HAPPY 2010!

Did I make resolutions last year? I don't remember.
Happy new year!

2010 is...

• The year I graduate
• The year I start college
• The year of many more wonderful things that have yet to be determined.
  

Note: Do not take things from elevators and keep them. Things found in elevators cannot really be trusted.

I feel vaguely superior because it's 2010 here, and it's still 2009 in America. I'm ahead of the times, you guys.

I want to go to bed. I probably will. Very soon.

Love always,
Clara

up there is starbucks

up there is starbucks, originally uploaded by csb324.

Eleni and Katie and I walked around today. It was sort of drizzly, but we stopped in stores to warm up, so it was good. A tiring day though.

We made homemade pizza for dinner. Or rather, we were supplied with dough, tomato sauce, and toppings, and we put them all together. It was delicious beyond imagining.

That's really all. I've been pretty busy, but not with blog-worthy moments, unfortunately.

Love always,
Clara

oh stop compaining, aeneas

Katie [on The Aeneid]: It's like, I'm sorry your house burned down, but stop complaining and found Rome already.

David
you know what words make me upset?
Dalmatian, catsup
clara
hahahahahaha
David
how can i raise children in a world where words are spelled this way???
clara
out of curiosity, how should dalmatian be spelled?
David
DOW-MATION

Eleni was playing us some sitar music by Ravi Shankar. He's Norah Jones's father. How a person with such an interesting name could be the father of someone with such a boring name was a mystery. We looked him up on wikipedia. Norah's mother's name was Sue. Norah is a step up.
Nothing against people named Sue though.

Eleni: Do you mind if I change it to Greek music?
Katie: Yes I do. I have to listen to your sitar music. Right now.

Love always,
Clara

matterhorn!

Cath and Sam just left. Katie's still here. Eleni came.
The Zermatt kids showed me this song. Apparently Dan Daniell was at their restaurant.

I have no further comment.

Love always,
Clara

the official wintry mix

my room, originally uploaded by csb324.

I've got the whole house playing my official holiday CD right now. I love big sound systems.

Come On! Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance! - Sufjan Stevens

Last Christmas - Taylor Swift

Maybe Next Year (X-Mas Song) - Meiko

White Christmas - Katy Perry

Holy, Holy, Holy - Sufjan Stevens

Winter Song - Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson

Frosty the Snowman - Fiona Apple

Charlie Brown Song - Charlie Brown

Baby It's Cold Outside - Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey

Joy to the World - Sufjan Stevens

Winterlove - Parachute

Santa Baby - Taylor Swift

The Friendly Beasts*- Sufjan Stevens

Put the Lights On the Tree - Sufjan Stevens

Christmas Time is Here - A Fine Frenzy

*Potomac kids who are lifers or lifer-esque, I'm sure you remember this song. I was so thrilled to find a version that didn't include 50 first graders resigned to their fate.

Speaking of Potomac kids, three arrive today! I'm picking them up from the train station in half an hour.

I've been sitting with the family and gossiping for the last hour.

Uncle David: That guy died at like, seventy four. He smoked Camel unfiltereds his whole life. But you know, that's how this guy lived. Boom boom boom boom... Boom. He probably died boom-boom-ing.

I realize there are a lot of Davids on this blog. This is David, my mom's youngest brother.

Uncle David (eating yogurt): That guy in the dining room is good looking [he's referring to a picture of my great grandfather].

Me: I know right? He looks like a dorkier late nineteenth century Orlando Bloom!

Dad: Well where do you think you got your good looks? It certainly wasn't from your mom's family.

David: Don, would you like to be killed with a spoon? It's an ugly way to go.

Love always,
Clara

i have made a discovery

I know why I don't read. Aunt Sally just said something that made it very clear to me.

Shirley: Sally did you take a nap?
Sally: Well, you see, I sat down to read this book.
Me: Oh it's always when you sit down to read a book.
Sally: Yep! And I fell right asleep. And then I took a shower and I feel like a new person.

I don't read because whenever I open a book I take a nap, and I need naps because I am sleep deprived. It's easy to be on a computer when you're sleep deprived, because it's shining a light in your face. But a book doesn't scream at you; it doesn't demand to be read. So it's too easy to just let your eyes close.

I got a good number of books for christmas, so I'm going to have to figure out how to avoid this problem. Get more sleep? Maybe.

Or I could invent some device that shines a light in your face while you read.
You know, when I was little, I wanted to be an inventor like Stu Pickles on Rugrats. I had so many great ideas, of which I still remember none. What a shame. I'm sure all of my ideas were absolutely brilliant.
For some context, this was at about the age when I was pretty sure I was an alien.

King*: You have home insurance here, so if something gets stolen, they'll pay for it. Not that Christmas tree, because there wouldn't be much use for the tree after it was stolen, but say if your computer was taken, they could give you the money. And then your grandfather could have the $500 computer, and no one would have to know.
Me: Yep. Insurance fraud is fun.
King: Yeah... Don't try it though!

*King is my grandfather on my mom's side. He's the one who reminds me of Flava Flav sometimes. He's hilarious.

Love always,
Clara

merry christmas!

I love holidays.

Most of the fam is at church. I'm embracing my secular side.

Merry Christmas!

Love always,
Clara

super busy with family and such

I'm on my dad's computer right now. I will admit, I sort of hate his keyboard a lot, so I'm going to keep this short.

We currently have eleven family members besides ourselves living in my house. It's always exciting.

