too. If I had a church, it would be the church of Cobb.

I finished a book in one day today. It was A Short History of Women and I highly recommend it if you are a woman of if you are into women or even if you are a gay man, maybe you would like it anyway. Point is, if you ever encounter women in your life, you should read this. And for those monks who haven't seen a woman in years because they meditate all day, they should read it so they know what they're missing.

David: I don't want to say we were thrifty because we stayed at the Ritz.

Hanging out with Vivian and Leo the other night was awesome. They are a great family.

Leo: They have a bad reputation, but there is so much cargo potential in airships! They sort of missed the boat, no pun intended, on passenger travel, but they can lift so much. I'd just need some money to get the idea off the ground, so to speak.

Me: *giggles* That was an awesome pun.

Vivian: I don't get it.

...

Me: I'll be sure to invest in your Hindenburgs.

Leo: I resent that.

I love living in a house where the 7th grader correctly uses the word 'incorrigible'. I feel like that wouldn't happen in Switzerland. I hadn't realized how privileged I was over here until I left.

Regardless, people with big vocabularies are great.

Love always,

Clara