oh SNAP

I was on hypem the other day and look what I saw:

Oh, hello, Oh Land. Daughter of a Great Dane. Opener for Mates of State at the Met in Pawtucket. Nice to see you there, at number eleven on the popular charts on hypem.

So glad you're doing well.

Now where's that picture of us together (with John)?

Oh yes, there it is.

Dear music: I win.

Love always,

Clara

music to end the year

I do this thing where for each year, I have a playlist entitled "chronology" with essentially every song I downloaded and/or acquired that year, in exactly that order.

The songs that I just downloaded will probably be the top of the "chronology 2010" playlist. And then I'll have to make "chronology 2011".

Weird.

Anyway, here they are. Many thanks to John and the wonders of hypem.

We Own the Sky - M83

Helsinki Art Scene - Satellite Stories

Civilian - Wye Oak

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

Heart it Races (Architecture in Helsinki cover) - Dr. Dog

All Yr Songs - Diamond Rings

Heartbeats (The Knife cover) - Jose Gonzalez

Love always,
Clara

bowling once more!

The swiss kids dragged themselves out of their study caves long enough to come bowling. Hooray!

Thomas: I studied this morning! I did an essay plan about the Russian revolution. I hate the Russians. The thing about the peasants, is that they think it's all about them.

I hadn't realized the Russian peasants were so full of themselves.

Thomas: These people would try to come in, and they would say "We're going to help you!" and the peasants would stab them with poles! They'd say "No! You're educated!"

The bowling itself went well. Nyah dominated, and Oren rocked it. Chris wasn't playing because his shoulder has some kind of problem, but he took shots for people here and there and had a pretty good record. I played the way I play most sports - not well. Anine was the best though. We may have had to remind her that the pins were that way.

Love always,

Clara

december has been a bad blogging month for me

I so apologize. I'll blog twice today, because last night we watched Eclipse and I had a lot to say about it and then I got tired and went to bed instead of releasing my thoughts to the internet.

I have to say, I find both the male leads in that movie remarkably attractive. The thought occurred to all of us, more than once, that it was downright unfair that Bella should have two such fine specimens of the male form both head over heels in love with her.

Can we talk for a second about how Bella has basically no attractive/interesting qualities?

Amanda: Maybe I should start speaking in a monotone and tripping over things.

Me: I trip over things all the time! It doesn't help!

Seriously, she spends the entire movie blinking at people. She has one expression, and it is blankness.

Bella: [looks blank] I'm so glad you're safe.

... later...

Bella: [looks blank] I never wanted to hurt you.

... later...

Bella: [looks blank] I punched a werewolf.

I actually wish I were joking about that.

It's as if she's trying to be mysterious, except she has basically nothing to hide. There is no actual mystery. She's just boring.

So that bothered me. Also, the mormon undertones were out in full force in this installment. Edward has a long speech about how, while his soul is already a lost cause, he would never risk Bella's soul by sleeping with her. Because, obviously, sleeping with someone steals their soul. Just like making someone a vampire steals their soul. Vampires and non-virgins are basically the same thing, right?

Yeah. Thought so.

That bit was awkward mostly because we were watching with a couple little boys around the age of ten (we'd told them it was kind of an action movie). And their mother. She had been hoping the whole bit would go over their heads, but then we hear the older one ask, "MOM, WHAT'S A VIRGIN?"

Too funny. Anyway, Twilight continues to be a waste of time, except that Jacob is super hot, and Edward has this twisted romantic side at which I cannot help but swoon. Fifteen was the perfect age to read those books.

Love always,

Clara

merry christmas!

I hope you enjoyed that last brief post. I enjoyed it.

Merry christmas everyone, for real. My holiday was lovely. I've discovered yet again that it is when I get tired of people that I come out and act like myself.

I'm trying to think of a better way to phrase that but nothing comes to mind.

As I've said before, I really do love my family. Really.

But when my cousins are talking about the details of their respective fourth grade little league careers with my uncle, at a certain point I can't not make fun of them. It's just too easy, and I can only hold back for so long.

We had to cook today. Only the womenfolk. I think the logic of this, on the surface, was that we were the ones who knew how to cook, and the men would be useless. I pointed out later that if we were really electing chefs by that standard, then mom and I should have stayed the hell out.

I think the relatives are trying to domesticate us.

I, for one, will not stand for that.

The problem is, I can't see myself being much of a breadwinner, but I am most certainly not housewife material. I am curious to discover my role in my own family when I find someone willing to marry me.

I sure hope he can cook.

Love always,

Clara

happy holidays

I am so drunk on the christmas spirit and family and probably mostly it was the champagne.

That's okay.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, GUYS!

Love always,

Clara

i would not date my cousins, and that's okay

I went skiing today for the first time in way too long. And somehow I did not fall but once, when trying to stand on a flat surface. You know how hard that can be.

The drive to the mountain was interesting at best. My wonderful cousin Ian was talking about how his girlfriend's roommate had bought Christmas presents for her own boyfriend, but then they broke up, so Ian might be getting some Brooks Brothers shirts out of it. He was excited.

Shortly thereafter, my aunt Gail was telling me (for at least the fifth time in the last few days) about her son's friend who plays soccer at Providence College, whom she thinks I should meet, although he is, as she puts it, a "bad boy, very naughty."

Me: I mean honestly, he doesn't sound like my type. I don't tend to go for athletes.

Someone: Is that so? What is your type?

Me: Well, I don't tend to go for guys who get excited about Brooks Brothers either.

Suddenly everyone in the car was very offended and I can't quite place why. It's not like dating my cousin Ian was even on the table to begin with. I mean, please. If my mother had her way I'd be married to one of the stepcousins but they're very seriously not my type, and also they're my stepcousins, so while it's genetically alright... ew.

Anyway, then Gail said "Well maybe snobby girls aren't his type."

Excuse me?

Having preferences is snobby now?

I'm sorry that, given the option, I probably wouldn't jump at an opportunity to date guys like her sons. Her sons are great. I love all of my cousins dearly. But they're just not my type, and they wouldn't be, even if we weren't blood relatives (this is such a weird train of thought).

I'm not sure that this is a snobby thing. I'm almost thinking, actually, that it's terribly antifeminist to say so. Am I supposed to be just lying here waiting for someone to fancy me? I'd like to have a choice in these matters.

Although, maybe I was misunderstood. Maybe everyone thought I meant Brooks Brothers was passe, and I would only consider dating someone who wore exclusively Vineyard Vines.

(Is that even a better thing? Can they be compared? Let this be evidence as to how little I know about preppy menswear lines, and how proportionally little time I spend thinking about these things, with the exception of right now.)

It was all very strange.

Love always,

Clara

sleep

I just had a dream that I was at a party, and everyone was being covered in neon spray paint, and then a group of belligerent bagpipists came in saying they had the room reserved, and they forcibly read us their business statement, and one tried to take my phone.

Why was I dreaming at five PM, you might ask?

Because my sleep cycles are fucked up beyond repair.

I was up until five in the morning last night. I almost shot myself. I should have fallen asleep quickly. I'd had a fairly active day, and I was at the very least tipsy by the time I got in from town. It should have been easy.

But no.

Insomnia is the worst. It turns you into a crazy person. And then it forces you to skip skiing, and sleep all day, and miss out on everything, and lose your mind because now, having woken up from an ill-advised nap, I know the exact same thing is going to happen tonight.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Love always,

Clara

don't insult my sleeping habits

Me: I'm either a friendly drunk or a belligerent drunk.

Sonny: I'm right in between. I sit there and die. I like it!

Sonny is one of the new members of the international school gang. I have to say I'm somewhat obsessed with him. Is that weird?

I don't think it's weird.

I was hanging out with some of these kids this afternoon. I was taking a nap, because my sleep cycles are completely out of whack (my attempts to reset my internal clock by fasting failed when I remembered how much I like food), and Chris calls me, and basically here is our conversation--

Chris: Who am I speaking to?

Me: Clara?

Chris: Your voice sounds different.

Me: You woke me up.

Chris: Why were you napping? You can sleep in! I had to wake up early this morning!

