lazy sunday

The thing about Sundays is that I spent five hours working today. And I don't have that much to blog about.

I did sign up for the P.E. membership (Hey dad, you'll see that on your credit card, figure you wouldn't mind) so I could go to a spinning class with Alex. That was fun.

They do kickboxing on tuesday nights. I might try to pop over after my Modern Culture and Media screening. We shall see. I'd love to learn to kick ass.

Anyway, the point of this is that I really don't have much to say about today. Here are some pictures, because I'm lazy.

Um... yeah. Go sports!

Love always,

Clara

foooootballllll

This weekend is homecoming. Who knew?

To be fair, homecoming in college is very different from homecoming in high school. Here, there are classy-looking alumni all over the place, and no one cares what dress you're wearing, although they might be wondering why you're wearing a dress to begin with. We're yankees, and we don't do the sundresses-and-pearls-to-football-games thing.

Obviously.

Anyway, we had our homecoming football game tonight and I'd say it was pretty awesome. I ran around with some Jameson kids beforehand, but (rather rudely; I apologize) peaced out to see where John was sitting. His seats were better.

Getting there was an adventure though. He'd texted me that he was sitting in front of two shady characters with whom I'd had enough contact to recognize. So I was making my way across the stadium, and I see these two sitting down and assume that John is nearby. It was a fair assumption. So I'm looking around that area, and not seeing him at all, but I keep using these two guys as a reference point, so I'm basically staring at them, standing awkwardly in the aisle, and I know they see me, and they're likely wondering why I'm staring at them and typing furiously into my phone.

I imagine I looked creepy as a mofo.

So finally I see John somewhere else entirely and make my way over there and I have to explain to him why these two people now think I'm a total freak.

Not that they didn't already, actually.

Whatever.

We beat Harvard though! And we had clever cheers! I like sports. I don't like playing sports, but I enjoy watching them. I feel like every time I try to play a sport, the sport tries to entice me... and then shuts me down. I've just been hurt too many times. I know to keep my distance.

I'm horribly cynical these days.

That's not entirely true. Neither is anything Alex tells you about little children. For the record.

Love always,

Clara

i just wanna dance

For the record, I totally understand international trade, so it was totally okay that I was on facebook chat during Economics this morning.

Cameron and I were discussing weekend plans.

Cameron
i wanna dance
Me
right now?
Cameron
nuh uh
lol
later tonight
Me
hahaha
Cameron
i wanna dance right now, but later tonight
lol
Me
i want to dance. in econ. right now.
econ always makes me want to dance
Cameron
that's wonderful
you should get up and do it
Me
i might dance on my way out
like ellen degeneres

Love always,

Clara

"you guys, i just had a vision"

So last night around nine, I decided to start doing my homework. At maybe 9:15, there was a knock on my door.

Behold, John White!

There goes any chance of doing work.

Elsewhere in the universe, someone had decided that it would be funny to put spare mattresses up against Ivy's door, which means my hallway now has some random mattresses lying around.

We took advantage of this.

Building a fort didn't work, so we eneded up just jumping on the mattresses for like, half an hour. Cardio!

I took lots of pictures.

Me: People are going to see these and be like, "How drunk were you?" and I'm going to be like "Oh, I was sober. That was a thursday."

Then John and Hannah and Genevieve and I sat on the floor for a bit, and I painted my nails, and we talked about Pretty Little Liars.

And then we went to Jo's. They have music playing at Jo's most of the time. Alejandro came on.

John: You guys, I just had a vision of us performing a dance routine to this song right here. We had professional backup dancers. Clara, they were lifting you and you had enigmatic looks on your face. Hannah and I were writhing on the floor... sexily.

Hannah: That was all happening in your head? Good. Let's keep it there.

I plan to have a more hollywood-movie type college experience this weekend, but it's all off to a good start.

Love always,

Clara

strange correspondence

I've been emailing with my parents. It's more efficient than calling.

They're both very strange people, and had very different reactions to the news that I had been ill.

Mom

I am glad you made the call on your throat- just make sure you get seen! Throat Coat is my fav. I used to drink it before the show (right after a big mug of Thinko Tea!) It gives you a sexy voice.

Dad

I am glad to hear you are healing. You are probably surrounded by more germs than at any time since St. Paul's [preschool]. The great Plague of 1918 (which killed your great-grandfather's wife and son, thank God, lest we not exist) was mostly spread by housing WWI soldiers in massive barracks, each sleeping 12 inches from the next guy. Whoosh, they carried it across the world.

No further comment. This says it all.

Love always,

Clara

don't you just hate that?

I went to Jo's with John and Hannah last night. We had a number of interesting conversations.

John got a salad. He made it himself.

Me: I can't do that. It's too much stress. I always get a pre-designed salad. If they put an ingredient in and I don't like it, I can blame them. But what if I design it, and I don't like it? It's all on me! What does that say about me... as a person?

Hannah: That's deep. Salads, man... Salads.

Hannah and I are probably the last two people on earth who haven't seen Inception. We're going to go see it at some point. We invited John to come along.

John: I didn't think it was that good. I mean, it was a good movie, but I'd give it like, four out of five stars. . . You know what I don't like? When they make the beginning of a movie intentionally confusing. It's like, rubbing it in your face that you don't know what's going on.

About fifteen minutes later, we were walking back having some conversation (that I can't remember), and, out of the blue--

John: Don't you hate it when old people fart?

Hannah and I: ... What?

John: That will make sense in the context of what I'm about to tell you...

Me: You're doing just what Inception did! You hypocrite!

I feel like my retelling of these conversations do not do them justice.

I hate it when funny things happen but you had to be there, because one of my favorite things is trying to convey these funny things to other people.

Damn.

Love always,

Clara

don't think that i'm pushing you away...

... when you're the one that I've held closest

-Crystallized, The XX

I just bought tickets to The XX in Boston on October 3rd. Also, cheap bus tickets to and from boston that night. John and I are making a concert trip.

This is happening.

And I am so excited.

It all started when I ran into John on the way back from the campus store. I had to buy tomato soup. (Or, I wanted to buy tomato soup, because it was too late to go to the ratty, and having some tomato soup on hand is always a good idea. Strictly speaking, it wasn't absolutely necessary.) He suggested that we discuss linguistics later. I agreed.

So about three hours later I stopped into his room with my laptop and we discussed consonant clusters and such.

Me: I had these as tense vowels in the high and mid tongue positions.

John: I think they're just regular tense vowels though.

Me: Oh, you're right! Sorry, I don't know why I'm so anal about tongue positions. I mean... What?

John and I: [hysterics]

Clearly he and I focus really well.

Anyway, we got on to talking about music, and we both love the XX, and they're playing in Boston, and tickets weren't too expensive, so we went ahead and bought some. The plan is to leave Providence around 6, get to Boston around 7, go to the show at 7:30, leave Boston at 11, and be back in Providence by 12 so that we can be in bed in time for class the next morning.

It's going to be epic. Between this and my journey to DC for the rally at the end of October, I'm developing quite an itinerary.

Me: I need to figure out cheap transportation to Princeton. I'm going down for the football game.

John: Who are they playing?

Me: ... Brown?

John: Oh! Do you know anything about our football team?

Me: Well, they play football... what else do I need to know? We're playing Harvard next weekend...

John: Oh yeah, my Harvard friend is coming down.

Me: Nice. I don't have any harvard friends. All my friends are far too interesting to go to Harvard.

John: Yeah, she's not very interesting...

I really need to make some tea and go to bed. Dan and Cameron aren't getting their kettle back any time soon. For real.

Love always,

Clara

life without speaking

I have laryngitis! This blog post will be the most communication I've done with the outside world all day!

Oh my god I feel so free!

Seriously, I haven't been able to speak all day. I was mostly fine yesterday (although my voice did sound a little weird) and I feel totally ok. I wasn't feeling well earlier in the week, but my voice was alright, and now I feel great, and my voice is gone?

I do not know what to make of this.

At the moment though, I'm making tea. Hannah gave me a couple bags of her Throat Coat, because she is an incredible human being, so that's brewing at the moment. It'll be my second cup of tea today.

I'm a mess.

I hate not being able to speak, too. It has been pointed out to me that I talk a lot. (It has also been pointed out to me that I tend to use needlessly long sentence constructions. Perhaps there is a connection?).

What am I if I can't communicate?

Web MD was utterly unhelpful. It basically said, "stop talking so much."

Thanks.

Well, I'm mute.

And I'm hating it.

So I'm going to watch TV or something and mope.

Love always,

Clara

clara beyer, gym rat

That's a gross overstatement. I'm that kid who does 45 minutes on the elliptical and nothing else.

