The last few days have inspired within me an identity crisis, and I'm taking it out on the blog. I'm sorry. It's getting a little hectic over here and I acknowledge that.
I've been spending a lot of time reading other people's blogs, and wondering whether I should adopt any of their practices. Some of them have weekly features, but I'm too much of a flake for that kind of consistency. Others have some kind of project or mission at their center, but Love Always, Clara has been around for two and a half years now, so adding some kind of specific central focus this late in the game seems like a waste of time, and in any case, I haven't the slightest idea what that might be.
A surprising number are fashion blogs. Maybe I just don't get fashion, but this trend totally bewilders me. I am one hundred percent certain that no one cares what I wear every day. No one wakes up in the morning and thinks, "I wonder what Clara is wearing?" I don't think. That would actually be somewhat disconcerting.
So I have a lot of ideas about what this blog doesn't need to be, or doesn't need to do, but I'm at a loss as to what exactly I want to make of it (and, once again, the my feelings about the blog mirror my feelings about life. Things would be a lot nicer if I had any clue where I was going). I'm afraid to try to commit myself to anything at this point anyway, because it's more than likely that I'll lose my focus within a week and the whole affair will just be another drop in the bucket of disorganized mini-projects that has been the last few (read: 18) years.
Apparently that's an Aries trait, by the way. I like blaming my flaws on astrology.
What made me think of this was that I'm thinking of putting up a page with a list of goals. I already have a list of goals, but it could be fun if I made it public and chronicled my progress. If I make progress. Which I might not. Which is exactly the fear that's making me hesitate.
Clearly I could think myself in circles about this all day. I'm thinking I won't. I'm thinking I'll just type that up now, and see where it goes. If it goes nowhere, you're entitled to judge me I suppose, but I hope you won't.
Clara
2 comments:
haha.. i'm an aries too.. and i am definitely guilty having too many fleeting interests that result unfinished projects!
a tip on the list of goals.. give yourself some credit and talk about some you've already crossed off :)
nah, it's not cheating.. just because you accomplished something awesome before you started documenting your awesomeness, doesn't mean it didn't happen!
I agree with my previous speaker. Maybe you have to get something which is consistent so that the questions about the future don't take over everything. I always try to stick to something which I can rely on, then it's somewhat easier. Oh, and making plans is also a great thing to distract from unconvenient thoughts. Speaking from experience.
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