Me: Did you call me to insult my sleeping habits?

It was rather rude of him. But I ended up dragging myself out of bed because that's generally a good thing to do, and wandering around town with the bunch of them. It was a good time. We went to the metal store (music, not alloys and whatnot) and I made fun of the band names.

Me: Anthrax... that sounds fun. Ion Dissonance... I feel like I might have learned about that in AP Chem or something... Did you know that every single t shirt in this store is black?

It really does entertain me to point these things out.

Later my class got together for dinner. It was pretty chill. We had Thai food. Percy wasn't wild about that idea for whatever reason, but we made him deal with it.

Steve: Mehdi, I thought you weren't hungry.

Mehdi: (looks at his clean plate) It just feels like a waste not to eat it! There are starving kids in Africa.

Steve: I've never liked that argument.

Me: Yeah me neither. I mean, if I could take my extra food and put it in a box and send it to Africa, maybe I'd do that instead? But eating it doesn't help anyone.

Mehdi: I'm just saying, if a starving African kid saw all this food, he'd be pretty happy.

Percy: No! He wouldn't! He'd say we don't eat Asian food!

I didn't realize starving Africans were so particular. Percy did grow up in that sort of environment though, so I guess I'll have to trust him on that.

Nota bene: If you're donating food to Africa, don't send sushi.

Love always,

Clara

i'm home again

I slept basically all day.

Also I played scrabble with my mom and my sister.

I'd forgotten how positively riveting things are over here in Switzerland.

Oh wait, no I didn't.

Last night I did go out though. That was fun. I saw a bunch of people from my grade, abunch of people I didn't in fact know, and the requisite current seniors.

It's too funny that they're no longer the grade 11s. I have thought every year though. It's still hard for me to believe that the Potomac seniors have made it past seventh grade.

At this point I've decided that watching every single episode of Gilmore Girls is a good way to spend my time. I'm also trying to convert the kids over here to the religion of robot unicorns.

Love always,

Clara

goodbye brown, for now

I didn't expect last night to be as interesting as it was. Life has yet again proven me wrong. I love it when that happens.

Eleni, if you read this, I know who sent you that text last night. I'm not sure if I want to spill the secret though.

I've been packing this morning. It didn't take as long as I feared it might, which is nice, although now I'm not totally sure what to do with myself.

Probably clean. That's probably what I should do with myself.

But cleaning is not a fun thing to do.

The sooner it gets to five, the more I realize I don't want to leave. College is the best thing ever. And I am of the opinion that Brown is basically the perfect place for me. Every once in a while, I sort of wake up from my life and think, "Wow, I go to Brown, and this place is awesome."

(These small realizations have always come occasionally. First it was, "Oh, wow, I'm in high school," then, "Wow, I can drive, and this is a normal thing!" and then "Um wow, I live in Switzerland now. Wild!" Now I am periodically shocked that I in fact did make it to college, and a phenomenal one at that, and I'm loving it here.)

Anyway, I have things to do. I'm off to do them.

Next time you hear from me, I'll be in der Schweiz.

Love always,

Clara

the night is young

And yet there are already some fantastic quotes.

John: My knees are like ice... it is nice... I should think twice... before getting lice?

Me: Good song.

John: Oh yes, oh yes. Top 40.

Lucas: I need a picture of your aunt. In her underwear.

Me: I'm not sure I can provide that.

Also, for the record, it is super cold outside. Super super cold.

Love always,

Clara

threaded

Mary-Evelyn started a facebook thread of musical recommendations. It's the second best thing that's happened to me all week. I've downloaded all kinds of new music.

Lately - The Helio Sequence

Shadows - Au Revoir Simone

Who Knows Who Cares - Local Natives

Wide Eyes - Local Natives

Punching In a Dream - The Naked & Famous

Pa Pa Power - Dead Man's Bones

Schizophrenia - Jukebox the Ghost

It's Thunder and It's Lightning - We Were Promised Jetpacks

Hoorah.

Speaking of wonderful things, I finished my econ exam. Which was my last exam. My first semester of college is officially done. Hoooray!

I'm actually not entirely sure how to feel about that. I'm one-eighth done with college. That's not okay with me, honestly. I'd like more time thanks, because college is great. This semester has been awesome and I'm still not sure how much I want to go home.

That said, fondue.

Skiing.

Christmas.

Eating meat without guilt.

My own shower.

There are, in fact, reasons to want to go home.

Love always,

Clara

i enjoy economics

I have an economics exam tomorrow. It's the last one, so I keep reminding myself that in twenty four hours I'll be done with first semester, and, hopefully, drunk.

That will be a good thing after this week. Last weekend I was mostly either studying for my linguistics exam or feeling like I should be studying for my philosophy exam, so an opportunity for some good old fashioned college stress relief was forgone.

That will be fixed by drinking on a wednesday. In celebration, of course. It's a totally okay thing to do.

Anyway, I just spent three hours in Andrew and Teddy's room studying. We managed to get off topic more often than not.

Me: So MV equals PY. We need a mnemonic. Mars Venus Pluto...

Andrew: Your-anus?

Me: Cool. So Mars, Venus, Penis.... crap.

Andrew: We could just make it Mars Venus, Your Penis.

Me: That works well.

It turns out though, in the quantity equation, the price (P) is actually the GDP Deflator (which is nominal GDP over real GDP)

Andrew: How are we going to remember that?

Me: Your penis is deflated.

Andrew: ... economics does deflate my penis.

This was far more innuendo than you expected to find in my recounting of studying for economics, isn't it?

We've also established that there was consumer surplus of at least thirty cents when Andrew bought a song about communism, ironically, on itunes, and to answer questions such as "What is money?" it would probably be most productive to walk into the exam high and write a long rambling monologue on why we should all just not value money, man, and communes are like, totally great.

Billy came in at some point and started insulting transgendered people. I don't think he was doing it on purpose exactly, but we being politically correct Brown kids felt the desire to chastise him for this.

Me: Billy, we were having a perfectly nice conversation before you came in.

Teddy: Yeah, about having sex with Hooters girls in an alley.

Me: It really wouldn't work in the winter, we've decided.

Reasons I prefer hanging out with guys: #9204

Love always,
Clara

it's a pig!

It's a pig! It's a housebreaker pig!

Actually it's a mouse. But I've decided mice look kind of like little tiny pigs.

Compare:

Go ahead and try to tell me I'm wrong.

Anyway, last night apparently there was a mouse in our room. I didn't see it, but I got a text from Genevieve.

Genevieve

Holy FUCK there's a mouse in our room.

That was also my reaction. When I got back to the room she explained the situation to me; apparently she'd seen it, but it ran behind my dresser and then she moved the dresser and then it was not there, and no one else was freaking out except her. I said that if I had been there I would also have been freaking out.

It's not like our room is an especially mouse-friendly place. We keep it relatively clean. There are no open foodstuffs. It's generally more or less presentable. A mouse was entirely unexpected, and, frankly, unwelcome.

So I decided it was necessary to try to lure this mouse out of the room. I had some left over jam, and I am under the impression that all mammals like jam, so I put the open jar of jam in the hallway and we left our door open last night. Hopefully it worked, but no one can say for sure can we?

Anyway, this all leads me to the following absolutely real conversation.

Nick: Clara! There was a mouse in your room!

Me: I know! It's horrible.

Nick: So, Clara... is catching mice your jam?

Me: ..... Wow. That was a good joke.

It all reminds me of every single time I've tried to write a joke. A super long and overly complicated build up, for a silly pun punchline.

But this was real.

Love always,

Clara

belligerence

Last night I was in a belligerent mood. Andrew was dutifully making recordings.

Chris: Perkins looks nice.

Me: FUCK PERKINS.

I had all of this recounted to me tonight at dinner. I really need to hear these recordings though. I remember saying these things, but they all made perfect sense at the time. I get the feeling that if I heard them now, it would be at the very least entertaining.

We're in the midst of finals. It's crazy. Yesterday I had my linguistics final, which I didn't think was too bad, and tomorrow I've got philosophy, for which I am supposed to be studying right now.