But still.

I've been going to the gym, voluntarily, maybe twice a week. On a fairly regular basis.

And, more shocking, I've been enjoying it. I get excited. I've got a workout mix on my ipod.

Who am I? What has this new person done with the normal Clara that everyone had gotten used to?

I have a theory regarding this.

An interesting fact that I had not truly acknowledged is that in college, you're rarely alone. There are always people. So when I'm working out, although other people are in the room, I've got my headphones in and I'm in my own head. (Basically going to the gym is a better way to fulfill my antisocial desires than, for example, wandering around Keeney at two AM on a saturday night, singing songs to myself. That would be an example of "coping badly")

It sort of serves the same purpose as driving around with Zola. I actually plan to have some kind of commute when I enter the working world, because I need 20 minutes here and there to sit in my car or on the tram or something and just chill out.

I don't commute anywhere here (which is great) so I need some kind of designated-not-thinking-or-being-around-other-people-period.

Also, only some people will know what I mean by this, but I feel like I have a lot more energy lately. Not in terms of sleep - I'm definitely not getting enough of that - but in terms of like... vitality. Or something. I don't know.

The reason I bring all of this up is that I just got back from the gym, actually, and it was intense because my evil ipod decided to only play fast songs from my workout mix until like, the very end. I was sprinting like crazy.

So essentially, I'm all hyped up on brain chemicals. No complaints here.

Love always,

Clara

i am not a robot

Dan: I'm the most rational. I'm all logic. Binary. 1s and 0s. If someday you're thinking, "wow, Dan can do the Robot really well..."

Me: I know the secret.

Now all of you do too.

I feel like every time I try to go to the Blue Room to study and eat and get things done, life gets in the way, and I can't really complain, because I love life, but I also love being prepared for class

(Maybe that's an overstatement. More accurate would be that I don't love not being prepared for class).

(I also don't love staying up late to finish said work.)

Someone on the lower quad of Keeney was playing The Decemberists really loudly tonight. I'm a fan. If they were pumping techno on a thursday, I'd be annoyed. But super-loud-folk-music is perfect for a chill thursday evening, drinking peppermint tea and listening to the rain and not being sure whether you should close your window, because it's not like the rain is coming in that much.

Anyway, that's been my life these days.

Love always,

Clara

undecided

I'm mad conflicted at the moment. One part of me wants to go out, because this week is seriously dragging and there's definitely some kind of party happening (for heaven's sake, it's a wednesday. Of course there's a party happening.)

The other part of me feels lazy, overfilled with grilled cheese and soup, and probably sick. And that part of me wants to curl up in sweatpants and watch Law and Order and be in bed before midnight.

At the moment, I'm not sure which faction is going to win.

In the meantime, I've had a music downloading moment.

Hoppipolla - Sigur Ros

Animal Arithmetic - Jonsi

The Con - Tegan and Sara

Saturday - Rachael Cantu

Boy With a Coin - Iron & Wine

Without You - Junip

Two Wooden Spoons - This Is the Kit

In Every Direction - Junip

I feel like my music tastes have changed so much over the past couple years, and yet stayed the same in a lot of ways. When I first started this blog, I was just discovering Iron & Wine. Can you imagine?

Love always,

Clara

bewildering

I made the radical decision to take Intro to Modern Culture and Media Pass/Fail yesterday. Here's why:

"Or even when signs are studied from a social viewpoint, only the traits that attach language to the other social institutions -- those that are more or less voluntary -- are emphasized; as a result, the goal is by-passed and the specific characteristics of semiological systems in general and of language in particular are completely ignored."

Try to understand that sentence on first-read.

Anyone who can give me a summary in the comments gets... some trail mix. Because that's what I have in my dorm room.

Love always,

Clara

the bird is the word

So right now I'm excited because twitter used a Freelance Whales song in their new-format-unveil video.

Can I just talk about twitter for a second?

I am a little bit obsessed with it. The twitter app on my phone was broken for a little while back there, and it made me so sad. Let me tell you why-

1. Remembering things. A lot of times something funny happens, I tweet about it so that I remember to mention it on the blog later.
2. Communicating with my awesome twitter-buds. This is also useful when I have a twitter-based nervous breakdown and people who know me in real life ask whither my mind has gone.
3. Showcasing my brilliant iPhone photography. Ish.
4. Drunk tweets.
5. Stalking people on their own terms. On twitter, people are sort of asking to be stalked, but they're the ones feeding the information in, so I think it's okay.
6. A reminder that Justin Bieber is still relevant in many parts of the world. Actually wait, I'd rather not have that all over my home page, thanks.

Anyway. All of yall should join twitter. It's phenomenal.

Also, listen to Freelance Whales.

That's all for tonight. Maybe I'll give you more authoritarian demands tomorrow. We'll see.

Love always,

Clara

all over the place

I have been busy basically all day. I can never decide whether I love that feeling or hate it. It's like working out - exhausting while you're at it, but pretty awesome when you're done.

I'm basically done now. The only thing left on the agenda is to watch Gossip Girl, which isn't exactly the most stressful of my daily activities.

Let me recount this for you.

On monday and wednesday mornings, I have three classes in a row- 9 AM Economics, 10 AM Philosophy, and 11 AM Modern Culture and Media. Somehow last night it didn't fully occur to me that it was a sunday and that I should probably go to bed before 2 AM, so getting up was an adventure in itself. I decided that I absolutely without question needed coffee this morning.

Now, the coffee in the Ratty is questionable at best, and the Blue Room always has this ridiculous line, so I decided I would utilize an oft-forgotten resource: the Campus Market. I'd seen coffee maker machines there, so it seemed like a safe way to avoid the morning rush and still get my fix.

So I show up, and I'm the only one there, because literally no one goes to this place. And I'm in this weird brain-dead state, just blinking at the coffee machines, trying to figure out how to persuade them into giving me the caffeine that I so desperately need. And finally I just ask the guy at the desk how they work.

So he comes over, and blinks at them too, and says, "Oh, I guess they're not working right now."

At this point, I died.

So I stumble out of there with a Snapple tea (maybe there's some caffeine in there? I had too much pride to go for the 9AM red bull) and a little bag of Welch's fruit snacks. And I sit there for a moment vowing never to go back to this cursed market again, unless I really feel like buying a microwavable vegan burrito. Which might happen, actually.

Anyway, so then I had my three-class whirlwind, which was no more or less insane than usual. I wandered into the Ratty alone for lunch, which is inherently dangerous, but ran into this kid who I can only assume is in my unit, whose name I must have learned at some point. The problem is that we've hung out too much for me to ask his name now. Hopefully it will come to me, or I'll hear someone refer to him in the third person.

After lunch was my one break, during which I bought a couple posters for the room and finished my econ homework. Then I had econ section at 3, which I had expected to last an hour, but the TA seemed baffled by all of these faces looking at him expecting him to say something, so we all just handed in our homework and left after fifteen minutes of awkward silence.

Then another short break, then my unit had some kind of gathering including Meeting St. Cookies, so I had to check that out, but I also had to leave early because I was planning on going over to the Women's Center to phone-bank for Theresa Tanzi, who's running for State Representative in Rhode Island. I let it slip that I did my first phone banking when I was twelve. That's always a fun story to tell.

(It was 2003, I was in sixth grade, and Howard Dean was running for the Democratic nomination. Dad's idea of family time with the daughters often involved bringing us to work with him, but at least at the Dean headquarters I could make myself useful. The uncontested highlight was our Iowa caucus slumber party, which was also the first time I've ever stayed up all night. Dad was supposed to bring me home at some point, but I wanted to stay and Mom wasn't there to make me go home. We called people all night, adjusting our phone lists to the time zones. I called people in Hawaii. This has been a very long parenthetical.)

We had pizza there, and I learned about the Students for Choice group, which sounds pretty interesting. Then I had to peace out and get my mail and go to the Blog Daily Herald information session, because I'm a blogger at heart and need to take my inner monologue a little more public. That was a fun time, and now I'm back in my room blogging and trying to write an article for the BlogDH, and (un)surprisingly one is far easier than the other.

And in 24 minutes, Gossip Girl will be on.

Hell yes.

I'm going to sleep well tonight. That's all I have to say.

Love always,

Clara

it's for the u.s. census

Me: MCM readings make no sense.

Dan: MCM readings make few senses.

Me: No, they make no sense. Zero senses.

Dan: They make one or two senses.

Cameron: Like the census bureau?

I'm trying to do work in Dan and Cameron's room right now. Clearly that's going well, considering the fact that I'm blogging right now.