Chilidog ate chocolate the other day and started acting like it was cocaine or something. He goes from zero to lunatic in about two minutes, if chocolate is involved. We took him to the vet and now he's fine, but his sugar high was sort of scary/hilarious while it lasted.

Last minute Christmas shopping is a blast and a half.

Picking up holgapics that I should have gotten developed months ago is always a fun and surprising experience.

New rule for Clara's photography: Portraits portraits portraits. Taking portraits is more interesting than taking random architecture shots, which was basically my modus operandi for the past while.

We ate fondue in the garage last night. I mean, they managed to turn the garage into like, a shrine to christmas, so it was a very classy festive event. All I have to say about that is, melty cheese is wonderful.

I sure do love melty cheese.

For the Christians and non-religious-christmas-celebrators (such as myself) out there, happy Christmas Eve!

Love always,
Clara

what's up, queen bee?

Steve: What's up queen bee? I like the way you roll!

Steve is my step-uncle. He's like, sixty. I think he read a dictionary of the new hot teen lingo on the plane ride over here.
Mom, Aunt Susan, Uncle Steve, and their kids and I all went on a walk just now. We lost the middle one, Malcolm. He managed to find his way home, naturally, but the guards didn't tell us this.

Mom: Ihre... how do you say walk?
Me: Oh mom are you trying to speak german? Let me help.
Mom: Okay you do it.
Me (in german): So my... her (points at aunt) son... we all went for a stroll, and now... there is only us... have you seen him?
Guard: Hehe... No
Me (still in german): When you see him, can you let him take in?

Let this be an indication of my creative approach to communication. The guard did understand everything I said though, so I consider it a success. Eloquent, no. Effective, yes.

Love always,
Clara

here's what i like about you: you know how to dance

I have spent the past half hour downloading eighties music.
January 8th. ISBerne kids. You will want to be there. If only to see yours truly dressed up as a colorblind stripper. You know that's been on your to do list for a while.

Student council's ambitions (such as off campus privileges and constitutional drama) have overshadowed its only clearly defined responsibility: School Dances.
I'm talking to David on facebook chat.
He was under the impression that when I said I'm "organizing a dance," I meant I was choreographing something for the student council to perform. It was a moment of confusion for all of us when I said that was essentially our one true purpose.

David
dancing is your only responsibility? now i am all for small government but maybe its time to expand your authority

That, of course, is what we've been trying to do, but everyone has to go back to their roots at some point.

David
i have just discovered a naked person on my pillow
clara
hahahhahahahahaha
please explain yourself?

The naked people were on his pillow's tempurpedic logo. They may be men, they may be women. They are sexual ambiguous naked figures.

David
just like mommy always said, "use a pillow case, you never know how many sexually ambiguous figures are on your pillow"

Anyway, my new eighties music is as follows-

Push It - Salt-N-Peppa
Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
All Night Long - Lionel Richie
She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby
What I Like About You - The Romantics
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics
Walking On Sunshine - Katrina & The Waves
Straight Up - Paula Abdul
Call Me - Blondie

In maybe sixth grade, CeCe and Isabelle and I started an eighties cover band for about a day. 'Straight Up' and 'Girls Just Want to Have Fun' were our two songs. We rocked them, I think. I mean, of course we did.

Love always,
Clara

down the street

down the street, originally uploaded by csb324.

This is my walk in the morning. No joke. I love old cities at christmastime.

I did not do much of interest today. I'm catching up on about a thousand missed episodes of House and Gossip Girl, and I saw Avatar, which was an incredible movie.
Lots of laziness.

Last night was the embassy christmas party. There was really good food. This fact surprised no one.

Everything is sort of thrown into upheaval now. I don't mind it though. It's been snowing for the past few days, it's winter break, and family and friends are all en route. Things are simply not that bad.

While I was being lazy, I found this. Like I said, life is good.

Love always,
Clara

the highlight of my morning

I went to Starbucks this morning. I sat down with my triple grande sugar-free vanilla soy latte and brushed my hair, in my mom's words, "like a homeless person."
I checked facebook on my phone and read textsfromlastnight. iPhones are great for wasting time by yourself at Starbucks.
The Starbucks is generally pretty empty in the morning, which is weird but also nice because there's never any line.
Anyway, I finish my latte and realize that it's time to start walking to the tram. It's more efficient, I've found, to go out the back door of the starbucks.
And so I'm listening to The Postal Service or something and I walk straight into the door frame. In my defense, both the door and the wall that it is attached to are glass, so I just didn't see it. The one other Starbucks customer who was sitting in the corner reading his paper grinned at me. All I could do was grin back.

Honestly, I love it when that kind of thing happens. I always sort of halfheartedly complain about my embarrassingly dysfunctional moments, but I want you all to know that for the most part, the times that I 'do weird things in public' are times that I relate most to the rest of the world, which is a good feeling. When the guy with the newspaper smiled at me, we had a moment of acknowledgement that life in general is kind of funny and embarrassing and unpredictable.
Or that's how I interpreted it.
It's like, 90% of the time when I'm out in public, I'm doing my best to act as normal as possible, so as to not make a fool of myself or make a scene or anything else that is generally considered undesirable. And we're all doing it, putting on our quiet normal faces to walk around among strangers, because the strangers are quiet and normal. But at those moments when the disguise falls off for a second, there's this forced recognition that we're all in this same dysfunctional boat, and there's no denying it. I feel refreshingly honest when I'm being unusual/dysfunctional.
Walking into door frames is not something that one does dishonestly. If you walk into door frames dishonestly then you need to reevaluate your life.