That's going well, clearly.

At this point, I'm excited to be done, but I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself at home for six weeks. Six weeks is a long time. There will be christmas, and then new years, and then... another three weeks of self-determined free time?

That sounds great. Living with the fam, not so much. (No offense, guys.)

Love always,

Clara

study break

Let me tell you what I did last night, and why I did not blog.

Today, my final essay for MCM was due. Thankfully, MCM is the only class for which the final assignment wasn't also the most important assignment. This was just a short paper, and of course it's a pass/fail class, so I wasn't too stressed about it, but I did in fact need to get it done.

Around nine, my attention span was waning, and by that I mean completely missing in action, so I decided to take a study break and see how things were going down the hall.

My theory on study breaks is that you come back happier, and when you're happy you can also be productive. Hence, study breaks are a good thing and should be utilized freely.

So I went to bother Andrew, who was writing a paper. We started talking about religion, and John and Scott showed up and started playing darts, and I felt personally responsible for derailing Andrew from his work, but I also felt that this was a good thing.

Then we watched a couple episodes of Rome. This is what the Jameson kids have been up to of late, and I find it incredibly entertaining. The Romans have some very quotable moments.

"Take the money!"

-Vorenus

The thing about watching Rome is that it's an HBO show. So there are hot sex scenes, there are decidedly non-hot sex scenes, and they have no qualms about showing battles and stabbings and suicides in all of their graphic glory. I'm impressed by their dedication.

(Also, brief shout-out to Octavia and Agrippa. They are too cute.)

It's a hell of a show. Thankfully I've only seen the second season, so when we inevitably run out of episodes, I can watch season one over winter break.

I've got big plans for winter break.

"Over the course of our marriage, I may beat you, either with my hand or a light whip. Do not be upset. I do not wish you to think that you have offended me. I do it only because it brings me great sexual pleasure"

-Octavian Caesar

So then we heard that the naked donut run was rumored to be occurring at 1AM last night. Being a group of people who like both donuts and naked people, we brought our diligently studious selves over to the Rock.

Half an hour later, no donuts, but I think I might understand the short-run aggregate supply curve a little bit better now.

It became established that we were still hungry, so clearly a Jo's run was in order. I was in the mood for some onion rings.

While acquiring ketchup, it turns out, I had run into someone who might consider himself an old friend. By "old friend," I mean "bizarre acquaintance from the first week of school who comes by my room every once in a while at two in the morning when I'm not there." We said hello. And he came to my room again last night. And I was not there.

"I would rather die than bring you pain!"

-Marcus Agrippa

Back in Keeney, it occurred to me that the cold makes me somewhat delirious. Stefan tried to convince me to take off my shirt for nine saltines and a dollar.

Wait, let me correct that.

Stefan tried to convince me to take off my shirt for nine saltines or a dollar.

For the record, my price is far higher than that.

Sooner than I expected, it was three in the morning.

So now I'm wondering, how the hell did my study break last six hours?

Luckily, I was in a good mood and therefore super productive this morning. All's well that ends well, right?

Finals period is going to be very interesting.

Love always,

Clara

i see a tiny light

I am such a fan of music. I was talking to my mom a while ago and I was telling her about some concert or another and she said, "Wow, you're really getting into music, aren't you?"

I was like, "Um... have we met?"

It was appalling.

Speaking of, I went on an iTunes binge last night.

Tiny Light - Grace Potter & the Nocturnals

Make You Happy - Josh Pyke

Demons - Guster

Mykonos - Fleet Foxes

The Twist - Frightened Rabbit

I'm Coming Home - Wild Sweet Orange

Love is Going to Destroy Me - Mansions on the Moon

She Makes Me Feel - Mansions on the Moon

Space to Breath - Mansions on the Moon

Morning Glory - Katie Gavin

Whip My Hair - Katie Gavin

I am such a fan of all of these songs. I'd forgotten that Quintessence had 'Demons' in their repertoire until I heard it on someone's computer last weekend, and it had been stuck in my head since then. I hate to say I like their version better than the original, but it says good things about my high school's a cappella talents, so rock on for that.

Love always,

Clara

this chick is super cool

This is a cover of "Whip My Hair" and you should watch it.

I found it on Jezebel, which is where I find a lot of things.

The thing about Jezebel is that it's an incredibly politically correct place. Moreso than Brown, I would venture, and that's a big deal. So I read the comments on this particular post, and they're all mostly concerned with the possibility that this is emblematic of some larger cultural tendency to "whiten" things and display them and say "look how much better that is!" and it's all very racist indeed.

I have two thoughts on this:

1. People ought not be racist. And there definitely is a tendency to make "whiter" versions of songs by black people. And maybe that does say something about society, but the people involved aren't to blame necessarily. This girl didn't wake up and say "Hey, I could improve this Willow Smith song by making it sound white," she woke up and said "I like that song. I've got a voice that kills. I should do a cover."

Maybe she didn't say exactly that. I don't know. I don't think it's overall making things homogenous, I think it's having a different creative interpretation, and it's easy to strip a complicated song down to guitar chords and vocal harmonies.

2. I love Willow Smith's swagger, I do, but I can't help but acknowledge that this cover is more likely to wind up on my ipod and I sure hope that doesn't make me racist.

Love always,

Clara

i am not sure how i feel about this.

Just not sure.

On one hand, I'm a bit of a facebook traditionalist. When I got facebook, they were on the brink of introducing the news feed. I remember the days when you had to scroll through your own photo albums to see if there were any new comments. In fact, I remember there being one particular photo (of Will in his own basement) that acquired over 800 comments, in the days before notifications (thank goodness. Imagine that. 800 notifications).

So this is a change. And sometimes I like facebook's changes and sometimes I don't. I liked the addition of facebook chat (although I don't like how it doesn't work half the time). I don't like the smaller font that they've arbitrarily decided is necessary. I don't even remember the days when the links to most of the sections were on the left hand side, and not the top.

Things have changed for the better and for the worse but mostly for the well-it's-been-a-month-and-I've-forgotten-what-it-used-to-be-like-so-I-guess-that's-cool.

This new profile isn't bad, I guess. Someone at facebook headquarters knows that the fastest way to get me to want something is to make it display pictures of myself in a prominent location. But do I want my life story so close to the top of the page? Do I like the idea of public lists of friends?

(I already have lists. On facebook chat my people are categorized as "america friends," "swiss kids," and "brown". "america friends" was initially titled "people i actually talk to" but then it became necessary to separate my groups of friends by time zone. And then Brown kids showed up and they're unique enough for their own category.) In any case, I wouldn't want to feel an obligation to put anyone on my "people i actually talk to" list, even if I don't really talk to them that often (or want to).

Public lists are nothing but trouble.

Hopefully I'm in a phase of my life in which people are less petty than that. That would be nice. Fingers crossed.

And in any case, I get to look at pictures of myself, so... I'm happy enough.

Love always,

Clara

hats are fun

Me: Hats are fun.

David: Some hats are fun.

Me: Most hats are fun.

David: ... Okay.

I've had a fun day of sitting at Starbucks, trying to write a philosophy paper, and running around with the Jameson boys.

The Jameson boys have gotten into pokemon on gameboy color.

Me: What was that bitchy cocoon one?

David: Kakuna!

Me: I hated that. It didn't do shit. It just sat there.

Andrew put on a bow tie as I was leaving.

Me: Are you wearing a bow tie?

Andrew: No.

Me: Okay. [exit]

Stefan: Andrew, I think she bought it!

I die. These real conversations are G-Block-Physics worthy.

(Generally when I put up a ton of real conversations without a whole lot of context or narrative, I think, "This reminds me of blogging during physics junior year!")

Love always,

Clara

phenomenal!

I stubbed my toe on the way to class this morning. It was very upsetting.

Me: You guyssss I stubbed my tooooooe and it hurrrrrts. [note: I think that this is actually how I speak when I'm in a bad mood]

Benny: I'm sorry.

Me: Ugh. This day has had a phenomenal start.

Benny: Maybe that's because today is a phenomenon.

It's hard to be in a bad mood when you've been told that your day is a phenomenon.