Someone somewhere is watching a bit of a documentary on the Antikythera Mechanism, a sort of ancient clock that is very clever.

Narrator: The Antikythera Mechanism would be an incredible discovery, even if it were less clever than it is.

This narrator thought that this is a very good joke.

Today has been slightly more productive than yesterday. My life still isn't sorted out, but it's looking sunnier.

Love always,

Clara

i shouldn't be so hard on myself.

Me: You are a better man than I

David: you are worse at being a man only bc you have lady parts, don't be so hard on yourself.

Sorry I've been M.I.A. for the past few days. College keeps you busy.

I'm not sure why they do that, actually.

Also, basically all I did yesterday was sleep and eat until about 8:30. So that wasn't much to blog about.

I've been listening to music and doing work and catching up on sleep and such. I took a bunch of pretty sweet pictures last night, so I'll throw those onto facebook later today I think, and if any are super-crazy-cool, I'll post them up here as well.

Last night was a weird sort of wild-goose-chase, looking for parties. We did find parties, but I kept getting restless and antsy and I couldn't stay still for too long, so I kept bouncing around to different places and driving myself crazy with wanderlust and discontent.

Not the ideal way to spend a Saturday night.

I wasn't in the right mood, I guess.

Now I'm texting David and doing work and trying to sort out my life.

We'll just see how that goes.

Love always,

Clara

first collegiate music binge

And I'm as all-over-the-place with my musical preferences as ever.

My recently acquired tunes:

Waitin' for a Superman (Flaming Lips cover) - Iron & Wine

King of Anything - Sara Bareilles

Suburban War - Arcade Fire

We Used to Wait - Arcade Fire

Faithfully (Journey cover) - Matt the Electrician

Hang With Me - Robyn

Bulletproof (La Roux cover) - Lou Barlow

Love is All - The Tallest Man on Earth

Go Do - Jonsi

Clearly David showed me 'King of Anything' like, months ago, but I only just now decided I want it in my music library. It reminds me of my encounters with family this summer. The general theme is "seriously, don't tell me what to do because it's really not your place, and that's just rude" which I think is a good theme for a song.

Also, I discovered this awesome blog that is all about covers (which is great, because I'm all about covers). It's called Cover Me and it's rocking my world. Note the abundance of covers above.

Unrelated sidenote: Today, in linguistics, I learned that, "anything can happen if you're drunk enough."

(Thanks, professor!)

Love always,

Clara

poor chuck...

Sam just directed me to a startling news article regarding Taylor Momsen.

Me
hahahahaha
holy shit
wtf
Sam
i know
crazy
Me
wild
Sam
i guess we know what happens to Chuck this season

Speaking of things found on the internet, you need to check out the new concept-y Arcade Fire music video. It is actually the coolest thing I have ever seen in my life.

Click here to have your mind completely blown.

Love always,

Clara

what color is YOUR apple?

[Scene: David, Dylan, and myself are eating lunch in the vdub. David is eating a typical red apple. It has a slightly green tint on the inside.]

David: Why is my apple green?

Me: I don't know... why is any apple green?

Dylan: That apple is red, you moron.

We're all really smart at this school, by the way.

Love always,

Clara

which? where? witch? whale?

I've been all over the place for the past few days. Apologies.

Last night I was hanging out with Dylan and Genevieve being generally studious. The two of them were both doing math I think, and I was doing my linguistics reading. The problem with doing linguistics reading is that a solid amount of that reading needs to be done aloud, at least in the phonetics section.

Me: You guys, do the words 'which' and 'witch' sound different to you? They're spelled differently phonetically... the W has two different letters...

Genevieve: Which... witch... which...

Me: The 'which' is supposed to sound more like 'where', whereas the 'witch' is supposed to sound more like 'with'. Is this making any sense?

Apparently the two sound different in different dialects of american english. I can't say I've heard these other dialects.

Me: You guys... do pot and bought rhyme?

Dylan: Yes?

Me: They say no.

I've got this weird paranoia now that I've been speaking english with vague and inaccurate pronunciations for my entire life.

Whatever. I know what rhymes with what.

But which W was used there? Or in that 'which'?

I'm sticking to "that" from now on, given the choice. These Ws are crazy.

Love always,

Clara

fight! fight! fight! fight!

I met some of the funniest people last night. I was at Jo's having a grilled cheese with tomato, and I sat down with them.

Me: Whoa, recap this? I'm lost.

Dan: So you know the pirate ninja thing? Like, pirates versus ninjas? It's kind of overplayed.

Cameron: So we were thinking, the new epic battle could be Quakers versus Leprechauns.

Me: Wow. I like it. You've got that nationalism element, irish versus the dutch... and the cereal aspect of things.

Dan: Cereal! We hadn't even thought of that! The quakers are after the leprechauns' lucky charms!

Next time someone asks you about a rivalry between groups (I want to say mythical groups, but obviously Quakers are real), mention quakers vs. leprechauns.

This is going to catch on.

Love always,

Clara

zoombinis, and mad class

So the other day I was sitting in the Ivy room with Benny and John and Megan and her friend Anna whom I've maybe met twice.

We were eating hummus and such other middle eastern things.

Somehow we got on to talking about video games we enjoyed as a child.

Benny: Do you remember that game, with the little blue people? And you could give them hats?

John: Oh! And they could have springs for feet?

Me: And they used to make pizza for the grumpy people?! And there was a sneezing mountain?!

All of us, in dorky and unrealistic unison: I loved that game!

None of us could remember the name. We didn't have very many identifying features either. How do you google that?

"blue people making pizza sneezing mountain children's game"?

Well, yes.

We spent the next fifteen minutes reminiscing about the Zoombinis that we used to love.

Someone, somewhere, probably my father, once told me that the word "that" was once said to be too versatile to be useful, and someone once came up with a sentence that uses the word "that" something like six or seven times in a row. I've made an effort to use "which" instead as much as possible since then.

However.

On thursday I was in my Introduction to Linguistics class, and someone asked the professor about the that/which distinction, and she said that they were both "proper", although "that" is more colloquial.

Take that.

Speaking of classes, I think I've got my schedule figured out: Intro to Linguistics, Intro to Economics, The Meaning of Life, and Intro to Modern Culture and Media.

Three classes on Mondays and Wednesdays (and perhaps fridays, depending on what mcm section I'm placed in), and one on Tuesday/Thursday. I'm always done with classes before noon. Hooray for not having to rush to lunch.

Also, Emma Watson is shopping my philosophy class. Or, she was, for about ten minutes on friday. She sat down like three rows in front of me and I was so excited.

She probably hates people like me- random stalker freshmen. Oh well.

This whole post has been so rambly.

Love always,

Clara

ice coffee

An interesting fact is that in many parts of the world, iced tea is marketed as "Ice Tea". In english. The international community's refusal to participate in our use of the perfect passive participle ('iced') is perplexing to me, but after a year of drinking Lipton Ice Tea in Switzerland, I've come to terms with the fact that the product sounds more like a chunk of herbal ice than anything else.

Which brings me to my next point: How not to make iced coffee.

So yesterday I bought a coffee maker for 20 bucks because I'm finding I rarely go to the Ratty for breakfast, and anyway the coffee at the Ratty looks like swamp water or something. It was a good investment, I'm pretty sure. It also makes water hot, so if I want to use it for tea or soup or something, that's also an option.

This is all beside the point. For those in places that are not experiencing this weird pre-hurricane heat wave, it is way too hot to be drinking coffee.

Unless, perchance, that coffee is iced.

I decided it would be worthwhile to make some iced coffee, to fulfill the joint goals of learning how to work the damn thing, and having coffee this morning (this all happened yesterday). So I filtered some water and I scooped approximately 2 1/4 tablespoons of coffee mix into the filter area and I did everything right.

And then I put the resulting coffee into the freezer.

For 12 hours.

So this morning I'm looking forward to drinking my iced coffee, and I open the freezer, and it's not so much iced coffee as ice coffee. As in, frozen solid.

I've got mad skills.

Also, I'm finding it curious that so many of these random-college-moments involve refrigerators.

Love always,

Clara

refrigerator adventure

First of all, I always want to put a 'd' in the word 'refrigerator' and it's really problematic. Someone tell me I'm not crazy?

Anyway.

Story time.

So, today, I was walking out of my dorm to go buy some books (because it's the first day of classes, and I think I have my schedule mostly figured out). As I exited the building, I ran into John and his roommate who may or may not be named Lob Sing or something similar. On a related note, I'm realizing how much I suck at names.

John and the roommate who must not be named were wheeling a minifridge around.

John: Hey Clara! Want to see our refrigerator? There's a murky liquid in it!

