If We Did It

(A short story in the style of OJ Simpson)

There was an epic and awesome prank played last night. I had nothing to do with it. But if I did, it would have been in retaliation to a very silly prank played on Nicole and I involving green tape and "wet floor" signs outside our door.

But we didn't do it.

But if we did, we would have gone to Walgreens last night with Tracy, because when three girls go to Walgreens with ambiguous goals, no one really asks questions.
And at Walgreens we would have bought Nutella, Axe body spray, duct tape, and cling wrap.
We would have come upstairs discreetly in the elevator. Then we would have come downstairs and played guitar hero like the epic beasts that we are.

Then, we would have set our alarm for 3:30 AM.

Upon waking up at 3:30 AM, we would have quietly slipped down the stairs to the guys' hall with our supplies. Then we would have noted which doors contained people we knew.

Then, we would have gotten to work.

We (hypothetically of course) would have duct taped cling wrap to their doorframes, so that when they opened their doors they would have been trapped by a clear layer of plastic. It would have taken like, an hour. I have heard it's really pretty hard to get cling wrap to not cling to itself for long enough to tape it to a door.

Then, we would have smeared nutella on the handle to the door of the bathroom. On both sides.

As a finishing touch, we would have sprayed the Axe all over the hall, so that it smelled like an overzealous 13 year old boy.
(No offense Chris)

But no, we slept soundly through the night. Of course we did. My god, we're not nearly that creative or stealth. Although flattering that you would think so.

Love always,
Clara