this is why i'm hot

David and I are discussing the Nordic oligarchy of Shmushmordica. I once belonged to that oligarchical royal family. Now I'm in exile, because of the revolution.

David: This little girl made a friend there. I think it was just a friend-fling, I don't think they were seriously about each other.
Me: Oh, I had a lot of those as a kid. I was a friend slut.
David: What a friend skank.

I really did have a lot of those. I remember meeting a girl with one arm on an airplane from Dulles to Paris (we went from Paris to Italy. I was eight). She was awesome, and bilingual, and we were going to keep in touch, but we didn't. I think I misspelled her screenname or something. I don't remember her name.
[Note: If you are, or if you know, a girl with one arm who is bilingual in english and french, who met a cool American girl on an airplane, let me know! I remember telling a story about a furbie, if that helps narrow down your list of bilingual-people-with-one-arm]

Me: ... so they thought I was a hooker. It was awkward.
David: You should put a sign on your back next time you dress like that that says "Closed"

Apparently, I once tried to tell Miley Cyrus on twitter that she had nice legs. I don't remember the context, but I can assume it was awkward.
Yikes.

Me: I always assume I won't like Miley Cyrus songs, and then I listen to them, and then I like them. I don't know we go through this every time, because the record shows that I generally like Miley Cyrus
David: Yeah, I was like "Oh another trashy Miley song... oh wait, I like trashy Miley songs".

Two theories- MIMS, of "This is why I'm Hot" fame, is either an idiot or smarter than all of us.
Evidence for theory 1: The lyrics of "This is why I'm Hot"

this is why i'm hot
this is why i'm hot
this is why
this is why
this is why i'm hot
i'm hot 'cause i'm fly
you ain't 'cause you not
this is why
this is why
this is why i'm hot

Evidence for theory 2:
THIS lyric- this is why i'm hot / i don't gotta rap / i could make a mil saying nothing on the track.
Don't you see? He's making fun of us! He knows exactly what he's doing, and he's mocking us for going along with it!
Therefore, there is hope for society. We are a mockery of ourselves. But we are delightfully self-aware! Isn't it great?

Me: My grandfather is an original G
David: You're not going to be able to make me understand that.

Love always,
Clara