This all reminds me of a Harlem Shakes song.

I'm sick of thee sheep, I'm sick of thou shepherd
Sick of dressing like a human when I'm feeling like a leopard

Love always,
Clara

george definitely supports the antichrist.

George: We just had a conversation in this classroom that led to Sourabh thinking I am a supporter of the antichrist.

The conversations that take place in the student lounge are always hilarious. They are never anything other than hilarious.
That's a lie. But you know what I mean.

Clemens: You know why people think Switzerland is such a neutral country? Because we're pussies.

Percy decided to take it upon himself to instruct the girls of the grade on how to treat a man. It was absolutely enlightening.

Percy: I'll tell you something. Here's how to be a good girlfriend-- do you know how to make a sandwich?

Love always,
Clara

woman cereal

I didn't know cereal had a gender.

Percy
I'm just going to make tee
brb
clara
kk
Percy
I made cereal as well
:D
clara
haha niiice
what kind?
Percy
The women one

I'm now on skype with David. So you know I'm cracking up over something.

David: At my last debate tournament, I went 2 and 2. Holla!
Clara: I know. I saw it on twitter.
David: You saw my twat. I know you did.

I always do.

David: I'm sitting in a very seductive pose, in hopes that the internet will stay on.
Clara: So this is how you're going to lure it back to you?
David: Yes.
[later]
David: I have to sit back. Seductive poses are uncomfortable. Maybe that's why they're seductive.

Maybe it is. I don't know all that much about seduction, to be perfectly honest.

David: So I said, "I guess slow drivers just get me all hot and bothered." It was awkward for everyone else. It wasn't awkward for me.
[later]
David: Are you blogging?
Me: Yeah.

David has a henna tattoo of a truck. I'd never seen one of those before. It looks pretty cool though.

David: I always get that mixed up with "Win a date with Tad Hamilton"
Me: I really... remember seeing that movie. I was going to say something about whether I really liked it or really hated it but I honestly have no idea. I just know that I've seen it.
David: I've definitely seen that movie six times.

I like how people feel the need to proclaim a strong opinion on certain things when they are mentioned. Like movies. Mention a movie in public. People will either say "That movie sucked" or "I LOVE THAT MOVIE." People never say "I feel apathetic about that." People will admit they haven't seen a movie... only sometimes.

David: So here's the short version. Dog humps niece, sister-in-law pushes dog, mom laughs ass off, David gets angry over pushed dog, no one cares about niece.

David just showed me a nerdy website that you potomac kids are apparently really enjoying. I like it.

Love always,
Clara

baby, it's cold outside

Seven Nation Army is becoming beast at Save Tonight. And we're going to be beast at Fast Car too.
I keep coming home at randomly late hours this week. Which means it's dark and freezing by the time I walk home from Hirchengraben (my tram stop).

I'm also never hungry when I get home. Probably because I've taken to eating more at lunch than I did in the fall. In the fall I would generally have an apple and a yogurt and a sugarfree redbull and some kind of chocolate. Now I have an apple and a ravioli cup and a sugarfree redbull (and I'm trying to break that chocolate habit, but sometimes... you just want chocolate). The ravioli cup is appealing because it is a thing to microwave, and also because it is ravioli.
The apple is for eating on the walk back from the grocery store. I'm always starving by the time 1:15 rolls around.

It's hard to wear cute clothes when it's cold out.
It's easier to do work though.
It's also easier to take naps.
Conflict!

Christmas music, frozen fingers, and two days left of school. Life is not so bad.

Love always,
Clara

things that are confusing but also cool

• Most people
• Dramatic life events
• After the dramatic life events, thinking, "Hm, how shall I deal with this in the media?" (the blog, of course, according to my inflated sense of self, is 'the media')
• The games that guys play in the student lounge
• Weird coincidences surrounding cold benches and things being one day off from a very cold two year cold bench anniversary
• Aksil's mad guitar skillz (skills is only spelled with a 'z' when preceded by the word 'mad' in Clara's world)
• The mood-elevating effects of christmas lights
• Music
  

Clemens: (sung) The light and the air, they had sexytime, twice
He was strumming a guitar at the time as well. Like I said, this kid is a supremely talented lyricist.

It is really cold out today. Like, 24ish (I just calculated into fahrenheit just for you guys who can't deal with the metric system). And of course today I have to wear my pants that are, according to my mother who definitely knows this better than I do, "a summer fabric."
Revelation: I do stupid things. Frequently.
Oh well.

Love always,
Clara

obviously.

Today I discovered that my whole life screams "AMERICAN." I learned this when I went to Loeb (the nicer of the grocery stores) this morning.

Loeb Guy: Auf wiedersehen (to someone else) ... Good morning (to me).

It was almost fascinating. I didn't even have to open my mouth and he immediately knew my german was not even halfway functional. I really want to know how he managed that.

The reason I was going to Loeb this morning is that I have managed to lose my wallet, and I figured I might as well check the last place I remember definitely having it. I went on a mini errand run yesterday, intending to drop off some film, but the camera store was closed so I went to Loeb and bought some IZZE juice (which they call MOJO juice here. But it's the same) and some yogurt.
My wallet wasn't there though.