Me: Absolutely! I love... murky liquids?

So John opened the refrigerator door for me, and, lo and behold, there was a mysterious murky liquid indeed. It wasn't at all what I was expecting. It was a sort of watered-down-magenta color, and there were little things floating (growing?) in it.

Me: It looks like there's an ecosystem in there!

It turns out, John had acquired this refrigerator from his sister's friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin's dog-sitter or something, and it was free, which explains a lot.

It was wild.

Then they left it on the lawn with this other pile of trash, where a dumpster used to be.

For some reason, this was like, the highlight of my day. I had to blog about it.

Love always,

Clara

hey there sydney dalton i think you're chill

This is when you know you spend too much time on the internet. I'm ashamed to even be aware of this debacle.

So here's the story. I'm paraphrasing Jezebel's coverage of the nonsense. This girl that you see above decided she would make an anti-Justin-Bieber video. It's sort of cute. In any case, I am well acquainted with awkward early-teen youtube moments, and am completely sympathetic to the way she will look back on herself later.

But you know those Bieber fans. They're not the most rational people. And by that I mean, I'm almost concerned that there are subliminal messages in his songs.

Which brings me to this video:

THIS GIRL ISN'T EVEN UNIQUE. Sydney Dalton and #slutneydalton were trending topics on twitter today. There is a massive army of awkward tween girls, and they're all pissed off at one person. And sending her DEATH THREATS.

For just about no reason.

I am so glad I'm older than this/not mentally unstable (oh wait, yes I am, but in different ways).

I'm cracking up right now.

Like... wow.

What is the world coming to?

There is also a point to be made about cyberbullying and such but this is too much of a joke for me to take anything seriously at the moment.

For the record (because I don't want to receive any death threats), I rather enjoy some of Justin Bieber's songs, but sometimes I have really bad taste in music, and I totally accept that.

Love always,

Clara

in which i wish for more classes for the first time

Guten morgen!

I woke up way too early this morning. Why I ever thought taking a shower would take almost an hour is so beyond me. I'd resolved to eat a pop tart instead of going to the dining hall, so I've been chilling in my room for the past hour.

I do have somewhere to be this morning. We have meetings with our advisors to figure out courses and such.

My issue is that there are way too many courses I want to take. I want to do introductions to everything, because why the hell not? I've always wanted to know something about linguistics/computer science/urban studies/economics/etc.

We'll see what the advisor-man tells me, and we'll see what I end up taking. I really do have to limit myself to four though. Which might be impossible.

The past couple days have been chill. I want classes to start though; I need to be busy.

Oh well. I only have to wait until tomorrow.

Love always,

Clara

an abundance of hangers

I ran into Ora today! I'm not sure I'd actually seen her since she graduated a couple years ago, but there she was standing in line at the Brown bookstore this afternoon.

Ora: Hey! What are you doing here?

Me: I need more hangers.

Ora: Oh, if you want to come by my dorm, I have a thousand extra hangers.

Me: Awesome! Thanks!

So I go over to her dorm. It turns out she's pledging a coed fraternity this semester (which sounds really cool), and their building shares with another frat. She wasn't exaggerating when she told me how many hangers she had. There might have been tens of thousands. So she gives me two big armfuls and we plan to grab lunch sometime and I walk back to my dorm. With two huge bundles of hangers. Going through a frat.

I felt like Edward hanger-hands or something.

It was awesome.

So that was just one of the many many uncomfortable-freshman moments that I know are in the stars for me.

Hoooray for being awkward.

Love always,
Clara

oh hi college

I'm moved in. I've unpacked and I've put my photos on the wall and I am so living here.

Here are some pictures. I feel like I should be busier than I am, and maybe there's some kind of social mingling happening that I'm not aware of.

I need to find that.

Love always,

Clara

UPDATE: College is awesome.

stressing out

In 15 hours, I will be in Providence, Rhode Island.
I am stressing out.

We (meaning myself, my mother, and two of my many many aunts) went to Target today to pick things up. Various simple things like laundry detergent and Advil. Somehow this became a crazy stressful experience which I would prefer not to repeat. Everyone had opinions on my laundry detergent! No one understood my desire for cute band-aids!
I'm a wanderer. I like strolling through every single aisle figuring out exactly what it is that I need. I don't like limiting myself to a plan, and I don't like having to justify my decisions to other people, and I don't like it when other people (who aren't aware of my elaborate decision-making processes) give me relatively unnecessary input. I know that in the end, it's all body wash, but I want the one that smells like pomegranite because I had a weird love affair with the scent of pomegranite last summer, and my old shampoo/conditioner used to smell like pomegranite, and now that I'm using different shampoo I need some pomegranite in my life, and I don't want to have to explain that to my random well-meaning family members.
I have my reasons.

This is why I used to go to CVS by myself. I'd just wander around. It was great.

Then we got pedicures which was nice except that the woman tried to attack me with her viscious sandpaper torture device. Besides that blip, I did get a lovely lavender color on my toes, so... all's well that ends well.

I've just been stressing out all day and getting worked up over random things. What I need is to blog and run around on the internet for a while, but there hasn't been time for that.
Now there is. I feel much better already.

Blogging is sort of like a drug for me. It keeps my internal monologue from getting to out of sync with reality. If I'm being a crazy person in my head, usually it goes unchecked, but I like to think that I have to acknowledge my madness if I write it down.

Anyway. Expect another blog post tomorrow, and the day after, and forever more, and if I stop, know that I am either busy (e.g. yesterday) or completely losing my mind (e.g. yesterday).

Love always,
Clara

goodbye, switzerland!

I'm leaving. Again.

I think I'm getting used to this itinerant life though. Maybe I should be a Foreign Service Officer. Or door-to-door Bible salesman.

I feel very tempted to bring the kitchen sink.

I went to school today. I needed to pick up my yearbook, and I wanted to bid my ISB friends adieu. I also wanted to steal some music from Thomas's USB, but that didn't exactly work out (coughthomasisafailurebutjkilovehimcough), so he's going to do something fantastic to get me his awesome music, somehow. I trust him.

I'm going to miss the ISB kids. I've gotten so used to their antics. I've grown accustomed to their faces. I've sang songs that I've written in front of them. They've seen me at my best and some of them have seen me at my worst as well. I edited (read: designed) their yearbook, and had to pretend to have some knowledge of the general zeitgeist. But, just as Heisenburg would have predicted, my observation altered the result. I think.

(Wow, I just grossly oversimplified quantum mechanics. Sorry, Heisenburg.)

In any case, they're great and I'm going to miss them and I have this feeling that my absence will be noticed. If anything, with Emily and I gone, it's going to be a lot quieter in the hallways. To which I say, to hell with that. I'm going to be making hallways noisy somewhere else.

At least two of them twitter, so that's a plus. Thomas, I know you're reading this, and I expect you to at least tweet music recommendations at me. And get me that USB. Somehow. I will try to spread the gospel of Freelance Whales to the greater Providence area. And, of course, Marina.

I'm tempted to give everyone shout outs right now, but that's going to get lengthy and awkward and boring to anyone who doesn't know whom I'm talking about. Let it be said, instead, that all of you will go far (essentially, at the risk of sounding pompous, I don't hang out with people who aren't destined for great things).

If you have the chance, come to university in America (or even elsewhere on the east coast of the North American continent) so we can hang out. I'm looking at you, Kajus. And Adelene. And whomever else.

Any of you, feel free to send me your TOK essays. I'll be sure to get high on shrooms before editing. Then you're sure to get a 7. Because, you know, that's how TOK works.*

What is reality anyways?

All in all, I love you guys, and I'm off to college, and I'll see you in December.

Love always,

Clara

*Disclaimer: I've never done shrooms. Mom, calm down.

somehow i think my google results are okay

First, a real conversation from this afternoon--

Mom: Is that you?

Me: Who?

Mom: That girl.

Me: No.

Mom: She looks like you.

Me: Mom, she's black.

Mom: She's wearing sunglasses.

This is what happens when mom looks over my shoulder as I newsfeed-stalk. She can't tell the difference between a news feed and a profile I don't think, so she thinks every item is related to me in some way.