Speaking of things that will alleviate a bad mood, if any of you are in the mood for some ribaldry, you should watch this because it is worthwhile and rather saucy.

Thursdays always get me in the mood for ribaldry, because thursdays are before fridays, and fridays tend to be quite saucy indeed.

Love always,

Clara

happy december!

I hope your day went well. Mine was relatively uneventful.

That's not entirely true. I'm trying to invent a language for my final linguistics project and it is incredibly entertaining.

the older bird always gives the worm to the littlest bird in the nest
badnazo boro pɪrɪna laz lalɪma pɪtapar boroma zasopararar.

Do you see that? "zasopararar?" What?! I was doing this in Faunce and basically giggling to myself. It feels so ridiculous, but it's a significant portion of the grade. (Not everyone is making up a language. That was just one of the options. But it's totally my style.)

In third grade, Corinne and I had a language I think. It wasn't really a language though. We would just make noises at each other and pretend that we understood what the other one was saying. Corinne was a character.

Also, speaking of incredibly entertaining things, read this. McSweeney's cracks me up on a regular basis and I am thrilled by it.

Love always,

Clara

i take it back

Daphna

sounds good
enjoy your screening which is hopefully not some other korean porn/death/incest thing
clara
we're watching 'what not to wear'
and 'made'
Daphna
HAHAH
well TLC is definitely not korean incest.
i mean..i hope not..
havent watched it in a while
but im fairly confident

I take it all back. Everything negative I ever said about my MCM class is hereby retracted. We just watched three hours of trashy reality tv.

The days feel so long here. I literally don't remember this morning. Having lunch feels like days ago. I never have any idea what day of the week it is (unless, of course, it's friday).

It's a problem.

I have so much to do too. A philosophy paper, a linguistics project, an MCM paper, and one more Econ problem set. And three finals. Of course.

Yikes.

I can't believe the first semester has gone so quickly. December starts tomorrow (rabbit rabbit rabbit) and I'll be home in eighteen days.

Ridiculous.

Love always,

Clara

people LIKE kissing?!

Me: Wait, a sex machine?

Nicole: Yeah. Look.

Me: Oh wow! That will actually penetrate you!

Scott: That passes the Turing Test to me!

The Jameson kids got ahold of Stefan's facebook password. I died.

Now I'm working on linguistics, and dying for completely different reasons.

(Negative polarity what? Upward-entailing shitshow?)

John: So when I was working with [redacted1], we were working in [redacted2]'s room, and they both had hickeys.

Me: Shit, you mean couples kiss? Genevieve, did you know about this?

John: Shh! So, then, if I didn't know her, I would have thought she was high or something. She was weirdly giddy.

Me: You mean people LIKE kissing?

First day back in the swing of things. Basically two weeks until finals, seeing as no one seems to be interested in participating in this "reading period" phenomenon. Fine by me.

Waking up was hell this morning though.

Love always,

Clara

so it looks like i'm addicted to free labor

The blogging hiatus lasted a little while, at least. I just don't know how to quit you.

I'm having a music moment this afternoon. It's phenomenal, if I do say so myself.

Say It's Empathy (Crystal Castles + Rihanna + Lupe Fiasco + Terra Naomi) - Mochi Beats

Radar Detector - Darwin Deez

Weighty Ghost - Wintersleep

Sundress - Ben Kweller

First Impressions - Julia Nunes

Balloons - Julia Nunes

Guns and Horses - Ellie Goulding

Go Outside - Cults

Animal (Miike Snow cover) - Javier Dunn

Your Song - Ellie Goulding

I recommend all of these.

I coffee'd with Sam and Eleni this afternoon and we talked about our life plans.

Me: I just can't see myself doing anything practical, ever.

Sam: I'm going to marry well.

Me: No, Sam, you're supposed to be the person that other people marry well.

Sam: Eh. I'm very well bred.

Sam is tired of people being smitten with his cousins. I have a bad habit of becoming smitten with relatives of my friends. But my friends have been smitten with my relatives as well, so I think it's fair. In any case, I can't help that I have unmistakably attractive cousins. And Sam can't help that either. We'll all just have to cope.

I developed a new verbal tic last night. I now say "LOL" at everything in a semi-ironic-except-not-really-i-just-tell-myself-that kind of way. It's a problem.

As Alston would say, "error."

Love always,

Clara

x rated

Hey guys.

I'm not supposed to be participating in free labor over the long weekend, hence the lack of blogging.

Have to share a few thanksgiving real conversations though.

Dave: Kathy, who won the Redskins game last week?

Kathy: ... the Redskins.

Dave: And who's going to win next week?

Kathy: ... not you!

Weetie: Clara, tell us your most embarrassing college story.

Jordy: What about your best x-rated story?

Carly: Grampy's here!

Buck: I'll cover one ear.

I opted out anyways. Not sure my x-rated stories are very interesting. The funniest ones are probably on the risque end of PG-13 anyway.

Now I'm staying with the Gee fam, because they are wonderful.

Tonight will be one for the history books, I feel.

Love always,

Clara

macaroons and julia nunes

I've been at school all day but I feel like break started last night.

I had one class this morning and no work that needed to be done immediately, so it's been a super chill day.

I finally got the baked goods that my parents tried to send probably years ago. However, it seems Brown University Mail Services has misplaced the box containing macaroons.

They said they're going to look for them.

(Holy shit that was a lot of pronouns.)

The macaroons will be mine.

I'm going to a Ben Kweller / Julia Nunes concert tonight. I've blogged about Julia Nunes before. She's a singer who plays guitar and ukelele and got her start on youtube. I'm so excited to see her it's not even funny.

I'll take lots of pictures.

Okay. This was going to be longer but I'm running late. John is standing behind me.

Love always,

Clara

just a thought

The other day I was complaining about how all these college kids are being silly with their boy-girl interactions, when I went through that phase in spring of junior year.

I was thinking about that just now. What was happening during spring of junior year?

I was about to move to Switzerland. I was leaving home. I was freaking the fuck out, to be perfectly honest. That was the birth of "mentally unstable clara." I was a mess, just in general.

So then I thought, how many of these kids have had comprable experiences? For what percentage of them is going away to college the first such experience?

Probably a big one.

I see a correlation.

I should give these kids a break, I've decided. They're stressed the fuck out. We all are, and that's okay.

Although I wish they'd find a different way to deal with it.

Love always,

Clara

nice people

Some people are just so nice.

Check out this quote without context.

[redacted]

Well Clara, I hope you had a positively scintillating Sunday. It was lovely seeing you again! We must see each other soon.

First of all, who says "scintillating"? I love that word. I want to start using it more often.

Also on the topic of nice people, Billy started singing Coldplay in the Ratty today and I literally almost died. The girl at the table over gave him this epic "wtf" look and I was very close to cardiac arrest.

John: [redacted] is here.

Me: How dare he eat dinner at the same time that you do? You own this Ratty!

John: I know! This is my refectory!

Love always,

Clara

welcome, boys and girls, to college

A few months before I left for college, my dad presented me with a speech about "boy-girl interactions."

Much like the boy-girl parties of intermediate school, "boy-girl interactions" can be stressful and great and sometimes you think it might be best to hide in the bathroom with the girls who are hiding from their dates, and listen. After five minutes of that I tend to realize that I don't really like girls that much. Specific girls, sure, but girls on the whole, no thank you.

Anyway. Boy-girl interactions. The way I had understood them to this point (who am I kidding. I never understand this shit) had been something like this: people can hook up (which means kissing, Mom, and I know you're reading this on the edge of your seat. Make yourself a libertini or something and chill. I'm not getting pregnant and I'm not dropping acid either) and it can be nothing and everyone can move on with their lives. Or people can hook up and there can be emotional implications due to the behavior of one or more parties, and in that case the hook up can turn into a "thing," and a "thing" can turn into a relationship maybe.

It seems that I have been mistaken. Apparently, as numerous people have told me lately, "we're in college" and that means something.

I'm not sure what it means exactly. Does it mean that when people hook up and there are emotional implications, the best subsequent choice is to do nothing?