When I was looking for it at home, I remembered that I'd put my yogurt in the refrigerator. It would not be unlike me to put two things down when I intend to put one thing down, so I checked the refrigerator.

Grace: What are you doing?
Me: Looking for my wallet.

Then I decided I probably wouldn't need my wallet to get to Mariam's house and back, because the people on the tram rarely check for a ticket (or, in my case, Libero card). So I went. And on the tram ride back, of course, right before my stop, a guy taps me on the shoulder and asks for my ticket/card.
Naturally.

Yesterday was a hell of a day and today is probably going to be a hell of a day as well. I can't say whether that will be a good thing or a bad thing just yet.

I can say that I never did find my wallet. I now have fifty euros that were left over from the Italy trip, and I'm going to trade them in for swiss francs at the bank today, and that should be okay until my parents get back from Copenhagen.

Love always,
Clara

junior retreat flashback moment

I just found this on my computer.
To those who were there- hehehehehe
To those who weren't- This is what my old school was like. That was a group of teachers who made up that story. We at ISB need to bond more over things like stripper names.


Also, jumping rope is fun, although I'm awful at it (because I'm awful at just about anything that requires physical coordination).
And for the record, I get about 20 individual visitors per day. I know that now that I use google analytics. Obsessing over statistics is fun.

It's snowing outside.

Love always,
Clara

it's christmastime!

I'm not a huge fan of religion.
However, I am a huge fan of Christmas.
Eggnog lattes, little lights, and christmas music, please. There are less than two weeks until my favorite holiday, so I'm getting pumped.

This is Clemens, in the student lounge, covered in Christmas lights that I bought at Coop the other day. He was our christmas tree for about two minutes. The lights now hang over the computers. It's very festive, and I'm a huge fan.

Sufjan Stevens has a song called "Come on! Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance!" and I think everyone needs to know about it. Also, Lady GaGa has an incredibly sexual christmas song called "Christmas Tree"

light me up, put me on top
let's fa la la la la la la la
the only place you'll want to be
is underneath my christmas tree

Um, whoa.

Love always,
Clara

soap tastes awful

Percy: What's that shit cheese you always eat? That smells bad?
George: Don't call it shit cheese.
Percy: It smells like shit.
George: Well, soap smells good, but it doesn't taste very good.
Percy and Sourabh: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHO EATS SOAP?
Me: Hahahahahahahahahahaha *dies*

These are the real conversations of the student lounge.

George: Quite frankly, I wonder where your manners are.
Clemens: I left them at home.

Love always,
Clara

hamlet sex joke

Did I mention David is in the market for a new citizenship? I assume it has nothing to do with a dislike of America and everything to do with some weird new form of rebelling against one's parents.
Sometimes, the normal forms of rebellion just won't do. And that's when you start searching "retardedly easy citizenship" on Google.
Literally.

David
i have almost decided on my second country
clara
what country?
country matters?
HAMLET SEX JOKE
okay continue
David
please blog that

So the other day, in German class, I had the hiccups. Aksil told me that if I took seven sips of water they would go away. Isn't it funny how every culture has a different hiccup-extermination method?
Anyway, I went into the bathroom to cup some water into my hands and drink it. But I decided I would try to combine Aksil's seven-sips method with my drinking-upside-down method, which, when you do not have a cup, requires you to hold water in your mouth while you bend over as far as you can, and then allow yourself to swallow it once you are (im)properly oriented.

I'm on 'sip' (they were more like mini gulps) number five when Shiraz walks into the very small bathroom to see me standing bent over with my cheeks puffed out. And she starts cracking up, and I start cracking up, but she really scared me at first because I didn't notice her right away.
Then my hiccups went away. It was either the seven sips (which I never finished), the upside-down drinking, or being surprised.
Probably the surprise. That's the first time I've been successful with that method, mostly because you can't ask someone to help you. And if they have the idea on their own, I can usually see it in their eyes.

Me: I have the hiccups! Damn it!
Person: Do you now? Hmmmmmmm.....
Me: OH GOD DON'T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC.

That's a hypothetical real conversation. I'm pretty sure it's happened at least once.

Speaking of being caught doing strange things...
I have become the crazy dancing girl of the Ostring 5 tram stop at Zytglogge.
You know how people tend to bounce around when they're cold? To produce body heat? And you know how when people are listening to music, their body movements tend to sync with the music? And you know how after a long day when you're standing on a street corner, sometimes you just want to dance?
Clara+headphones+cold weather=infamy. I'm sure of it.

Love always,
Clara

i'm on emotional cocaine

And I'm not afraid to admit it. The past week has been hell. Next week will also be hell. I am acknowledging this now, and then acknowledging that the week after next will be infinitely less hellish.
It's good to have plans.

It's also good to have music. Here's mine, as of five minutes ago:
Coffee - Motel Motel
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
Make it Mine - Jason Mraz
Gimme Sympathy - Metric
Help I'm Alive - Metric
Jo Jo's Jacket - Stephen Malkmus
How Far Do You Wanna Go? - Gloriana
Owl Eyes - Devendra Banhart
The Avalanche - Sufjan Stevens
Heard it All Before - Meiko
Reunion - Stars
Samson - Regina Spektor
Crawl - Chris Brown

An eclectic mix, to say the least.