Speaking of facebook and the internet (and the crazy way we live our lives these days), Daphna is very concerned about her google results. When one googles Daphna, the fifth result is her involvement in a facebook group called "Whenever I feel down I listen to the Enormous Penis song and everything's OK"

Daphna

WHAT WILL THE COLLEGES SAY
Clara

haha
Daphna

enormous penis = rejection
Clara

the colleges don't have time for your penises
Daphna

hahahhahaha
idk

they stalk facebook
Clara

seriously
Daphna

they can google my name
Clara

they get SO MANY applications
i feel like they only facebook stalk if they're really super not sure. or bored.
Daphna

although

if i google you

the first thing i get is

clara beyer (clarabellum) on Twitter
its been said i'm a tender spanish lover. also, naked romps lead to jail.
twitter.com/clarabellum - Cached - Similar

Clara

and somehow brown let me in

Daphna

brown might be down with the naked romps. i doubt princeton is down with orgies and enormous penises. they are less chill. they're presbyterian for god's sake.

For god's sake.

Tomorrow is my last real day in Switzerland. I'm going to school to pick up my yearbook, and getting my final shit together. And on Wednesday, I fly to Boston.

This is insane.

In other news, there's an awesome thunderstorm going on right now. I love storms.

This has been a random blog post, brought to you by Clara's tired brain and an excess of date bars.

Love always,

Clara

dancing panda

Enough with the real world.

Check out this panda.

He's going to find the guy who's climbing in your windows, snatching your people up. HE'S GONN FIND YOU.

Love always,

Clara

new songs, and me being a stresscase

I had an interesting night. Instead of going into it, I'm going to show you the music I downloaded today.

Internet Killed the Video Star - The Limousines

Young Blood - The Naked & Famous

Corporation Town - Thomas Patrick Maguire

Kiss With a Fist - Florence + The Machine

Sorrow - The National

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

When I'm Alone - Lissie

I've decided I need to make a playlist for "Things in general are not so bad or scary". I've always been a crazy stresscase. I try to pretend that I used to be a crazy stresscase, but that's a lie. I've just gotten better at talking myself down from things.

Sometimes though, I can't totally talk myself down. And I go straight back into stresscase-mode.

When I was younger, I'd get sent into this state by little random things (that my mother would tell you were just projections of greater issues). If I didn't think I'd unplugged the glue gun, I'd stay up at night in a cold sweat with a stomach ache just thinking about my impending doom, and plotting possible ways to get down to the basement/craft room without alerting my parents to my insanity.

Getting slightly older, this would be prompted by an unprovoked certainty that I was failing 10th-grade-world-history (because I got a B on the last essay and haven't done my reading for this week and it's already thursday OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS OVER). And there was no unplugged glue-gun that I could check. I could get up at two in the morning and do the reading, but that wasn't a done deal.

Anyway, I think that I need a playlist to combat these moods. One can't always get up in the middle of the night and run to check the glue gun or do a week's worth of World History reading or dash off to the emergency room.

Sometimes, you need to sleep.

Maybe one of these days I'll get a good night sleep. Perhaps on the airplane back.

Perhaps not.

Love always,

Clara

four days until i leave, and this is what i've got

Things found in one of my college suitcases:

1. No fewer than four scarves
2. Hooker boots
3. Several white T shirts
4. A leopard print Snuggie (tm)
5. A little globe. (It's blue!)
6. Some anarchist art
7. My Mclean Youth Lacross windbreaker from sixth grade.

Still the only windbreaker I own. I can't imagine how big that must have been on my 6th-grade self.

I feel like college is a joke.

A very funny one, at that.

Love always,

Clara

not even if it were in malibu!

I tried to explain the premise of The Purity Myth to Grace last night.

I'm not sure I got anywhere.

Now I'm at home wondering what to do with myself. I'm organizing a night out tomorrow night, so that's something, but right now I'm at home telling my parents that no, I wouldn't like to play cards with them, actually.

Obviously, in my spare time I talk to David about political issues.

Me
and you know the area around ground zero isn't all hallowed ground anyway
David
sometimes i think there should be stimulus spending for cocktails
Me
there's a strip club on the same block
and GOOD IDEA
boost the economy AND calm everyone down
David
are you saying strip clubs are not hallowed ground?????????????????

We are such serious pundits. There is definitely a talk show career for the both of us somewhere out there.

Now we're discussing the fact that he didn't end up going to Pepperdine.

David
im still sad i am not living in malibu though, but i realized it would be like going to rehab for 4 years
Me
i'd rather not go to rehab
even if it WERE in malibu
David
thats like amy whinehouse, only polite rich girl remix
Me
hahahaha
David
"i'd rather not go to rehab even if it were in malibu no no no!"

David comes up with the greatest song lyrics. Here's a list.

Reasons David should be a Lyricist:

1. "I aborted my crush on you! hoo hoo hoo!"
2. "Blame it on the ve-e-e-e-e-eggie cheese!"
3. "i'd rather not go to rehab even if it were in malibu no no no!"

David should put this blog post on his resume because I am recommending so many professions for him.

Kyle

i totally walked past your house today

That's not creepy at all.

Love always,

Clara

real live humans

It's been a wonderful day for a skype-chat. I'm telling Mackenzie about our crazy house-guests.

Me: They're like, real live humans now, not just random fetuses.

Mackenzie just found out that her campus is dry, and fairly serious about it, but not too serious, thankfully.

Me: At least you're not going to Brigham Young.

Mackenzie: What?

Me: The mormon university?

Mackenzie: Oh. I thought you said Bring-Him-Yum. Like, bring him the goods. I was like... what?

She would.

On an unrelated note, tonight at dinner, we got into a conversation about Star Wars with the "real live humans".

Me: Are the Jedi humans though? I'm not really sure.

Addison: They are, they are! Um... but... they are but they aren't.

Me: Exactly.

Someone gave us a flamboyant Bern-themed flask. It's got Bern-pride tassels and a Bern bear and Bern colors everywhere. I kind of want to bring it to college with me, as the requisite swiss-paraphernalia.

Mom is not sure that this is a good idea.

I think it's a great idea.

I could just put it in my dorm room and admire it from a distance. It could go right next to my globe and my postcards because I am just so international.

I hope I don't become obsessed with my world travels.

It seems likely, unfortunately.

Mackenzie: My singing lumberjack man... the man of my dreams.

I can't even comment on that.

Love always,

Clara

things that make me smile

This seems like a valid and worthwhile exercise.

• Proper grammar.
• Marina and the Diamonds
• Postcards (but not sending them)
• Pretty photography
• Ellie Goulding
• Being obsessed with my music statistics on last.fm (link on the right, for the curious)
• There's this bouncy ball that my boss had on her desk and I've stolen it and now it's on my desk and I play with it when my attention span crashes and burns (as it tends to do)
• My iPhone
• When grown women read Twilight as if it were some kind of legitimate literature
• Coleridge
• Keats
• Kerouac
• Camus
• Alliterations that make me sound perhaps more intellectual than I am
• "Indeed." "Indeed what?" "Indeed speaks for itself!" "Oh? And what does it have to say?"
• An Alaskan Silverwolf typing up a quick confidentiality agreement on his treehouse iMac
• Little Weirdo stories
• Big dogs
• Little dogs
• Chili dog
• Wikipedia
• Beans on toast, and the associations this snack now has
• Naked romps that lead to jail (Buy yourself some clothes at a rummage sale! Naked plans lead to epic fails!)

I acknowledge that this list probably stopped making sense about halfway through.
That's okay. This is my blog and I don't have to be comprehensible if I don't feel like it.

Love always,
Clara

um guys packing is hard

So I just started legitimately packing. I've managed to fit probably half my wardrobe into one pink (monstrous) suitcase. I'm impressed by my ability to increase the density of my apparel.

Speaking of things that are only impressive to me, check out my ability to make packing skills sound like some kind of scientific achievement!

I'm not sure about this whole college thing. Packing my clothes sort of reminded me that it would in fact be me going to Brown in twelve days, and not some idealized super-capable future version of myself. If this college-attending person is wearing my clothes, she's probably me.

The problem is that I can't visualize it. Every time I picture college, I picture myself alone in my room, without friends, without any involvement in anything, and without good grades, trying to watch Gossip Girl and pretend life isn't happening.

I know this is preposterous.

I managed to make friends this year (after a few, shall we say, false starts), and I was probably involved in every extracurricular group short of the basketball team (and, I was involved with a member of the basketball team, and I think that counts). And hey, my grades were good enough to get me into Brown in the first place.

So obviously I'm not a friendless boring sloth in real life.

But I have this horrible irrational fear that I will become an incredibly drab person as soon as I arrive at this wonderful place.

Anyone else freaking out?

Love always,

Clara

P.S. The weird part about this is that I know at least a couple future classmates of mine read this, and hopefully I'll develop something of an audience once I get to college.

What if they eventually read this post and become aware of my insecurities? Heaven forbid.

These are the paranoid thoughts I have. Hi, future classmates.

gotta get my shit together gotta gather my shit

I downloaded some new music today.