As it turns out, maybe that's the way people do things "in college." Everyone's in the let's-hook-up-with-as-many-people-as-possible-in-one-semester phase. The thing about that is that I had that phase in like, junior year. That phase is done. That phase came and went and wasn't all that interesting anyway.

I mean, why not just hook up with one person consistently, and also ask about their day? Is it the variety that everyone's after? Is there an inherent value in variety that I'm failing to grasp?

I don't know. We're in college. Whatever that means.

Love always,

Clara

speaking american

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

I'm mad jeal of all of yall going to the Deathly Hallows premier tonight.

Can I just say though that one of these people goes to my school?

Um, Boo-yah.

Love always,

Clara

*I know a decent number of you guys won't watch the video because, let's face it, videos take time and a minute and a half of commitment. I want you guys to know that I don't actually say "boo-yah." It's a reference to the video.

I just needed to clear that up.

donnerstag

(I took this)

I worked out yesterday for the first time in too long. Pish posh, I've been sick, don't judge me Dad.

Now I'm off to find a dress to wear to the newspaper banquet. And maybe the fall ball on saturday. I'm not sure whether people are actually going to that. I never know where I'm going to end up, actually.

There's also a masquerade situation. I wouldn't be in love with the idea, except that episode of Gossip Girl has given me high hopes for that kind of thing.

Anyway, it's slightly too early to be making weekend plans anyway. For god's sake, it's thursday.

Love always,

Clara

stimulating

Robert
well i reckon next year i will engross myself fully in studies
this year is fun and games

Clara
hahahaha
Robert
next i will go nuts
Clara
"engross myself fully in studies" LOL AS IF THIS SCHOOL WERE INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING
Robert
i will stimulate myself
Clara
hahahahahahahahaha

Clearly I'm actually a 12 year old boy. For the record.

Love always,

Clara

like yoda, i am?

Aw, I'm flattered, twitter.

Love always,

Clara

the day gossip girl made the wrong point about feminism

I'm shocked about it, really.

If you haven't seen this week's episode, probably don't read this, but I'll try to avoid any major plot points anyway.

Blair is trying to get into some kind of position of power. This is nothing new. The particular position of power in question this week is the "face" of Girls Inc., a position held by Nate's cousin or aunt or secret mormon wife or something at the moment. She's getting old (like, maybe 30 ish but who can even tell on this show?) so she approaches Blair and is like "I want you to be the face of my company because you dated someone with my last name and you go to an Ivy League school and you're Blair." And Blair is like, "Super." And the woman is like "But wait. There's more. We're concerned about your personal relationships. You need to be an empowered woman."

So Blair explains emphatically that she and Chuck are nothing and that there is nothing to worry about and she is SO empowered.

Then some other things happen and it becomes clear to the Girls Inc. woman that Chuck and Blair are, in fact, not nothing. So she goes up to Blair and is like "We don't want you anymore!" and Blair is like "That's not fair! An empowered woman should be able to do whatever she damn pleases!" and the bitchy woman says "That's life."

So Blair got it right, except then she goes up to Chuck and says "Bitch woman is right. I need to be empowered before I can be with you. I want to be the secretary of state, not first lady. Clearly I can accomplish nothing if you're in the picture. See ya later."

Which is just wrong. Come on, Blair! Seriously?

She's buying into this whole bullshit notion that one must be hostile to men to be competent. It's this rampant either/or-ism that is so popular among older feminists and so frequently called out as nonsense by the younger of us. One must be feminine or a feminist, apparently. No middle ground.

Nonsense.

It reminds me, actually, of this article that I was reading yesterday. A professor of civil liberties and feminist history was mad that a student was dressing in a way that displayed her "assets." She immediately made the assumption that the girl in question didn't think she had anything else to offer. Can we all acknowledge for a second what a ridiculous leap that is?

One can be with Chuck Bass and be an "empowered woman." One can dress scantily and also be intelligent and capable.

Any "feminist" who says otherwise is completely missing the point.

As is Gossip Girl.

Love always,

Clara

kids these days, man

This just transpired on facebook. It's really bothering me.

I don't want to go around trashing random kids who are years younger than me. But can we talk for a second about their attitude? Not as a personal attack but as a gateway to a discussion about something more emblematic of society?

Who the fuck is proud of misspelling the word "Sweden"?

I mean, it kind of bothers me that they jump on my sister for her request for political correctness. The word in question bothers me too, but I've come to terms with the fact that some people feel like it's their right to use it. That's fair. I get that.

But all these acronyms bother me (What is LLS? I just want to know!). And the exclamation points. For the sake of context, let me point out that these kids are indeed educated. They definitely DO know how to spell "Sweden."

And then why talk back to me like that? I'm supposed to be the older sister that these kids want to impress.

They are just too cool for me and my knowledge-of-countries I guess.

Ugh. The whole culture of "Look how ignorant and obnoxious I can be on the internet, regardless of whether it's a reflection of my actual behavior" really pisses me off, in whatever context.

John: I hate it when people post stauses like, "The more a flame is covered up, the hotter it burns." A) WHAT? and B) Stop infiltrating my news feed with your ridiculousness. The more a flame is covered up, the faster it goes out, you idiot! Do you understand oxygen?!

Love always,

Clara

EDITED TO ADD: Apparently "LLS" means "Laughing like shit." The more you know.

John: Because excrement laughs.

meta-dreams

I have been sleeping way more than is acceptable today.

This morning, I was having a dream in which I was sick. In my dream logic, I didn't have to go to class, because I was sick. So I turned off my alarm. Because I was sick.

Except... I'm not sick.

And I missed my first two classes.

I figured I'd make up for it by doing a lot of work in Faunce this afternoon, an idea that immediately went to hell when I turned on facebook chat. Then I had section, and came back to my room.

Where I fell asleep.

I had some really weirdly interesting dreams during this most recent nap. First I dreamt that something on my chair (my phone? A hairbrush?) was my computer. Then I dreamt that in that previous dream, I had typed weird dream-things onto my word document, and that in this dream I was reading them. I seem to recall something along the lines of "Don't become submerged in concrete. That would be a shame," being in there.

Then I dreamt several times about waking up and going to dinner. Every time I realized I was still in my chair, I'd get disoriented all over again.

Now I'm awake.

Really.

I think.

Love always,

Clara

kill marry screw: concert edition

Kill: The director of Amtrak, the engineers behind MBTA, and anyone else responsible for making train travel in this country such a shitshow.

Marry: Sufjan Stevens. I'm in love.

Screw: That guy who was sitting a couple rows behind us, in the denim jacket.

Sufjan Stevens concert last night blew my mind. It was incredible. I had several epiphanies. One of the songs was said to be 23 minutes long, and it wasn't boring. He played new things that I didn't really expect to like, and I liked them. He played old things that were just amazing in general.

Getting there was a mess. The concert was supposed to start at 7:30, so John and I decided to catch the 6:00 commuter rail into Boston, which was supposed to arrive at a little after 7. Then we'd have a little while to take the T to the Orpheum in a leisurely fashion.

The thing about trains, though, is that they never ever run on time in this country.

It's actually ridiculous. Our train didn't leave until 6:30ish, and they didn't give us any indication of when we'd be arriving. They just kept saying, "We'll get moving as soon as we can. Sorry for the delay" in their crackly loudspeaker voices.

It turns out, there was an Amtrak train in front of us which had technical difficulties, so rather than, I don't know, have some kind of backup plan, they just made us sit there until they figured the Amtrak issues out.

Well, excuse me, but I don't think this is acceptable.

People take trains so that they can get places. Usually if there's somewhere I need to be, I need to be there before a particular time. I expect trains to deliver me to that place at or before that time.

It really inspires this indignation in me. It's this "No, we all deserve better than this" feeling. Why haven't there been riots? Why hasn't there been legislation? Why isn't it illegal to make a train more than 15 minutes late without refunds for everyone's tickets?

Why hasn't anyone done anything about this?

I was telling John all of these angry thoughts while we were on said train, and for a second I thought, "Clara, you should be quiet and stop sounding so entitled."

