Another bad mood, another bout of insomnia

The usual.

Things I hate:

• Fourteen year old flat chested bitches who make life hell for awkward people
• When Chili bites me when I try to take something from him
• Stupid IB essays that make no sense for me to write because they are irrelevant to my education
• The fact that there are no randomly intellectual conversations here
• Having everyone stare at me at the train station. I do not understand why they do this, but they do. Maybe I'm just insane.
• When the parents don't listen to me, and then get all offended when they do.
• Not being able to sleep
• Missing camp and those friends
• The fact that home people are going on senior trip and I'm not
• Still not being good at guitar, and not being able to play in the student lounge, because Julien and Aksil are actually good and I can't compete with them
• Being in the wrong German classes
• Not speaking a language other than English
• People who take student council way too seriously and get really concerned about things like swearing on the facebook group when it is SO COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO THE PURPOSE OF STUDENT COUNCIL.
• Missing everyone at home, and the weird complicated interactions that I was used to having on a daily basis that simply don't happen here. Like, nobody here gets excited about Plato's cave allegory or fields of buttercups or issues of school politics or anything half-interesting. No one wants to go to the Lee St. Park with me to get excited about Coleridge.

I miss home like crazy.

It really isn't that bad here.

But I can't even go into my own goddamn kitchen for a snack. There are always people around and I can't be in a bad mood in front of them, because I want to prove that we're not just spoiled Americans who don't appreciate the awesomeness of living here.

And we always eat with such nice f-ing silverware and I hate it all.

I wish I were going on senior trip. In my head senior trip is like junior retreat, but better. Actually, here's a formal request: Can everyone try to avoid telling me how much they loved senior trip? Because I really don't want to hear it.

Although isabella, there is a letter from March 2009 Clara on the back of your March 2009 Isabella letter, and I do want you do remind me what that said, because I really don't remember.

You know what this school needs? It needs a protest. Today I wore this black dress that I wore during the whole protest situation last february (the one that makes me feel like a secret agent) because I was angry (at the aforementioned freshman girls).

It got me thinking.

We were so much more united as a grade after that protest, after we'd asserted our group identity. Junior retreat showed that, I think. We were all so chill at that point. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that we'd proved to each other that we had each other's backs. If one person was in trouble, the rest of us would step up and do something about it.

I don't get that feeling here. But I think all we need is a good controversy, and then, a good protest.

Love always,
Clara