Nothing But Change, Pt. 2 - Harlem Shakes

Challengers - The New Pornographers

A Message - Coldplay

Signs - Bloc Party

Slow Show - The National

Warning Sign - Coldplay

Not a huge load, but I'm a fan of all of it, and that's what matters, right?

Our houseguests are freaking me out.

They're wonderful people, really. My mom's old assistant (from an absurdly long time ago) is here with her husband and three young daughters, all of whom are completely adorable, by the way.

The issue is, when I was about twelve, I sort of semi-babysat for them, as a summer job. She was pregnant with her youngest. Her oldest was three.

Now, this girl whom I knew only as a baby bump is six years old. The oldest is nine! And they're all adorable and charming.

What the hell?!

In other news, I've been in Switzerland for a year today.

Also, I leave for America in ten days.

I need to start packing...

Love always,

Clara

we should all be more like bananas

I was reading the back of my cereal box this morning (as I tend to do), and came across this line--

"We should all be more like bananas."

Apparently bananas have the ideal lifestyle, and we should aspire to be more like them.

I hadn't realized this was the case.

Didn't bananas cause some serious civil unrest in South America?

Not sure I want to be like a banana.

Yesterday I skyped with David. When he's at his summer house, he tends to skype with me from his bathroom for various architectural reasons.

Me: David!

David: Yep, here I am, in a dimly lit room, sitting on the toilet. You know how I roll.

He had some pretty funny stories about girls with dry hair and kids who are just discovering parties and being a high-class chauffeur. Then we talked about America's problems. It was awesome.

I've got to go, because I'm only on chapter 8 of my current Pretty Little Liars book, and I want to know what's going to happen next.

Love always,

Clara

cool photo, yeah?

the lights that turn me into stone, originally uploaded by csb324.

I just really like this picture and wanted to post it.
Yeah I took that.

Love always,
Clara

i'm so itchy

I got probably a million bug bites today.

Now I'm debating whether to go to work tomorrow. I probably should. I have things to do there.

Today I brought Chili to work. I decided he and I both needed some excitement.

He, of course, ended up sitting on the floor under my desk, bored out of his mind. I told him, welcome to office life. He made this horribly sad whining noise.

I agreed.

Now I'm talking to Chris. I'm not sure why I do that.

Me
yeah i color outside the lines too
i'm a crazy badass like that
Chris
colouring outside the lines is a sign of incompetence
Me
i'm post-competent
Chris
not bad-assness
post-competent?
Me
like, post-structuralist? or post-modern?
like, i've gone through the "competent" phase and now i've moved on to "post-competent"
Chris
like door-post?
Me
post-morality?
Chris
or fence-post
or even better
post-man
Me
(i am literally shaking my head right now)
Chris
post-card

Like... wow.

He doesn't realize that he's basically an existentialist. I've tried to explain it to him.

I spend a lot of time explaining things like existentialism and Freud and the passive-perfect-participle to the kids here. They don't seem to be absorbing much of it.

Except Simone. He's really absorbing this Freud business. I think it haunts him a little bit.

Earlier I was talking to Chris about leeches. How we get onto these topics is so beyond me.

Chris: Leeches suck.

Me: Literally!

Chris: No, figuratively.

Me: That was a pun. I was really proud of it...

Chris: Oh.

I can't wait to go to a place where people understand when they're being existentialist and will put up with my puns. I sure hope Brown is that place. I feel like it will be.

Love always,

Clara

stories of romeo

I ran into Percy's brother Romeo the other day and we had a priceless encounter that I really can't repeat here. Romeo is 14.

I'm talking to Percy now.

Percy

romeo is crazy

Clara

romeo is hilar

adi would have been like "oh hi whatever" but romeo was like "OHHHHHHH"

Percy

yea

hes just funny

one time my parents came home late

and he was standing right in front of the fridge

and like 2 am

and they are like what are you doing

?

and he says

im taking my medicine

but he was making toast

Clara

hahahahahahahahahaha

We generally run into one of Percy's brothers when we go to the pool, because they live around there.

Apparently Romeo has asked the same 8th grade girl out maybe three or four times. He will grow up to be relentless like his brother, although, by the looks of it, less successful.

Went shopping today. Wasn't I just thinking about how I have far too much clothing? Whatever. I bought very practical things like soft v neck shirts and dark wash jeans (because obviously I don't have enough of those).

(But really. All of my dark wash jeans lose their darkness after a couple months. Mom theorized that I wash them too much, but I really don't! Generally I'll wear jeans a few times before I wash them)

I also packed a suitcase of things for college. They're things I won't see until October (long story involving not-going-home-until-christmas), but it's a step.

That's what I've been up to.

Love always,

Clara

last night

i get knocked down, originally uploaded by csb324.

I spent almost the whole time taking sweet pictures like this one.

Love always,
Clara

some songs

I bought some songs!

Jump In the Pool - Friendly Fires

Black & Blue - Miike Snow

Always Like This - Bombay Bicycle Club

I Don't Know What to Do - Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson

Green Eyes - Coldplay

Let Your Love Grow Tall - Passion Pit

Runaway - The National

Ready to Start - Arcade Fire

Mine - Taylor Swift

I don't know why it took me this long to download Jump In the Pool. I sing it in my head every time I jump into a pool, or someone else jumps into a pool, or someone even tangentially mentions swimming pools.

Also, my love for TSwift will never die.

Love always,

Clara

i like being smacked around a little bit.

I went out tonight and took a million cool pictures. I learned how to drag the shutter all by myself, using the power of logic and absolutely no outside instruction.

I was very proud.

Totally stole the concept from Ella B (who obviously invented it). I've been stalking her photos on facebook because apparently she went to super-cool-photo-camp.

Anyway, I felt the need to disclose that.

Amelia: Cacy's drunk! She says her poodle has bunions!

Cacy: That's a lie! I don't even have a poodle!

We went to the park and spun people around on these playground toys. I mostly photographed.

Now I'm skyping with David. He's telling me about a pretty sad attempt at being served underage. The girl would, upon being asked for ID, pretend she had no idea what was going on.

David: So I was like, did you want the waitress to think you were already retarded, so she couldn't damage you any further with some alcohol?

David: So after she'd been smacked around by the waves a bit, she decided it was too much for her. I think that's the fun part though.

Me: Yeah, I like being smacked around a little bit.

It's true. There are very few things I enjoy more than going into the ocean and getting knocked around by nature.

I really should go to bed now though. I've got work tomorrow.

David's telling me about wordplay though, and I'm finding it hard to drag myself away.

David: So here's the mad sick nasty wordplay. I mean, I don't want to build it up too much. It's just wordplay.

That's wordplay, bitches.

Love always,

Clara

russian winnie the pooh!

The degree to which I enjoyed this is almost embarrassing.

Not that I speak russian or anything. But it was (for the most part) not that hard to figure out what was going on.

Love always,

Clara

P.S. At 1:52, when the fishes jump? I giggle every time!

simone meets freud meets my mother

Kyle and I tried to explain Freud to Simone last night.

That went well.

Simone: That fucking guy is so fucked, man!

Somehow, being told that he secretly wanted to get nasty with his own mother didn't go over so well. I can't imagine why.

I was actually out with my cousin and his harem of Georgia boys last night, but they decided to go in early and watch Zoolander. I wasn't going to question that decision; Zoolander is unquestionably one of the greatest movies of the last twenty years. I wasn't in the mood for an early night though, so I stayed out a bit longer.

This resulted in extreme judgment from my mother. What else is new?

I really don't know what her issue is lately. I'm sure she or some other family member will read this and have their own comments, and I welcome that below (see: Comments). She's spent the past few months being as judgmental as humanly possible, perhaps in a misguided attempt to preserve my 16 year old self before I go to college. I'm not sixteen though, and I don't think she would actually ask me to regress if I asked her explicitly.

Dad has said that she's just worried because I'm going to college and she won't be around to monitor my activities anymore. I'm of the opinion, naturally, that she's in no position to monitor my activities anyway, seeing as I'm legally an adult, and I have pretty good judgment anyway.

I've made far more good decisions than bad ones. They should all trust me by now.

But, for whatever reason, she doesn't.

This is bothering me.

Back to Freud.

In the Oedipus Complex, the child in question feels that to become powerful, he must overthrow the current dictator, his father. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that this is what's going on right now. My mother thinks she should be the one calling the shots for me, and I'm going to reject that.

(I would call that an Electra Complex, but I really don't want to get penis envy involved in any of this)

Anyway, that's been my life lately.

Love always,

Clara

i'm so judgmental (?!)

