Plus, he said you can't eat shellfish

I swear, is this girl me in ten years?

And another relevant question: am I a total stalker?

I guess that's the point...

I still don’t believe in the traditional judeo-christian anthropomorphic “guy with a beard” God.  But I believe in something.  I believe we’re not alone, and I believe this world isn’t random.  I believe in karma, and I believe in love - not the romantic, dopamine filled drug-like Valentine’s Day love, but the eternal, unconditional love that surrounds all of us.

via Julia Allison

a.k.a. my role model

This is a thing I have been grappling with recently (what, me grapple?)

A friend of mine asked me the other day, "Why don't you just admit you're an atheist?"

"Because I'm not, but I don't believe in god" didn't exactly sound like a bulletproof answer.

Here's the deal:

You know how most normal kids get bedtime stories? My dad told me stuff about science. I'm not joking. (I know. It explains a lot about why I am the way I am). So I had that background from a young age. Like, really young. Four? Five? Yeah.

I used to go to church with my parents. That kind of ended when Grace started getting more disruptive than socially acceptable. But I also became vehemently opposed to the idea. I'd heard enough and it all sounded like madness to me, and secretly I thought it was creepy how all the adults knew all the words. Like weird drone-robots took over when they were reading the creeds and prayers. It freaked me out. I didn't like the focus on god either. I was like, ten, and I was thinking "hey, why are we saying HE's so great? I'M great. WE'RE great. He doesn't do ANYTHING" 

And then I found out that sometimes people died for this stuff and it totally turned me off.

At the same time, a friend of mine was making the discovery that the gods we were studying in school (Norse, Greek, etc [she was a mythology fanatic in like, first grade]) were actually RELIGIONS back in the day. So she was asking "why is theirs fiction and ours real?" and coming to the conclusion "They must all be real!" which quickly turned into "They must all be fake!"

We were two incredibly enlightened fifth graders.

So I was a semi-militant atheist for a little while, but quickly adapted that to secular humanism after taking several online quizzes. And it fit better; atheism didn't suit me. I'm an optimist. And I've been calling it secular humanism since then, whatever it is I believe, but I'm not sure it fits.

Here's what I think. See if you can find a name for it:

I think that people are mostly good. I think that good things happen. I think that particularly if you have a good attitude (yes cliche I know) good things happen. And there is fate, but also free will, although I'm not exactly sure how that works itself out. I believe in love, and I actually legitimately love just about everybody I know. People are fantastic.

The universe is a good place, populated by good things and good people.

It's all good.

That doesn't necessarily mean there's a god pulling the strings. That just doesn't make any sense to me. And I know people say "Oh, of course it doesn't make sense, that's why you have faith" but honestly, that idea makes even less sense to me.

I haven't found a religion that suits me yet. Maybe I will. Maybe I'll start one. I'm good at making up thought experiments, and in my personal opinion that's really the most helpful part of religion, the new perspectives, so maybe I've got a career laid out for me.

But I'm thinking I might bring this post up in Breakfast Club.

Love always,
Clara