Love always,
Clara

art class

This is what I did in art class today









Love always,
Clara

it's insane

Sam
we are visiting you real soon
clara
I KNOW
I AM SO EXCITED
it's insane
Sam
is it really?
clara
yes.
Sam
can the action of visiting really be as the oxford english dictionary writes, "in a state of mind that prevents normal perception, behavior, or social interaction"
clara
i think my life is in a state of mind that prevents normal behavior
so yes.

You would think that much would be clear to Sam by now. And here I thought he was intelligent.

Revelation of the day: It would suck to be a person with narcolepsy, but it's awesome and adorable in dogs.

Love always,
Clara

this is why i'm hot

David and I are discussing the Nordic oligarchy of Shmushmordica. I once belonged to that oligarchical royal family. Now I'm in exile, because of the revolution.

David: This little girl made a friend there. I think it was just a friend-fling, I don't think they were seriously about each other.
Me: Oh, I had a lot of those as a kid. I was a friend slut.
David: What a friend skank.

I really did have a lot of those. I remember meeting a girl with one arm on an airplane from Dulles to Paris (we went from Paris to Italy. I was eight). She was awesome, and bilingual, and we were going to keep in touch, but we didn't. I think I misspelled her screenname or something. I don't remember her name.
[Note: If you are, or if you know, a girl with one arm who is bilingual in english and french, who met a cool American girl on an airplane, let me know! I remember telling a story about a furbie, if that helps narrow down your list of bilingual-people-with-one-arm]

Me: ... so they thought I was a hooker. It was awkward.
David: You should put a sign on your back next time you dress like that that says "Closed"

Apparently, I once tried to tell Miley Cyrus on twitter that she had nice legs. I don't remember the context, but I can assume it was awkward.
Yikes.

Me: I always assume I won't like Miley Cyrus songs, and then I listen to them, and then I like them. I don't know we go through this every time, because the record shows that I generally like Miley Cyrus
David: Yeah, I was like "Oh another trashy Miley song... oh wait, I like trashy Miley songs".

Two theories- MIMS, of "This is why I'm Hot" fame, is either an idiot or smarter than all of us.
Evidence for theory 1: The lyrics of "This is why I'm Hot"

this is why i'm hot
this is why i'm hot
this is why
this is why
this is why i'm hot
i'm hot 'cause i'm fly
you ain't 'cause you not
this is why
this is why
this is why i'm hot

Evidence for theory 2:
THIS lyric- this is why i'm hot / i don't gotta rap / i could make a mil saying nothing on the track.
Don't you see? He's making fun of us! He knows exactly what he's doing, and he's mocking us for going along with it!
Therefore, there is hope for society. We are a mockery of ourselves. But we are delightfully self-aware! Isn't it great?

Me: My grandfather is an original G
David: You're not going to be able to make me understand that.

Love always,
Clara

gatsby, you just got analyzed. WHAT NOW?

I'm discussing college options (trying to narrow my list) with Dad.

Clara
also, I'm possibly dropping [college z] in favor of university of richmond. thoughts?
Dad
Good! even though your mother went there -- I think a better school, and much prettier.

I literally laughed aloud at this*. Like, "Just because your mother went there, that doesn't make it a bad school!"

I had something of a miniature nervous breakdown before English class, speaking of college stress and such.

Me: F**k this sh**. I have English class. I am going to analyze the sh** out of Gatsby! He won't even know what the f**k hit him! Bitches!

But I managed to talk about hookers twice in English today (once in reference to the word meretricious, once in explaining that Pygmalion liked the purity of his statue because the other women on the island were whores) , and briefly explain the allegory of the cave. That's all I ever wanted from this school- Prostitutes and Plato.
I can leave here happy.

Then I went to Müller (which is my CVS replacement, by the way) and bought lipstick and nail polish (both red) and hair conditioner.

*I'm currently realizing what a tragedy it is that we chose "laughing out loud" to abbreviate and not "laughing aloud". Imagine if all of our 7th grade AIM conversations were interspersed with 'la's all over the place!
That is a world I would like to live in.

Love always,
Clara

crowdsourcing my college applications

Hey there, blogworld. I have a favor to ask you.
I'm trying to fill out college supplements.
Unfortunately, as soon as they ask me a question about myself, I become the most boring person on the planet and cannot think of a vaguely interesting answer.
Want to help me remember what I'm like?

The questions I really need inspiration for (that I think y'all might be able to help with)
What are three important-but-not-immediately-obvious things about me?
Also, do I take risks? Ever?
Are there five words (probably adjectives, just saying) that describe me?

I don't know the answers to these questions!

I would laugh pretty hard if some college application reader found my blog and realized all of my essays were based on the comments on this post.

Please! Comment! Help me get into college!

In other news, I had a dream last night that I got deferred from mystery college x. I woke up feel like like "okay, at least I know now," and then realized that no, I didn't know, I had almost a week to be tortured by uncertainty!

I am definitely not losing my mind.

Love always,
Clara

'i got rejected because my application was sexually inappropriate'

• If I could take anyone in the world to lunch, it would be _______________.

This is a question from a college supplement I'm filling out right now.
My answer: Catullus.
What I want to write but won't: Catullus, because it would be sexy.

I have trouble taking college seriously these days. I've accepted the notion that I probably won't get into mystery college x, but applying to the other seven (or eight... I'm ashamed of myself. I really am trying to get rid of one though) seems like so much less of a big deal.