But that's ridiculous! We're all entitled to trains that run on time! That should be the expectation! We are entitled to reasonable expectations!

John: We need someone like Mussolini.

Me: Yeah. But... I don't know. Let's just get someone like Mussolini in charge of Amtrak and nothing else. That would work.

When Daph came to visit her train was absurdly late as well. Like, an hour and a half late. She was almost late to the class she was going to. No refunds were offered. The apologies, I would bet, were halfhearted at best.

That would not fly in Switzerland.

It's ironic, too. Americans have this reputation for being go-go-go all the time. We don't like to sit in restaurants for a long time. We're a little more frenzied than people in other countries. And yet we have this lackadaisical train ethic. It's incongruous with the rest of our lives.

If I had been going to Boston just for the hell of it, I'd have been annoyed but not enraged. But I had places to be, and so did everyone else on that train.

Anyway. Moving on.

The concert was amazing. We didn't get there until almost eight, but it turns out there was an opener (we were pretty sure there wouldn't be one) so we didn't miss anything important. Sufjan made it all very personal; even though we were on the balcony I felt like he was talking to me. The whole thing was more of a mixed-media experience than a concert in itself. There were trippy projections on the walls. There was a fifteen minute montage about the life of a schizophrenic artist-prophet in Alabama (or something). There was dancing.

Sufjan: So this song is about being in love, feeling empty inside, working it out inside, going to therapy, working it out outside, working it out in the world... It's like I'm the patient, and you are my therapists... except I charged you money.

He played Chicago toward the end. It was incredible. There were balloons. I had an epiphany about the state of my life and the sources of my angst and the fact that I should really just listen to more Sufjan Stevens.

Good good good night.

(Besides those fucking trains)

Love always,

Clara

me talk pretty one day?

I saw David Sedaris speak yesterday. He read from his newest book and from his diary. It was awesome.

He signed books afterwards. He said really fantastic things inside.

Mine: I'm so happy you're alive.

John's: Let's drown kittens in buckets of piss and Diet Dr. Pepper.

Hannah's friend: Friend- with friendly friendship, bitch

I kind of want his life. I think I wouldn't be bad at writing humorous memoirs. I like telling stories and forcing people to listen to them and not letting anyone interrupt. They can't interrupt when things are written down.

... Actually, if they can, that's something I'd like to see. I imagine it involves taking a fountain pen to a page and scrawling your own story in the spaces between the lines, intrusively.

Tonight I'm seeing Sufjan Stevens. You cannot comprehend my excitement.

Love always,

Clara

adjacent to the ship

Kid: [asks question]

Professor L: Wow. You've jumped ship here. Well, you've jumped ship to an adjacent ship.

I found this hilarious for some reason.

Speaking of things I found hilarious, last night when I decided I really ought to watch the damn film for MCM, I discovered that it's in spanish. It's hard to find a spanish movie with english subtitles for free online. And the quality of said subtitles is not the greatest.

It's like everything went through Google translator... twice.

Professor C: Why Web 2.0 Suicide? Why this obsession with ending it all? Why do I want to retire in ten years and become a survivalist in British Columbia?

I swear, at the end of this class the professor is going to have a whole lecture saying, essentially, "GOTCHA! This doesn't mean anything!"

Love always,

Clara

the teen angst adventure gang

I was having a supremely angsty day yesterday.

I'm not even sure why. I'd say I think I'm getting sick, but I was literally just sick last week, and I thought I'd recovered, and who knows at this point.

Anyway, I literally went to class, sat in the Ratty for an hour and a half doing a crossword puzzle, and went back to my room. Watched a couple episodes of Skins (Series three. Like whoa), went up to the Mead lounge to study for economics (which meant working through a free response question that ended up on the exam), went back to my room, watched another episode of Skins, and went to dinner.

My plan had been to finish dinner and head to my screening for MCM, but I was halfway to Smitty B before I realized I'd left my keys in the Ratty. So I rushed back, and my keys weren't on the table, and I made an awkward circle of the room looking for my keys and finding, instead, several tables full of people I'd rather not see me in this kind of condition. And then I went to the front table and my keys had been turned in as lost.

At that point I was already late, and I decided, fuck it. I went back to Keeney, but was in more of a sit-in-the-rain-and-talk-on-the-phone mood than a sit-in-my-room-and-watch-the-damn-film-on-my-laptop mood. So I did that for a while.

I don't know what's up with me. I'm just in a generally angsty mood and I'm not sure what brought this on.

Love always,

Clara

death occurs ... on the window seat

John is in a really hyper mood.

John: Oh my god! I haven't been like this since July second!

Me: Really?

John: It's only been worse than this twice! It was terrible! I was basically having a seizure.

John is somewhat misunderstanding the term "seizure"

Genevieve: Seizures are not good. They're not what you mean.

John: I don't know. Sometimes they're not all bad.

Genevieve: So sometimes, when you start seizing, it's a good thing?

I'm not so sure.

Genevieve: So.... So I don't like clothing. In general.

That may be a problem, seeing as it's getting cold as hell up in this piece. There were little patches of snow on the ground this morning, and it was dark by five. Winter is impending.

John: If someone were to walk by.... they would think....

Me: Think what?

John: that death..... occurs.... on the windowseat. Oh, this is bad.

Genevieve: This is getting weird.

That it is.

Love always,

Clara

do you fold your underwear?

John came over to discuss slash elimination theory.

Me: You have impeccable timing. Gossip Girl just ended.

John: I would have been several minutes later, except Lobsang was in the room and there is no way i'm folding my delicates in front of him.

Me: Yeah, I never fold shit in front of Genevieve. That would be just weird.

Genevieve: Yeah.

Me: What kind of delicates do you even have, anyway?

John: .... Undies!

Genevieve: What?

Me: Wait... You fold your underwear?

This just about blew my mind.

So did Gossip Girl. For the record.

So did this weekend. Daph is gone and I'm sad about it, although it's nice to have 90% of my floor space back. It turns out an extra mattress takes up a lot of room.

Funny how that happens.

Love always,

Clara

slutty and weird

Last night, the Jameson kids (i.e. the kids down the hall who live in a building called Jameson, while I live in a building called Poland. Hint: It's actually all one building!) were watching music videos. They started off slutty.

Then they got just a little weird.

Some were weird and slutty.



And then this happened.

The moral of the story: Music videos are strange. And I'm lazy today. This post made a lot more sense in my head.

Love always,

Clara

ducks and bunnies, oh my!

I had multiple foodgasms today.

If you are a person who resides in the Providence area, you need to go to Duck and Bunny on Wickenden. It blew my mind. Literally.

I'm really not sure how that can be taken literally, but I challenge you to try.

I myself ordered a salad with bleu cheese and walnuts and cider vinaigrette. Daph got some crepes, but she didn't like them, so then she ordered french toast which was positively orgasmic. I kept eating her bananas.

Yum.

Then we got cupcakes.

I died.

Love always,

Clara

classes and shit, yo

Freshman preregistration was today.

I've got awkward gaps on tuesdays and thursdays because I've entered the Visual Art lottery, and I don't know what section they're going to assign me. There are some tuesday/thursday classes I'm planning on shopping as well.

But this might be something similar to the final schedule.

Hoorah.

John: He's taking Studio Foundations this semester. He took it purposely to go out of his box.

Me: Yeah, fuck boxes.

Love always,

Clara

holy sheep

So this just blew my mind.

Although, to be fair, a lot of things have been blowing my mind lately. I'm in this weirdly mentally unstable state lately, which I'm blaming on my headcold.

It's cold outside? AAAAHHH! NOOO!

There are vegan nuggets in the Ratty? OH MY GOD YESSSSS BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Something is funny? OH MY GOD I JUST DIED.

There is a person in my path? EEEAAHHHH?

I just can't seem to use my words.

Anyway, my reaction to this video was "AAAAH? WHAAAAT? THAT IS THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD!!!! EVER!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!"

Behold.

Love always,

Clara

10:30 class? woke up at 10:25. super.

There's this kid who lives on my hall. He's tall and I see him in the hallway all the time (usually when I'm in my towel... awk...) and I don't know his name.