I've realized something startling about myself.
I am really judgmental in one particular area.
I'd always considered myself a pretty easy-going non-judgmental person. To each his own, right?
Apparently I've been lying to myself. Because if someone is walking around with an "@yahoo.com" email address, I'm going to assume they're a fourth grader. And if you still have a "@aol.com" address that you use on a regular basis, I want you to know that you don't have to pay for dial up anymore, so it's okay to switch. And if your email address in any way references tigger, and you're on my spouse-list, I'm going to wonder who you are and why you're doing this to yourself.

I'm an email-address bitch.

I just spent fifteen minutes plugging email addresses into my contact list so that I can inform the spouses about things when my boss is gone, and I spent the whole time judging people. I've found that the only email addresses I respect are ones that end in "@gmail.com" or ".gov". I suppose I would also respect a ".edu", but I didn't see any of those so I'm going to say that's irrelevant.

Why do so many people use yahoo? Or hotmail?
Gmail is so much better! Come on, guys! Join the 21st century! We're a whole decade into the 2000s! You do not need to be using Yahoo!

I may make this my new personal cause-- to spread the word of Gmail and convert the heathens. Wish me luck.

Love always,
Clara

living arrangements!

I know where I'm living next year!

And it's a cool place!

And I know with whom I'm living too!

Hooray!

Such a good mood. I checked my email at chris's house, because I'm a freak, and all the info was there. I'm living on Keeney quad, which is full of freshman and apparently really lively, and my roommate is from Massachusetts and her name is Genevieve and she likes Passion Pit. That's basically all I know about her, because she hasn't accepted my facebook friend request yet.

I also sent her an email.

Perhaps I'm a little too enthusiastic.

I should calm down.

This is so exciting though.

So exciting that it's kept me up 45 minutes past my bedtime. I should really sleep at some point, preferably soon.

I started rambling to Chris and his brother about the importance of mini-fridges for the purpose of buying little iced coffees and keeping them cold.

Me: So, if I want an iced coffee in the morning instead of a proper breakfast, I can take it from my mini fridge and not have to buy one! It's so useful!

Chris: *looks at me as if I am mad*

Me: It's a normal thing to do! Andrew, you're in college. Isn't keeping iced coffees in your mini fridge a normal thing to do, if you like iced coffee?

Andrew: What? I don't know. I mostly kept beer in mine freshman year.

Me: Oh... my country doesn't really let you do that...

I was serious about the iced coffee. Also, diet coke. I'd really only like a mini-fridge for the purpose of keeping my caffeine chilled.

I love college already.

Love always,

Clara

wooosh!

Okay, I'm home and sort of rested.
Let's talk about europe.

Best vacation ever. Paris was gorgeous. We went to museums and went shopping and avoided most of the touristy areas. And we cooked. I made bruscetta. Eleni and I ran around with false identities calling everyone grapefruits. It was awesome.
Then we went to Berlin and became obsessed with their traffic-man, the Ampelmann. I bought some art from this anarchist community in an abandoned warehouse. We ate currywurst. I discovered that canadians are strangely drawn to me. Not sure what that's about, but it's a bit alarming.
The train from Berlin to Prague was a mess but we made it and that's what's important. Prague is absolutely beautiful. We went to a castle and a bar crawl and a classical music concert. We came back to our hotel room and ate breakfast cake with nutella.
Three short flights later we're in Santorini, in the back of a taxicab with a madman, with whom I was probably rude. Worth it. We discuss my entitlement. I would say "entitlement issues" but I don't see any issue with thinking I deserve not to be killed in the back of a taxi or be overcharged for margharitas or forced to stand on a public bus. If all the seats are taken, fine, but if there are free seats, who says anyone else deserves to sit any more than I do?
We swim in the water. We go to a volcano. We swim in hot springs. We take naps, we take busses, we learn to like tomatoes. That last one was just me.
I walk into a potted plant. That's what you get for trying to walk and text at the same time.

All the while, we're reading Pretty Little Liars out loud, reading epic lines like "Hanna's adam's apple bobbed" and "Rain made Aria think of rainy days" and "woosh!"
We are entertained.

Now I'm home and I'm actually at work.
Promise me that if I ever begin to think a job in an office sounds like fun, you will all find me and smack me and redirect me to these recent blog posts. It's all bitterness and bitchiness and obsession with protocol. And I am not a fan.

Yesterday I went for coffee with Chris because I needed to get out of the house. I'm in this state of mind that I'm an independent person, and being in my home just puts me in the jurisdiction of people whom I don't need. Being out of the house means I'm on my own.
I leave for college in 22 days though.
I really need that.

Love always,
Clara

home, and just in time

I promise, you will get a full fledged eurotrip-recap-blog-post tomorrow. Possibly even complete with pictures.

But right now, I'm home, and I'm going to run out and meet the swiss kids for August 1st (the Swiss 4th of July) celebrations in about thirty minutes, and my hair is still wet.

However, I'm back in my own room. I'm wearing clean clothes for possibly the first time in weeks. I took a really long shower. So I'm in a really good mood.

Love always,

Clara

in greece :)

In a tourist place with internet. I've got eight minutes left on my euro's worth of time, so this will be brief.
The rest of us are checking out ancient Fira, but I was/am exhausted and decided my morning would be better spent asleep on the beach. Which was awesome, by the way, but now I'm covered in sweat and plan to take a long shower at the end of this eight minutes.

Greek food is awesome. Everything is honey and yogurt and nuts and pastry things. Or it's tomatoes and feta and olive oil. I love all of those things! Curiously, I've been wholeheartedly converted to the camp of tomato-loving people. Curious because, until this trip, I've mostly hated tomatoes. They were weirdly juicy. But I've just had so many fantastic tomato-based experiences over here that I have to change my allegiance.
And that's serious business right there.

I'm reading Bonk right now, which is a book about sex, but from a scientific standpoint. I've read about artificially inseminating pigs and the methods used to study sex in the 1950s and sex inside MRI machies and more. Also reading Lolita.
I guess either of these books on their own would be pretty normal, but together there's a certain theme. According to the contents of my bag, I'm a pervert.

NetCredit is freaking out at me. I should go. But all is well from greece and I'll be home again on August 1.

Love always,
Clara

hi there!

I'm sitting in an internet cafe (read internet-basement-of-a-convenience-store). Figured I'd check in.

The past week or so has been awesome. Yesterday we spent 8 hours on trains but passed the time reading Pretty Little Liars out loud. That's a fantastic book, by the way.

Not much time!
Au revoir, Pomplemoose!

Love always,
Clara

packing

It's hard to commit to carrying three weeks worth of clothes on your back. At least on the Camino there was no expectation to look good. On my trip, I don't think that will be the case.

I think I might finally be finished though. Hooray for that. Packing inexplicably wears me out so now I'm trying to put together an awesome traveling playlist.

I was trying to download a bunch of new music, but that is for some reason incredibly difficult lately. I'm so indecisive about music and I've just go this feeling that all of the songs that I love are already on my iPod.

So that got frustrating and then I remembered that I still have that big folder of music that Thomas sent me, so I took another bunch of songs from there. I'm not sure whether they're summer songs because I haven't listened yet, but here's a sampling.

I'll Hold My Breath - Ellie Goulding

Lights - Ellie Goulding

Salt Skin - Ellie Goulding

Your Biggest Mistake - Ellie Goulding

Oh No! - Marina and the Diamonds

Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons

Eat That Up, It's Good for You - Two Door Cinema Club

Hermit the Frog - Marina and the Diamonds

The Outsider - Marina and the Diamonds

Re: Stacks - Bon Iver

Stranger - Noah and the Whale

Team - Bon iver

Thistle & Weeds - Mumford & Sons

Undercover Martyn - Two Door Cinema Club

What You Know - Alessi's Ark

In other news, I'll be absent until August 1st. Maybe August 2nd. I might stop in and blog if we find an internet cafe or something. If I don't, it's because I'm too busy being a backpacker, or because I've been kidnapped and sold into sex slavery.

Love always,

Clara

i went and jumped off a bridge last night

I've been kept up late hearing Camino stories from Katie, Eleni, and Cath.

The Camino sounds hilarious, strenuous, stressful, inspring, and mostly exhausting. Which is why we didn't go clubbing tonight as planned, but instead watched "Taken" with my parents and ate chinese food and sat around my dining room table and chatted.

Mom legitimately told my dad to go out and buy "Taken" so that we could watch it before we left. As an educational experience or something. A two-hour-long-educational-experience-with-drugs-and-guns.

Me: Look at Mom, so pleased with herself. She's like "and that's why you should stay in switzerland for the next three weeks!"

Mom: And don't swim in the Aare!