The headache won't go away. I'd really like to go to bed now. But I know I won't. I'll spend about an hour listening to music and reading Sex and the Ivy, and then I'll do my english homework, and then I'll take a shower. And then suddenly it'll be eleven and at that point I'll decide to go to sleep, and I'll get a solid eight hours, and it won't be enough.

Love always,
Clara

blog tags > embarassment

I'm currently sitting in bed, in sweatpants, with a cup of tea on one side and a box of tissues on my other. And I'm sucking on a Ricola. Do we have cranberry-flavored Ricolas in America? Because they're great.
Although not quite as effective as the original flavor (honey-lemon? I don't even know).

I slept in again today, because I'm sick and also because my first class (Theory of Knowledge, for the creepers) wasn't until 11. I had a presentation to do, so I had to get there.

I came into school and saw Mr. T, the crazy incredible art teacher. We were chatting, when Mr. L, my homeroom teacher, came up to me.

Mr L: Did you just come in?
Me: Yeah. I slept in. I'm sick.
Mr L: You look well enough to me!
Me: I know. I try really hard. But really, I'm sick.

A moment of uncensored honesty in the morning.

That day, the presentations were on euthanasia, capital punishment, and the 2012 predictions (mine). It was essentially 'Morbid Day'.
Except I gave mine some pizazz and enthusiasm. The first slide was a list of "facts" about the end of the world. I was very excited about these facts.
It probably had something to do with my cold. I tend to get really enthusiastic when I'm sick, because I just lose my filter and say literally anything.

I took myself to Starbucks after school- I've been craving hot tea. I had intended to stay a while and drink some tea and read The Great Gatsby (again), but it was crowded so I opted to take my tea home with me.
Which meant I had to walk around with it, and naturally at first it was too hot to drink. So it kept splashing out of the holes in the cap and burning my hands. I was crossing the street on one such occurrence, and so I did what any well-meaning-but-not-thinking-clearly person would do- I licked my hand.
And then I look in to the car I was passing and this middle aged man has the most confused expression on his face I have ever seen.
I just walked away. I mean, what else could I do?
The worst part though was that right after all of this transpired, I thought, "Well that's a 'Doing Weird Things In Public'".

Love always,
Clara

thoughts on flaws

You know what I really hate? Lying about myself. I really truly hate doing that. I feel like I'm cheating the world out of knowing me. Because I'm a narcissist.
But sometimes I feel compelled by insecurity or something, and I do it.

Generally when one lies about oneself, it's to hide flaws.
That's what I'm talking about right now.

Here's a fact I've never denied: I have copious flaws.
Some of them bother me, and some of them I'm almost proud of.

• I like Miley Cyrus. I really do. I like Miley Cyrus more than my fourteen year old sister likes Miley Cyrus (although, to be fair, she's still in that hard rock phase).
• I love chocolate. Like, too much. I'll go out of my way to eat chocolate. Or just sugar in general.
  
• As I mentioned, I'm a narcissist.
• And as I mentioned, I'm insecure. Contradictions!
  
• I'm naive. And I'm an optimist to the point of denial.
• I'm really pretentious. Like, I struggle to find respect for people who aren't up to my intellectual standards. I'm getting better at it though.
• I look for comfort in the wrong places.
• I can't bring myself to take things like grades seriously. I know I'm smart (see point #5), so what other people think of that doesn't bother me much.
  
• I either talk too much or not at all. I go from zero to annoyingly talkative in about twenty seconds.
• I'm indecisive. Otherwise known as 'fickle'.
  
• I have always hated sports. Really.
• I sort of hate people who take sports really seriously. Especially professional sports. Like, if someone is upset because they didn't play well, that's fine. If someone is upset because some team to which they have basically no connection didn't play well, then they need a life.
• I'm shy. Sometimes social interaction completely exhausts me.
  
• I waste a lot of time on blogs like these ones. And then I say "Oh, I have that book but I haven't read it yet- I don't have time to read." I do have time to read. I just don't.
  

I felt the need to get these out after blogging about good things about me. To balance everything out.
I think this list is more indicative of who I am than anything I said in the other post. Maybe we're defined by our flaws. Anyone can be smart or pretty or anything else, but the combination of our flaws is what makes us individuals.
I don't feel like I really know someone until I've begun to figure out their issues.
But that doesn't make me like them less.

Love always,
Clara

the child will definitely salivate.

Let's suppose that a child who has been conditioned to fear doctors now takes a tour of a science laboratory and sees someone in a white lab coat. What do you think would happen?

• The child will want a lab coat too
• The child will become afraid
• The child will salivate

The legitimacy of my psychology curriculum never fails to astound me.
The best part is that if you click a wrong answer, a little box comes up and explains to you why you're wrong. I clicked the third option, and the box said, "You are obsessed with Pavlov's experiments!"
Excuse me, I'm obsessed? Who wrote this online exercise anyway?

I'm sick. I've been popping cough drops like bubble wrap.
I'm not sure whether that last sentence made sense.

Love always,
Clara

victim of a confetti ambush, clearly

victim of a confetti ambush, clearly, originally uploaded by csb324.

Another photo from my onion market spree.
Confetti is so hot right now.

In other news, I'm listening to the greatest music ever.
I love new playlists that give you exactly what you want.

hoo hoo hoo

David's being a crazy wild child.

clara
stick it to the man
David
i know, i am a wild child
clara
crazy wild
David
next i will buy leather pants
clara
hahaha
David
i do not know what wild people do
but that sounds crazy enough to me

For some reason, the phrase "wild child" makes me think of Lindsay Lohan.