I saw him outside the dorm today as I was leaving.

Me: Hey, is it raining?

Kid: Um, kind of.

Me: I'm not going to bring an umbrella. Is that a mistake?

Kid: Maybe.

Me: Well I'm not going to go get one. WHO NEEDS YOU?

This is what happens when I wake up five minutes before class starts, because I got home at 1 the night before, because post was being tricky and I was moving slowly, because I have a cold and can't think straight.

Some people were handing out flyers on my way to class.

Guy: Would you be interested in joining the race against diabetes?

Me: [taking flyer] Oh... yeah... diabetes is cool.... I mean... no it's not.

Guy: No...

Like wow.

Love always,

Clara

i really want a nap but at this point i can stick it out until bedtime

I'm sick. I'm not happy about it.

I bought some Claritin. That may have helped. I feel like this isn't the flu-type of sickness that I had like, a month ago. This is a headcold gone awry. So I need to attack it from a different angle.

Speaking of Angles, midterm elections!

Not going too well for my kids!

Well, that's not true. The only people I can really take responsibility for are Jim Moran (hell yes, Virginia's 11th) because that's my home district, and David Cicilline because I canvassed for him today.

I don't know what part of my illness-addled mind thought that walking around in the cold for three hours would be a good idea.

That said, I felt bad about not voting, so I had to do something.

Anyway, things are looking pretty good for Cicilline and Moran's already been called so I can call it a day.

Thank goodness. I'm exhausted.

Oh, also, I found this link funny. Also, relevant to my life (at least in the first half). (Seriously guys, college. It's such an awkward place.)

You should click on it.

Love always,

Clara

elementary, dear watson

Hannah: John, I could see you emoting from across the room!

John is very expressive.

John: I never really cursed in high school, because all of my friends in high school were people I'd gone to elementary school with, and I'd been a goody-goody in elementary school, so if I cursed people would be like, "Oh, the John White from elementary school wouldn't say that!" and they'd make a big deal. So I avoided it.

Me: I don't think any of us from elementary school would curse.

Hannah: AWW YEAH. I LEARNED TO MULTIPLY SHIT. AND WRITE SOME FUCKING CURSIVE, BITCHES!

This had me in hysterics for probably about five minutes.

Later, John was having some kind of existential crisis with his brownie.

John: I'm going to use my hands. Be a man! Use your hands!

Me: Yeah, fuck utensils.

John: Don't you know that rhyme that everyone did in elementary school?

Me: What?

John: When you're sitting on the john / And the toilet paper's gone / Be a man! [clap clap] Use your hands!

Me: Oh my god. That's disgusting. Ew. What?

John: You've never heard that?

Me: No!

John: Maybe it was a Florida thing. I never said it. Other kids did.

Me: What's manly about having fecal matter on your hands?

Sorry if any of yall are reading this blog post while eating. To be fair though, I was eating dinner during this conversation. So really I'm just giving you the full experience of my side of this conversation.

Love always,

Clara

i want to ride my bicycle

Since the process depends on the community, certain Amish people have adopted more new tech than others. Some approve bicycles, while others find those too technologically advanced, instead permitting only scooters.

(via The Atlantic)

Imagine, for a moment, an Amish person on a scooter.

I laughed out loud.

In other news, I'm in the library trying to focus on Linguistics homework. Clearly it's going really well.

Love always,

Clara

what a weekend

This weekend was insane.

Let's just go through this step by step.

FRIDAY

1:00 - Get out of class.

1:15 - Catch a cab to the airport.

1:40 - Go through security. Get searched, because I'm going to DC and not checking any luggage, which is suspicious. Find it weird, anyway, that they had to pat me down, seeing as the clothing I tend to wear is pretty tight. Where would I be hiding anything?

2:15 - Hang out at the airport bookstore. Move Glenn Beck's books to the children's section. Feel clever, although I certainly hope no children really pick that book up. Yikes.

2:50 - Flight takes off.

4:15 - Land at National. See house. Get unduly excited at the thought of being back in my hometown.

One thing I've noticed about the life itinerant is that perhaps, rather than being more or less homeless, everywhere I go is home. This weekend I went home, and then I went back home, and I'm going home again over thanksgiving, going home, going home over winter break, going home at the end of january, and then going home again sometime in March or April to see my baby niece (!!!!)

4:17 - Get on the Metro. I love not checking baggage. SO worth the awkward pat-down.

5:30 - Meet Vivian in Rockville. Go back to her house. Eat Brazilian food.

6:3o--1:00 - Do weird things. Vivian and I read through our entire Wall-to-Wall looking for quotes without context. I catch Vivian up on the past season and a half of Gossip Girl. Daphna calls. I try to learn how to play the ukelele.

Me: So Serena is like "ohhhh I don't know what to dooo everybody just likes me!" and Juliette is like "*obvious scheming*" and Nate is like "You like me? OK! You're teaching dentistry to midgets? OK!"

1:15 - Go to bed.

SATURDAY

8:30 - Wake up.

9:30 - Go to Vivian's friend's house for breakfast. It turns out, Vivian's friend's dad is a columnist that I used to read all the time (back when I got the Washington Post). Get excited.

10:20 - Get to the Silver Spring Metro stop. Get seats, because it's early and Silver Spring is near the end of the line.

10:25 - Realize that the crowd on this Metro is only a taste of what is certainly to come. Feel like a sardine.

11:30 - Arrive in Metro Center. Try to meet Sam at Caribou Coffee but he is not there. Get caught up in the general enthusiasm of the day, and probably rant about the impossibility of meeting people anywhere else, because there are literally hundreds of thousands of people here.

12:15 - Get to a crowd of people dense enough that it must be considered the Rally.

12:23 - See some cool signs.

12:48 - Get stepped on.

12:57 - Try to hear something. Realize that this is futile.

(lather, rinse, repeat)

Angry Guy: PUT DOWN YOUR SIGN! WE CAN'T SEE! PUT DOWN YOUR SIGN PLEASE!

Me: Yeah, and if everyone could shrink by about a foot, that would be great too!

People around me: *giggles*

1:30 - Reason that while we've had the Rally experience, the rational thing to do would be to locate a TV in a warm food-serving environment from which we could watch the end of the Rally.

1:50 - Get out of the densest part of the crowd. Use our awesome DC-native knowledge to navigate to Union Station.

2:00 - Go to UNO's. Have some deep dish pizza. Have a sassy waiter named Tommy. Tommy inexplicably hates us, because we ordered an appetizer or something.

2:50 - Catch the metro to the airport.

4:15 - Buy a Washington DC shot glass. Buying an Alexandria one is on my to-do list.

4:35 - Get on the bus from the terminal to the actual airplane. Strike up conversation with a family from Indiana who was at the Rally as well. Engage in intelligent political discourse with various bus passengers. Make a friend.

4:59 - Take off for Philadelphia.

5:45 - The kid from the bus runs after me to exchange facebook-friendship. I may have been short with him. I was in a hurry. Regardless, we are now facebook friends.

5:55 - Board flight for Providence.

7:30 - Land.

7:40 - Catch a cab back to campus. I had a very nice cab driver. He was probably around my age, going to college during the day and driving taxis at night. He was from Syria, and wanted to go to med school. I told him to rock on.

8:00 - Get back to school. Change into my Halloween costume. Spend a good amount of time trying to make myself look like Marie Antoinette.

9:45 - Go with Hannah to Jameson. Chill there for a bit. Realize that most people are dressed with a Harry Potter theme. Audrey drew a sick Dark Mark on Scott's arm.

10:20 - The hallway party is dissolving. Jump on the bandwagon going to the Harry Potter party. Decide that for the purposes of this party, I'm a veela. Realize too late that John and Alex are still in the back, taking pictures of themselves and uploading them to facebook.

10:30 - Get to the Harry Potter party. Drink Butterbeer which involves cream soda and is actually delicious. Meet a "Hipster Harry Potter". Meet a girl with whom I'm friends on facebook.

later - Decide to leave. Get my tiara tangled in the fake spiderwebs on the stairs.