Me: Because there are Albanians in the Aare! With heroin!

The Aare, by the way, is a river. And while I'm sure that sometimes there are Albanian immigrants swimming in the river (because it's quite the Swiss sumer activity), they have no interest in kidnapping any of us or selling us into sex slavery.

Today I did swim in the Aare. I jumped off a bridge into the river and it was probably the greatest half-second of my life. For the record, I did check to be sure the water was deep enough, and I knew I was a strong enough swimmer to take on the current. I'm a safe river-swimmer.

Danny and I were supposed to go at the same time, actually.

Me: Danny, have you never jumped before either?

Danny: No.

Me: We can have our first times together!

Danny: Um...

So he says, "On three..." and I'm freaking out and Chris is behind us. And Danny jumps. And we have to go down in a group because swimming in the river alone is another unsafe thing. So I'm like, "shit, I have to go, because otherwise I'm stuck without the group and/or Danny's by himself and neither of those are good.

So I jump.

Best half-second ever.

Love always,

Clara

P.S. Bonus points to those who got the Eddie From Ohio reference in here.

frogging, flogging, and blogging

Go Spain!

I have no idea how to properly cheer for a soccer game. I really have gotten into the whole soccer deal, but I'm not a pro yet. I can be heard shouting things like "KICK THAT BALL, SPANYARD!" and "NO, DON'T KICK, BITCHES!"

I think the problem is that people don't really do anything other than kick in soccer. Or I just don't know enough about soccer to distinguish the differences between kicks.

Thomas: America is awesome at everything. [rolls eyes]

Me: Thomas! You're my new favorite!

Thomas: What? Oh, clearly you didn't see my eye roll.

Me: Oh. Well, it's what I heard that counts.

Thomas: You would like me a lot better if you were blind.

This sent me into hysterics, of course. Thomas might still be my new favorite, regardless of the eye-roll.

It's up for debate. I'm still not sure who my old favorite was, so it may be hasty to choose a new favorite already.

I've been into this new thing where I threaten to flog people. It's really useful in a lot more situations than you would think. As I learned with Peter, if something is giving you trouble, hit it with a hammer.

Anyway, this new tendency has gotten me into a bit of trouble, because no one understands me when I speak. They think I'm saying I want to "frog" them. "Frogging" has somehow taken on a sexual connotation. How that happened is a mystery.

Me: Danny, I told you not to eat the chips! I will flog you!

Danny: No, don't frog me! I'm still sore from last time you frogged me!

You see how this can get out of hand very quickly.

Flogging people is one of the best ways I know to express myself though.

Sometimes, people just need to be flogged.

Thomas: Are you going to blog about blogging about me saying that you were going to blog me, about blogging?

How am I supposed to not blog that?

Love always,

Clara

yikesss

I like my job.

I do.

Really.

However, something about the government and the standards there just don't grok well with me.

It has come to my attention that my writing style is considered "irreverent".

It has also come to my attention recently that this particular style is going underappreciated in areas other than my blog.

To which I say, to hell with that.

Fuck reverence.

I mean, I suppose reverence as a general concept is worth holding onto in society, for certain circumstances (see: childbirth, pretty sunsets, the president if he's in the room).

But reverence for the sake of reverence because the lack of reverence would be considered inappropriate? That's circular!

I hope to never work in an office. Everything is catty and messy and I want to write a big expose on all of the scandals (OMG someone borrowed our copy of that travel book without asking) except knowing me, it would be irreverent, and that won't do.

No one can step on anyone's toes, but everyone's toes are stepped upon.

And now my toes feel sore.

And I have to watch myself.

And I hate that.

I'm clumsy. I walk into things, people, if it's there, I'll probably stumble upon it somehow. And I've taken this trait and incorporated it into my persona, my affect, my unescapable Clara-ness that would be very difficult to reverse at this point in the game.

I believe I've been known to say too much and maybe that's what I'm doing now.

All of this is just proving to me that I'm not cut out for a traditional career of any kind. Anyone know any non-traditional careers that I might enjoy that would definitely without a shadow of a doubt keep me out of office life forever?

That would be awesome, thanks.

Daphna
I spent like an he subwayibf caarilus places
ok that was ibxomprehendible

I just talked to Daphna on AIM. If it helps her case, she was typing from an iPod Touch.

Love always,

Clara

differences between me and spain

Oren: Are you still alive?

Me: Yes

Oren: That's good. It's a good day to be alive.

Thanks for that, Oren.

Another gem from tonight-

Me: My friends are walking through Spain.

Someone: In the mountains?

Me: No I think it's pretty flat.

Chris: Unlike Clara.

... later...

Oren: You're flat honest.

Me: I'M NOT FLAT.

These are the facts. I'm not flat, but Spain is, in some parts.

Me: Everyone at this school is weird as shit.

Oren: Including you.

Me: Yeah, I include myself in that.

Oren is trying to make the case that this school turns people crazy. I disagree. I was pretty insane before I got here.

Me: I will flog you.

Love always,

Clara

things found while clearing off my bed

• A computer chip
• Five (5) programs for Potomac Graduation
• A photocopy of my insurance card
• My diploma
• Four (4) science-related magazines
• A dinner knife

To which I say... what the fuck?

My bedroom is a disaster zone right now.

Hopefully I can somewhat get my shit together before the beginning of epic-euro-trip-2010, which is going to be fantastic, by the way, if you were wondering.

Non-sequitur: I am always hungry.

Love always,

Clara

chili dog

chili dog, originally uploaded by csb324.

This post might as well be called, "I am exhausted and simply cannot blog tonight and will probably pass out as soon as I click 'POST,' if I even make it that far."

In lieu of my witty commentary on things, I present to you, a picture of my dog.

He is also very witty.

Love always,
Clara

go fish

We played Go Fish tonight.

I have not played such a rigorous game of Go Fish since I was in third grade.

Five guys, two decks of cards, only seven 9s, and one Clara.

Honestly the only insight into this evening that I feel qualified to give is a series of quotes-without-much-context. Any further analysis would be overreaching and would probably mar the purity of the event.

(That's my way of saying, "I'm a lazy blogger tonight, because I'm tired, and these quotes are pretty funny.")

Simone: Gimme your bitch, your queen.

Peter: It's dry now, just all sticky and stuff.

(I believe he had spilled Pepsi on his hand, but who can say for sure?)

Simone: Clara, do you have any bitches?

Me: So many. However, none of the kind you want. Fish.

Kyle: There's my king, there's my dude.

Kyle: All Simone has is bitches.

Simone did end up with a lot of bitches, and by that I mean queens, and by that I mean wow, Go Fish is a really fantastic game.

Love always,

Clara

exhausted

Oh. My. God.

I'm beginning to think that 4th of July is my new favorite holiday.

Today was ridiculous in twelve different ways.

1. I spent three hours theoretically "at work" doing almost nothing, due to some sort of miscommunication between Boss and I.
2. Peter demanded that I donate my presence to the cause of his happiness,* so I had lunch with him.
3. Pictures from the past few nights went up on facebook, which is always entertaining, especially in regards to nights like the last few.
4. I mingled like a boss at the Independence Day event, making witty charming comments about the weather, as if I had been born to have these sorts of pointless conversations.
5. There were bunnies in my front yard.
6. I introduced some co-workers to some very pretty girls, because I am a good person.
7. Someone who called himself a "Rock-Jazz Pianist" was in my living room, and was the source of the most phenomenal sounds I have ever heard from a piano.
8. At the dinner following this event, karma proved herself to me.
9. I drank something called a "libertini"
10. Every question anyone ever had about the internet or social media or documentary film or soccer or Brown University was answered at my table.
11. I managed to get through a vaguely messy dinner without marring the whiteness of my graduation dress.
12. There was a dance party in my living room.

*People should use that sentence construction more often. As if my presence were a gift, and his happiness, a charity.

And now I'm wiped out. Actually, I was wiped out two hours ago, but Blythe made me keep dancing. She also steals people's sneezes. That deviant.

Love always,

Clara

holding my tongue

I'm chilling with Peter and Chris, the embassy brothers productive.

Peter: That was great. Me and Thomas found that.
Me: Thomas and I. No one speaks engilsh here.
Chris: Well people make that mistake in America too.
Me: At my old school, we were all sort of pretentious and we'd correct each other's grammatical errors. I've been holding my tongue all year. I can't do it anymore.
Chris: So... up until this point... you've been quiet?

Fair enough. I'd been holding my tongue about grammatical errors. My tongue had been pretty unrestrained regarding almost anything else.

Well that last sentence sounded strangely suggestive-slash-creepy.

Love always,
Clara