David
and dont worry, everyone has to abort a crush every once and awhile
...
i thought that was a good idea for a parody song
clara
what was?
David
crush abortion
maybe not haha
sample lyric:
"i aborted my feelings for you! hoo hoo hoo"
avril or mariah would sing it

The other day my mom literally said, "Clara, I read your blog. David is hilarious."
I was like, "Oh thanks mom. I'm glad you like my writing so much."

But... she's right.

Love always,
Clara

P.S. I'm trying out a new formatting for online conversations and this is it (indented, with the names bold). Just so you know why everything is weirdly capitalized. Real conversations in person remain the same.

I am kind of angry.

I can't give the full details on why I am angry, because I learned many years ago that blogging about one's personal life is generally a bad idea.
On the other hand, I need to write something about this, so I'm going to try to make it as general and non-specific as possible while still making my point.

Let's say this:
There was a guy. I liked this guy. He sometimes seemed to share the sentiment.
However, it turns out he didn't. That's fine. These things happen.
Here is the part that makes me mad: apparently, I was considered an 'option'. As in, he was fairly certain he could try something with me at whatever time he wanted and I would be more than happy to oblige. It was probably true.
But this makes me angry.

I'm not mad at him so much as I'm mad at myself. Guys think that way, and sometimes girls think that way, and it's sort of arrogant but everyone does it at some point.
But I completely went along with it.
I was so obvious and agreeable and all of that, with this ridiculous hope that he would stop fighting for the heart of this other girl, and take what was right in front of him. It was just a stupid mindset. Like I'm the bird in the hand and the other girl is the two in the bush.
When in reality, I'm two birds!
(On that note, I just watched The Notebook and loved it.)

My point is that I have been selling myself short, yet again, and I need to stop doing that. I need to stop thinking "Well she's gorgeous and wonderful but I'm right here" because that's a terrible mindset.
My best attribute is not my availability. It's who I am. I'm smart, and I think I have a nice sense of humor, and I have this enthusiasm for life that's unusual for a high school senior, and I think I'm pretty interesting (although there are people who might disagree, and screw them), and some guy at a bar last night told me I was pretty*. Clearly I have a lot more than willingness going for me, but I'd forgotten that, which led everyone else (i.e. this guy) to forget it too, or not even realize it, which is just ridiculous.

I'm not saying these things to be arrogant.
I'm saying them to remind myself.
And I'm blogging this so that you readers can harass me about it later.

So that's how I'm feeling right now.
And I know I've made this resolution before, but this time I mean it: I will epitomize dignity and standards.

Love always,
Clara

*And another guy just walked up to our table and handed me a piece of paper with his number on it. It was very smooth, quite flattering, and only slightly creepy. It's not like I was going to call (among other things, my German probably isn't good enough), but it's always kind of fun to know someone's interested.

lgb: more than a metaphor

I slept in this morning. What a wonderful feeling.
Then I had coffee with my mom.

Mom: When you have kids they're going to be just like you, and you'll come complaining to me, and I'll say "You were just like that," and you'll be like "I was not! I was so good!"
Me: Nah, I'm not going to say that. That just makes you look like a tool in front of your kids. You did that. Like "Oh Mom, I was always so helpful!" What a joke.
Mom: I was helpful. And then I would flip her off behind her back. But she never knew that! You just have to get it out.

Now I'm at school, trying to summon the motivation to do work (or at least to do something productive). It's not coming.

Percy and Clemens are starting a rap group called LGB which stands for Lyrical Gangbang. Classy, right?

(rapped)
Percy: We are, we are
Clemens: Lyrical Gangbang
Percy: It's not just a metaphor. It's something more

You can tell they're talented because "metaphor" and "more" kind of rhyme.

Love always,
Clara

armed and dangerous

armed and dangerous, originally uploaded by csb324.

I took this picture at onion market.
They were selling these things that looked like guns but were actually little confetti catapults. It was kind of brilliant, to be honest.

These kids started to ambush us. My first impulse, of course, was to take a picture of them. Because if there's one thing I'm not, it's creepy, right?

Love always,
Clara

let's be honest with ourselves.

Senior year sucks.
I remember last year, I was so excited to be a junior. I took the role (of being something of a role model but still not in charge) on with vigor. I wore it like a new pair of boots.

Senior year feels like a big sweater that you know makes you look bad, but you have to wear because it's cold and you really have no other options.

We work. And we apply to colleges. And then the colleges look at us and they judge us and they decide whether we're good enough for them when the real question should be- are they good enough for us?
My mom really only applied to one college. I think my dad applied to three.
Right now my list is around thirteen, but I know I'll be cutting that down to six. Although there's always that little tiny chance that mystery-college-x will decide I'm good enough and I won't have to think about it anymore.
It's ridiculous. I look at the early-decision acceptance rates for these various schools- they tend to be around 25%, right? I feel like a college is just going to split me into quadrants and take the top left. That would actually be my best case scenario, because I could keep my heart and my logical attributes.
Although I would miss my right brain too.
Hm.

Anyway, my point is that this whole process has an uncanny ability to undermine your self-esteem, even when you've told yourself a thousand times that it's all arbitrary and it doesn't matter and you'll be happy anywhere anyways.
What a giant downer, right?

Halima is also applying early to a selective U.S. college.
This is her plan: When we find out, if one of gets in, we'll party. And if both of us get in, we'll party doubly hard. And if neither of us get in... we'll drown our sorrows.
I like this plan.