Me: Oh my god! I'm a spider web!

Guy: You're a spider web? That's not very sexy.

Me: I know! It's a problem!

later - Go into a chinese restaurant to use the bathroom. Commit some crimes.

later - Hit up the frat scene. Make some friends. Lose Hannah. Find Hannah. Go outdoors.

later - Meet some guys who were either seriously from Yale, or dressed up as guys from Yale. They said their costume was "Ivy League Douches". Yale kids seem cool enough to make fun of themselves that way, but they might have been serious.

later - Meet someone dressed up as "Security" who is trying to mess with people, telling us not to stand in certain places and whatnot. I tell him that I'm Princess Peach and that he does not want to fuck with royalty.

later - I seem to recall talking to someone about the fact that I'm a shiksa? i.e. a non-jewish girl? I'm not sure how anyone got onto this topic.

later - I want food. Hannah and I go to the new cone place. The new cone place serves pizza and other food items in a cone. I get eggplant parmesan ... in a cone. We meet Jackie and her friend, who are dressed as sexy founding fathers.

Jacqueline: we the white male landowners, in order to serve our corporate interests, do delcare:
1. all founding fathers look the same.
2. if it's not slutty, it's not halloween

2:00ish? - Go home. Fall asleep.

SUNDAY

10:30 - Decide that church bells are a tool of the devil, ironically.

11:00 - Actually get out of bed.

1:00 - Go to the library. Actually get shit done for the first time this weekend.

2:30 - Walk to the other side of campus to try to arrange Hakuna Matata.

3:00 - Try to teach said arrangement to other people. Feel ineffective.

4:15 - Go to the Brown Bookstore. Chill there for a while.

5:00 - Post- meeting.

6:30 - Get dinner. Feel like soup. Feel a head-cold coming on.

8:00 - Try to do linguistics. Feel the desire to hit my head against the wall. Repeatedly.

9:00--12:00 - Watch three hours of Law and Order.

12:30 - Go to bed.

And now it's Monday and I have class and almost definitely a sinus infection. But it's so cold! Shouldn't the cold have frozen all of the allergens? Does that even make sense?

I don't know. My ears hurt. And my head feels strange.

Well, if this weakened-immune-system was brought on by anything this weekend... it was worth it.

Love always,

Clara

oh my god puppy

Going to DC today. Not bringing my laptop. Will take lots of pictures.

Here's a blog post.

I'm obsessed with this dog.

His name is Boo and he is very famous.

Love always,

Clara

fish co? fail co.

Alex and I tried to go out last night. We were dressed up as CEO/Caterer and 80's workout girl (respectively) and everything.

Alas, we arrived at the bar at the same time as the popo.

When you see flashing lights and hear whistles, that's when you leave.

Or, you know, wait around outside and ask people what's going on because your journalistic instincts are taking over.

(Speaking of, I've been published twice in two days. Feeling so culturally relevant right now. Read Post- for my take on terrible teen fiction)

Anyway, eventually we encountered Megan, and the three of us went to East Side market and got ice cream bars. Alex and I were still restless and looking for something to do, but we didn't find anything.

Funny how that happens.

We did see a guy shaving in one of the third-floor windows. I named him Mr. Torso because that was the only section of him that we could see.

I'm not sure why I do these things.

Alex: CLARA! YOUR HAIR! Leave it! I want to take a picture!

Me: Oh god, what's it doing?

Alex: It's coming out from behind your headband... you look like a PREPUBESCENT PANDA!

Love always,

Clara

legitness

I've written for the Blog Daily Herald!

Check it out!

Shameless self-promotion all over the place!

In other news, I'm so busy it's literally insane. My sanity is notably absent.

In other other news, I've got at least three nights of halloween on the agenda, and all require different costumes. Love college.

In other other other news, I've invented a linguistic rule. You can add as many "others" as necessary to "in other news."

I just liberated you from the shackles of an unnecessary standard in our language.

The number of potential sentences in the english language just increased exponentially (not that it wasn't infinite already).

Hot damn. I feel powerful.

In other other other other news, clearly I'm losing it.

Love always,

Clara

your love your love your love is my drug

KE$HA CONCERT TONIGHT.

Trashy music for the win.

(Real-Conversation-Without-Context:

Girl: [opens door for us]

Me: Friendly strangers for the win!

John: No one says 'for the win,' Clara.

Hannah: Um...

Girl: I say 'for the win'

John: ... I meant, no one among the three of us.

Me: JOHN YOU JUST ALIENATED A STRANGER.

End scene)

Seriously, the ke$ha concert was awesome. The first opener, Deluka, was pretty sweet, and the second was very bizarre, and the main event didn't show up until 10, but that's all well and good. So worth the wait.

I'd forgotten how much I legitimately like her music, actually. I downloaded her album
when it first came out, and listened to a lot of Ke$ha in mid-January.

Mid-January was an interesting time for me, actually, for a number of reasons. Ke$ha was in fact a good influence, I think.

The thing about her is that I'm fairly certain she was drunk on stage tonight. She absolutely does not take herself too seriously.

First semester last year, I was definitely taking myself too seriously. But you listen to songs about actually, perhaps, going out and enjoying yourself, and it's hard to stay focused on dumb overdramatic shit.

I might need a little more Ke$ha in my life.

Don't want to be the Ke$ha of the group though. Every group of friends has that one girl who is the Ke$ha. I'd like to avoid that.

... Although it might be too late.

Love always,

Clara

migraines

I had dinner with John's family last night. Sometime towards the end of the night I got a migraine.

By the time I got back to my room I kind of wanted to die.

John: I need to do work.

Me: I need to shoot myself in the head repeatedly.

John: ... or just lie down?

Later, I heard 'Chicago' (Sufjan Stevens, obvi) coming from down the hall. I stumbled over to see where it was coming from.

Me: Are you guys playing Chicago? Is that this room?

Nick: Yeah, I love that song.

I think I was actually out in the hall to use the bathroom or brush my teeth or something.

I passed by again on the way back.

Me: That song is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Gavin: Nick put it on.

Me: I'm going to have to beat him with a shovel.

So.... it appears migraines make me unduly violent.

Curious.

Now we're all chilling in my room.

Genevieve: Yeah, the average was a fifty.

John: Wow, you did fantastic then!

Genevieve: I was below average...

John: ... That's fantastic!

John is reading his blog posts out loud.

Genevieve: Teach me to blog. I feel like I would only write sarcastically.

Me: Do that. If sarcastic is how you do shit, then do that shit, yo.

Love always,
Clara

you know what they say about economists

I had dinner with my parents again tonight. That's always nice. I'd forgotten what good food tastes like.

We were discussing my friends' parents' marriages for whatever reason.

I'm going to have to keep this anonymous.

Dad: Well they got married right out of college, but he had that wild year in europe to run around. That's why his teeth are like that. It's the venereal disease.

The man in question is not someone I can imagine ever acquiring a venereal disease.

Dad: You know what they say about economists. That if you lined them all up end to end... it would be a good thing.

Love always,

Clara

gorgeous

Thomas just sent me a whole facebook-message-ful of music, and John was showing me some cool stuff yesterday. That does it. I'm now wandering around the internet, downloading songs as I please.

In that process I stumbled upon this video, which you should watch, because it's absolutely beautiful. The song may not appeal to all tastes, but I personally am a fan, maybe mostly because I'm going to imagine this video every time I see it now.

Curs In The Weeds - Horse Feathers

Pursuit of Happiness (Kid Cudi cover) - Barbara

Time To Pretend (MGMT cover) - Jonsi

Rome (Neighbors and Devendra Banhart remix) - Phoenix

Hold You - Wale

Quitters Raga - Gold Panda

You Started - Ou Est Le Swimming Pool

Blueberry - Late Of The Pier

Love Lust - King Charles

Citizen - Broken Bells

Mean - Taylor Swift

I get so lost when I'm looking for music. It's always such a wandering odyssey. Like, if Odysseus wasn't even sure he wanted to go home, and figured he might as well stop by some other islands first to see if anything cool was going on.

Love always,
Clara