Love always,
Clara

art history? never!

Professor B: So that's the intermediate value theorem. It's not exactly calculus, but you always hear it talked about with calculus, so it must be related. When's the last time you heard the intermediate value theorem mentioned in say, Art History? Never!

Math always makes me laugh. And then the kids in the student lounge give me sort of questioning looks and ask, "what are you doing on that laptop?" and I'm like "Math... hehehe"

Professor B: Here's a function. It's very smooth. No sharp corners. Children can play with this.

News! The a cappella group has seven members and a name. Seven Nation Army.
Is that cool or is that cool?
Our nations-

• America
• Algeria
• Canada
• Germany
• Italy
• Pakistan
  

So there really are only six nations, because two of the members are brother and sister. But that just means that we're still open to new members if other people want to join.
I'm excited about this.

Love always,
Clara

tomorrow is mariam's birthday

She's going to be eighteen, which is so unfair, because I would so much like to be eighteen, and she won't fully take advantage of her age.

A small bunch of us went to a toy store to buy her birthday present. And some chocolate. I bought myself some chocolate, because it was MOZART BALLS.

See, for those of you who were not on Madrigals trip in 08, Mozart Balls (which are actually called something else, for the record) are delicious chocolate things with hazelnut and praline and whatnot inside. I didn't know they were available outside of Salzburg, but they are.
And they're yummy.
And I have good associations with them, like hiding with Summer in Lily and Claire's room. I don't remember who we were hiding from, but I remember that we had Mozart Balls.
Summer and I had some pretty phenomenal conversations over that trip. About things like eggs and dropping things in showers and complete epic tales of our love lives.
Chorus brought that kind of thing out in us.

I haven't taken my headphones off in a couple hours. They're beginning to hurt a little bit. But I'm in such a musically-obsessed mood that I'm willing to make that sacrifice.

Love always,
Clara

mellow music

I just had an iTunes moment. I sure do love those.

Nobody Knows Me At All - The Weepies
Living in Twilight - The Weepies
Gotta Have You - The Weepies
Love and Some Verses - Iron & Wine
Nineteen* - Old 97's
Kick Drum Heart - The Avett Brothers
I and Love and You - The Avett Brothers
The Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit
Swim Until You Can't See Land - Frightened Rabbit
Something Good Can Work - Two Door Cinema Club
Gone Till November - Wyclef Jean
The Temptation of Adam - Josh Ritter

*That's the second song with that name that I've downloaded in the last three months. Weird, right?

Love always,
Clara

metaphors!

I'm trying to explain the idea of college supplements to Robert-The-Freshman.

clara
williams has one [supplement essay], but the question is like 'IMAGINE YOU'RE LOOKING OUT A WINDOW'
Robert
ugh
clara
oh my answer is very metaphorical and personal and relevant
it's like "when i look out the window i see mountains, but i'm not looking at the mountains, i'm looking at the horizon, the transition btwn mountain and sky, because transitions are most interesting, and WHOA switzerland is a transition and WHOA college is a transition and i'm EXCITED because... mountains."
Robert
...i c
clara
metaphors!

... Metaphors!

Love always,
Clara

world aids day

This afternoon everyone left school to go hand out ribbons and ask for money. I knew just about two useful german phrases: "Today is World AIDS Day" and "Would you like a ribbon?"
I could combine the two into a very convincing sales pitch.

"Today is World AIDS Day. Would you like a ribbon? Please? For World AIDS Day? AIDS? Ribbon? Would you like? People have AIDS! Would you like a ribbon?"

Imagine me standing on a street in Bern, saying all of this in German to very busy and slightly hostile passers-by.
It was super.

Then we (David and Shiraz and I) went into Starbucks and started asking for money there. That worked well for three reasons:

1. People at Starbucks have time on their hands (whereas it seems like everyone on the street has a tram to catch. They probably do.)
2. People at Starbucks have money (or what are they doing there?)
3. People at Starbucks are morally superior people.

They wouldn't even let us loiter at McDonalds, but the woman at Starbucks was saying yes before David even finished asking permission.
Also, we developed targets:

1. Families, because they tend to want to teach their children the virtues of charity
2. Young couples, because the boyfriends often try to impress the girlfriends
3. Middle school aged boys, because (for reasons completely unknown) they're especially receptive to our requests.
   

Anyway, everyone should think a little bit about AIDS today and maybe also donate some money. And next time you see people asking for money for a charity on the street, give them something. We really don't care what. We just want to feel less-hated.

Love always,
Clara

the little hand-raising demon.

I'm in the computer lab right now, working on yearbook. It's hard to work on yearbook with essentially zero pictures, but that's okay. Somehow I'm managing.
There's a class going on in here though, a sixth grade technology class. I remember being in sixth grade, and being in a technology class, but I don't remember being this small.

Anyway, this just happened-

Mr K: Your hand is up. Do you have a question?
Kid: No...
Mr K: Well then put your hand down! You're interrupting my lesson!
(apparently, the kid smiles)
Mr K: Is this amusing to you? Is it funny? It makes you feel really powerful, doesn't it! Do you feel good now, knowing that you can disrupt my whole lesson just by raising your hand? You need to start thinking very seriously about your behavior!

I sort of giggled in the back of the room when this was going on, and then I realized the teacher was one hundred percent serious.
Yikes.

Love always,
Clara